Originally Posted by angelcat
See, there's the condescending thing again. First of all, the herpes thing wasn't about me, and 2nd of all, I meant if someone was having an outbreak when they went into labour. But you had to assume I didn't know what I was talking about & talk down to me.
It's late, and I"m pms'ing, so not the best time for me to be posting here, but yeah, I hate hate hate how judgmental people here can be. Obviously not everyone, or I'd have left long ago.
Wow, I'm really not seeing where you're coming from. She didn't say *anything* about YOU being the one with herpes - just that it didn't 100% of the time mean a c-section had to happen. It didn't seem at all like she was talking down to you - simply saying "hey, that's not always true" (disagreement does not mean talking down to). Yes, we're here to vent (hence the title), and I think a lot of us HAVE talked to people who were obviously uneducated about childbirth, like when I talked to my friend who declared homebirth too risky - and fwiw, I remembered exactly what she said after I posted this and she said (regarding why she'd never homebirth) "it just isn't safe" - I know for a fact she's uneducated about that b/c if she had done her research, she wouldn't be able to make a comment like that b/c the research shows otherwise (plus, from knowing her I happen to know that she hasn't researched birth in general)! But instead of taking some time to learn the facts, she dismissed it. Do you see what I'm saying?
You know, if it were me (or most people in general, I would think) who had a friend who had a serious interest or lots of experience in something that I wanted to learn more about, I'd ASK them information about it. But when it comes to pregnancy and birth, people tend to defer to the professionals, OB's in this case, who really aren't trained at all (at least in the US) to be knowledgable about normal, boring, routine birth and supporting healthy pregnancies with good nutrition, etc. No, they're surgical specialists designed to look for problems to fix, so really they aren't the people most women she speak to FIRST about pregnancy and birth. If they're needed, hooray they're there, but I think what's getting a lot of us is that they tend to (and I'm generalizing here obviously) espouse poor information - non-medically based information in many cases - and women suffer at their hands b/c they simply just trust what they hear and don't think to or don't want to scratch the surface and learn for themselves. To me, as a parent, that's a shame. Parents shouldn't take anything at faith regarding information they hear, even if it comes from someone like me who thinks they know better then a lot of OB's - the parent should still do their own homework and make whatever decision they THEN feel comfortable with. That's all I ask of people - make educated choices, even if they're not the same I'd make. I can respect THAT. But that's just my opinion. And I'm here to vent.