Any other conflicted artist mamas out there?

[leavesarebrown]

Mothering is such a creative endeavor that I find my studio creativity at a stand still. I'm trying to be accepting about my current creative life, which I DO love, but I REALLY miss personal project time and wonder how other artistic mamas handle the time constraints of deliberate mothering. (Oh, then there's the whole other issue of the enviornmental unfriendliness of PAINT and other art materials!!!) When/ how do you find the time and or energy to continue painting?! Or do you just pack it up for the next however many years until the kids are out of the house at least part time? (Or maybe those mamas who do find time to paint aren't ONLINE ! )

[rainsmom]

Hi.......I miss painting and drawing and having that time too! I dont know what other moms do, but when I get a free moment, its not what Im reaching for cos I know Im going to be interupted.

There is a lifedrawing class at night at a local college here. Its not even a class, just a drop in where they have music and a model. Im going to start going. And in the fall, I hope to sign up for a class. I also occasionally make macrame jewelry. Its something I can start and stop pretty easily. Ive kept my drawing table up and ready to go.....somehow the inspiration is hard to come by.

[Starling]

Hi Idsmama,

Most of the issues you bring up have been on my mind perpetually since my DS was born, a little over 2 years ago. I still struggle with them, but here are some things that have helped.

Child care exchange. I teamed up with another artist mama who had a child close to DS's age. She takes both kids one morning a week while I work, and and I take both kids one morning while she works. It is a nice arrangement. It doesn't cost any money. I am comfortable with my friend looking after DS. I know and trust her. DS has gotten to know my friend's child, and now the two toddlers are quite close. A hard part of this approach is finding another artist mama whose schedule and children's ages match yours. But it may be do-able.

I also got a babysitter for two mornings a month. I don't think this is detrimental to my DS's secure attachment. The babysitter started when DS was about 1 year old. We eased into it, and DS took it in stride. It is nice to have that guaranteed time reserved for my art. Of course, this costs money. I found it to be worth the price, and I've been frugal elsewhere in order to afford the babysitter.

That is how I've adressed the practical time concerns. As for marshalling my own inner resources, that has also been a challence. I sometimes feel too tired or harried or scattered to do my best work (or any work) when I have the time. I just decided to plunge in. I try to accept lousy work and half-assed work as what I'll do while I'm finding my way back into my best work.

My work has also changed in ways I never anticipated. My being a mother "shows up" in my work now. It was a nice surprise!

Well, gotta go. Gotta get to work

[ShariMama]

I stopped painting with my first pregnancy three years ago. I used oils and encaustic, which requires dry pigments, and had a real addiction for all the heavy lead pigments. I tried swapping to acrylics, but wasn't happy with them (though I've seen painters use them beautifully). So, I went semi-insane for awhile without a creative outlet. Then my son was born, I didn't have time to paint, then I got pregnant for the second time.... Anyhow, I finally jumped mediums and picked up my camera again. I stilll miss painting, but I'll get back to it sooner or later. For now, photography, gardening and cooking satisfy my self-centered need for creativity while mama-ing satisfys my giving need for creativity. I can work with the kids some and I can work in very small bursts (15 minutes to two hours is common.) On top of it all, I can actually sell the photography, which is a nice perk given that I can't figure out how to make a day last 36 hours or how to get by without sleeping. This way, my job is my creative outlet and I use almost no childcare.

[mama2jonah]

Painting, drawing, what's that? I haven't done that in so long. Just recently I realized that I really am denying a huge part of who I am by treating my creative side as unimportant.

But at the same time, nobody is going to treat me to some alone time by watching my kids just so I can get creative. It's not something most people even know I do. But I know I need to somehow find the time, I'm simply not healthy without that outlet.

Just as an aside, one morning I was feeling achingly depressed, and I decided to sit down at the piano to play and sing. My mood instantly lifted and I felt light and happy the rest of the day. I have to stop denying myself that pleasure!

[bamboogrrrl]

I'm an artist/writer mama-trying-to-be. We're in the midst of TTC, and I've decided to save all the ovulation predictors for a future collage. Can't wait to write a print description for THAT one ("mixed media, encaustic and urine on wood").

Shari: Encaustic? Me too! Most folks have never even heard of that...

To meet more like-minded mamas, check out www.mamaphonic.com to find more of your art mama tribe. Everyone is going through the same stuff...

[seedgirl]

I hear you. Its really hard to get time to create. However, Ive found, amazingly, that since my twins were bnorn I have either more time or more dedication to my sanity time. When my eldest was born I dropped everything.

Our new house has a studio (old garage) and it helps top have my stuff set up somewhere other than my bedroom. Better for me and safer for the kids. Is this remotely possible for you?

[zinemama]

I'm a writer, constantly trying find to be creative. I had it going pretty well with a toddler who took 2 hour naps, during which I worked on my zine. It was great to have that predictable time every day. Then he stopped napping and I had a baby. Now, even if the baby's sleeping, I still have the toddler ready for action. It can be very frustrating. My folks are nearby and give me a break twice a week, but the work goes so much more slowly. I find myself writing in my head a lot, and hoping those carefully crafted sentences will still be in my memory when I get some writing time. Sigh

[leavesarebrown]

Well it's nice to know there are other AP artist mommies out there. Just had a conversation w/ a mom who is another artist in hiding whose sis has more formal art training than I do and asked if she thinks her sis would be interested in teaching some private painting sessions. This friend said she would actually like to paint more, too. So maybe the three of us will start getting together--but that's 8 kids between us to interrupt what we're trying to do. One of my big blocks is group work (hence avoidance of classes as a set aside time to get stuff done)...

I went to some studio/galleries w/ my sis and kids last Friday for inspiration. I have tried to set up a little corner in my bedroom, but we are VERY space crunched (2 bedroom/2 level townhouse, 2 kids). My dream house as a HUGE studio. I'm not trying to do anything more toxic than acrylics because of concern about my kids getting into it--especially my 3 1/2 yr old. My dh is encouraging but still unintentionally trivializes art-making w comments like "It's nice that you can do that sort of thing "when I insisted that I was going to try to carve out time to produce at least ONE DRAWING that particular day... --as if art is a hobby or leisure activity to me.

I've worked through Artists' Way books also for inspiration, and recently found another book called Purple Mommy that's great. Still, getting to regular production is the challenge. Keep the suggestions and ideas coming!

[ShariMama]

Hey bamboogrrl, Do you know about R&F Encaustics? I think they're in New York, if I remember right. It's really nice to find someone else working in encaustic. I'd love to swap info.

Idsmama, Sounds like you have a great support network developing. I'd kill to hook up with some other artmoms. I've been thinking that once my kids are a little older, it would be great to do some plein air work. Not really my style in the past, but fun and a good exercise at the very least. With all eight kids, it seems like a good, safe, outdoor location might be a chance for you all to work. Seems too like you could distance yourself from the others enough to avoid the groupwork thing without being antisocial. Just a thought.

I've been thinking about this topic since I ran across this thread. I've got all kinds of philosophical rants that I'll spare you all right now. It's just so refreshing to know there are others like me out there! I'm curious though, do you guys find that your significant other understands the artistic bind that mommying puts you in? I battle it with my hubby. He kind of gets it, and he really tries to help. But I'm beginning to think that it's not possible to really "get it" if you aren't an artist and a primary caregiver. I just get really peeved when we talk about it. Not really fair, but irritating nonetheless. Anyone else? If so, any suggestions/wisdom?

[bamboogrrrl]

Shari: I live about 15 minutes from R&F Encaustics! I've even shown my work there. I work intuitively with the materials (i.e. I'm not really into the minute chemistry of it all), but a good friend and my artists' book collaborator teaches at R&F so I can always ask her questions. I also studied encaustic painting with the Gallery Director at R&F, whose work I completely admire. I'd love to find out what kind of artwork you do! Mine is lots of collage and text under layers of wax, with metal objects set into the wax. I try to work as subtlely as I can, and the wax lets me do just that. Encaustic has always fascinated me, but I think I really checked it out after seeing cres of encaustic at the Jasper Johns retro. at MOMA a bunch of years ago. I was awarded a 10 day artist residency this summer for writing, but I hope to be able to get some work done in encaustic too.

On a separate tangent...dh is sympathetic to my artwork, in a laissez faire kinda way. It doesn't really register in his awareness, unless I have an opening or get work published, and then he beams. But he also does not try to arrange life to make my art happen. He has his automotive restoration work, and I write and make art. I hope the sympathy continues should we spawn. Maybe we've created a good foundation for it to continue. Time will tell. But sometimes I feel like we need a wife: someone to take care of all the life details that woman traditionally take care of, because we are both so busy. It hard to have a money making job, make art and write, and not live in squalor. Virginia Woolf had her husband Leonard, but the question is: would Leonard have taken care of their little Woolfs if they had them so Virginia could have continued to write? We all need a Leonard...

[ShariMama]

Bamboogrrl, you took the words right out of my mouth. Too bad we're on opposite coasts. I could use a cupofcoffeeandagoodbitchsession girlfriend nearby!

If you figure out how to get a wife for a couple, let me know!

I'd love to hear more about your work. It sounds like we're into similar aesthetics. I'll PM you when I get a few minutes to rub together.

[leavesarebrown]

another wife

Hmm... another wife might sound tempting at face value, but my family history (Mormon polygamous ancestors) tells otherwise. Sure there were benefits as far as maternal and household tasks were concerned. But practicing polygamy was not a walk in the park for ANYONE involved. And even devout Mormons were relieved when its practice was discontinued. But a housekeeper (preferably male) would be great! Every family oughta have an Alice (like the Brady Bunch).

Incidentally, I'm carving out studio space in the basement/ dungeon. Any suggestions for LIGHT?!

[leafylady]

Go to www.artistmoms.com
There is a yahoo list that you can sign up on. It's pretty slow right now and could use a few griping creative mommies

I'm an artist blacksmith. My husband gets long mornings in the studio. I seem to end up with short afternoons: . I can get a lot done when I insist on it and use my time wisely. It's tough and can be very frustrating.

[leavesarebrown]

THANKS for the link to artist moms! That's great!

Well, my art table and supplies are set up downstairs... Tacked a few inspirational items to the bare wall behind it, and bought more supplies. Actually even painted this week! Wahoo! Making progress! Oh, and came home w/ a boatload of new art books, too. Now just to get through my husband replumbing our house! Eek!! Talk about take all the available free time!

[Serenity~Serenade]

Singer/songwriter mama here. I am really in need of some recording studio time....but money is tight and a sitter for 5 kids...welll...

I miss my music!

[leavesarebrown]

How much studio time do you need in a chunk to get anything accomplished?

[ShariMama]

Ahhhh, time! This is the problem. At least for me.

For me to paint again, I need a minimum of three to four hours to get started. Two might due once I've gotten past making the bad art after a hiatus. And THERE is the reason I haven't painted since the kids were born. I don't know about the rest of you, but I have precious few blocks of time that big and the few I have always seem to go to something that is more immediate (like making a living or fixing important things that are broken...)

Since I've switched media (photography) I can squeeze a little creativity into an hour, but even that seems to be difficult to find.

[leafylady]

I also need time. But when necessary, I have learned to jump in and out of art focus. I had to, or I'd never finish projects. Not long after my daughter was born, last summer, I had to finish 2 projects. We lived next door to our studio. My husband would watch the kids, but I had to stop every 45 minutes and spend about 15-30 minutes nursing and comforting. So I really had to learn to get my mind back into the studio work, fast.

I do metalwork, not paintings. But this comes to mind. At this point, you have to let go of the idea of creating One big painting, working from one finished piece to another. If you only have 15 minute time bits to work in- I'd say get a nice sketchbook, a set of dry watercolors and a water brush pen to keep with the watercolors. Then whenever you can snatch 15 minutes, spend it sketching with watercolors, whatever is in front of you- diaper, flower, chair, laundry. Write notes too, with the watercolors. By using the water brush, you don't need to set up a selection of brushes and that messy cup of water. It's all fairly dry, except the water coming through the brush. It's easy to close up the box, the book and water brush pen.

You can find the brush pens I am talking about at http://www.stampandgo.com/cartBLENDERS.html

[leafylady]

another thought. Sometimes I have had to give up the feeling of accomplishment in a single session. I might have to work 20 different one hour sessions before I actually accomplish something. If I waited until I could feel accomplishment, I'd never get anything started, let alone done.