C/S Scheduled -- can I get some advice from other c/s mamas?

[heathenmom]

I'm still trying to wrap my head around this, but our birth plans in the last 2 days have switched from an unassisted waterbirth to a scheduled c/s. I cried so much yesterday that my eyes were literally swollen shut this morning. I cannot keep this up and desperately need to find some light at the end of this tunnel before I make myself sick. If you've been through a section, can you help me? Please give me your best tips for:
* preparing for the section (and preparing my dh & 2 y/o dd)
* helping make recovery as smooth as possible
* staving off ppd (didn't have it with #1, but considering how this pregnancy has gone am trying to prepare myself for it this go-round)
* establishing a solid bf'ing relationship under difficult circumstances (I had a lot of supply issues with #1)

On an ironic note, the mw scheduled the c/s for 4/18 ... my maternal grandmother's birthday.

[Debstmomy]

Elizabeth first off I know this is not what you planned & it is disappointing. I would suggest going to the birth & beyond natural c-sec sticky. Also there is a c-sec tribe in Finding your tribe. You will find many positive stories (do not read the yucky ones. Try to only have positive images for now.) You can have an empowering c-sec. You need to work with your OB on this. If you would like, I can email you my c-sec birth plan for ideas. On The Fence has one too, & it is posted.
On the BF, just because you are having a c-sec, does not mean it will be difficult. Some c-sec moms have a much easier time than some vag delivery moms. PM me if you would like to talk about this more.
Another

[UltimateSerj]

i just want to give you big hugs!! i am sorry things arn't going to be the way you wanted them to be. i hope you can make the best out of this situation, make sure to have Dh advocate for you and baby the whole stay, make sure he demands you have the baby as soon as possible and have him ready to hold her and help you get her nursing.


Good luck

[ladybug13]

(((hugs))) I'm so sorry that your plans are changing so much. I know how hard it is to accept having to have a c-section after desperately wanting a natural childbirth. Though I am thankful we live in an age where medical advances allow intervention to avoid tragic outcomes, I do mourn never ever having a vaginal/natural childbirth. That being said, I truly believe that it's not about our experience, it's about getting our babies here safe. I joke that these kinds of interruptions and changes in plans are just the start of what having children does to our lives.

I just had my 3rd c-section and I can share with you a few tidbits of what I've learned through my journies.

1. Make sure you understand the entire procedure. Make someone go through it with you several times and make sure you know who is going to be in the OR with you. This will help familiarize you in a setting that can be VERY overwhelming.

2. DO NOT FAULT YOURSELF!!!!! There is nothing to feel guilty about. You are doing the best you can under the circumstances and you have to accept that sometimes things do not go as planned.

3. Make sure your nurses know how important nursing is to you. I was nursing my DD last week within 45 minutes of her birth. She was very wide awake and able to latch. I think a lot of the nay-sayers about nursing after a c-section don't know what they're talking about!

4. Get up and walking as soon as you can!!! This will help your recovery go a lot smoother.

5. Do not try to be a champion/hero by avoiding the pain meds. You need to be gentle on your body and take care of your pain. Minimizing pain management will only prolong your recovery.

My DS responded fairly well to me after my c-section. He is 2.5 and a big boy so I cannot lift him at all. He's been dealing fairly well. About two hours after my c-section, he hopped in bed with me and our new baby. It was very intimate and special!

As for the PPD, I don't have any input on this for you. I suffered from major baby blues immediately after the birth of DS and then had slight PPD for months, but this time around, I feel totally different. I'm not sure where the break is but I am not questioning it... just going with it. If you do start to feel like you're hitting the PPD highway, do not be afraid to speak up. You can talk to dh beforehand and make sure he is keeping an eye on you... and that he will speak up on your behalf if needed.

I really wish you the best with your c-section. As was previously mentioned, having a c-section does not mean you are going to have a bad experience. It's just a different way to have your baby.... a cesarean BIRTH. Try to stay as positive as you can and do as much as you can to ensure a supportive team of family, friends and medical staff surrounding you!

(also, under my thread introducting my DD, I included a link to pictures. There are several from our cesarean birth including if you're interested)

[crunchymomof2]

I hope you are able to plan things in the best way for you guys. I wanted to post a link to the ICAN white pages. There are a couple things you might want to look at. About family centered c/s and post partum recovery and breastfeeding and ppd.

http://www.ican-online.org/resources...pers/index.php

[CorbinsMama]

I too am sorry that things aren't going the way you had hoped. I'm sure that's very difficult to cope with. I hope you can concentrate on the fact that your baby will be born and will be in your arms, safe and healthy, soon.

I had an emergency c-sec with my son. It wasn't what I had hoped for, but everyone came out safely and DS nursed immediately. He was awake and alert, so much so that our ped commented on how wonderfully alert he was. That hasn't stopped either!

I am having DD by c-sec again in one week. Because of the stories I have read on the other threads mentioned above, I feel better and more empowered about this experience. Everyone has already given you wonderful, wise advice that I can only just nod along with. I will share with you my birth plan. This has been reviewed and approved by my OB so it ought to be things that most OBs would go along with.

I wish you all the best and hope that you can find the positive in this experience. Here's the birth plan:

Megan _____’s Birth Plan, April 2007

Before the Birth
• We prefer that Kevin be present for as much pre-surgery preparation as possible.
• Megan does not want any preoperative “calming” medications administered.
• Megan would like the catheter inserted after anesthesia is given.

During the Birth
• We would like Kevin to be in the operating room before surgery begins and be present for the birth.
• We would like to have the procedure described to us as it progresses.
• Megan does not want to have her arms strapped down.
• We do not want forceps or vacuum extractor to be used to deliver Baby, unless there is an emergency.

After the Birth
• I understand that it is routine to administer antibiotic drops or ointment, such as erythromycin, to newborn baby's eyes to protect against gonorrhea and chlamydia, as well as other more common bacterial infections. I have tested negative for these diseases, and choose to decline this treatment on behalf of my baby.
• We consent to the administration of oral vitamin K (not injectable).
• We do not want any other vaccinations given to Baby in the hospital, including Hepatitis B.
• We request that Baby not go to the nursery after delivery. Instead, we request that she stay in the operating room with Megan, wrapped in warm blankets, held by Kevin, unless there is a significant medical reason for her to go to the nursery or NICU.
• We request that our son, family, and friends present be able to see Baby in our postpartum room as soon as possible.
• We would like to begin breastfeeding Baby as soon as possible after birth (preferably in the recovery room).
• Megan does not want Vicodin and prefers Percoset, if necessary. (Vicodin gives me terrible nightmares.)
• We request that the catheter be removed as soon as Megan is able to walk to the bathroom.
• Megan would like to shower as soon as she is able.
• We request that Megan be allowed to eat, after the delivery, as her body requests, without restrictions.
• Megan and Kevin request that one of them be present for all exams, tests, and procedures done on Baby.
• We prefer that Baby stay in the room with us at all times, unless there is an emergency. Please perform all procedures and/or pediatric checks in our room.
• Our son Corbin is eagerly awaiting the arrival of his new baby sister, and we request that he be able to visit (under adult supervision, of course) as much as possible.

If Baby Requires Care in the Nursery
• If Baby needs any immediate medical attention and must leave the operating room or recovery, Kevin will accompany her to the nursery or any medical facility she may be transferred to.
• We plan to breastfeed Baby exclusively. Therefore, please do not offer her a pacifier or anything by bottle, including glucose water and/or formula.
• If there are concerns regarding breastfeeding and/or supplementation, advice will be sought from a lactation consultant before decisions on feeding are made.
• If Baby is able to suck, all feedings will be done at breast.
• In the event Baby needs medical attention after delivery and cannot breastfeed, we prefer that she be given mom’s expressed breast milk.
• We would appreciate being included in all discussions and decisions regarding our baby’s care. We understand that in an emergency situation this may not always be possible.
• If Baby must be in the nursery or NICU, Megan would like to visit her as soon as possible.
• Please do not perform any non-emergency procedures (such as hearing tests, weighing, measuring) on Baby without Megan or Kevin giving consent.

[MommytoTwo]

I am so sorry..I have had 2 c-sections. One thing that REALLY helped is having the anes. place a mirror so I could watch DD come out. Also, there was no idle chatter during her birth -everything was either talking to the other people about the surgery (needing instruments, etc) or directly to me about the birth. With DS (my first) the whole team was chatting about their weekend plans. IT doesnt sound like much but it affected me for years. Still does.

* preparing for the section (and preparing my dh & 2 y/o dd)
-Tell your DD that you will have a boo-boo on your tummy and you wont be able to pick her up but she can climb up and snuggle. Show her the boo-boo.

* helping make recovery as smooth as possible
TAKE THE PAIN MEDS on time. Dont wait to see how you feel. I took none with DS and took them on time for several days with DD and it made a big difference.

* staving off ppd (didn't have it with #1, but considering how this pregnancy has gone am trying to prepare myself for it this go-round)
I had it both times so I cant help you there

* establishing a solid bf'ing relationship under difficult circumstances
Nurse ASAP in recovery. Have your DH be your advocate to get baby to you asap. WIth DS they took him to the nursery and I didnt see him until 4 hours later, and then only for 5 min on the way to the NICU. I knew with DD if I didnt have her immediately I would go mad and DH was SO on top of the nurses to get her to me. I firmly believe they will just stick the baby in the warmer and tend to other things unless you are up their butts.


GOOD LUCK!

[krismarie]

[13Sandals]

heathenmom - i'm thinking of you. so sorry to hear that things aren't going as planned. you deserve to grieve the birth you wanted and have support in that. so cry on mama. don't let anyone tell you you are being selfish for grieving.

[MonkeyPrincess]

No advice, just wanted to let you know I'll be thinking of you and hoping you have a positive birth experience, even if its not what you planned. Hugs, momma.

[frenchie]

Originally Posted by CorbinsMama

I too am sorry that things aren't going the way you had hoped. I'm sure that's very difficult to cope with. I hope you can concentrate on the fact that your baby will be born and will be in your arms, safe and healthy, soon.

I had an emergency c-sec with my son. It wasn't what I had hoped for, but everyone came out safely and DS nursed immediately. He was awake and alert, so much so that our ped commented on how wonderfully alert he was. That hasn't stopped either!

I am having DD by c-sec again in one week. Because of the stories I have read on the other threads mentioned above, I feel better and more empowered about this experience. Everyone has already given you wonderful, wise advice that I can only just nod along with.

^^^^^^Exactly what she said^^^^^^

[katytheprincess2]

First off positive vibes to you!

Okay some tips on making this as smooth as possiable. First off let the nurses know before they take you back to the OR that you wish to breastfeed as soon as you get to the recovery room. My DH has always been allowed to leave the OR with the baby and make sure that they go by my wishes (no formula, water ect) and that has put me at ease each time. I explained to my 3 year old and will continue that mommy will have a "big owie" after the doctors get the baby out of my belly to help him deal with the fact I may be in too much pain to pick him up or hold him right away and so he will have some kind of understanding why I will be in bed when he comes to visit me at the hospital. I have found with both my sections my best preperation tool was to keep telling myself that everything is going to be okay and keep putting that positive spin on it. Give yourself time to get over the grief of not having the birth you have invisioned! You have every right to feel that way!
With the PPD issue..I have a history of that myself. I am aware of this so at the first sign of it returning I am going to seek help from my family doctor who has treated me in the past. I think the best thing with PPD is to be aware of it and seek whatever course of help you feel is best for you.

(((Hugs))) to you mama! My first delivery was vaginal and went perfect so when it came time to have my second child and I was informed that I would have to have a c-section I was devasted. I understand completely how dissappointed you must feel!

[wombatclay]

Oh heathenmom...I'm sorry. (I'm peaking from the June DDC, but since I know you from other threads and all....)

I had a totally unwanted c/s with DD and there are lots of things (mentioned in this thread!) that you can do to make a c/s more like the birth you deserve. The c/s support sticky mentioned above is over at http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=401645 and it has a lot if ideas, birth plans, coping ideas, recovery and breastfeeding ideas for after surgery, etc.

One thing that isn't in that sticky (and could be TMI) is you may want to send someone to a pharmacy or medical supply store to pick up a "toilet topper". I don't know what the "real" name is, but it fits on top of the toilet and makes it so you don't have to bend as much to get on or off. This was probably the nicest thing ever once I got home since I hadn't ever realized just how much you have to "bend" in the middle to get on and off the toilet!

I also found that my moby wrap worked great as a "belly splint" and held dd in such a way that my belly was supported, she wasn't wiggling against anything that was "ouch", and with her in a more "upright" position I didn't have to bend as much when breastfeeding. I left it on most of the time, even when I wasn't holding dd, since it was so comfy and supportive!

Scar massage is a wonderful thing (there are a few links and books in the sticky) and you can start as soon as the skin is healed. It can speed healing, prevent or reduce adhesions, and a lot of OBs don't know a lot about it so they don't always mention it. And ask for steri strips over the closure...they can also help prevent adhesions and some studies show they speed healing by gently massaging the tissue every time you move.

Also, some mamas don't need the medications that are offered after the surgery, but I did. Especially in those first few days it's important that you be comfortable enough to walk, and hold your babe, and breastfeed...so don't feel bad is you need to take the medication! Take them early and often so that you stay mobile and comfortable and as relaxed as possible. If you don't need them, great! But don't let anyone make you feel bad if you decide you want them. You need your strength and energy and focus and adding surgical pain on top of that is NOT going to help.

And gas and constipation are really common after any ab surgery, and c/s is no different. Pick up some Gas-X and Colace (they'll be giving you this at the hospital, but it's an over the counter med) and stock up on natural gas/constipation remedies as well. I eventually had to resort to mineral oil mixed into chocolate pudding, but other mamas have luck with less "drastic" measures.

I'm sooooo sorry mama. Cry as much as you need to...this isn't a situation anyone wants, and it's certainly not the birth any mama dreams of, so go ahead and mourn. It might help with the post birth period as well if you can release some of this emotion before hand. Let everyone know you need extra support and maybe make a list of things that would be helpful or things you REALLY don't want anyone to say to you.

hugs again heathenmom...

[heathenmom]

I can't tell you how much y'all's support means to me. Thank you so much for the positive stories, tips, and advice. I'm still struggling, but at least now I can talk about it without bursting into tears every time. I'm getting there. I'm so grateful that my mw & ob gave us the space to come to terms with the situation and make our decision. They also didn't push TOO hard for us to schedule it sooner rather than later. We're literally in the middle of moving and wanted a little more time to get our new place ready.

We put together a birth plan, but I found some ideas in the ones that were posted so I think we'll be rewriting it. We're very lucky that we have a crunchy ped who all the nurses are scared of, so we shouldn't have a problem with our hands-off requests.

Thanks especially for the reminders to let dd know about my "big owie." She's a mama's-girl and we're worried that me not being able to pick her up, added to not being the baby girl anymore, moving into her big-girl bed, etc., will add up to her being resentful of the new baby.

MommytoTwo, you mentioned something that I'm not sure how or when to address: idle chatter in the OR. I don't want to come across as a bitch, but it really, really upsets me when people try to make light of a situation that is very serious to me. For instance, when the u/s tech initially told me that the baby was breech, she was making jokes about it and kidding me about scheduling my section. I was devastated at the news and asked her to please be more sensitive, as I did NOT find the news funny in the least. I can only imagine how I'll feel listening to them talk about their weekend plans or hospital gossip while I'm trying to cope with one of my worst fears come to life. How did you bring it up? Was it in your birth plan? Did you or your support folks talk to them beforehand? I really want to handle this right, without pissing anybody off.

Okay, I've got to go pack my bags, help dh install the car seat, and work on the laundry. :

[wombatclay]

Don't worry about their feelings...but...

I told the anesthesiologist, the nursing staff, and the OB performing the c/s (whom I'd never met before) that I REALLY didn't want anything disturbing my focus on my birth. I also told my own doctor who was dd's ped since she would be in the OR too in order to check dd over. I stressed to the anesthesiologist and the nurses during the "prep" portion...before we went to the OR...that I really needed their support, that surgery scares me, that this isn't what I had hoped for in terms of my birth, and that I would really appreciate their help in keeping the mood joyful and not discussing "every day" things during the birth. That this might be "just another surgery" for the OR team, but it was MY baby's birthday and I needed them to celebrate that with me and support me during the experience.

Then DH reminded everyone again when he came in...I think he said something like "Before we get going I just wanted to thank everyone for being here at our daughter's birth even though this isn't what we had planned! I hope everyone can help us celebrate by keeping the focus on her birth." It wasn't elegant, but it was polite and friendly and sort of brought everyone into the "mood" while still getting the point across.

They were all wonderful. The nurse held one hand the whole time, DH held the other (until he went to dd on the "baby warmer"), they let DH announce the sex (even though we knew it was a girl) and offered to let him "recut" the cord. And after the birth the nurses didn't try to tell me "at least you have a healthy baby" or anything like that since I had asked them ahead of time to just treat me like any other new mama and not try to "make me feel better" about the surgery...I just didn't think I could handle that sort of comment when the c/s was so far from what I had dreamed of in terms of my dd's birth.

It was also something we had in the birth plan as a "just in case"...that the OR team be respectful and not chatty, and that we could have music playing if we wanted. We had actually left our cds at home by accident so we didn't have music, but especially in a planned c/s it's often possible for them to put a cd of your choice on in the OR.

Hugs...

[crunchy_mama]

I just wanted to give a huge : We will be thinking of you.

[MommytoTwo]

MommytoTwo, you mentioned something that I'm not sure how or when to address: idle chatter in the OR. I don't want to come across as a bitch, but it really, really upsets me when people try to make light of a situation that is very serious to me. For instance, when the u/s tech initially told me that the baby was breech, she was making jokes about it and kidding me about scheduling my section. I was devastated at the news and asked her to please be more sensitive, as I did NOT find the news funny in the least. I can only imagine how I'll feel listening to them talk about their weekend plans or hospital gossip while I'm trying to cope with one of my worst fears come to life. How did you bring it up? Was it in your birth plan? Did you or your support folks talk to them beforehand? I really want to handle this right, without pissing anybody off."]MommytoTwo, you mentioned something that I'm not sure how or when to address: idle chatter in the OR. I don't want to come across as a bitch, but it really, really upsets me when people try to make light of a situation that is very serious to me. For instance, when the u/s tech initially told me that the baby was breech, she was making jokes about it and kidding me about scheduling my section. I was devastated at the news and asked her to please be more sensitive, as I did NOT find the news funny in the least. I can only imagine how I'll feel listening to them talk about their weekend plans or hospital gossip while I'm trying to cope with one of my worst fears come to life. How did you bring it up? Was it in your birth plan? Did you or your support folks talk to them beforehand? I really want to handle this right, without pissing anybody off

Actually I did not bring it up - it jsut happened that way and I realized afterwards how much BETTER it was. I would bring it up to your OB, then to the anesthesiologist (I think they generally meet with you beforehand) and then again to the nurses while you are getting the spinal. Do not worry about being a bitch. This is YOUR birth, your day and you have hired them. You might also have DH on board with this, because you may be overwhelmed and if it starts up during the surgery he may remind them. You may also ask about having osme nice music playing - it may remind your surgical team that its not just another day in the OR for you. (((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))


I would also just quickly add to expect the smell of cautery. Its kind of freaky and it kind of still brings me back if I smell it.

[OnTheFence]

I wanted to give you some support and let you know that you can have a great experience for you and your baby even with a csection birth. Write a birthplan and discuss it with your nurse and the nursery nurse assigned to your birth when you get to the hospital for the scheduled csection. Let the OB also know your desires, preferrably before your csection. You may be surprised at how much they can do to accomadate your wishes.
My csections with my son Jack and my daughter Katie were wonderful, practically pain free experiences. I was definitely emotionally prepared for it and was well aware what happened during the csection. Like I was mentally prepared to feel tugging and pulling when the baby was born and after. Just small things like that. I normally do not take narcotics or anti-anxiety meds prior, during or after surgery but I will say if you need them, ask for them.
I haven't written my birth story of my past csection. It was not the ideal experiences I had had before but I was emotionally and mentally prepared for it since I was having my baby early for medical reasons -- mostly due to risk of uterine rupture and uterine pain. During this csection I did end up asking for pain medication in my IV. Even though it was not my ideal situation everyone in the OR respected my wishes and were very respectful of me. I had informed consent through out my surgery and was kept informed during the suturing phase of my daughters status. I have to say the staff was so good to us that day and went above and beyond the call of duty.

You mentioned in another post your baby is transverse. Keep in mind that sometimes babies in this position have a hard time coming out even a csection incision. You will probably feel a good bit of pushing and tugging to get him/her out.

My birthplan is posted in the sticky in Birth and Beyond but if you have any questions or need any help at all just PM me. I will get back with you as soon as I can.

*Note. This time I did request a pillow under my head in the OR and it was granted. While I felt initially comfortable. I felt like my face was right on the blue drape and it freaked me out. It just gave me a closed in feeling I had not had with my previous csections. Keep in mind I am tall so maybe this has something to do with it.

[heathenmom]

Thanks to ALL of you who responded with such thoughtful and caring advice. Turns out that I didn't need it. DD turned at the last minute, I went into labor, and we had her at home last night. We're both doing GREAT! I'll post a detailed birth story later, when I have time to think.

[applejuice]

Wow! congratulations, mama!