I'm really glad I found this thread and tribe.
DD was a full 2 weeks late when my OB scheduled my induction. At 7AM on Monday, I checked in. They were not pleased with my lack of progression and started me off with cervical softener. I started having contractions and DH and I spent the entire day walking the hospital. By dinner time, I was nearly 100% effaced and having regular contractions at 10-minute intervals. I was asked if I wanted an epidural to get me through the night, and I said no. I felt like things were progressing enough to where maybe, just maybe, DD would be born very late that night or very early the next morning.
Well, she wasn't. I breathed through contractions all night long, so I didn't sleep at all. The OB came in around 9 the next morning. I was finally 100% effaced but only 4cm dilated. My contractions were coming every 7 minutes and I was exhausted. At 1pm - 31 hours into labor - he came in to check again and said I was 6cm and that DD would most certainly be born today. However, my water had not broken yet, so he told me he was going to break my water. He didn't even give me a chance to protest before he broke my water. I felt so ... violated.
By now, my contractions were coming every 5 minutes and I was delirious from the exhaustion. Honestly, my contractions were NOT painful, but I was having a very hard time recovering between them because I just did not have the energy. I asked to be left alone to talk with my doula and DH. (I had planned for an unmedicated hospital birth.) I just felt that there was no way I'd be able to adequately push unless I got some rest. My doula agreed that I needed energy. So, as my contractions were coming 3 minutes apart, I consented to an epidural. I had never felt so defeated. I was handling those contractions SO well, but I knew I needed to rest.
Rest, I did. When I awoke 7 hours later, I was in transition. I could feel immense amounts of pressure in my rear end. The nurse checked me and moved me t to the birthing room. She said I was 9.75cm dilated, so she was going to be back in 20 minutes for me to start pushing. (Is there even a way to tell between 9.75cm and 10cm???) I told DH to tell her to get back in the room because I was going to start pushing NOW. He ran to get her while I pushed through the first couple of contractions alone. (She came back and remarked at how quickly I got to pushing. How long was she expecting it to take??)
I pushed for 3 hours. DD would get to a certain point in the birth canal and just spring right back up after I stopped pushing. The OB offered 2 choices - vacuum extraction (followed by a c/s if it didn't work) or go straight for a c/s. I picked the c/s. I'm glad I did, because when they got to DD, she had the cord wrapped around her neck twice. They had to cut the cord while she was still in me to get her out. I watched them carry her over to the pediatrician. I wanted to hold her so badly. I had waited 42 long weeks.
moment was when they gave her the eye ointment and THEN read our birth plan, which specifically said NO EYE OINTMENT. So, instead of fessing up to it, they just tried to wipe it off. When they FINALLY brought her over to me, I got a mouthful of eye goop while trying to kiss her.
: They wouldn't let her come into recovery with me, and so I didn't get to see her until 3 hours after I had her. They had already fed her formula from a bottle
and she was sleeping.
The only part of DD's birth that went according to plan was that she was born. There wasn't anything traumatic in the sense that anyone was hurt or injured, aside from having my water broken when I did not want it to be broken. Her birth was very disappointing for me. I HATE that I got an epidural. Hate it hate it hate it. I think I would've been ok with it had I delivered her vaginally, because there is no way I would've been able to push for 3 hours without the rest I got. But, I feel like it was for nothing since I ended up having a c/s anyway. I feel like it was just one more drug in my, therefore in her, system. What really scares me is that the OB suggested a vacuum extraction without checking for a wrapped cord. At the time, I didn't think about it, but no one even checked! DD was SO close to crowning that it would've been an easy check. I shudder when I think about what could've happened had I chosen a vacuum extraction. For a long time, I couldn't even talk about it.
No one seems to really understand. I get a lot of, "it doesn't matter how she got here, as long as she's here." Well, it matters to ME how she got here ... her birth wasn't traumatic as we both are healthy and unharmed from it. And really, I probably can't even say it was disappointing since she arrived healthy ... but, in a way, it was pretty disappointing for me.