He lived 5 days. I spent every minute I could of those five days right by his side....loving him..memorizing him..willing him to live. Even tho he was born early and w/a heart defect..it just NEVER occurred to me that we wouldn't bring him home. I just knew he'd be ok..we had waited so long for our son.
Austin was so little. I remember being shocked by his size. I knew he was early and would be very small..I had seen preemies before....but when it is your child it is something else altogether. He was such a fighter! I was/am so proud of my little boy. I treasure our short time together. I can still see him and feel him. There are even times that I a certain smell will take me back to him. It still hurts just as tho I lost him yesterday..but it also feels like eternity since I last held him.
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I feel so blessed to be Austin's momma. He's my perfect beautiful angel.
We went to visit him today..it was nice to spend a few minutes w/my son. My oldest dd wanted to make him a bday cake..so we did that. And I lit his candle this morning..so it's been burning all day. It's been hard tho because I'm pg again this yr on his bday..as I've only been one other time..and I remember it being just as difficult then. It is such a physical reminder of being pg w/him..him growing w/in..feeling him move..just being alive and having that special time w/him. Very bittersweet memories! All in all tho it's been a peaceful day..terribly difficult and sad..but I felt him w/us..and felt a sense of peace surrounding us.
Happy birthday Austin!
Momma & Daddy love you so so much. We'll continue to hold you in our hearts until we can hold you in our arms again.
Austin was so little. I remember being shocked by his size. I knew he was early and would be very small..I had seen preemies before....but when it is your child it is something else altogether. He was such a fighter! I was/am so proud of my little boy. I treasure our short time together. I can still see him and feel him. There are even times that I a certain smell will take me back to him. It still hurts just as tho I lost him yesterday..but it also feels like eternity since I last held him.
:I feel so blessed to be Austin's momma. He's my perfect beautiful angel.
We went to visit him today..it was nice to spend a few minutes w/my son. My oldest dd wanted to make him a bday cake..so we did that. And I lit his candle this morning..so it's been burning all day. It's been hard tho because I'm pg again this yr on his bday..as I've only been one other time..and I remember it being just as difficult then. It is such a physical reminder of being pg w/him..him growing w/in..feeling him move..just being alive and having that special time w/him. Very bittersweet memories! All in all tho it's been a peaceful day..terribly difficult and sad..but I felt him w/us..and felt a sense of peace surrounding us.
Happy birthday Austin!Momma & Daddy love you so so much. We'll continue to hold you in our hearts until we can hold you in our arms again.
