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DD says "I love you" 30 times a day  

post #1 of 45
4/19/07 at 11:36am
Thread Starter 
That may sound sweet at first but I'm starting to get concerned. She seems to say "I love you" when she's seeking approval, when she's doing something she knows she shouldn't, or if she's just bored. The biggest red flag for me is that I've heard her say it to friends' parents twice this week. I don't want to be super anal about it but I'm thinking about starting a log to record when she says it to see if I can notice a pattern.

Has anyone else experienced this? It's wonderful to hear your child say "I love you" but to hear it that often seems excessive and I'm worried that there's an underlying issue that I need to address.
post #2 of 45
4/19/07 at 1:12pm
I'm sure it depends on her age but I bet its just a phase. My DH and I will both say I love you to our children many times a day and when my DD does cute things or smart things I have a tendency to tell her I love her and I think she takes it out of context at times. She often tells her teacher she loves her and other people in the family, but usually only people who are close to us. I figure its a good phase to go through if she has to go through one. I'd rather her not being saying or doing something negative. She doesn't do it excessively to the point of worrying about it.
post #3 of 45
4/19/07 at 1:14pm
Thread Starter 
My dd is also 4. Maybe it's the age?
post #4 of 45
4/19/07 at 2:34pm
My dd is almost 5 and she says "I love you" all the time. I've noticed that she seems to say it when she wants to talk but can't think of anything else to say. She seems to have this very strong need to talk all the time but sometimes she just can't come up with anything to say so she falls back on "I love you" especially since she knows we'll say it back to her. I'm not really concerned with it just a little annoyed. I never thought I could be sick of hearing someone say they love me!
post #5 of 45
4/19/07 at 2:50pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by librarydragon View Post
I'm not really concerned with it just a little annoyed. I never thought I could be sick of hearing someone say they love me!
Whew!!!! I'm right there with you. Glad I'm not the only one.
post #6 of 45
4/19/07 at 2:53pm
Count my dd in...I've noticed it's more now since her sister was born. This makes me wonder if it's an attention thing too. I've made it a point to set time aside for her as well as reassure her I love her and always will.
post #7 of 45
4/19/07 at 2:54pm
Wow...my 3.5 dd also does this! She also says "You're so lovely" a lot! I asked her what lovely meant she said "love":
So sweet...but yes it can get old after hearing it all day long, but I tend to feel it is a phase.
post #8 of 45
4/19/07 at 2:59pm
Thread Starter 
My dd has two younger siblings. I'm thinking that sometimes "I love you" really means "I need you to notice just ME for a second." She has started saying it to her 2 yo sister also. I wish her sister could say it back. (All in good time)
post #9 of 45
4/19/07 at 3:47pm
Maybe she is feeling how you describe and she is saying I love you as a question like 'I love YOU, do you love ME?

All you can do is reassure her that you do and wait for the next thing to come along. My 4 yo talks just to hear her own voice I'm sure and has gone through phases of verbal 'tics' which drive us all crazy.
post #10 of 45
4/19/07 at 4:08pm
actually i'm the one in our family who says it ALLL the time. and yeah sometimes i actually jst want to talk and can't think of anything else to say. or i just need to connect for a minute. and sometimes its just because i feel needy. and then sometimes i just look at my family and have so much love it comes out verbally.

maybe your dd has differrent reasons a t differrent times.
post #11 of 45
4/19/07 at 5:25pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by librarydragon View Post
My dd is almost 5 and she says "I love you" all the time. I've noticed that she seems to say it when she wants to talk but can't think of anything else to say. She seems to have this very strong need to talk all the time but sometimes she just can't come up with anything to say so she falls back on "I love you" especially since she knows we'll say it back to her. I'm not really concerned with it just a little annoyed. I never thought I could be sick of hearing someone say they love me!
Rylie is 4.5 and has been doing this for awhile . . . I am pretty sure it is largely an issue of boredom/wanting to talk, but it can get annoying and also a bit unnerving . . . like she doesn't feel loved even though we are always hugging and loving on her.

I'm pretty sure it is normal, though!
post #12 of 45
4/19/07 at 5:28pm
Thread Starter 
Has anyone else noticed that it's all girls so far that are doing this? Any mamas of ds's that say "I love you" to the extreme?
post #13 of 45
4/19/07 at 5:40pm
i thought my DD was the only one who did this. i think its been leveling off a little bit now, or im better at not hearing it every time it is said to people.
post #14 of 45
4/19/07 at 5:46pm
my ds is 4 and constantly says 'i love you sweet darling mummy' and also says 'you are the most sweetest mummy in the world'!! constantly!
post #15 of 45
4/19/07 at 7:37pm
My son also has a need to talk and says I love you a zillion times a day. Usually it goes like this:
me (on phone or talking to someone else)
J: Mommy.
J: Mommy.
J: Mommy.
J: Mom.
J: Mommy!
me: YES?
J: Umm... I love you.
post #16 of 45
4/19/07 at 10:10pm
My ds did this when he was almost 4 and it drove us nuts. It was a verbal tic more than anything, he would say it really fast and with little enunciation. It was never looking at me and saying "I love you mommy" it was always just the monotone, rapid Iloveyou. He would also say it if he got caught doing something he know he shouldn't be into, lol.
Dh and I tried to ride it out but we got so sick of it. I finally told him that it is a special phrase that people say to mean that they really care about each other, and not something you say constantly. Sounds a bit harsh, I know, but after several months of it I couldn's handle it anymore.
post #17 of 45
4/19/07 at 10:15pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by hottmama View Post
My son also has a need to talk and says I love you a zillion times a day. Usually it goes like this:
me (on phone or talking to someone else)
J: Mommy.
J: Mommy.
J: Mommy.
J: Mom.
J: Mommy!
me: YES?
J: Umm... I love you.
Hey, we have that exact conversation at least 50 times a day!
post #18 of 45
4/19/07 at 10:31pm
Wow, I cant wait for my 2.5 yr old DD to be at that stage! And I am very sure I'll never get sick of it. (friends with older kids used to tell me that when DD starts learning how to call 'mummy', I'll be sick of hearing it a million times a day, well they're wrong, I am loving all that million times a day right now. )
post #19 of 45
4/19/07 at 11:20pm

argh!

dd is 9 and she does this constantly, alternated with every time she enters a room she says 'hi mom.'

drives me batty!

You don't need to say hi a thousand times a day. The I love you I'm sure is like someone else mentioned earlier, "I love you do you love me" is what she means. Just one of the issues we'll be working with in therapy, since she is insecure and I am someone who reacts badly to emotional manipulation due to my own baggage.

8(
post #20 of 45
4/19/07 at 11:41pm
Dude, I waited 31 years to hear that beautiful phrase from the innocent mouth of my children. We have told them since birth that we love them multiple times a day. DH and I tell each other that we love each in front of the kids several times a day. We just LOVE to LOVE. We know and feel this is healthy in our home.
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