Pto

[kewb]

I am on the board of the PTO for my childrens elementary school for the upcoming school year. The new board will be taking over responsibility in the next month. We think it is time for some changes. We want to make more of an effort to reach new parents and working parents in the school and try to increase parental involvement overall. I think our PTO has gotten a bit of a cliquish reputation.

What kind of things would you want to see your PTO doing in this area? A lot of the schools here have a new mom tea at the beginning of the year. I don;t want to do that because working moms usually can not attend. I was thinking of maybe having a wine and cheese social (in one of our homes-not school property) at the beginning of the school year. Would you like something like that?

Any other suggestions on what you would like your PTO to be doing?

[sebandg'smama]

This subject is very interesting to me as well. So I'll interested in any input you recieve.

My frustration with our PTO is that it is always the same handful of mothers. Where are the fathers?

I do like your wine and cheese idea. The best meeting I ever attended was an emergency fundraising meeting at someone's house, where we had nice drinks and food.

[UUMom]

I wouldn't go to a wne and cheese thing, but I do like the morning coffee meets. It's right when school starts, at 8, and they don't last more than an hour. My dh has attended some of these as it's so easy and fast.

A night thing at someone house would turn me off. I can see how some people would like them, but I don't think alcohol and meetings in personal homes at night is something I would want from a PTO.

Now, I do think a fundraising or captial campaign meeting at someone's home makes sense.

[kewb]

Can you elaborate a little of why a night thing would turn you off? The wine and cheese is a social gathering not a meeting. It would just be an opportunity for parents to meet each other. The general meetings are held at the school.

[UUMom]

I wouldn't feel comfortable with that level of intimacy for PTO meetings. I like breakfasts and lunch things, however. I've been on the PTO off and on for over 10 years, and we've never done a night thing for just adults. There have been skate nights, a pasta family supper at school on a Thursday night, and they do movie nights, where they show an old film, and people bring blankets and picnic suppers (I guess I see a wine and cheese event at night as cutting into family time as well). I've gone a couple of times to people's homes to work on projects and fundraisers, however. But they aren't party gatherings, although they are social.

I've always liked the morning meet and greets. You run in for a hour in the morning, have some coffee, a muffin and then you go to work. It's a lot less fussy and intimate than a wine thing at a person's home. You don't have to arrange for child care, plus, you get a lot more parents who can handle an hour with some coffee rather than make a night of it and get dressed up after a long work day etc.

But that's just *me*. I am sure there are other people who would love the wine and cheese night thing.

ETA-- I remember that they did do an evening event! It was at a club abd there was dancing, wine and dinner. I didn't go, but I heard it was very nice, although not hugely attended. But that was a fundraiser...

Maybe do a variety of things for a variety of needs/styles.

[Twocoolboys]

I'm pretty active in our PTO, though not on the board (and no intention of ever being - lol). I would love a morning coffee hour, but our school has all of the PTO meetings in the evening. They are once a month and they rotate between Mon and Tues night so that anyone who has an outstanding commitment on one night or the other can make it to every other meeting. Child care is provided at our meetings (by the local girl scouts), so any one who wants to can go.

I think ours is actually pretty well run, though it does tend to be clique-ish as well. I know a lot of people who don't go because of the preceived clique, and, honestly, that was why I didn't go to meetings much in the first two years. I go most of the time this year though. I decided that I have always wanted to be involved in the school and I am not going to let some group of women that I don't know evil eye me out of it - lol. I have always volunteered for committees and been involved that way even when I wasn't going to meetings. Our PTO sends out a newsletter with the info that is talked about at the meetings, so there is still lots of opportunity to get involved.

For those of you that have morning meetings, do any teachers go? We have a decent turnout of teachers at our meetings in the evening. I would think mornings would exclude them.

[kewb]

We have 2 teacher representatives who attend the monthly meeting. Our general meeting is the first Tuesday evening of the month and the local highschool provides the babysitters through there early childhood education department. I like your idea of alternating the night. Our meeting minutes are posted on our school website but I don't think the school promotes the website enough and a lot of people don't realize we have it.

[kewb]

I think I can hear crickets in here. Come on ladies, I was hoping for more help then this.

[lauren]

I"d be o.k. with the wine and cheese social. However, when I first sent my children to school I had this idea that the PTO should actually be a link between parents and teachers. It doesn't seem to be that way at our school. There is very little knowledge shared about what the teachers are up to, curriculum changes, etc., and the group only seems to do fundraising, boxtops, etc.

I was never very drawn to it, and I'm not really sure what would make me feel more interested. I am a very busy working mom, so anything I do has really got to be worth my while.

Thanks for thinking of working parents in your planning. Around here in our PTO that is not the case.

[UUMom]

Originally Posted by kewb

I think I can hear crickets in here. Come on ladies, I was hoping for more help then this.

[LiamnEmma]

See, the morning thing doesn't work for me because as a WOHM, I drop my kids off at the school-aged care long before school begins. Our board meetings are in the evenings. One thing I believe about PTO/PTA (we're PTA here) is that it is generally a self-selecting group and that makes it hard for some people. I chose to go, I chose to put myself out there and I was deeply ensconced within the first year, but what made that possible was a very open group of board members at that time, who immediately asked me to help with various committees and events--things I could do at night or on weekends. It probably helped that I entered already knowing two members of the board (although I didn't realize they were members until I walked in the doors), but here are some things I think pull parents in;

• Monthly calendar of events sent home
• Monthly newsletter sent home telling of events--past and upcoming (this could be coupled with the calendar)
• Telephone numbers and names of all board members and committee chairs go home for parents to contact
• Every meeting with a new face ensures an around the table meet and greet--with introductions, welcomes, and offers to give the new face a job.

We regularly discuss amongst ourselves who we can bring in to help us. Since we have children of varying ages, we have some variability in terms of parents we think might be helpful. Mostly what I think is that you need to make serious effort to be welcoming if a new face comes in. But not everyone will get you (in the larger, group sense of you). There was one month a parent showed up and in the middle of what I thought was a fun, friendly meeting, got up and said, "Well, I just wanted to see what this was about. I don't think this is for me." She seemed highly offended by something or someone. Not sure what it was about. Whatever. I see her around the campus and she seems friendly enough but solitary. So a PTA/PTO cannot be all things to all people.

I personally enjoy being involved in it.

[kewb]

Originally Posted by lauren

However, when I first sent my children to school I had this idea that the PTO should actually be a link between parents and teachers. It doesn't seem to be that way at our school. There is very little knowledge shared about what the teachers are up to, curriculum changes, etc., and the group only seems to do fundraising, boxtops, etc..

I had that same idea. I still think it should be like that and I am hoping that I can start steering the ship that way. Our Principal in the biggest obstacle I see here. Our group seems to dedicate all its time to fundraising. Although we are trying to raise funds for new playground equipment. That is a huge expense. The T in our PTO is pretty weak at our school. The teachers in the school don't even pay the $10 membership fee to be a member. We have 2 teacher representatives who come to the general meetings but they don't contribute. Another thing I want to change.

Originally Posted by lauren

Thanks for thinking of working parents in your planning. Around here in our PTO that is not the case.

I am a WOHM and other then our night time meetings there are no concessions to working parents. This coming year our President is a WOHM and she and I are hoping we can make some changes here to. One of our past Presidents was commenting about how to reach those parents you never see. I told him you might want to be available during the before and after care hours. You would think I had just invented sliced bread.

[kewb]

I have also put myself on the committee to explore healthy fundraising ideas. I, for one, am sick of the overpriced wrapping paper. I usually make a donation in the amount I would have spent on overpriced junk.

[ecoteat]

My school's PTF (parents, teachers, and friends) is very active and involved with the school. Every fall they host a back to school barbeque one evening at school during the first week or two. Nearly everyone in the school--students, teachers, parents, grandparents--goes; it is a big deal and everyone looks forward to it. Later in the year they do a variety show for a fundraiser, which is also a huge social/networking event. I know my school is unusual (preK-8 with 65 kids and an annual volunteer to student ratio of 3:1) but the barbeque is a great way to get families to get together and talk.

[EFmom]

I"d be o.k. with the wine and cheese social. However, when I first sent my children to school I had this idea that the PTO should actually be a link between parents and teachers. It doesn't seem to be that way at our school. There is very little knowledge shared about what the teachers are up to, curriculum changes, etc., and the group only seems to do fundraising, boxtops, etc.

Yup. Ours is all fundraising all the time. And dreadful fundraising at that. If there was any way to broaden the charge to include input on school policies, curriculum, etc., I'd be much more enthusiastic. I'm not going to head up another opportunity to sell crap for corporate America.

I WOHM, and early morning meetings are a non-starter for me. Evening events are much better. I don't really want to waste my time on events to socialize with other parents, however. There would have to be a practical side to the event before I'd attend. Having child care would be a huge benefit--our meetings are always no kids allowed, which cuts out many potential participants.

My frustration with our PTO is that it is always the same handful of mothers. Where are the fathers?

So is ours, and I know why. It is very cliquish, and new people are not made to feel welcome. It is definitely the ladies who lunch crowd. My dh tried to get involved and they went out of their way to make him unwelcome.

[kewb]

Thanks for all your input. I am glad I am not alone on some of my feelings on what the PTO is and what it could be.

It is unfortunate that so much energy is spent on fundraising. It is unfortunate that it is so needed. So much has been cut from the school budget (at least where I am) that in order to keep things funds need to be raised.