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Poor Family Support Tribe- NO DEBATE - Page 37

post #721 of 832
Thread Starter 
What frickin next?

I get in the car, start it up ad as soon as I turn the wheel a tiny bit it starts shimmying and making a grinding noise.

I was taking Kailey to school so HAD to drive it. It made the noise everytime I turned (left or right). There is a whirring noise going on as well.

The thing is, I didn't drive it all weekend, but Mark did (to and from the store abd out a block away and he only has enough gas for today and mine was full).

So you can't tell me that this morning is the first time the noise started. What most likely happened is that he turns the wheel all the way and the CVS line broke. Another reason he shouldn'drive the Toyota. And when he started hearing the noise, IF he heard at all, he just ignores it and hopes it goes away cause we have no money to replace it, or he doesn't tell me thinking I am going to freak out on him.

If this was his car he wouldn't say a thing and just drive it into the ground. Well, sorry buddy, come tomorrow and your pay day, it's going to get fixed.

I just called our mechanic and he said it would be about $160. Guess we won't have phone service for a bit, but oh well. Or something else will go.

I am pissed beyond belief. We still haven't paid this months rent and Mark refuses to stay in touch with our landlord (who does not respond to me at all- he is old fashioned and thinks the man should take care of "business").

I am so irritated right now.

He applies online yesterday for 4 jobs. E-mailed his resume, but no cover letters

WTF is wrong with him?
post #722 of 832
thank you so much for restoring our thread!


thystle - we aren't starving or even going without. this little family is healthy (well, ok, we have colds...) and well nourished, we just have a bit of a boring diet. we live very, very carefully and don't get many extras but manage to (for the most part) avoid debt and homelessness and hunger. until i got too pregnant we were getting food from the food bank, but i can't carry everything home on my poor, sore back any more. we'll start going there again when the baby is born. this is all to say that we're doing ok. we're blessed with a comfortable home and good friends. i've planted a small garden so in the fall we'll have beets, potatoes, onions, carrots, peas, beans and chili peppers coming out our ears. i only wish i could grow chocolate!
this is all to say that you need not worry about me & mine. we stuggle, but it's a struggle that we're used to and can handle. if i ever need help to get by i know i can ask for help. in the meantime i'll just occasionally b!+ch about all those friggin' rice & beans.

about the stroller - we did report it and we found out what to do if we find it in a pawnshop. so now we're going to call around to the different pawn shops until we find where it was sold to and call the cops to go get it for us. we don't have the serial # so it won't definitley work, but it's a hope. and like i said before, we can get by without it, but it's such a luxury, you know? so hopefully we can recover it. thanks for all the sympthy and concern, mamas!

pottydiva - it's just one thing after another for you lately, isn't it? your hubby sounds so frustrating. good for you, getting through it all. things won't be like this forever, you know. suckiness of this type doesn't usually last forever. keep on truckin', mama!

today's sucky news
(this is where i come to vent, i don't want to drag other threads and boards down with the ongoing crap that occurs, you know?) is that my shift yesterday was cancelled. today's likely will be, too. my other job has given me the weekend off this coming weekend, the clients will be away. so when all is said and done i'm getting a week off without pay, not of my choosing. but everything will be ok in the end because
a) i worked a little extra last week, maybe an extra 6 hours or so. it counts.
b) my dad is coming all the way from the west coast to visit the following weekend and he's undoubtedly going to find sneaky ways to fill our fridge with meat and other 'goodies', take us out for meals, and do other sneaky, loving, generous things for us.
c) i finally got paid for some stuff i sold on ebay ages ago , and more payments should be coming soon from an awful non-paying ebayer. my confidence in ebay is somewhat restored and i'll probably post more stuff there soon.
d) there was a bit of money left in the account when i got paid last (instead of it being drained to the last dime like it usually is) and a bill was less than i was anticipating, so we have a small cushion to get us through a work-free week
e) dha nd i never see one another, so this weekend we're going for our 2nd date since ds was born. it'll be our last date until the baby comes, too, so i'm looking forward to it. we'll go to the 2$ theatre and eat junk food and watch crappy hollywood fun. i can't wait.

there's my daily book! thanks to anyone who read down this far!
post #723 of 832
So glad to see the thread back! Sorry to have added to the ruckus.

Potty Diva...it so stinks that when one has a car, one has car problems. Our car had started making a funny noise that seemed to have to do with tire joints or something but we had 0$ to do anything at all, and now we have even less $ than 0 to do anything to fix it.

josybear
- Glad to hear at least the stroller has some hope of being found, and that your ebayer is paying you in part at least. I've lucked out and never had a non-paying bidder. I have problems with ebay itself And hey gotta love that "sneaky" dad of yours

On top of not having enough money for everything we need...Dh's hours were cut drastically this weekend on top of not being able to get there when they did want him, ugh, I dont even want to know what this weeks paycheck is going to look like. If it is over $100 I'll be shocked. But, again, we should be getting DH's granfather's car today..and spend our last $60 on the phone/internet bill...it will be more expensive if they cut it and we pay extra to have it back on kwim? And I NEED the phone. I'm thinking of applying for aid just to help with the phone bill, as that is something that is available through DSS...and we get a great deal as it is ($35/mo unlimited long distance and regional and EVERYONE I know that I hold dear is at least a regional call away so...)

And I want to keep the internet on so I can keep looking into/apply to online courses...I dont' want to have to trek to the library all the way downtown to take care of it....

Ok kids need me...
post #724 of 832
I found out what was wrong with my car. It ran out of gas.:

It wasn't all my fault though. The gas guage wasn't working right, and it's only about $75 to fix it.

I'd still like to sell this car and replace it with something smaller and more fuel-efficient, but at least now the pressure is off.
post #725 of 832
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruthla View Post
I found out what was wrong with my car. It ran out of gas.:
When I was 19, I couldn't get my car to start. I was in a parking lot, the car had ran fine to get there, but the engine just wasn't turning over. I know NOTHING about cars, and was fairly panicked. I ended up calling my father (who was verbally abusive and considered me stupid beyond all belief, even before this) to come and take a look at it. He drove there, took a look under the hood, and then put the car into park. It started right up. For some bizarre reason, I had left it in drive and turned it off. That's one mistake I never made again.

I'm glad it was nothing big with your car.
post #726 of 832
Thread Starter 
I just realized I have a bad check out there somewhere and don't know who I should call to pay it.

Off to call the bank.
post #727 of 832
Ruthla - I have to say I'm sorry that I laughed out loud. $75 is a lot, but at least it wasn't some awful monstrous broken part or something. We had a car with a broken gauge once...only I think it was the speedometer Dh had to hope the guy in front of him wasn't speeding.
post #728 of 832
I really should know better than to think about the future. Even things like the Tightwad Gazette mentions retirement more than I can comfortably deal with. Thinking about retirement makes my stomach do a little flop. I'm 29, Mark is 32, and we have NO retirement savings. No mutual funds, no 401k, not even a savings account. I KNOW it's irresponsible, but there's no extra money so what can we do? We could put some money aside so we can eat when we're 65, but that means not eating NOW. I don't know how we're going to survive when we're seniors. :

I try my best not to think about it. Ignoring a problem has never made it go away but I don't know what more we can do.
post #729 of 832
Sorry I haven't been around. Honestly, I'm getting panic-y thinking about having to move in 2.5 weeks.. with no where to go. And we can't afford a couple of bills. On top of that, even with coupons, groceries are sky high due to gas prices.. I just want to dissolve into my puddle of tears. (And we tried applying with Modest Needs, but they won't approve our app until we show them a lease for a new place.. sigh..)

I'm just trying to keep my mind off of all of this.. but that's difficult, being I'm looking for a place to live so many hours of the day. This is getting incredibly depressing. I keep wondering when our break is going to come. I "invested" my $50 birthday money from the IL's into a tank of gas.. MIL got on me, telling me to spend it on myself.. but I don't need anything.. and gas is a necessity for all of us, so.. /vent over

Sorry.. I'm just trying to get a grasp of the situation we're in, but I am just wanting to in turn - run away!

I just called about the house we applied for LAST Wednesday. The guy said they were making a decision by this Friday. That'll be almost 1.5 weeks after we applied. Not everyone has forever to wait. I was nice to him, but darn it, I just wanted to cry. If we find another place in the mean time (fat chance, but I can hope..), can we apply? What if we got both? Grrrrrr.
post #730 of 832
Quote:
Originally Posted by Potty Diva View Post
What frickin next?

I get in the car, start it up ad as soon as I turn the wheel a tiny bit it starts shimmying and making a grinding noise.

I was taking Kailey to school so HAD to drive it. It made the noise everytime I turned (left or right). There is a whirring noise going on as well.

The thing is, I didn't drive it all weekend, but Mark did (to and from the store abd out a block away and he only has enough gas for today and mine was full).

So you can't tell me that this morning is the first time the noise started. What most likely happened is that he turns the wheel all the way and the CVS line broke. Another reason he shouldn'drive the Toyota. And when he started hearing the noise, IF he heard at all, he just ignores it and hopes it goes away cause we have no money to replace it, or he doesn't tell me thinking I am going to freak out on him.

If this was his car he wouldn't say a thing and just drive it into the ground. Well, sorry buddy, come tomorrow and your pay day, it's going to get fixed.

I just called our mechanic and he said it would be about $160. Guess we won't have phone service for a bit, but oh well. Or something else will go.

I am pissed beyond belief. We still haven't paid this months rent and Mark refuses to stay in touch with our landlord (who does not respond to me at all- he is old fashioned and thinks the man should take care of "business").

I am so irritated right now.

He applies online yesterday for 4 jobs. E-mailed his resume, but no cover letters

WTF is wrong with him?

PD so sorry you are having a rough time.

DH sends out resumes w/o cover letters all the time. His resume speaks for itself and he gets good responses that way. DH isnt applying for teaching positions though and most of his resumes go from networking.

I asked DH about your car, he said a short drive "right down the street' shouldn't have broken anything, and turning the wheel 'all the way' shouldnt break anything either. Cars are tested with a turning radius, meaning the wheel goes all the way for a reason.

As for the landlord it sounds like he is discriminating against you, something that is NOT allowed to happen. Id say either he deals with you, assuming you are on the lease, or you report him to the housing authority.

It also sounds like you and Mark have different views on how to do almost 100% of things which can be very stressful at times. I dont know if there is a solution to that. I am very fortunate that DH and I get along most of the time, normally I dont care what DH does. I guess a person can only worry and take care of themselves, and other adults must do the same.

Good luck PD, things have to get better
post #731 of 832
Ubermama, have you contacted United Way?

I know out here, they do all their work through catholic charities, but when I was in IN, you could contact them directly and they were an AMAZING resource for me

I couldn't have made it without them.

I'm mighty good with google, if you want to pm me your location, I can see what other resources I can dig up?
post #732 of 832
Quote:
Originally Posted by Unreal View Post

I'm mighty good with google, if you want to pm me your location, I can see what other resources I can dig up?
: She is the google queen, and always faster than me when we "race" to find stuff
post #733 of 832

My mother is a Godsend.

She called my up to say that she sent me a money order for $800!!! Her reasoning was that she "made me go to Boston" and that she didn't get the time off to babysit so I could work from her house. It's true, though I did want to go, I was short on money and didn't end up getting to work at all that week. She told me it's NOT a loan. I'm also supposed to call some of the places my ex owes money to (but the bills are in my name) to get copies of the bills to my parents so they can call them up and complain. My dad is an intimidating man and my mom is a business woman, so if anyone can get those bills switched to my ex's name, it's them.

SO... I can pay rent, get my cats fixed, and haul the trash out of my "garbage room" and turn it back into a bedroom. Then when I get my next paycheck at the end of the week, I can pay my cable (internet), phone, and electric bills.

All that's left to take care of is the car insurance.

:
post #734 of 832
Quote:
Originally Posted by kytheria View Post
Thinking about retirement makes my stomach do a little flop.
Best advice I didn't take was to live on one income BC (before children) so that you could build savings and choose to stay home if you wanted to. The POSITIVE flip side to that is right now if you're surviving on one income, you're building a lifestyle that is within your means at one income. Now you spend x number of years raising kiddo(s) and then decide to go to work... instead of struggling to put 3-5% of your incomes into savings, and having a bunch of bad habits like spending $10 a day in lattes, you know how to live frugally and can put a HUGE portion of your new income into savings while still having a little better lifestyle than before you started.

If you're not sure you're going to stay married, try if at all possible for planning on that one-income budget (which again, you'll have practice living frugally) and allocate your child-support or alimony to retirement funding. Then your ex can't use it to manipulate you, and/or his ups and downs don't have to be your ups and downs.

Remember life-expectancy was a lot lower when they set the 65-age as being "retirement" age. Plan on working until you're older, let's say 75, (average life-expectancy is what, 87 for women?) and that gives you another 25+ years of being in the workforce after your children are grown, even if you decide to have another one in about a year and stay home full-time until the youngest is 18.

Say you get a job making 20,000 a year, and you're investments are averaging 8%, save half your salary and you'll have over a million dollars by retirement at 75.
post #735 of 832
Quote:
Originally Posted by Unreal View Post
Ubermama, have you contacted United Way?

I know out here, they do all their work through catholic charities, but when I was in IN, you could contact them directly and they were an AMAZING resource for me

I couldn't have made it without them.

I'm mighty good with google, if you want to pm me your location, I can see what other resources I can dig up?
Please don't think that Catholic Charities would ever turn anyone down just because they aren't Catholic or from a Christian background.
post #736 of 832
Quote:
Originally Posted by UberMama View Post
Sorry I haven't been around. Honestly, I'm getting panic-y thinking about having to move in 2.5 weeks.. with no where to go. And we can't afford a couple of bills. On top of that, even with coupons, groceries are sky high due to gas prices.. I just want to dissolve into my puddle of tears. (And we tried applying with Modest Needs, but they won't approve our app until we show them a lease for a new place.. sigh..)

I'm just trying to keep my mind off of all of this.. but that's difficult, being I'm looking for a place to live so many hours of the day. This is getting incredibly depressing. I keep wondering when our break is going to come. I "invested" my $50 birthday money from the IL's into a tank of gas.. MIL got on me, telling me to spend it on myself.. but I don't need anything.. and gas is a necessity for all of us, so.. /vent over

Sorry.. I'm just trying to get a grasp of the situation we're in, but I am just wanting to in turn - run away!

I just called about the house we applied for LAST Wednesday. The guy said they were making a decision by this Friday. That'll be almost 1.5 weeks after we applied. Not everyone has forever to wait. I was nice to him, but darn it, I just wanted to cry. If we find another place in the mean time (fat chance, but I can hope..), can we apply? What if we got both? Grrrrrr.
I am posting another link for for resources that might find helpful Just click on the state where you live, and from there go to programs offered etc. Many of these community organiztions offer emergency rental assistance, housing placement, and so on.
post #737 of 832
We got some good news today. Micah got a $500 scholarship for this fall! So, this along with the 2k that we will get from financial aid means that we can pay dhs parents back the $1600 we owe them AND pay our car insurance
post #738 of 832
i think i joined this thread once before...anyway i really need to rejoin now, and get some advice before i lose internet access...
we are very frugal, no extras (except internet which i needed for ds's school which is out now, thankfullly)
any advice for dealing w/homelessness with children?
long story short, dh self employed, worked for contractor who owes $4000-said contractor doesn't want to pay, basically said he just won't work in OR anymore when served w/lien on business(he is in WA state) anyway, dh finds work in another town, (finally, a great job, great benefits, etc.-we just don't have deposits etc. saved yet) has been working a week now, but our rent is way past due (because we were counting on the check) and now we are evicted, moving this wknd. (family can't or won't help, we tried) we have friends to stay with until the end of JUne, thankfully. my younger 2 are ok, a bit stressed as you can maybe imagine but my 14 year old is really taking this hard, and i am so lost as to what to say, this is so hard for all of us. we knew we were moving, we just didn't know it would be like this. it isn't like we are lazy, on drugs or drunk, etc... he worked so very hard, for so long, missing my brother's visit because he was working...i am just shocked at where i am in my life right now, i never thought this would happen to me. i have tried many avenues of help, we have plenty of food, clothes, are healthy just nothing else. i am not looking for help in that way, i am just really needing some advice from someone who has been there. i love my family so much, we are so strong and happy together. i am going back to work (dd is 3) as soon as i can, i am not sure how but i never, ever want to be in this situation again. please only reply if you have something to share advice wise, and support, at this point in my life i have beat myself up enough, i don't need anymore of that.
post #739 of 832
Thread Starter 
Hey mama

If you'll read the posts in THIS thread you'll see there is not one person who thrashes on another. We are Switzerland

And my heart hurts for you and your family. We have not been homeless but have been on the verge when our house was foreclosed.

My best advice is to look for family shelters Call social services and explain your situation (they may have emergency housing or shelters.

contact modestneeds and apply for help (the website is in a few posts in this thread).

If you have Section 8 in your state (I don't think you wouldn't) call and tell them you are being evicted and see if they are able to help pay for rent.

And more hugs to you and your family
post #740 of 832
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lisa Lubner View Post
She called my up to say that she sent me a money order for $800!!! Her reasoning was that she "made me go to Boston" and that she didn't get the time off to babysit so I could work from her house. It's true, though I did want to go, I was short on money and didn't end up getting to work at all that week. She told me it's NOT a loan.
Whew! What a relief that must be!

Quote:
Originally Posted by aolinsmama View Post
i think i joined this thread once before...anyway i really need to rejoin now, and get some advice before i lose internet access...
we are very frugal, no extras (except internet which i needed for ds's school which is out now, thankfullly)
any advice for dealing w/homelessness with children?
long story short, dh self employed, worked for contractor who owes $4000-said contractor doesn't want to pay, basically said he just won't work in OR anymore when served w/lien on business(he is in WA state) anyway, dh finds work in another town, (finally, a great job, great benefits, etc.-we just don't have deposits etc. saved yet) has been working a week now, but our rent is way past due (because we were counting on the check) and now we are evicted, moving this wknd. (family can't or won't help, we tried) we have friends to stay with until the end of JUne, thankfully. my younger 2 are ok, a bit stressed as you can maybe imagine but my 14 year old is really taking this hard, and i am so lost as to what to say, this is so hard for all of us. we knew we were moving, we just didn't know it would be like this. it isn't like we are lazy, on drugs or drunk, etc... he worked so very hard, for so long, missing my brother's visit because he was working...i am just shocked at where i am in my life right now, i never thought this would happen to me. i have tried many avenues of help, we have plenty of food, clothes, are healthy just nothing else. i am not looking for help in that way, i am just really needing some advice from someone who has been there. i love my family so much, we are so strong and happy together. i am going back to work (dd is 3) as soon as i can, i am not sure how but i never, ever want to be in this situation again. please only reply if you have something to share advice wise, and support, at this point in my life i have beat myself up enough, i don't need anymore of that.
OMG- they owe you $4,000 in salary?? Can't he go to jail for that? It's not about being lazy or poor financial planning- that's an awful lot of money you're owed!

Look into every and all resources available- this sounds like the kind of situation Modest Needs might help with.

At least you have a place to stay for the next month, and that should give you time to find something more permenant.


I spoke to my "friend" on Monday and she promised to drive over on Tuesday with cash to cover the debt (her debt but in my name) and also she was going to bring me the receipt from the money order she sent to my kids' school, as well as the certified mail receipt to prove that she sent it there. She never showed up or called yesterday. Why am I surprised?

Thing is, it IS possible that the school screwed up. They're so disorganized there, it's not unrealistic to think they could misplace an envelope containing a check or a money order. The bank screwing up (I put cash in your account, I'm not sure why it's not showing up) seems less likely- this is the second bank she's claimed this problem with, I'm thinking she didn't put money in as often as she claims she did. As soon as the bank opens today, I'm calling to check my account balance, and THEN I'll call her if the money isn't in there. No point having to talk to her if she managed to make a deposit yesterday.

I know it was stupid to lend her money. It just felt so good to finally be able to help HER instead of always being on the receiving end. She was having cash-flow problems, her ex was late with child support (and still is), her boss wasn't reliable with her salary either, and her DS' tuition was due. She makes too much for financial aide and the school was threatening to kick him out of school if this wasn't paid on time. She got a new job shortly after that and should have been able to pay it off within a few months.

She's just so awful at money management that when the credit card's website messed up (no longer making it easy for me to make payments from her account) she didn't put the money aside specifically for this bill- if she had, she would have been able to pay it off in one fell swoop when it first went into collections.
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