Talk to me about night weaning, please!

[LeAnnie]

: My ds will be 17 months this month. We cosleep and he wakes to nurse 1-3 times at night. I'm at that burn-out tired stage and feeling like I can't do it any longer. My dd is homeschooling and I work very part time outside the home (and I would like to have some time and energy for dh and basic things like exercise, cooking).
So last night, I got frustrated around 4:30am after ds's 3rd? waking/nursing request. I told him milk was asleep and said we were both putting our heads on the pillow and going to sleep. He was mad and protested without crying for just a few seconds and then conked out with me holding him. I was kind of surprised he didn't cry at all.
So, here is my question..I know many have nightweaned toddlers. Can they cognitively understand that nursing is not available at night but will be in the morning? Is it too much to expect if he is right next to me to not nurse? I guess trying it is the true test, but I feel a shadow of guilt and certainly am not up for any crying struggles over it.
If you don't night wean, what age does a little one give it up on their own? I'm trying to figure out if I have the energy and commitment to let the night nursing stop on his timing.

[SublimeBirthGirl]

I used Dr. Gordon's Changing the Sleep Pattern in the Family Bed (search his site for the article, drjaygordon.com). I nightweaned my boobie-addicted older daughter at 19 months in about 3 nights and she started sleeping all night almost right away (still cosleeping). I'm gonna do it at 12 months w/ my now-7 month old. She is significantly less boob-dependent (and actually, doesn't really even cosleep, by her own choice).

[lizabird]

I totally nightweaned ds right after he turned 2 yrs old. At that point, we were down to one nursing/night for about the previous 6 months or so.
I gradually got down to once/night by basically nursing him to sleep and then I'd let him nurse the first time he woke up after midnight and not again until the sun came up. It was a pretty arbitrary decision on my part to do it this way, but it actually worked out pretty well. If he woke up any other time I'd just tell him it wasn't time yet and he'd cuddle up to me and go back to sleep. When we nightweaned I let him nurse while we read stories before bed, then told him it was time to say goodnight to milk and he could have milk again in the morning when the sun came up. I also let him "touch the milk" and that was very comforting to him (though quickly became very annoying for me). Good luck.

[Cujobunny]

Originally Posted by LeAnnie

Can they cognitively understand that nursing is not available at night but will be in the morning?

Some can, depends on the child I think.

Since ds has been nightweaned (at 22 mo) he only wakes up once as opposed to 3 times a night. When he wakes up he's totally fine with snuggling and he understands we don't have "baba" in bed anymore.

[LeAnnie]

Originally Posted by SublimeBirthGirl

I used Dr. Gordon's Changing the Sleep Pattern in the Family Bed (search his site for the article, drjaygordon.com)..

Dr. Gordon rocks! Thanks- I will check that out.

It helps a lot to hear mama's weigh in on this issue-it's not a simple one, that's for sure.

[BlissedOutMama]

I moved my daughter into her own bed at 11 months, and Dad took over nightime parenting. She was nightweaned that night because I simply was not there to offer it. It was not a big deal, I just stopped caring for her at night unless there was serious illness. We did the same thing with my son, slipped him into bed with his sister, and I stopped nursing him at night, Dad took over the night wakings. Worked well for us, so good luck with your little one.