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Any Mommy's have Aspergers? - Page 2

post #21 of 103
4/21/07 at 4:28pm
Thanks, that book is on my 'list' at the library
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post #22 of 103
4/21/07 at 4:59pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by meowee View Post

I type a lot at the keyboad but I am practically mute IRL.

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oh man, this is totally me. until recently, i couldnt figure it out...but after reading about aspergers it kind of makes more sense...though i still dont completely understand why i am like this?

does anyone know how you go about getting diagnosed with aspergers? i have an appointment with a psychiatrist in a week, for anxiety. in the past i was told i was bipolar (which im not), and depressed with anxiety (which i am), but i think there is more to it. after reading about aspergers, i feel like i kind of "found myself". everything just sort of fell into place. i have always always had trouble making friends, and to this day only have about 2 friends. i am very critical and always have a need to correct people, not realizing that can come off as pretty rude. i am obssessed with correcting things, and researching things. so is a psychiatrist the person that dx's aspergers?
post #23 of 103
4/21/07 at 5:03pm
I'd like to ask the other AS/ HFA mothers how they can do things cooperatively/ as a team with their kids? I find it unbearable to do anything with a partner/ on a team and this is a constant struggle for me... I want to do science experiments and cook with my kids but I'm on the verge of melting down every time I try. I've always been like this-- I can work either in complete isolation, or not at all.
post #24 of 103
4/21/07 at 5:08pm
natalia-- a neurologist or psychiatrist can diagnose Asperger's but be prepared for complete ignorance on the part of many clinicians. Also you might want to reconsider a formal diagnosis as it could be considered a "pre existing condition" if you ever need new health insurance, and (god forbid) it could be used against you in a custody dispute if you ever found yourself in one, or (again god forbid) if you are ever targeted by social services.

Also: bipolar is THE most common misdiagnosis for aspies, especially male aspies. Borderline (for females) and somewhat so schizophrenia are probably second and third as misdiagnoses for adult aspies.
post #25 of 103
4/21/07 at 5:17pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by meowee View Post
natalia-- a neurologist or psychiatrist can diagnose Asperger's but be prepared for complete ignorance on the part of many clinicians. Also you might want to reconsider a formal diagnosis as it could be considered a "pre existing condition" if you ever need new health insurance, and (god forbid) it could be used against you in a custody dispute if you ever found yourself in one, or (again god forbid) if you are ever targeted by social services.

Also: bipolar is THE most common misdiagnosis for aspies, especially male aspies. Borderline (for females) and somewhat so schizophrenia are probably second and third as misdiagnoses for adult aspies.
wow....ok...i am with you on the "formal diagnosis" thing. i cant believe i didnt think of those things. i also didnt realize that could be used as a pre existing condition.
well now im kind of dissapointed. i was hoping after the appointment i could tell everyone the reason for my behavior all of my life is bc im apies though i have a feeling the doctor wont be too familiar with apergers anyway.
post #26 of 103
4/21/07 at 7:04pm
Has anyone read Women from Another Planet? That is my favorite ASC-themed book so far.



Quote:
Originally Posted by meowee View Post
I'd like to ask the other AS/ HFA mothers how they can do things cooperatively/ as a team with their kids? I find it unbearable to do anything with a partner/ on a team and this is a constant struggle for me... I want to do science experiments and cook with my kids but I'm on the verge of melting down every time I try. I've always been like this-- I can work either in complete isolation, or not at all.
I mostly do things alongside my kids (parallel play, if you will). That doesn't bother me as much as actual cooperative work.
post #27 of 103
4/21/07 at 7:05pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by nataliachick7 View Post
wow....ok...i am with you on the "formal diagnosis" thing. i cant believe i didnt think of those things. i also didnt realize that could be used as a pre existing condition.
well now im kind of dissapointed. i was hoping after the appointment i could tell everyone the reason for my behavior all of my life is bc im apies though i have a feeling the doctor wont be too familiar with apergers anyway.
You can still tell people that even if you don't have diagnostic papers. Many adult Asperger autistics are self-diagnosed.
post #28 of 103
4/21/07 at 8:03pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brigianna View Post
You can still tell people that even if you don't have diagnostic papers. Many adult Asperger autistics are self-diagnosed.
my mother will roll her eyes im sure, she is pretty difficult. and the others...well they might just look at me like i am crazy. so i guess maybe i just wont say anything....
post #29 of 103
4/21/07 at 9:07pm
I'm subscribing to this thread even though I'm not on the spectrum myself....at least anymore. As a child I disctincly remember spinning around in circles for hours and hours. And lining up my toys. I'm sure I even have pictures of this somewhere. Anyway, I still have to catch myself sometimes from lining things up when I see them scattered somewhere. It wasn't until my dd was dx'ed with Pdd-nos that I realized these behaviours were considered red flags....I was like, uhhhh.

I do have a dx of ADD, a severe math disability that I was in special ed for and that is all. I've never had the social issues that would put me on the spectrum. I'm sure I have a little bit of processing stuff as well, because sometimes I can be staring right at someone and I'll have to ask them "what?" a few times, even though I heard what they said and was looking right at them. I also have a bad habit of trailing off at the end of my sentences.

My mom has been dx'ed with AS and I'm sure my dad has it too, even though he hasn't been diagnosed.
post #30 of 103
4/21/07 at 9:16pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brigianna View Post
I mostly do things alongside my kids (parallel play, if you will). That doesn't bother me as much as actual cooperative work.
I usually do that ("I'll do my thing, you do your thing, we'll just enjoy being in each other's company) but my kids are all so clingy and needy, they're always begging for more... I feel terrible because I know my NT daughter especially would love to do teamwork things. I really want to teach them all to cook but the closest I've been able to come is to give them directions from across the room. I only have the severe issues with physical proximity when I'm trying to "do something"/ i.e. complete a task. I can cuddle them and hug them, but if I am even doing something as simple as straightening out the sofa cover, I go bizerk (usually just inwardly!) if someone tries to interact with me, talk to me, or even be physically close to me.
post #31 of 103
4/21/07 at 9:21pm
Thread Starter 
I do a lot of parallel play with ds too...he's just now himself wanting the interaction...up until a few months ago he'd ask you to come play with him, but freak if you actually touched the toys. It drives me kind of batty playing with him because its all scripted play and he wants me to say the same 3 lines from whatever movie he is obsessed with atm 27 times. I usually have to limit him and tell him "ok Trupe, Mommy's only going to say it one more time, then its time to move on" otherwise Mommy doesn't want to play anymore and feels like she is abandoning her son. We've also put a new limit on his movies, he can only watch his movie twice and then has to pick a new one (he doesn't sit and watch a movie all day, he just likes it on in the background usually).

Its good to know that a lot of adult AS are self-diagnosed. I thought maybe I was a freak for doing it. Its interesting that you mention that AS are misdiagnosed as schizophrenic because dh was starting to really worry about me this summer and told me he thought I was turning schizophrenic. Poor guy, he was pretty scared.
post #32 of 103
4/21/07 at 9:23pm
Thread Starter 
One thing that has helped me spend some quality time with ds is to either color pictures for/with him, or play games online (we just got the trial preschool thingie on playhousedisney). He gets his "feeling close" in and I don't actually have to come up with ideas.
post #33 of 103
4/21/07 at 9:50pm
Oh-- I love chatting with my kids via MSN. We're just lazy about scheduling it because they like using their computer time for video games. IMing is great because I can have contact and privacy at the same time.
post #34 of 103
4/21/07 at 10:45pm
I'm an Aspie mommy , too My father has Aspergers as well. ASD seems to run in my family. It ranges from mild issues, to severe Autism.
post #35 of 103
4/21/07 at 11:33pm
There's a really good statement by autistics.org on self-diagnosed adult autistics here. It might set some of your minds at ease that yes, many people do self-diagnose.

I will tell you that a lot of people consider an autism dx to be "trendy" these days, or they have symptoms in your mind that are specific to children and so think that you can't be autistic because you don't do those things.

Having a dx is both good and bad. I don't have a childhood dx, but I have one of those mid-70s dx'es that everyone considers to be a spectrum dx.

I'm eagerly looking for advice on how to play with/relate to the kids. I have one NT daughter, and I've often felt that I don't "play" with her as much as I should.

Do any of you homeschool an NT child? How does that work out?
post #36 of 103
4/21/07 at 11:52pm
No official dx here, but DH and I both have a lot of Asperger-like tendencies. (DS #1 has an Asperger's dx.) So we can see how the apple has definitely not fallen from the tree. I was an early talker and reader, but always had trouble making (and keeping) friends -- never seemed to get a lot of the social nuances. I thought of myself as incredibly shy, but I often later came to learn that others just thought I was a stuck up snob. I still just don't understand the whole idea of making small talk just to be friendly w/someone you don't really know and aren't going to have continued contact with. Seems like a whole lot of effort with very little return. I have to rehearse what I'm going to say to people. (And even so, it still doesn't tend to turn our the way I'd like.) Casual conversation does not come naturally to me -- unless it's in my current area of obession -- breastfeeding, natural childbirth and attachment parenting/natural family living. I have sensory and anxiety issues, too. (My dad has a lot of these issues, too -- so I think there must definitely be some genetics at play, here. DH has some relatives with Asperger-like traits, too.) I haven't seen the need to dx myself or DH, but learning more about Asperger's as it pertains to DS #1 has really given me a lot of insight into myself, my DH and our relationship.
post #37 of 103
4/22/07 at 2:35am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Individuation View Post
Do any of you homeschool an NT child? How does that work out?
I homeschool my mostly-NT 4 yr old son, but he also goes to play-based preschool 3 days a week because I can't keep up with his sociability. I don't know what I'm going to do when he gets too old for the preschool group, because I'm not putting him in school, but he'll be bored to tears at home with us all day. So this is still being worked out. And of course the babies, neurotype not yet known, are at home, as well as my Aspergic 7 yr old daughter. I'm really hoping to find something post-preschool, less than school, more than extracurricular activity to meet Eli's social needs next year.
post #38 of 103
4/22/07 at 3:07am
A few years ago, I discovered that I get very high scores on those "Do you have Asperger's?" online quizzes. Although I've always known I was different, I was surprised by this label, mostly because I don't seem to have much in common with the small group of friends and family members whom I've always suspected of being Aspergerish. But then, they're all men, and I've heard that AS manifests itself differently in women. (Can anyone recommend some books that do a good job of explaining this? Your own two cents worth would be appreciated, as well. Everything I've read online has been pretty vague on the subject.)

To complicate matters further, I'm considered "highly gifted" (IQ 150+, don't know the exact figure), and, after reading the descriptions in the book Misdiagnosis and Dual Diagnosis of Gifted Children and Adults, it sounds as if I don't have AS at all; it's just that I don't have a suitable peer group to relate to. But I was in a full-time gifted program throughout middle and high school, and I was still one of the "strange ones." Most of my friends were in the regular program, and they were usually either neurologically quirky themselves (one was suspected austistic as a young child; another is dyslexic/ADHD; another is classic AS, though AFAIK not diagnosed); or intensely devoted to music, drama, or computers; or from families where, for cultural reasons, their parents never let them socialize after school. We were a sort of "underclass" with our own parallel social life, or lack thereof. Within that group, though, I seemed to fit in just fine.

So, anyway, I have no clue whether I have AS, or I'm just a giant nerd.
post #39 of 103
4/22/07 at 3:04pm
I've suspected for a really long time that something was wrong with me, but didn't know it could be Asperger's until DS2 got diagnosed with autism. Once I started seeing all the signs and doing all the reading it made sense. I have never been diagnosed with anything but depression, but then again I have never pursued a diagnosis and I don't think it would do me any benefit other than to say, aha, that's what's going on.
I can say that as a child I was PAINFULLY shy, just couldn't deal with people and couldn't handle looking them in the eye. As an adult, I do OK in non-social situations such as work ( I work at a bookstore so my contact with people is frequent but very brief and limited), but to suggest that I go on a date or to a party in a room full of people I don't know... forget it. I'd rather break every bone in my body, I could never do it. It seems to have gotten worse as I get older too. I do have some friendly acquaintances from work,a dn one gal even invited me out for coffee some time which I would probably accept because she and I get along well and she is very chatty so the brunt of the conversation falls on her, not me, but other than that I have no IRL firends at all. The internet is pretty much my only social link. And I still have trouble making eye contact, I know this sounds weird, but sometimes it actually hurts to look someone in the eye, strange huh?
My biggest problem is in trying to communicate with others. I am really quiet until I get to know someone really well, and then I have a problem with constantly interrupting them. I try so hard not to but I just can't keep my mouth shut, then they get p*ssed and say something then I'm back to being quiet again, it is so hard to try to talk to people IRL, sometimes I just don't bother with it unless I absolutely have to.
I also have quite a few sensory issues too.Mostly tactile and oral. There are foods I simply can not put in my mouth, and things I can not touch. And if one hand gets wet the other hast to get wet too or it drives me insane.I also have the spatial awareness problem. It didn't even click until one of the other mama's posted about the block designs, but I was administered an IQ test in my 20's and could not do this activity at all. It had me completely stumped. I also can't do other activities that involve spatial awareness and eye hand coordination.
So in a nutshull, I guess I don't know. Maybe it is Aspie, maybe it some type of social phobia disorder, I guess I would be interested in hearing from some other mamas as to what they think I have. :

Namaste,

Michelle
post #40 of 103
4/22/07 at 5:33pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by wytchywoman View Post
I
My biggest problem is in trying to communicate with others. I am really quiet until I get to know someone really well, and then I have a problem with constantly interrupting them. I try so hard not to but I just can't keep my mouth shut, then they get p*ssed and say something then I'm back to being quiet again, it is so hard to try to talk to people IRL, sometimes I just don't .
So in a nutshull, I guess I don't know.
this is me exactly! i dont know why i do it....i just cant help it!!
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