PRELABOR
things got started the morning of easter sunday. i woke up with blood-tinged mucus that increased throughout the day. after breakfast i called my midwife to let her know, since this was the last sign that happened for me before i went into labor with james. she cautioned that it could be days or even weeks still, but i felt like it would be a couple days at most. she was taking it seriously, too, though - she called her assistant, and told me she would check back in in a few hours. i ran around trying to do all the things we had left to do before the baby came, and started feeling very mild contractions by mid-day. they didn't come regularly and seemed to be associated more with particular motions or positions, so once again i figured those could last a few days... though with james that pattern was what happened during the day before the night i went into labor. we had a bit of trouble grocery shopping because of easter - arrived at our usual store at 2:02 to find they'd closed at 2. by the time we got home james was overdue for a nap and gary got him down and we got a precious couple hours to finish our preparations! i made dinner while gary finished up some grading, then we woke james up from his late nap, ate dinner all together, and then i was feeling the contractions more regularly - every 5-10 minutes, and they were lasting about 30 seconds.
LABOR BEGINS
once i finished dinner around 7:30 i got in the bathtub to see if that would either make the contractions go away or if it would at least help me relax through them. they were still easy to cope with, but i was starting to need to focus on myself rather than james or any household chores. i read the new yorker in the bath... an article about paul wolfowitz and the world bank, then started in on a short story by don delillo. gary was giving james a bath in the other bathroom, but realized i was starting to need his attention, so we called a neighbor to come be with james and she took him back to her house pretty soon afterwards. we had left a message with the midwives after dinner saying that things were progressing, but nothing serious yet. now we called back and said things were underway and asked the midwife who lives about half an hour away to come hang out at the house of her assistant who lives 5 minutes away. i continued to labor in the tub, and maybe around 8 or 8:30 things crossed the line between what i experienced as pre-labor with james but didn't rise to the intensity of what the start of my labor with james was. finally, i was getting to experience early labor
we timed some contractions and they were coming at least every 5 minutes and lasting 1-2 minutes. now i knew for sure i was in labor! i started not being able to read the don delillo story during contractions. instead i rubbed my belly and said "hi baby" and tried to think about the pain in different ways - as an expansion rather than contraction... or as something more sensual than painful. those things helped me keep calm during contractions and not let them get away from me quite yet. i never got completely into a different mindset, but it allowed me to change my reaction to individual contractions after they started. gary stayed right with me, offering me water and helping me get out of the tub when i needed to pee. i also had been having looser stools throughout the day and continued to in labor, never feeling like i could clear out fully.
NEEDING A BREAK
then things got difficult enough the tub, my philosophizing about contractions, and gary's gentle help were not enough. gary called the midwives to come over - the head midwife was still in transit and rerouted to our house. i got out and the midwives checked the baby's heart rate quickly with a doppler - all looked good - and i'd been feeling the baby move a lot between contractions and after the peaks of contractions. i don't remember feeling james move at all... maybe i was too wrapped up in labor?? i labored some swaying around with gary... i got into bed, and spent some time taking contractions on hands and knees while leaning forward to take the pressure off my cervix. gary tried massaging my lower back, but that was too much for me. eventually ended up lying on my left side with gary curled against my back. some contractions were easy enough to breathe through... others had me moaning already. they were getting really intense, but i was getting long breaks between them to rest and collect myself. gary was able to sleep some especially if i had a quiet contraction. i think i may have dozed off between a few contractions. it felt so nice to just lie there wrapped up with gary and take the contractions so nicely spaced apart... but the contractions were very strong, and i knew i didn't want to keep doing that forever - strong contractions that weren't progressing towards a baby. so eventually i got up and headed for the bathroom to see if emptying my bladder and moving a bit would intensify labor.
TRANSITION
and oh yes, it did! the contractions started coming at a very quick pace and were very very strong. some i could cope with, some i cried out at. i knew laboring on the toilet had helped a lot with james, so i knew this was useful, but all the same, i was miserable and not sure how much longer i could cope. i broke out in a sweat, and took this as a good sign that i was in transition. a midwife checked the heartbeat again and it was still perfect. i started to feel like i ought to try the birthing tub downstairs. i was thinking about all the stories i'd heard of women who made that final leap to complete dilation as soon as they got in the tub. i was unsure of how i would react to being in the tub, because it hadn’t felt good to be in water late in labor with james, but i was fairly sure by now that that was because the jacuzzi tub at the hospital just didn’t offer enough freedom of movement. but my contractions were so close and painful it was very daunting to think of heading downstairs. i told the asst. midwife i was thinking of heading for the tub, and she said she thought it would be a good idea, so i found the courage to head there. i tried to hurry as quickly as possible between contractions, because i don't think i had more than 15-20 seconds between them. i had probably 4 or 5 contractions on the way to the tub.
COMPLETE!
somehow i managed with gary's help to step into the tub. i felt my legs and thighs relax in the warm deep water - definitely more comfortable than a bathtub! but the contractions were pretty well unbearable by now - whatever unbearable means when you just keep bearing it! after a few contractions i felt a big pop during a contraction and a whoosh of fluid out of me - and i announced that the waters had broken. then with each contraction i started feeling a pushing sensation at the peak of the contraction... then through more of the contraction, and i started groaning the way i remember i had while pushing james. i said i was starting to feel like pushing during contractions, and the midwife said it sure sounded like it! i was excited that i was finally at the end, but somehow the pain got even more intense and i could feel myself panicking. the midwife asked me to feel if i could feel anything inside... this was actually fairly grounding to do - and very exciting to feel a very bony little dome just a couple inches in. i announced that i felt a head, for sure. on the next contraction i felt a ton of head - could feel the scalp squishing up, and the hair. the midwives starting asking me to breathe the baby out... to ease up on pushing. i tried to put my hands on my perineum to feel how it was going and to remind myself not to push too hard and fast. i felt pretty out of control though - trying to deal with a contraction, push, breathe, feel for feedback on my pushing, feeling like my pelvis was about to explode... and in an amazing instant the whole head was out. again they called out to me to slow down and breathe. so hard to do! i'm glad they reminded me, because i wasn't thinking about how big a baby's shoulders can be. the midwife reached in quickly to check for cord around the neck - i hardly noticed. on the next contraction the shoulders slipped out and the baby was all born! 11:47pm. i can't quite remember what position i was in for all this - gary says i was on hands and knees - i think i may have had my hands up on the edge of the pool. someone reached in for the baby and handed the baby to me as i turned around to lean back against the side of the pool.
MEETING THE BABY
I held the baby on my chest for a long time before I was ready to lift the baby up and check… and when I did, we saw she was a girl, and knew that we had had our little Cecelia! she was so strong – lifting her head up off my chest already. She cried some, and was a little mucusy – but we didn’t want suctioning – we just let her rest on my chest and try to drain it out with some snuffles and sneezing. After resting in the tub a while, the midwives asked if I could get out because they wanted me to deliver the placenta out of the tub. I waddled over to the couch, Cecelia still attached to her umbilical cord, still attached to the placenta, still attached to me! The midwives had covered everything in towels and chux pads, and hey, our couch is deep red anyway. The contractions that came on now were unexpectedly hard, but less frequent than they had been during 2nd stage labor. About 25 minutes after her birth, the placenta came rocketing out and the contractions started to feel much easier, though overall the afterpains were no picnic. The placenta was placed in a stainless steel bowl, and the midwives checked me out. They gave me some herbs in water because I was bleeding a bit, but they said I was clotting very fast. I had a superficial tear of about 1/2” and we all agreed to let it be rather than put in the 3 stitches it would have taken… but then I had to agree to mostly stay in bed for one week with my legs together afterwards. I’m only one day in, but I can tell that will be hard with a toddler and baby! Still, I prefer to let it heal naturally. The head midwife helped me to the toilet and washed me down a bit with a washcloth where I was covered in blood and meconium. Cecelia had been a champion pooper already – although her waters broke clean, she had pooped plenty by the time we got out of the tub. Then we headed upstairs to snuggle in bed.
Cecelia hadn’t been too interested in nursing, but I did finally get her to nurse upstairs. The midwives then checked her out, and figured she weighed in at 9lbs even, and 21” long. Almost exactly the same as her big brother who was 8lb14oz and 21.5”. Once they were done with the newborn exam, we decided we were ok with cutting the cord – it had been about 2 hours, and it was cold and getting very thin. The midwives tied what looked like a bit of shoelace on her end, then put two clamps on, and Gary cut between them. I was watching carefully to see if she startled from any sensation, and she did move a bit, but didn’t seem uncomfortable – she may have just felt a tugging and no more. I decided I didn’t want to keep the placenta, so it’s going with the head midwife to her garden.
I’ve been taking herbal remedies for afterpains and for bruising and swelling. I feel pretty good for what I just went through! Much better than I did after James. I’m just glowing happy that everything worked out so well – that the midwives were fine with almost completely staying in the background until I needed them, and then were excellent support after the birth. It was all just how I wanted it, imagined it, and asked for. One thing I had been a little nervous about was that my midwives wanted to check the fetal heart rate between every pushing contraction, and I was worried that would feel very uncomfortable and inhibiting for me. In the end it all went so fast and I was in the tub, so they just let it happen without interference, which I really appreciated. As we’d already spoken about, there were no cervical checks – it was pretty clear where I was in labor at every step! I barely saw them at all during labor except for the last 5 minutes… just the two heart rate checks, and I occasionally heard one come upstairs to just stand in a doorway and listen for a minute, or have a look at my face if it was convenient… but they didn’t talk really, and I usually wasn’t even aware of which one was present. I felt comforting to know they were checking in on me, but also comforting that there wasn’t anything they needed to do – that everything was going so well.
After two short and intense labors, i'm still in awe of anyone who has to labor for 10, 12, 24, 48 hours... this is plenty for me!
things got started the morning of easter sunday. i woke up with blood-tinged mucus that increased throughout the day. after breakfast i called my midwife to let her know, since this was the last sign that happened for me before i went into labor with james. she cautioned that it could be days or even weeks still, but i felt like it would be a couple days at most. she was taking it seriously, too, though - she called her assistant, and told me she would check back in in a few hours. i ran around trying to do all the things we had left to do before the baby came, and started feeling very mild contractions by mid-day. they didn't come regularly and seemed to be associated more with particular motions or positions, so once again i figured those could last a few days... though with james that pattern was what happened during the day before the night i went into labor. we had a bit of trouble grocery shopping because of easter - arrived at our usual store at 2:02 to find they'd closed at 2. by the time we got home james was overdue for a nap and gary got him down and we got a precious couple hours to finish our preparations! i made dinner while gary finished up some grading, then we woke james up from his late nap, ate dinner all together, and then i was feeling the contractions more regularly - every 5-10 minutes, and they were lasting about 30 seconds.
LABOR BEGINS
once i finished dinner around 7:30 i got in the bathtub to see if that would either make the contractions go away or if it would at least help me relax through them. they were still easy to cope with, but i was starting to need to focus on myself rather than james or any household chores. i read the new yorker in the bath... an article about paul wolfowitz and the world bank, then started in on a short story by don delillo. gary was giving james a bath in the other bathroom, but realized i was starting to need his attention, so we called a neighbor to come be with james and she took him back to her house pretty soon afterwards. we had left a message with the midwives after dinner saying that things were progressing, but nothing serious yet. now we called back and said things were underway and asked the midwife who lives about half an hour away to come hang out at the house of her assistant who lives 5 minutes away. i continued to labor in the tub, and maybe around 8 or 8:30 things crossed the line between what i experienced as pre-labor with james but didn't rise to the intensity of what the start of my labor with james was. finally, i was getting to experience early labor
we timed some contractions and they were coming at least every 5 minutes and lasting 1-2 minutes. now i knew for sure i was in labor! i started not being able to read the don delillo story during contractions. instead i rubbed my belly and said "hi baby" and tried to think about the pain in different ways - as an expansion rather than contraction... or as something more sensual than painful. those things helped me keep calm during contractions and not let them get away from me quite yet. i never got completely into a different mindset, but it allowed me to change my reaction to individual contractions after they started. gary stayed right with me, offering me water and helping me get out of the tub when i needed to pee. i also had been having looser stools throughout the day and continued to in labor, never feeling like i could clear out fully.NEEDING A BREAK
then things got difficult enough the tub, my philosophizing about contractions, and gary's gentle help were not enough. gary called the midwives to come over - the head midwife was still in transit and rerouted to our house. i got out and the midwives checked the baby's heart rate quickly with a doppler - all looked good - and i'd been feeling the baby move a lot between contractions and after the peaks of contractions. i don't remember feeling james move at all... maybe i was too wrapped up in labor?? i labored some swaying around with gary... i got into bed, and spent some time taking contractions on hands and knees while leaning forward to take the pressure off my cervix. gary tried massaging my lower back, but that was too much for me. eventually ended up lying on my left side with gary curled against my back. some contractions were easy enough to breathe through... others had me moaning already. they were getting really intense, but i was getting long breaks between them to rest and collect myself. gary was able to sleep some especially if i had a quiet contraction. i think i may have dozed off between a few contractions. it felt so nice to just lie there wrapped up with gary and take the contractions so nicely spaced apart... but the contractions were very strong, and i knew i didn't want to keep doing that forever - strong contractions that weren't progressing towards a baby. so eventually i got up and headed for the bathroom to see if emptying my bladder and moving a bit would intensify labor.
TRANSITION
and oh yes, it did! the contractions started coming at a very quick pace and were very very strong. some i could cope with, some i cried out at. i knew laboring on the toilet had helped a lot with james, so i knew this was useful, but all the same, i was miserable and not sure how much longer i could cope. i broke out in a sweat, and took this as a good sign that i was in transition. a midwife checked the heartbeat again and it was still perfect. i started to feel like i ought to try the birthing tub downstairs. i was thinking about all the stories i'd heard of women who made that final leap to complete dilation as soon as they got in the tub. i was unsure of how i would react to being in the tub, because it hadn’t felt good to be in water late in labor with james, but i was fairly sure by now that that was because the jacuzzi tub at the hospital just didn’t offer enough freedom of movement. but my contractions were so close and painful it was very daunting to think of heading downstairs. i told the asst. midwife i was thinking of heading for the tub, and she said she thought it would be a good idea, so i found the courage to head there. i tried to hurry as quickly as possible between contractions, because i don't think i had more than 15-20 seconds between them. i had probably 4 or 5 contractions on the way to the tub.
COMPLETE!
somehow i managed with gary's help to step into the tub. i felt my legs and thighs relax in the warm deep water - definitely more comfortable than a bathtub! but the contractions were pretty well unbearable by now - whatever unbearable means when you just keep bearing it! after a few contractions i felt a big pop during a contraction and a whoosh of fluid out of me - and i announced that the waters had broken. then with each contraction i started feeling a pushing sensation at the peak of the contraction... then through more of the contraction, and i started groaning the way i remember i had while pushing james. i said i was starting to feel like pushing during contractions, and the midwife said it sure sounded like it! i was excited that i was finally at the end, but somehow the pain got even more intense and i could feel myself panicking. the midwife asked me to feel if i could feel anything inside... this was actually fairly grounding to do - and very exciting to feel a very bony little dome just a couple inches in. i announced that i felt a head, for sure. on the next contraction i felt a ton of head - could feel the scalp squishing up, and the hair. the midwives starting asking me to breathe the baby out... to ease up on pushing. i tried to put my hands on my perineum to feel how it was going and to remind myself not to push too hard and fast. i felt pretty out of control though - trying to deal with a contraction, push, breathe, feel for feedback on my pushing, feeling like my pelvis was about to explode... and in an amazing instant the whole head was out. again they called out to me to slow down and breathe. so hard to do! i'm glad they reminded me, because i wasn't thinking about how big a baby's shoulders can be. the midwife reached in quickly to check for cord around the neck - i hardly noticed. on the next contraction the shoulders slipped out and the baby was all born! 11:47pm. i can't quite remember what position i was in for all this - gary says i was on hands and knees - i think i may have had my hands up on the edge of the pool. someone reached in for the baby and handed the baby to me as i turned around to lean back against the side of the pool.
MEETING THE BABY
I held the baby on my chest for a long time before I was ready to lift the baby up and check… and when I did, we saw she was a girl, and knew that we had had our little Cecelia! she was so strong – lifting her head up off my chest already. She cried some, and was a little mucusy – but we didn’t want suctioning – we just let her rest on my chest and try to drain it out with some snuffles and sneezing. After resting in the tub a while, the midwives asked if I could get out because they wanted me to deliver the placenta out of the tub. I waddled over to the couch, Cecelia still attached to her umbilical cord, still attached to the placenta, still attached to me! The midwives had covered everything in towels and chux pads, and hey, our couch is deep red anyway. The contractions that came on now were unexpectedly hard, but less frequent than they had been during 2nd stage labor. About 25 minutes after her birth, the placenta came rocketing out and the contractions started to feel much easier, though overall the afterpains were no picnic. The placenta was placed in a stainless steel bowl, and the midwives checked me out. They gave me some herbs in water because I was bleeding a bit, but they said I was clotting very fast. I had a superficial tear of about 1/2” and we all agreed to let it be rather than put in the 3 stitches it would have taken… but then I had to agree to mostly stay in bed for one week with my legs together afterwards. I’m only one day in, but I can tell that will be hard with a toddler and baby! Still, I prefer to let it heal naturally. The head midwife helped me to the toilet and washed me down a bit with a washcloth where I was covered in blood and meconium. Cecelia had been a champion pooper already – although her waters broke clean, she had pooped plenty by the time we got out of the tub. Then we headed upstairs to snuggle in bed.
Cecelia hadn’t been too interested in nursing, but I did finally get her to nurse upstairs. The midwives then checked her out, and figured she weighed in at 9lbs even, and 21” long. Almost exactly the same as her big brother who was 8lb14oz and 21.5”. Once they were done with the newborn exam, we decided we were ok with cutting the cord – it had been about 2 hours, and it was cold and getting very thin. The midwives tied what looked like a bit of shoelace on her end, then put two clamps on, and Gary cut between them. I was watching carefully to see if she startled from any sensation, and she did move a bit, but didn’t seem uncomfortable – she may have just felt a tugging and no more. I decided I didn’t want to keep the placenta, so it’s going with the head midwife to her garden.
I’ve been taking herbal remedies for afterpains and for bruising and swelling. I feel pretty good for what I just went through! Much better than I did after James. I’m just glowing happy that everything worked out so well – that the midwives were fine with almost completely staying in the background until I needed them, and then were excellent support after the birth. It was all just how I wanted it, imagined it, and asked for. One thing I had been a little nervous about was that my midwives wanted to check the fetal heart rate between every pushing contraction, and I was worried that would feel very uncomfortable and inhibiting for me. In the end it all went so fast and I was in the tub, so they just let it happen without interference, which I really appreciated. As we’d already spoken about, there were no cervical checks – it was pretty clear where I was in labor at every step! I barely saw them at all during labor except for the last 5 minutes… just the two heart rate checks, and I occasionally heard one come upstairs to just stand in a doorway and listen for a minute, or have a look at my face if it was convenient… but they didn’t talk really, and I usually wasn’t even aware of which one was present. I felt comforting to know they were checking in on me, but also comforting that there wasn’t anything they needed to do – that everything was going so well.
After two short and intense labors, i'm still in awe of anyone who has to labor for 10, 12, 24, 48 hours... this is plenty for me!
:
