Even here at MDC where people tend to be a little more educated about the physiological process, I hear this a lot. I thought it myself back when I had my first, but I didn't think why that might be, it was just because "that's the way it is". In other words, what I had been told. And then I thought something was wrong with me because I didn't feel the urge to push throughout that whole managed second stage -- not once. It was supposedly "normal", though, in that it took two hours to push my baby out.
To me, this seems on a par with the myth that episiotomies prevent tears. I can't believe that in this supposedly scientific age, people still believe this. It's just very frustrating because of how much harm it has the potential to cause. My voluntary (guided) second stage was awful. Okay, compared to lying on my back trying to not yell out (another great myth about what birth is supposed to be like) during excruciating contractions, it was a little better, at least I got to do something with that energy (since I wasn't allowed to move around and bellow) and know we were progressing toward something. But it was horrendously hard on my body and in itself caused injury, and it was hard on my psyche too as I was led to believe that I wasn't doing it "right" and if I only focused more or were a stronger person, it would go faster and be easier on me.
I'm still angry thinking about it (this was ten years ago) because it wasn't true. In reality, my body simpy wasn't ready. (Nor was I in a position conducive to helping it get ready.) I could have spared myself that whole two hours of ridiculous effort and indignity and hurt to my body if I'd just moved around and bellowed like I felt like instead of trying to force the baby out at some artificially chosen time (and risking distress to him in the process.)
"Full dilation" does not mean the body is ready for the baby to emerge. It means that one little part of it is ready. It doesn't mean that everything else is ready. When all is ready, the body will make it happen; there will be no mistaking or avoiding it. And it will be comparatively quicker easier and safer than if voluntary pushing had started earlier. So why are women still routinely told to push before then?
To me, this seems on a par with the myth that episiotomies prevent tears. I can't believe that in this supposedly scientific age, people still believe this. It's just very frustrating because of how much harm it has the potential to cause. My voluntary (guided) second stage was awful. Okay, compared to lying on my back trying to not yell out (another great myth about what birth is supposed to be like) during excruciating contractions, it was a little better, at least I got to do something with that energy (since I wasn't allowed to move around and bellow) and know we were progressing toward something. But it was horrendously hard on my body and in itself caused injury, and it was hard on my psyche too as I was led to believe that I wasn't doing it "right" and if I only focused more or were a stronger person, it would go faster and be easier on me.
I'm still angry thinking about it (this was ten years ago) because it wasn't true. In reality, my body simpy wasn't ready. (Nor was I in a position conducive to helping it get ready.) I could have spared myself that whole two hours of ridiculous effort and indignity and hurt to my body if I'd just moved around and bellowed like I felt like instead of trying to force the baby out at some artificially chosen time (and risking distress to him in the process.)
"Full dilation" does not mean the body is ready for the baby to emerge. It means that one little part of it is ready. It doesn't mean that everything else is ready. When all is ready, the body will make it happen; there will be no mistaking or avoiding it. And it will be comparatively quicker easier and safer than if voluntary pushing had started earlier. So why are women still routinely told to push before then?
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It's wonderful to hear that there are physicians out there who attend lovingly and non-interventively to the women who have hired them. Sadly, this is not the norm.
cuz I was concentrating so much). We worked as a team, my nurses were so great helping me change position and push and helped me take advantage of my urges there.
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