Hey boys and girls! - Page 2

[theMword]

Originally Posted by Arriotty

Okay, I really needed to read this! Thanks so much. It really seems like no big deal, I guess, for you to take the time to type this out. But to me, this short paragraph is almost life changing. You're awesome, thank you again.

Happy to have been of service.

[mamimapster]

Now the last couple of years I get my periods for anywhere from 3 to 5 months at a time. I'm not kidding! They tell me I have polycystic ovary disease and that is what is causing it. But an ultrasound revealed no cysts. Go figure, they still refuse to change the diagnosis and I am left bleeding constantly and wondering what the hell is up. As a result, I lack energy a lot of days, and am usually low in iron an anemic every few months. [/QUOTE]

Hi there
Welcome to the tribe!
In reading your post this popped out at me. Have you been screened for uterine polyps? I don't have PCOS, but for years I had symptoms like this, and they finally did a test ( I think called a hysterosalpingiogram-say that three times fast!)- and found I had uterine polyps, which also complicate TTC. If this is part of your issue they can cause all kinds of bleeding/spotting problems. BTW, ovarian cysts can grow pretty quickly according to my fertility doc.

[Arriotty]

Originally Posted by mamimapster

Now the last couple of years I get my periods for anywhere from 3 to 5 months at a time. I'm not kidding! They tell me I have polycystic ovary disease and that is what is causing it. But an ultrasound revealed no cysts. Go figure, they still refuse to change the diagnosis and I am left bleeding constantly and wondering what the hell is up. As a result, I lack energy a lot of days, and am usually low in iron an anemic every few months.

Hi there
Welcome to the tribe!
In reading your post this popped out at me. Have you been screened for uterine polyps? I don't have PCOS, but for years I had symptoms like this, and they finally did a test ( I think called a hysterosalpingiogram-say that three times fast!)- and found I had uterine polyps, which also complicate TTC. If this is part of your issue they can cause all kinds of bleeding/spotting problems. BTW, ovarian cysts can grow pretty quickly according to my fertility doc.

No, I haven't actually. Thanks, though, I'll add it to my doc list. I've got a running list of medical issues that need solving before I lose my mind over them. I've been waiting until I move to find a good doctor who I am comfortable with and who is willing to take the time to find out what IS going on and help me to solve each issue.

I have no idea if whatever causes this bleeding is to blame or plays any part, but I did have a miscarriage about 4 months into the pregnancy at age 16. Then at 18 I had a baby boy born a few months too early and he only lived 15 days. Later around age 22 I had a completely normal pregnancy, with baby born a day before her due date. Around a year ago I had another miscarriage which doctors estimated to be a little under 4 months along.

I don't know though, if I'm supposed to have these cysts in my ovaries, wouldn't that make the egg getting out more difficult? In which case how am I getting pregnant? It seems more likely to me that there is something wrong with my uterus that has caused the miscarriages. Or, maybe the babies were defective somehow and my body knew it? God, I really have no idea, I have wracked my brain thinking of reasons, but I will always wonder why why why.

Also I don't understand what is bleeding and causing the clots (yes, TMI, sorry about that!) I need a damn doctor who is going to explain things to me when I ask, not get visibly annoyed by my asking questions. Have you experienced doctors who are standing up and have a hand on the door knob most of the visit? They are just poised to dart out that door the moment you let there be a millisecond more of a pause in the conversation than there should be. BAM he's bolted because you lowered your eye contact for a moment! You're left going DAMN now I need to make another appointment just to finish asking things from this one! Uggh. Maybe it's just me? I ask a lot of questions, I'm curious, damnit! Plus, it's my body, I should know what the heck is going on with it, right?

[Arriotty]

I realized today that I'm moving in like two weeks. Suddenly I can't stop panicking about whether or not I've taken care of everything and if I have enough time to finish taking care of the things I've still got to do. All day I'm making lists again and again, packing and repacking boxes over and over. Taking stock and inventory of every room, writing down what's still being used but needs to be packed soon and shipped off. Trying to plan a ride in to town! Blah! The whole day was this giant whirlwind of emotions, there weren't any breaks or pauses or anything! The hits just kept coming in the form of more and more thing for me to worry about today. By the end of the day I'm exhausted and tired and still worried, panicked and frustrated because I'm absolutely positive that I'm forgetting to do something. My kidlet snuggles up onto me all cute like, and she says "Mom, you really need to chill out, you're going to put yourself in an early grave and I love you so I don't want you to go there."


She's just turned 6! These are the moments when you just stare at them, trying like heck to contemplate where they have picked up such a phrase, and it hits you; this is my kid. My little growing-up kid. This is my kid progressing, learning, moving on, aging, guiding, teaching and just generally being, all at once. Alright, so at the risk of sounding like an enormous sappy mushmonster, I'm going to skip over the sudden need to cry and hold her really close. And I'm not going to mention how heartbreakingly sweet her tiny little "I love you's" are. Of course, it didn't last long before she was wiggling to get away and wanting to scamper off and destroy something...I mean play.

Sometimes it takes just 40 seconds for someone to make your whole day, and maybe even part of the next day. That rocks my socks.

How's the mama's here today?

[wemoon]

I don't have time to read all the responses, but I wanted to let you know that I LOVE butchy girls! My GF could definitely pass if she wanted to and seeing her in baseball hats is HOT! She pretty much wishes her boobs didn't exist, mainly because she is very athletic and she has giant boobs. She's not ever asked me to not touch her boobs, but I know that she doesn't really care if her boobs are ever touched.

I'm pretty femmey and find butchy girls to be extremely attractive. I, too, used to date exclusively guys and realized that I didn't love any of them. I've finally felt what love is.

[amymarie]

arriotty your post about your daughter rocked my socks! and made me all mushy and teary eyed.....i'm so emotional......it sounds like you have done an amazing job raising her....good luck with the packing and moving....
i'm doing good today....i let my dd stay home from school today but i'm pretty sure shes playing sick....i don't mind playing along since she is one of the smartest and best workers in her class....hope you have a wonderful day and rest of the week

[Arriotty]

Originally Posted by amymarie

arriotty your post about your daughter rocked my socks! and made me all mushy and teary eyed.....i'm so emotional......it sounds like you have done an amazing job raising her....good luck with the packing and moving....
i'm doing good today....i let my dd stay home from school today but i'm pretty sure shes playing sick....i don't mind playing along since she is one of the smartest and best workers in her class....hope you have a wonderful day and rest of the week

Hey, thanks! People are always so quick to tell you when you've done something they figure is not good regarding raising your children. It's so nice to hear something positive once in a while.

I like to think I'm doing a good job, but as a more alternative type mother I'm always concerned there could be something I've missed, something more I should be teaching her. I suspect every parent has such worries.

A few weeks back we were at a park and she was playing with some other kids while I sat on a bench nearby and chatted with another mom. This woman seemed so kind and gentle. Seemed like such a sweet woman with a pleasant nature and an easy smile. I rather enjoyed talking to her. Near the end of our play time I noticed this woman glance to her right, towards the playground, and then glance back again quickly. She stood up abruptly, rushed over to the playground and snatched up her little boy. They headed off to her car, no goodbye, no anything.

What had this woman seen that terrified her so much? A gay couple. Two men arrived at the park with their son. The men held hands and shared little pecky kisses while they watched their little tyke play. They were a sweet looking couple, they looked so happy and loving.

My little girl came running over to me once the woman had taken away one of her playmates and left. She asked me "Mom, why did that lady take her son away? I was playing wiff him." I told her because she had seen those two boys kissing each other and it scared her a little bit. She says "Well, that is silly, they are just loving on each other, what is scary about love?" Quite right my darling, quite right. Those are the moments I just feel like I'm about to burst with pride. After informing me how silly it was to be scared of love she confidently proclaimed that boy boy parents and girl girl parents are just like boy girl parents, they just love in a different way but love is still love. She scampered off to play some more after that, completely unaware of every shred of my being about to break down in tears and thank the universe for giving her to me.

Enough about me. Was your wee one really sick? I hope not, but aren't they cute when they are? They get that little snuffly voice and that cute barely there whine, and they want to snuggle you all day long and be babied for comfort. Of course, it sucks that they're sick, but having them not so hyper and wanting to be snuggled all day is pretty great! How old is your little one?

I'm glad you liked my post, sorry I made you teary! I'd hand you a tissue, if I had go-go Gadget arms. Alright, I guess I should get back to packing and sorting. I've got myself convinced I'll never have enough time to take care of all the details, I might as well get my butt in gear and prove myself wrong.

[Arriotty]

Originally Posted by wemoon

I'm pretty femmey and find butchy girls to be extremely attractive. I, too, used to date exclusively guys and realized that I didn't love any of them. I've finally felt what love is.

Thanks for your reply! I just wanted to make a quick response here before I go finish up some packing. I think that this realising I'm not in love with the men Ive been dating thing is really very confusing. To me at least. See, I kept asking the gay people I knew and met if they always knew they were gay. Every damn one of them always said yes. This confused me because I always knew I was attracted to girls as well as boys, but I've never known and still don't know for certain if I am gay. For the longest time I took this to mean that I can't be gay, since I didn't know from early on.

Your post is very helpful on this topic, since it shows me that perhaps I don't have to have always known, in order for it to be true. Thank you.

[KnittingTigers]

Hey Arriotty,

At this point I'm just echoing what everyone else has said, but it is really true- there's so much room on the gender spectrum for everyone, and for each combination of gender, sexuality, desire, etc., there seems to be someone who likes just that. I am only attracted to women who look somehow boyish or andro, and no, it's not about wanting to be with a man at all. Having tried that, I know that boyish woman are not a substitute, but rather, the thing itself, for me anyway. I have no doubt that you'll find women who are excited to have a boyish, toppish lover!

Also, I know that this is so much easier said than done, but don't beat yourself up emotionally because of your body/body image. I'm fairly thin, and I actually prefer dating people who are larger than I am. I don't know why, it's just what I'm attracted to, and I certainly don't "compare" my body to that of my lovers- that would be like comparing apples and oranges. So really, don't feel insecure about yourself, because no matter what size or shape you are, someone will find that hot, will be turned on by it. And, I also find that in the moments when I'm feeling less secure about my body, sex is actually one thing that brings me back into myself, and makes me feel okay about my body again. Something about the process of remembering that your body is made to feel good, to be close to others, etc. These are hard issues. I'm about to start ttc, and I'll be a single mom, and I definitely worry that once I have a kid I won't be "hot" or "sexy" anymore. But, I hope that regardless of how my body changes, I'll still be able to hold onto the pleasure I get from it.

Anyway, good luck! Sounds like a bigger city will be right up your alley!

Angela

[Arriotty]

Earlier in the day, Miss Minkey Boodle (pet name for my lil' girl) asked me if we could go outside to hunt bugs. I have a thing for bugs, I think they're neat. Like tiny little machines with such intricate little mechanics. Also, they have a lot to tell us, once you know all about them. I've always really liked bugs...although some of them I really don't enjoy having on me. I forced myself, though, to pick every one of them up as my Boodle was growing. I showed her each one and told her everything I knew about it, and we would look them up and take pictures of them if we didn't know what kind of bug it was. I didn't want to pass on my ick factor over some types of bugs to her.

So, anyhow, today we hunted some bugs. She's got this little box we made her for the hunt. It's called her bug box and it's awfully cute. She painted it to look like a house and there's small bug couches and chairs and tables glued inside it. Her idea, not mine. It's wooden and it's basically just like a deeper version of a cigar box that is now painted to look like a small house. Did I mention the tiny bug fireplace?

She's been in bed a while now, and I remembered her bug box. I've just been through it and sorted the little guys out. Usually we will collect all the bugs and then I will sort through them and make a list like the one I'm about to post below. I note how many, what the bug is and at least one thing I notice about the bug(s). I pass the list on to the Boodle and she uses it to pick each bug out of the container, hold it up, and decide on a name for it before she releases it outside. Occasionally she decides on a name for a bug right away when she finds it.

1 Mayfly (giant mosquito looking thing)
6 Black Field Crickets (2 males and 4 females)
3 Snails (in varying sizes and colours)
1 Large Ground Beetle (male)
3 Smaller Beetles (specific species unknown)
1 Click Bug (these suckers are cool as hell, anyone ever seen one?)
14 Sow Bugs (only 4 of them females)
7 Pill bugs (the Boodle calls them rollie bugs)
1 Large Irritable Slug (she named him Oscar on a count of his grouchiness)
1 Fluffy black and brown Caterpillar (moth species)
1 Spiney black Caterpillar (species unknown)
1 Cocoon (found in soil, species unknown)
2 Earthworms (one of them is curiously two toned)
1 Grub (unknown species)

So that was the list. Tomorrow when she wakes up we'll let them go and name them, and I'll come back and edit their new names into this post. Also, I have no idea why I'm posting this. It just seemed like something fun to post.

[amymarie]

hunting bugs is fun! your bug box sounds adorable....you are such a cool mom.....that story about what your dd said to you at the park made me teary eyed....don't be sorry, i get that way easily...i like it....its just part of who i am.....full of emotions ready to flow outta me
my dd is seven....her name is aveena maia....she wasn't really sick but she was sniffling a little and worked it to her advantage....
i hope your getting your packing done....moving can be fun....a new home and place to explore....new friends to meet....

[Arriotty]

AmyMarie, your daughter has such a pretty name! My girl is Maren Edel. My parents names are Marlene and Ed. All the same letters are used to spell Maren and Edel. Sort of a tribute, I guess. Also, if you're happy tearing up, then I'm happy to keep em' coming.

I've decided I kind of enjoy having somewhere like this to post little blurbs when I feel like they really should be written and recorded somewhere. I am considering looking in to this blogging thing. Anyone know much about them? Are there better blog sites than others?

Anyhow, without further delay, the bug circus, with their new names:

1 Mayfly - Chuck - Sow bug Juggler
6 Black Field Crickets - Herc, John, Doris, Mable, Lucy, Susie-Q - Trapeze masters
3 Snails - Melvin, Tom, Patrick - members of an elite band of racing snails
1 Large Ground Beetle - Goliath - Strong man
3 Smaller Beetles - Arnold, Jerry, Posey - Dwarven circus hands
1 Click Bug - Wiley - Part of the freak show
14 Sow Bugs - Nameless Sow bugs for Chuck to juggle
7 Pill bugs - Roland, Chance, Sassy, Wilbur, Elanor, Helga, Martin - Clowns in a small car
1 Large Irritable Slug - Oscar - The announcer
1 Fluffy black and brown Caterpillar - Brittney - Dancing caterpillar
1 Spiney black Caterpillar - Aslan - Dancing caterpillar
1 Cocoon - Babyface - Smallest woman in the world, part of the freak show
2 Earthworms - Brandy, Bobby - Tight rope walkers
1 Grub - Dirk - Popcorn salesman

May they go forth, back unto the bug world and entertain the masses. Or something like that.

[wemoon]

Originally Posted by Arriotty

Thanks for your reply! I just wanted to make a quick response here before I go finish up some packing. I think that this realising I'm not in love with the men Ive been dating thing is really very confusing. To me at least. See, I kept asking the gay people I knew and met if they always knew they were gay. Every damn one of them always said yes. This confused me because I always knew I was attracted to girls as well as boys, but I've never known and still don't know for certain if I am gay. For the longest time I took this to mean that I can't be gay, since I didn't know from early on.

Your post is very helpful on this topic, since it shows me that perhaps I don't have to have always known, in order for it to be true. Thank you.

Sexuality is so fluid. If you take a look at Kinsey's scale (which is a theory, so not necessarily true, but makes sense) only 10% of the population are completely heterosexual and only 10% of the population are completley homosexual. Everyone else falls somewhere in between.

I had a student ask me yesterday if kissing a girl made someone gay. I told her that just the act of kissing a girl doesn't make someone gay and that sexuality is a personal recognition. Essentially, you can call yourself whatever you want to and it doesn't matter what you've called yourself in the past because people change.

[amymarie]

wow miss minkey boodle sure can come up with some creative names!....
i like to read some blogs at blogspot....i have a myspace and i have a blog on there....i like writing my thoughts and feelings out....i have a journal i write in for more private stuff but i like when people read and comment on myspace....
hope your doing good and the packing is coming along....

[Arriotty]

Just a few thoughts today.

We're moving in one week and I am a wreck. Why I can't just be one of those fly by the seat of my pants kinda gals is beyond me. I'm positive I won't get everything done in time. Of course I do work better under pressure and realistically I will most likely have everything packed, shipped and ready to leave two days before the actual flight. Now, if I could just get my brain to accept this novel concept!

Today I came to the realization that I really need a girlfriend. I've never been able to properly fall in love with a man. I still have no idea why, really. It seems like a plausible notion. Of course, the problem now is that I'm not sure if I can love a girl either. I've decided once I move I have to try, though. There is no sense in putting off what could be my true identity and destiny because I'm nervous like a school girl. So, lookout Toronto womenfolk, here I come!

I ordered two new pairs of jeans today. Yay! I'm really not a skirt person. About 5 months ago I went on a wardrobe rampage and tossed out old pants I didn't fit into any more, pants with holes, pants with silly patches I once thought were cool sewn on them, sweat pants, cut off shorts, tons of shirts, sweaters and even panties and socks that were more than a year old. The giant tossing session left me with a small but adequate sized wardrobe in all areas except pants. I ended up with two pairs of jeans and one long skirt. Over the last 4 months those two pairs of jeans have been so abused they aren't even wearable any more. The last week I've had nothing to wear on my lower half aside from that one long skirt, which I hate with a passion. I ordered two pairs of jeans from a town about three hours from where I live in the boonies. A friend is driving from there to another friend close to me on Saturday so he is going to pick them up for me tomorrow and drop them off for me on Saturday. I'm so excited, I love new jeans!

I've just realized the highlight of my week has been ordering new pants. God, I am getting old and boring, I tell ya! Maybe I'll take up sky diving or hot air ballooning just to balance it all out.

Hope all you mamas are doing well this week.

[WoadAbode]

Just chiming in here a sec...sounds to me like you need to find the right _person_. I've dated men and women, and altho I loved several times, I didn't find the person I could be with the rest of my life and have children with until I met my DP.

She won't carry a purse either. I think she figures that's what mine is for - all _her_ stuff! I can occasionally convince her to carry a backpack tho - L.L. Bean even sells a diaper bag backpack

Your daughter sounds like she rocks!

Hoping your move goes well and smoothly...oh, and send the long skirt on over to me I'm the one with the skirts, and toolboxes, in this civil union

[amymarie]

hi arriotty! i hope the packing is almost done and you are able to relax a bit....new clothes are always fun.....this morning when i went outside to warm up my car i saw the cutest baby bunny with her mama in my front yard....the highlight of my day so far....aveenas dad signed her up for soccer and shes very excited....she looks so adorable in her soccer outfit....

[Arriotty]

Okay, so three weeks ago I made booking arrangements to ship a cat I was tentatively taking care of to her new home, which is three hours away from where I live. I booked it, and all seemed fine. Aside from the fact that the kid who booked it found out I was coming in to his office area on friday when I have to pick up my dog from the live handling desk in Toronto airport. He insisted I take his number and call him when I got in so he could take me "clubbing." Uh huh, yeah.

So anyways the people on the other end decide the date isn't good for them, so I call again a few days later to rebook it. It turns out the kid who booked it entered a whole different city where I would be dropping off the cat. His buddy was the one to take the call, and when I mentioned his friend had tried to pick me up he laughed and put me on hold to razz the other guy about it. Then we find out he had to enter the wrong departure city THREE times when he originally made the plan. The two cities in question sound nothing alike, either. It's a mystery how he ended up with the other one. So anyways I finally get done re-booking it, all is well, the second guy then tries to pick me up as well, claiming him AND his friend will take me "clubbing." In order to save hassle I informed him I was an aspiring lesbian and had no interest in clubbing with them. Then he told me they would take me to all the hot gay bars. What's worse is these two will be there when I have to pick up my dog the day I fly. I'm going to have to run into one of these dolts!:

They asked me how much the cat weighed. I told them. They gave me the dimensions of the kennel she would need, and informed me I would have to find one with metal bolts, or add them myself, apparently plastic ones just won't due. We all know how cats turn green and gain super feline strength when confined in a kennel, it seems metal is needed to hold them back from ripping out of the kennel and perhaps the entire aircraft as well. I had to order an airline approved kennel, it cost an arm and a leg. I then had to add metal bolts to it per their instructions.

Okay so they had told me to be two hours early or the cat would not get on the plane. Well her plane was set to leave at 10:00 am this morning, which meant I needed to be there by 8:00 am. Like a dolt I already packed and shipped my alarm clock to the new place. So I realised I would never get up on time to meet my ride if I didn't stay up all night. We get there at ten minutes to 8:00 and I'm thinking hey sweet, for once I am on time. Wrong. It turns out the place doesn't even open until 8:30 am. We end up having to wait around for a half an hour. Finally I take the cat in and this very portly and manly looking woman sternly informs me that they will not accept this kennel, because she (the cat) has to lower her head a half an inch to sit up straight in it. Great. Awesome. Thanks.

Off to the pet store we race, to see if they had a larger one in the same shipment. Well, the pet store doesn't open until 9:30 am. Scratch that. We head over to Canadian Tire. I found a kennel in there that was a medium size, instead of the small size we'd already bought. Only it doesn't have metal bolts, OR plastic bolts that I can even swap for metal bolts. It has flat snappy things to hold it together. However the tag says "airline approved." So I buy it, thinking if they refuse it I can just return it. We race back to the airport and I show them the new kennel. They tell me right away sure they will accept it. I am baffled of course and ask them WHY then was there such a hassle over having metal bolts? They tell me they started accepting these kind recently because they say airline approved and so many people show up with them that they couldn't be bothered to deal with the angry customers any more. Okay, fine. I wish someone had told me this two weeks ago, but fine. So I go put the cat in the new kennel, and come back to the desk. Great, it is now 9:30 am and her flight leaves in a half hour. They inform me she will be missing this flight and I will have to re-book her on to the next flight out.

Of course, sending in the booking order to the live animals desk in Toronto takes an HOUR for a response with a price so I can pay and get the hell out of there finally. Just in case you were wondering, hanging out in a tiny airport with a 6 yr old girl and a mewling feline is not all that much fun. I left a message on the machine of the woman picking her up, I still have no clue whether or not she got the message or not. Worst case scenario she misses the flight, goes home to check the message and has to drive all the way back to the airport an hour away to pick up the cat. That poor, poor feline. I feel SO guilty. I know it will be better for her, she's an old cat and she is going to a farm with no other cats or dogs and no kids to pester her. She will have run of the house and be able to chase mice in the barn until her little heart is content. But I still feel bad. I had grown sort of attached to her, I guess.

Anyhow, I'm really not sure why Air Canada doesn't answer their phone with "We don't actually want your business, please prepare for us to dick you around mercilessly." It really seems that way to me.

I guess this was a rant, I needed to get it out. I still haven't slept, but the last of the boxes to be shipped will be going tomorrow, so I feel less anxious about that.

[amymarie]

wow....that sucks....well at least your almost done and feeling a little less anxious....thats so crazy those two guys both asked you to go clubbing.....hope all is going well and your having a good day.....

[Arriotty]

My ride is coming to get me in about 5 hours. I'm so not looking forward to the plane. Had I mentioned I really hate to fly? I'm always positive the flight I happen to be on will be the statistic flight that crashes and burns. I really think I need to stress less, I'm starting to sound like my mother. God help us all.

So, everything is shipped already, except my computer, which I will be packing up in the next half hour or so. Talk about waiting until the last minute. I am a computer junkie, I have realised this now. I wonder if I need some sort of intervention. I'm shipping the computer out right before I go to the airport, so I guess I won't get it for another 5 days or so. I suppose I can handle not reading my birth stories until I'm ready to sleep for 5 whole days. I mean, if I have to.

Also, I started a blog! It's official, I'm a blogger. I don't know how I get sucked in to these trends. I really don't. I need bitch lessons. Surely there has to be someone that teaches women like me to just say no to trendy crap I don't really need in my life. I am doomed. I don't know why I keep trying to fight it, I should just give in and get a job in the computer field.

I'm babbling at this point. I'm going to shut up now. See all you mama's in a week or so. Play safe!