Calling all Parents of Multiples

[dswmom]

An acquaintance of mine has twins who were born at 24 weeks. They are just now home from the hospital after multiple surgeries and I want to help her in some way. I've been told that diapers are definitely needed, which I will be getting for her today, but is there anything else you experienced mommas can think of that I can get for her family? I'm sure food is always a great help too, so got that covered.

Thanks!

[Jish]

I'm going to move this to the Parenting Multiples board for you.

[dswmom]

Thanks Jish

I knew there was a section like this, but looked right over it. Thank you for transferring it for me!

[GoodWillHunter]

A spare pair of hands and possibly, some time on her own to take a bath, a walk, etc.. Your love and support will be remembered forever. I remember when I was home alone with a 5 year old and NB twins. I had a neighbor who would miraculously show up at bedtime almost every night. She was a LIFESAVER. I have considered her a very close friend since!

Having babes that were that sick is very stressful, she'll want to talk about all the surgeries, all the nurses, the NICU, etc etc. It's a blessing to have someone listen.

[amnesiac]

Diapers are good, food is good (especially things that freeze well & can be quickly warmed). One big thing though is that after all the emotional turmoil of having babies in the hospital for so long & then the stress of having both come home, it can be really hard to adjust emotionally (because it can be very isolating) as well as keep from getting bogged down with all the little daily things we usually take for granted. It's helpful in a practical way & also just emotionally to have someone stop by for a little while just to hang out & talk to you while they maybe fold some laundry or help you make your grocery list or tidy the bathrooms or put away the dishes in the dishwasher. All those little things can tend to pile up during those first few months.

[angie6]

Here is what was important to me:
1) diapers and wipes
2) Food prepared for us
3) Someone to shop for me (trying to take two infants out is so difficult and society will not leave her alone with twins and if they have been sick I would want to avoid the public as long as possible!)
4) Friends, Friends and more friends to talk to!
5) Even though we do not and probably will not ask for help we need it around the house! I put my oldest 3 children to work doing daily chores and that took a huge burden off of me!
6) Giving her down time just for her is another great suggestion!
7) If she is planning on feeding solids from a jar give her a huge starter supply and lots of bibs, baby spoons and bowls. I went through 6 + bibs per day and 6 bowls and spoons per day just for the twins. A stock of baby cereal would also be great so she doesn't have to worry about going out when she gets to the solid point.
*****8) Most important remember the health of the mom and babies! If you are sick do not come around until you are 100% and try to make sure others do the same. Taking care of two sick infants is a nightmare and when you get sick on top of it it is even worse! I even ended up putting a sign on the door because people really were inconsiderate about it (mostly my MIL) and would come over sick.
9) If there are siblings take the other children for one-on-one outings or even for overnight or a few days so mom can just concentrate on the twins.
10) If she did not have baby showers coordinate one for her and call it a diaper, wipe, baby bath product shower only! We had 2 of them and I didn't have to buy diapers for a year!

Hope this helps!
Angie

[seanjoshmom]

amen to shopping and laundry, and washing dishes or bottles if she uses them!

[dswmom]

Thanks for all the suggestions! I know how important it was for me to have meals made when I was first home with one baby, so I can only imagine how important it is with two! And of course, diapers, diapers, diapers.

I just found out that the little ones are doing very good considering all they've been through and the mom is bf away keeping them healthy--YEAH

[3 little birds]

Gift certificates for takeout or prepared meals are the best! I was alone all the time and would have given anything for a baby holder and some company (that didnt need to be waited on).

[Amandzia]

carring for a new twin mom

Twin Moms appreciate help for the first whole year. Don't be afraid of offering a meal, a bathroom wipe down, or a friendly ear for the first year. It's hard to get out of the house when you are newly with twins and you can feel isolated. I think it's great that you want to help.
I felt abandoned by the ninth month. People didn't think I needed any help and going anywhere was such a hastle. I finally dragged myself to LLL one morning when they were 10 mo. old. I must have looked like something the cat dragged in. But moms need the company of other moms, especially twin moms.