Here's a update for our tripod. Russ is one already!! His birthday was bittersweet. I am happy he is growing well, thriving in fact, and has such a wonderful personality. But, his birthday was a reminder of his birth which did not go as planned. I labored at home for 43 hours and had to transfer because he was not moving down the birth canal. I had to have a c-section; which still breaks my heart. I know, I know he couldn't have been born vaginally b/c of the way he was situated in the womb, but it still sucks he was born via c-section and I didn't get to see/hold/kiss/touch/smell him until he was THREE hours old b/c of the hospitals policy on moms who have had anesthesia being in recovery for 3 hours.
What this all comes down to is I feel like the only reason I entertain the idea of another baby is b/c I want another shot at birthing at home and having a vaginal birth. That is NOT a reason to have a baby but it doesn't stop me from thinking about it ocassionally. I keep in touch with one of my midwifes and told her how I've been feeling about the birth lately and she suggested we reinact the birth and talk over if we could have done anything different to change Russ' position. I hope that will help bring me closure.
My husband is secure with our decision to have one; which is good b/c it grounds me and makes me remember why we want Russ to be an only.
well this has become a rant, i am sure you will all understand where I am coming from.
thanks for listening.