He was born on the 6th and taken to a NICU at a hospital an hour away. *tears*.. here is the story I Just posted on my myspace. If you want to see more pictures you can go there. http://www.myspace.com/gaidinsgirl
It's more than just his birth story really, its the first week story.
Okay so I thought I would actually try to get some of this stuff in writing. It will be random though, because my thoughts are still all over the place. I have tried to do this a couple times, but never get far.
We got to hospital right on time at 5:00 am. They asked lots of stupid questions.1. are you going to breastfeed? 2. are you going to put your baby up for adoption? 3. Are you going to circumcize? 4. Is it a boy or a girl?.. They actually ask those questions in that order. As if I will breastfeed by child and then give him or her away.
I can honestly say that the IV they gave me in my left hand hurt worse then getting the spinal. I had a nurse who didn't know what she was doing apparently and as I was griping that it hurt she was saying "when I stop wiggling it, it will stop hurting". *sigh* so stop wiggling it already!
We went back into the OR right at 7:30 and he was out by 8:04. As they were pulling him out I heard the dr say that he was "still a boy" and that he was a big one ( half grown she said). She also said "check his shoulder, I think I heard a pop". His first cry took my breath away, but it wasn't a really strong cry like I have seen on the movies. He had more of a little puppy dog whimper. They brought him over to Eddie and I was trying to reach my hand up and touch him but I was shaking so hard that I could barely get my hand to work. I just kept thinking about how absolutely beautiful he was. He weighed 8 lbs 13 ounces and was 20.5 inches long. Big boy for only 38 weeks 4 days gestation.
Eddie took him out to the nursery and they finished up with me and took me to recovery. In recovery one of the nurses told me that "He has a substantial birthmark on his right arm and shoulder". I wasn't worried about that because Eddie has birthmarks on his legs. 3 or 4 of them, none are that big but he does have them so it wasn't a suprise to hear that Jamie had one. When Eddie came back there with me I asked him about it and he said that it looked more like a bruise to him than a birthmark. He also told me that that same arm was swollen. The theory at that point was that maybe it was the position he was in inside the womb.
When they took me to my room they let me go by the nursery to see the baby. The nurse was giving him a bath and held him up for me to see. Once we got into the room I started asking when they would bring him to me. The nurses told me that they were finishing up his bath and once his body temp was up and stable they would bring him back. Two hours went by and I still hadn't seen him. We were told that one of the Dr's was on the phone with them and was coming to check out his arm and then they would bring him to me. About 20 minutes later the doctor came into the room and told us that they had been doing XRays on his arm ( apparently lots and lots of them) and that they could not find anything to cause his arm to be swollen like it was. It was about twice the size of his left arm. He also told us that they were hearing a heart murmur that may or may not be related to his arm. He said they had called around locally and that no one had the equipment needed to find out. He said that they were transferring him to TC Thompson ( close to an hour away depending on traffic) and that transport would be there in 45 minutes. The minute the words were out of his mouth I broke down. I have never in my life had my heart broken like that. We had no idea there was anything wrong, other than a little swelling. It is my opinion that they should have told us they were doing the XRays and that they were concerned that something was seriously wrong. They brought him back to me and we had less than 45 minutes to hold and bond with him before they took him away.
When my SIL asked the nurses about me trying to nurse him before he left she was told that "there were so many people visiting in the room that they didn't want to ask me about it". I had made a point of letting them all know that I planned to breastfeed so this of course just added to my tears. Once the transport took him, one of the nurses brought me a breastpump so I could at least do that for him.
About two hours later the DR at TC Thompson called and said that he had Klippel Trenaunay Weber and that the murmur was still there and could possibly be associated with the condition. He explained that the condition is an extra collection of blood vessels. They were concerned that his heart might be overworked because of the extra flow of blood back and forth between his heart and his arm. I asked if there was a way to *fix* the condition and he told me that "no, there is no way to fix it". I somehow managed to stay calm during the conversation, but the minute I hung up with him and tried to tell Eddie what he had said I lost it again and started to cry.
My dr came in around 10 pm and told me that she was going to release me on Saturday afternoon so I could go be with Jamie, if I wanted to go. The nurses had me up and walking around just a couple hours later. I personally think I recovered from the c-section in record time. I had heard that the first time I stood up after the c-section would be horrible, but it was actually less painful than that IV I mentioned earlier. Saturday morning my doctor came back by and said that she had just gotten my release started. I was out of the hospital by 12 and on my way to see my baby within an hour. I had to do a lot of walking back and forth to and from the NICU and it was hard at times. My body was tired and my incision area was sore, but I was motivated and did it. If I could have handled everything emotionally as well as I did physically it would have been so much better.
Eddie left me in our room once so I could nap, while he went to be with Jamie. He came back an hour later and found me on the bed crying my eyes out. I cried more last week then I have ever cried in my life.
My heart just aches for mom's of babies in the NICU. I honestly don't know how I would deal with having my child there for longer than Jamie was there. My heart broke everytime I left him. I stayed in bed at night literally craving him. I needed to be with him and I couldn't. He had a different nurse every shift. In 6 days he only had the same nurse two times. Some of the nurses were amazing and some were horrible. Jamie had a hard time the first few days with his feedings. I was only able to pump a tiny bit for him, so he was being supplemented formula. They give the babies 30 minutes to finish the feeding and he was barely finishing in that time. After he finished he would spit up almost all of the bottle. His blood sugar dropped and they ended up giving him an IV. There were two feedings on Sunday that were only breastmilk and he didn't spit up anything for either of those feedings. I asked the nurse why, if he spit up the formula every time did they not at least try a different formula. She said it wasn't the formula causing it. I told her that it was, because when he had my milk he didn't get sick. She informed me that formula and breastmilk were equal and that either would make him sick. I was so angry at her for that. I started pumping very aggressively at that point. I was not going to allow them to continue to supplement with the formula knowing it was making him sick. They were already starting to use the words "tube feeding" because he wasn't holding the formula down. We ( I use the word we because Eddie was right there with me and he was also the one who had to run the milk back to the NICU every time) were able to stay one feeding ahead of him all that night. I would get the milk pumped and Eddie would go back to the hospital ( we were at the Ronald McDonald House across the street) and get the milk to the nurses with about 20 minutes to spare. He hasn't had a drop of formula since Sunday afternoon and his tummy issues are non-existent now.
Twice when they changed his diaper they found a tiny drop of blood right where his penis touched. They were concerned that maybe he had another instance of KTW somewhere in his kidneys/bladder so they did another ultrasound to check, but it came back clean. Thank the Lord.
He also ended up with a mild case of Jaundice. He still has it now, but it isn't enough for them to be concerned with.
On our last night there they let us room in with him. They put us in a hotel-like room and he was ours for the night. It was wonderful. For the first time since he was born we were allowed to hold him without asking permission. We were allowed to feed him when he wanted to be fed. We didn't have to wait the 3 hours and then force him to finish a bottle in 30 minutes. I was able to nurse him whenever he wanted without having to rush him so that he was able to get the bottle finished in the time frame as well as nurse from me.
We had to watch some videos and take a class on how to take care of him, but finally we were able to bring him home.
Everything is wonderful now that he is home. We are both completely in love with him and are enjoying every minute with him.
I already said it before, but thanks to all of you for your wonderful comments and for all of your prayers. I know I couldn't have made it through the week without the prayers. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. I hated leaving him in the NICU. After all the years of praying to even conceive him and then anticipating his arrival, it just tore me apart to have to let them take him away from me only hours after he was born.
He has to see lots of doctors over the next few months. Everyone wants to see how this will play out. His heart is not showing any signs of being worked too hard. He does still have the murmur, but the pediatrician we saw yesterday said that it was very slight and he was not concerned about it right now. He has complete use and movement of his arm and shoulder. Other than the size of it, there is no signs that there is anything wrong. I don't believe it is "twice the size of his other one" but it is larger. He is still the most beautiful baby I have ever seen though!
It's more than just his birth story really, its the first week story.
Okay so I thought I would actually try to get some of this stuff in writing. It will be random though, because my thoughts are still all over the place. I have tried to do this a couple times, but never get far.
We got to hospital right on time at 5:00 am. They asked lots of stupid questions.1. are you going to breastfeed? 2. are you going to put your baby up for adoption? 3. Are you going to circumcize? 4. Is it a boy or a girl?.. They actually ask those questions in that order. As if I will breastfeed by child and then give him or her away.
I can honestly say that the IV they gave me in my left hand hurt worse then getting the spinal. I had a nurse who didn't know what she was doing apparently and as I was griping that it hurt she was saying "when I stop wiggling it, it will stop hurting". *sigh* so stop wiggling it already!
We went back into the OR right at 7:30 and he was out by 8:04. As they were pulling him out I heard the dr say that he was "still a boy" and that he was a big one ( half grown she said). She also said "check his shoulder, I think I heard a pop". His first cry took my breath away, but it wasn't a really strong cry like I have seen on the movies. He had more of a little puppy dog whimper. They brought him over to Eddie and I was trying to reach my hand up and touch him but I was shaking so hard that I could barely get my hand to work. I just kept thinking about how absolutely beautiful he was. He weighed 8 lbs 13 ounces and was 20.5 inches long. Big boy for only 38 weeks 4 days gestation.
Eddie took him out to the nursery and they finished up with me and took me to recovery. In recovery one of the nurses told me that "He has a substantial birthmark on his right arm and shoulder". I wasn't worried about that because Eddie has birthmarks on his legs. 3 or 4 of them, none are that big but he does have them so it wasn't a suprise to hear that Jamie had one. When Eddie came back there with me I asked him about it and he said that it looked more like a bruise to him than a birthmark. He also told me that that same arm was swollen. The theory at that point was that maybe it was the position he was in inside the womb.
When they took me to my room they let me go by the nursery to see the baby. The nurse was giving him a bath and held him up for me to see. Once we got into the room I started asking when they would bring him to me. The nurses told me that they were finishing up his bath and once his body temp was up and stable they would bring him back. Two hours went by and I still hadn't seen him. We were told that one of the Dr's was on the phone with them and was coming to check out his arm and then they would bring him to me. About 20 minutes later the doctor came into the room and told us that they had been doing XRays on his arm ( apparently lots and lots of them) and that they could not find anything to cause his arm to be swollen like it was. It was about twice the size of his left arm. He also told us that they were hearing a heart murmur that may or may not be related to his arm. He said they had called around locally and that no one had the equipment needed to find out. He said that they were transferring him to TC Thompson ( close to an hour away depending on traffic) and that transport would be there in 45 minutes. The minute the words were out of his mouth I broke down. I have never in my life had my heart broken like that. We had no idea there was anything wrong, other than a little swelling. It is my opinion that they should have told us they were doing the XRays and that they were concerned that something was seriously wrong. They brought him back to me and we had less than 45 minutes to hold and bond with him before they took him away.
When my SIL asked the nurses about me trying to nurse him before he left she was told that "there were so many people visiting in the room that they didn't want to ask me about it". I had made a point of letting them all know that I planned to breastfeed so this of course just added to my tears. Once the transport took him, one of the nurses brought me a breastpump so I could at least do that for him.
About two hours later the DR at TC Thompson called and said that he had Klippel Trenaunay Weber and that the murmur was still there and could possibly be associated with the condition. He explained that the condition is an extra collection of blood vessels. They were concerned that his heart might be overworked because of the extra flow of blood back and forth between his heart and his arm. I asked if there was a way to *fix* the condition and he told me that "no, there is no way to fix it". I somehow managed to stay calm during the conversation, but the minute I hung up with him and tried to tell Eddie what he had said I lost it again and started to cry.
My dr came in around 10 pm and told me that she was going to release me on Saturday afternoon so I could go be with Jamie, if I wanted to go. The nurses had me up and walking around just a couple hours later. I personally think I recovered from the c-section in record time. I had heard that the first time I stood up after the c-section would be horrible, but it was actually less painful than that IV I mentioned earlier. Saturday morning my doctor came back by and said that she had just gotten my release started. I was out of the hospital by 12 and on my way to see my baby within an hour. I had to do a lot of walking back and forth to and from the NICU and it was hard at times. My body was tired and my incision area was sore, but I was motivated and did it. If I could have handled everything emotionally as well as I did physically it would have been so much better.
Eddie left me in our room once so I could nap, while he went to be with Jamie. He came back an hour later and found me on the bed crying my eyes out. I cried more last week then I have ever cried in my life.
My heart just aches for mom's of babies in the NICU. I honestly don't know how I would deal with having my child there for longer than Jamie was there. My heart broke everytime I left him. I stayed in bed at night literally craving him. I needed to be with him and I couldn't. He had a different nurse every shift. In 6 days he only had the same nurse two times. Some of the nurses were amazing and some were horrible. Jamie had a hard time the first few days with his feedings. I was only able to pump a tiny bit for him, so he was being supplemented formula. They give the babies 30 minutes to finish the feeding and he was barely finishing in that time. After he finished he would spit up almost all of the bottle. His blood sugar dropped and they ended up giving him an IV. There were two feedings on Sunday that were only breastmilk and he didn't spit up anything for either of those feedings. I asked the nurse why, if he spit up the formula every time did they not at least try a different formula. She said it wasn't the formula causing it. I told her that it was, because when he had my milk he didn't get sick. She informed me that formula and breastmilk were equal and that either would make him sick. I was so angry at her for that. I started pumping very aggressively at that point. I was not going to allow them to continue to supplement with the formula knowing it was making him sick. They were already starting to use the words "tube feeding" because he wasn't holding the formula down. We ( I use the word we because Eddie was right there with me and he was also the one who had to run the milk back to the NICU every time) were able to stay one feeding ahead of him all that night. I would get the milk pumped and Eddie would go back to the hospital ( we were at the Ronald McDonald House across the street) and get the milk to the nurses with about 20 minutes to spare. He hasn't had a drop of formula since Sunday afternoon and his tummy issues are non-existent now.
Twice when they changed his diaper they found a tiny drop of blood right where his penis touched. They were concerned that maybe he had another instance of KTW somewhere in his kidneys/bladder so they did another ultrasound to check, but it came back clean. Thank the Lord.
He also ended up with a mild case of Jaundice. He still has it now, but it isn't enough for them to be concerned with.
On our last night there they let us room in with him. They put us in a hotel-like room and he was ours for the night. It was wonderful. For the first time since he was born we were allowed to hold him without asking permission. We were allowed to feed him when he wanted to be fed. We didn't have to wait the 3 hours and then force him to finish a bottle in 30 minutes. I was able to nurse him whenever he wanted without having to rush him so that he was able to get the bottle finished in the time frame as well as nurse from me.
We had to watch some videos and take a class on how to take care of him, but finally we were able to bring him home.
Everything is wonderful now that he is home. We are both completely in love with him and are enjoying every minute with him.
I already said it before, but thanks to all of you for your wonderful comments and for all of your prayers. I know I couldn't have made it through the week without the prayers. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. I hated leaving him in the NICU. After all the years of praying to even conceive him and then anticipating his arrival, it just tore me apart to have to let them take him away from me only hours after he was born.
He has to see lots of doctors over the next few months. Everyone wants to see how this will play out. His heart is not showing any signs of being worked too hard. He does still have the murmur, but the pediatrician we saw yesterday said that it was very slight and he was not concerned about it right now. He has complete use and movement of his arm and shoulder. Other than the size of it, there is no signs that there is anything wrong. I don't believe it is "twice the size of his other one" but it is larger. He is still the most beautiful baby I have ever seen though!
