Major RANT here -- call from OB office this a.m. - Page 2

[willoLevin]

Originally Posted by Ks Mama

...In my opinion and experience, it really isn't all that realistic, nor fair, to put that full responsibility on your husband. ...

And, depending upon your husband's personality, he might do like mine and go completely blank and moronic a soon as labor starts! My DH, brilliant though he may be intellectually, did not handle the stress of labor with too much aplomb. He started running around trying to take me to the hospital right after my water broke, when I wasn't even having contractions yet!

Having a paid or volunteer doula, or even a very sensible friend, might be wise for this reason alone!

--willo

[txbikegrrl]

Well, DH's coworker's OB wife said it is routine to give Pit after birth to prevent hemorrage but she's willing to allow clients to forego the procedure if everything looks okay. So I got a copy of my medical record from the current docs and DH passed it on (along with my birth plan) this afternoon.

The doctor who first informed me about this standard procedure called to discuss it wiht me in more detail last night. I explained that 2 of her colleagues had told me the only requirement for L&D was a heplock when I directly asked (weeks ago) about any routine or mandatory requirements. She had a much better understanding of why I was so upset -- finally. Then she asked why I didn't originally plan to birth with a midwife. Well, because there aren't any on my insurance plan and at the time I wasn't aware of how difficult it would be to work with/in an OB practice. I only told her the first part...

Anyway, then I asked why we couldn't wait until after the baby started breastfeeding to see about the bleeding and her response was "Well he might not bf it's not always that easy" etc. I just calmly agreed (while biting my tongue) that sometimes it wasn't for some mothers and babies, but again my birth plan is "if everything is going well" which would include the baby latching on after birth. There was a long pause and she just said she didn't think the practice was willing to bend on this because of the risk (which from what I can see is 3%) of hemorrage. I did get the impression that she (and the group) really TRULY believe that this is in the best interest of mother and baby and not only to avoid legal action. I don't know if that is better or worse for my chances of not having the Pitocin after birth.

THANKS AGAIN FOR ALLOWING ME TO VENT AND FOR ALL OF YOUR SUPPORT OR SUGGESTESTIONS. It really has allowed me to "process" this whole issue.

[NCMomworld]

I am sorry you are going through this! I am 33 weeks (34 on Sunday) and just now my OB/Midwife practice is starting to say they won't let me do/not do some things that were verbally agreed upon early in pregnancy. I am trying to switch, but it *may* be too late. I hope everything works out perfectly for you and you end up with the birth you've dreamed of

[txbikegrrl]

So far, nothing has changed. I have not been able to find anyone who will take me as a transfer at this "late" date of 34/35 weeks. I called 2 birth centers but they don't accept our insurance (HMO) and are too expensive for us to afford out of pocket.

As usual, my docs nurse(s) did not called back to set up that "emergency" appointment for me that was so very urgent. So I guess I won't be seen this week. I feel fine so I'll go in again on May 2nd during my reg scheduled appt.

I'm trying to stay calm about this and think maybe it's for a reason or rationalize that everything will work out in the end. I definitely feel better this week after not allowing myself to stress out about it any more.

Does anyone have other suggestions? I feel like I've done everything possible at this point and just have to cope with the situation as best I can for my health -- and the baby's too.

[mammal_mama]

I remember the feeling as my first was born in hospital, too. I'm not sure what to say, since I had a birthplan like you, but still ended up with a highly medical birth. By the birth of my second I was ready for homebirth and it was great -- even in my tiny, cramped, way less-than-perfect living quarters. But I wasn't ready to take that plunge with my first, so I can understand your hesitance, your feeling that things have to be a certain way before it will work.

Have you made any progress in finding a midwife or doula who's not tied to the hospital, who could be with you and help you assert yourself when you're in a vulnerable place? That's one thing I didn't have that I wish I did.

All in all, just remember that soon you'll be holding and nursing your little one, and everything'll be all right!