Prior homeschoolers - how did you make the decision to put your child in school?

[Heavenly]

I am really struggling with homeschooling. I love my kids so much but the day to day is driving me insane. I am really not a patient person. I am trying to change but it is a long process. My kids ignore me and throw fits and fight with each other all the time. Our house is basically like living in a battle zone. I am just at my end. The idea of putting them in school breaks my heart completely. How could I not be the one who is with them all the time, the one who teaches them what they need to know, the one who makes the decisions for their lives. If they go to school from 8:30-3:30 and then have lessons or other activities a couple of days a week when would I ever see them. We are done having kids, these are the only kids I'm going to have. How can I basically make a choice to miss their childhood?

But at the same time I am frustrated all the time, I am tired and worn out all the time. I yell at them way too much and I get impatient when we are doing our schoolwork. My son refuses to pay attention or do his schoolwork. We don't unschool, I'm not into that. Every day is a battle to get him to do even two pages of a workbook. So I end up getting mad and then he gets mad and then we just have a crappy day because we are fighting. My daughter doesn't have a problem with doing schoolwork but she throws fits constantly too. They both just seem so unhappy. I am worried I will ruin their childhood by putting them in school and I am worried I will ruin it by keeping them at home. I feel like I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. Any input for this worn out mom?

Edited to add - I would love, love, love to put them in Montessori. It just SO fits in with my philosophy of learning but there is absolutely no way I can afford it.

[bobandjess99]

First of all...hugs.

Secondly...okay, i understand you say you are not into "unschooling" I hear you. But it does sound like your current method of homescholling isn't working. Perhaps yopur sone just hates worksheets. Perhaps you could look into other homeschooling methods that are different from what you are doing now, yet not unschooling? Perhaps les "sit down and do your work" time and more hands-on, active learning? More field trips? It's getting wormer, depending on where you are...maybe outside stuff, parks, zoos, nature stuff? Perhaps just a break?? I don't know how your homeschooling year is oragnized, but could you just NOT school for a week..or three?

Just some thoughts.

[meowee]

My daughter wanted to go to school and I was going insane homeschooling her. She also wasn't learning much at home (despite my efforts). She initially liked school but after three months begged to return to homeschool. She did, and things have been more peaceful. Right now I might put my 5 y.o. in kindy and keep my older 2 home to homeschool... not sure, I will keep you updated. I really wish my daughter had continued to like school. Getting her back and forth was a nightmare and I did miss her terribly during the day, but it was a huge psychological weight off of me to know her education was being shared with other people, and not just me.

[almama]

I came to your thread because I struggle with the thought that public school might be a better option for my 6 yo (and the rest of us!!). Right now I'm on the homeschool side of the fence, but I do keep my options open.

Please take this advice or leave it, since you asked for public school supporters, but I saw the ages of your kids and wondered if you had looked into Enki (http://www.enkieducation.org/). We're in the middle of a move right now, but otherwise I would definately be implementing it. It is a structured, but not oppressive, approach to homeschooling (your kids have room for lots of exploration, but there is a rythym both to the day and to the work). It is not unschooling, but it definately not workbook driven either. My friend who is trying it out loves it. I don't know if I could do it for 4th grade plus, but for the younger years it seems fabulous.

[USAmma]

(((HUGS))) Maybe you all just need to learn to have fun again. Can you take a "late spring break?" Maybe call a family meeting with your kids, help them identify the problem, help them think of solutions, write out the brainstorming on a big whiteboard or poster board. Hopefully it will give them a chance to vent.

I put my dd in charter school last fall. I was happy homeschooling her and she was very happy, too, but I decided to go back to school myself. I felt it was too much to take on with her education and mine at the same time. Although I probably spend as much time driving her to/from school and helping with homework as I did when I was schooling her at home, I don't have to organize the details and make plans and put much energy into it. She is in a great school and has a wonderful teacher. She is very happy there and doing great. I had a very hard time sending her at first, I was not used to knowing exactly what she did every day. But over time I learned to trust her teacher and now I'm okay with it.

Good luck!

[LookMommy!]

My kids are older, and the first two had been in school before I took them out for 3 years. My son's therapist (he has PDD) felt he wasn't being challenged enough at home emotionally and socially, and she pushed me to put him in school. My dh also was not supportive of homeschool. My dd was 7th grade age and decided to start junior high (everyone was new, not just her) at an alternative school with her best friend, since she was bored at home socially. DD5 was ready and eager for Kindy, and I was having trouble making sure she was exposed to enough Hebrew (dominant language).

You know, it's not so bad. Some of the people I most admire went to school. Some of the families which I most admire manage to send their kids to school and still spend quality time together. It's not a given that it will be negative.

I love when they come home excited about what they've done that day. I love when they are included in social activities. I love when they describe a teacher who they like and who supports them. I love when they are proud of their work. I love when they learn something it wouldn't have occured to me to expose them too. I love when they leave happily in the morning, and I have the peace and quiet I need to recharge and be a better mom for them when they come home. I love when they're home on vacation, because it is even more special than when they used to be home all the time.

It's a difficult decision - good luck!

[*clementine*]

I was reading your thread and my dd (13) walked by and started reading over my shoulder. Her comment: "Hmmm....sounds like YOU Mom."

[muse]

We're homeschooling this year, taking it a year at a time. About a month ago amidst many stressors I decided I should open up the school option again and we applied to public and private schools. Even after seeing some good private schools I was very surprised that ds said he would like to continue homeschooling.Then he got a spot at public school and - even more to my surprise - after visiting there decided that was where he wanted to be. At that point I was so overwhelmed by the decision making I told him it was up to him, that he could try school if he wants.

Now I kind of regret that because I'm not at all convinced that that would be a good situation for him. He is flourishing at home and does best in small groups and 1:1.

So I am looking at ways to find a compromise and some balance. I would like to start a cottage school situation where a group of homeschoolers hire a teacher a couple of days a week. The kids get the group and teacher experience and us parents get a break/time to work.

Maybe there's the option of something like that where you are?

I also second the sugesstion of taking a spring break; we've been doing that the past couple of weeks and it's helped me lighten up more.

BTW, We are using Enki Education - as mentioned by almama - and I highly recommend it.I think it engages a child on such a different level than worksheets, etc.

almama, where in the bay area are you? there are a number of us using Enki in the area, always happy to meet more.