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Poor Family Support Tribe- NO DEBATE - Page 40

post #781 of 832
Thread Starter 
Ruth- I would call and verify with the bank and then call the creditor with your information.

I think she may be telling you something just to get you off her back. If this is a trick like all the other times tell her to put it on her card, if not take her to small claims court with your parents.


________________________________________

And, I am bawling. This afternoon a call came in for my publisher and after paging his office phone twice I transferred the call to his voicemail. An hour or so later he comes out (I didn't know he was in the building) and asks who took his last call. he said, "yeah, it went to my voicemail." i said, "yes, I called your office twice and there was no reply(he has specified he wants you to call him and tell him what line, and not directly transfer his clals to him), so I transferred it to voicemail."

He didn't yell but he got that "you're such an idiot don't screw up again" tone in his voice. What we are supposed to do is dial *87 and page him throughout the building. I forgot. and he was a jerk.

I started tearing up but held it back and no one saw me get weepy. Thank goodness I was leaving for the day in about 20 minutes so I held it back and kept busy until then. He was in such a foul mood.

I got off work at 2 and just busted out crying. I know part of it is because I didn't sleep well last night, but he just talked down to me in front of everyone in the office.

I want to call him and let him know I really am sorry that I forgot and that I hope he has a better day tomorrow (he is the publisher and is stressed). But I also know that he shouldn't treat people like that (he does it to others too).

On a good note, I learned a valueable lesson and even though I sit here bawling and feeling hurt, I am glad I was able to learn this lesson.

Be aware of how you speak to others, because words really do hurt.

In fact, when I got home I called this girl I used to work with and apologized. When she first started working with me I treated her poorly and talked down to her, I expected perfection from the get-go and I thought I was a bigshot. I called her and cried that I was so sorry for treating her so badly and that I know how she must have felt when I used the tone of voice I did with her. I just couldn't express how sorry I was (I was hysterically crying on the phone with her).

And ya know what. I hope I apply what I learned at work to MDC. I hope today helps me to check my tone and words that I use on this board.

I mean (and now I am crying again) I value you mamas such a great deal and it's strange feeling this way because I have never met any of you, but I feel so strongly about you. You strong, beautiful wonder mamas and I keep thinking how I wish you were here because I really need you guys, ya know? Even as I write this I think how silly it sounds, or how desparate it must come across to you, but- I don't care. You are all so insightful and the only constant in my life right now.

anyway, the car's CVS axle wasn't broke it was the daggone power steering fluid. The plugs had wiggled loose and the fluid leaked out.
post #782 of 832


PD: so it's not a huge, expensive thing to fix your car?

ETA: I just called the bank and they still have $-113 in the account. So either she's lying or the bank is REALLY slow to update their computer system.
post #783 of 832
Thread Starter 
No, it was 158 for the power sterring fluid and we had one strut replaced.
post #784 of 832
Potty Diva I'm sorry your boss made you cry : I accidently made my doctor cry before : and I didn't mean to. Maybe your boss didn't mean to be so harsh.
post #785 of 832
Joining...and yeah I'm back on MDC now Little background:

When we concieved our first child in late 2004, we unfortunately did not have health insurance. We tried to apply for Medicaid but were denied because we were *JUST* over their income limit. So we did the best we could and paid cash for everything. In late 2005 DH's job situation fell apart, and we headed out west to Arizona, we were pioneers determined to make a new life for ourselves. Reality hit us like a brick wall and not only did we discover we couldn't afford to live in Phoenix, but we were 14 weeks pregnant with our second child So back to Ohio we go- with no job waiting for us there either. We returned in early March and DH was mostly unemployed except for some music gigs here and there until June. Thankfully my aunt's house was empty and we still rent it from her now. So we had a nice place to live, albeit rather expensive. Not having health insurance during my first pregnancy destroyed my credit, I gave up paying the bills a long time ago. I'm now in Chapter 7 proceedings, I'm pretty sure my credit is in the negative. DH filed bankruptcy in 2004 as well, for the mess his divorce caused.
We are poor as far as money is concerned. DH's job, while providing full health care benefits, is roughly an 18,000 a year salary. It also provides tuition payment because its at a university, so DH is able to work on his master's degree and work towards a better life for us. Things look fine on the surface to most, I'm sure. But not being able to take care of things like the car ( just had to get new tires today, mother in law paid for it- all $335 dollars ) or buy decent clothes for yourself that don't come from Wal Mart, or take fun day trips like we used to, I know those things sound petty but when you can't enjoy them your quality of life is pretty low. I'm a SAHM (high school diploma, and nope I'm not going to flip burgers to pay for daycare ) and sometimes I get frustrated because I feel like I'm working for nothing. I know things will be better someday, and sooner than I realize. But I'm so tired of money problems getting in the way of my family and especially my marriage. I'm embarrassed when I constantly have to tell and explain to people "We can't afford that". Henri is 10 months old now and getting very big, I'd like to get a crib to sidecar to our bed because HE is getting frustrated with not having enough space at night, and I'm very uncomfortable as well with my bad back- but we're still all crammed in because we can't afford a crib right now. Sigh. But anyways, its nice to be in familiar company with you all. I think the best thing to do, for me at least, is to count my blessings- we're all healthy ( mostly ), my kids don't have any major problems and are very healthy, we aren't starving, and the end IS near, I just have to sit tight for a few more years.
post #786 of 832
Quote:
Originally Posted by kathirynne View Post
I joined this thread a little while ago, but am just now taking the time to post the "why" for my joining. (I'm hoping that seeing it in black and white won't depress me!)

I am a single, WOHM mumma to 4 children, ages 6-14. I have a college education (and accompanying Student Loan debt...) and a decent job. (Actually, I don't know. Is $9.25/hour plus bennies considered "decent".) I also receive $324/month in Child Support. My rent is the cheapest I could find ($750 for a two bedroom flat - heat included), and I am careful to conserve electricity so that the power bill doesn't get too high. I do all the obvious things to be frugal with my money. (IOW, I don't learn anything new by reading the Tightwad Gazette books except recipes. ) I have applied for all the assistance programs I can think of, and have accepted all the help I qualify for.

We were doing fine, until my (fully paid-for) car started having problems, and I had to use most of my savings and all of my tax refund (or what was left of it, anyway, after I bought new coats for my children for next winter. They were on clearance, so I couldn't pass that up) to get it fixed.

So now, despite all of my frugal efforts, we are going to be late on rent for the month of June. Add to that the fact that my daughter is supposed to be the flower girl for my sister's wedding in July, and I have no earthly idea how I'm going to pay for the trip.

I thought I would be able to find a little temporary part-time job during the summer, while my children are visiting their father, but (long story short) they are only going to be with him for 2 weeks, instead of 8 weeks, so instead of socking a little extra money away, I have to pay for summer daycare for the younger two.

I could just cry. It just feels like too much. I know there are other families who are worse off than we are, really I do. It just gets to me sometimes, ya know?

Just wanted to vent. Thanks for listening, mummas.

I am so sorry to hear about your troubles. Could your family help pay for the trip? I really fill they should help out in your situation. In regards to summer care is there a YMCA or some govt program to help out for the summer? Not sure you sound English But I recall going to the YMCA for free because we were poor growing up!!

If that is not an option do you have a mothers day group you can exchange care. Could the older child care for the youngers ones?

Anothe option would be to work night shifts eg Fri/Sat/Sun nights I would think the pay would be higher because it is the weekend. Your older child could keep an eye on the younger ones thru the night.

Good Luck!
post #787 of 832
Quote:
Originally Posted by kathirynne View Post
I joined this thread a little while ago, but am just now taking the time to post the "why" for my joining. (I'm hoping that seeing it in black and white won't depress me!)

I am a single, WOHM mumma to 4 children, ages 6-14. I have a college education (and accompanying Student Loan debt...) and a decent job. (Actually, I don't know. Is $9.25/hour plus bennies considered "decent".) I also receive $324/month in Child Support. My rent is the cheapest I could find ($750 for a two bedroom flat - heat included), and I am careful to conserve electricity so that the power bill doesn't get too high. I do all the obvious things to be frugal with my money. (IOW, I don't learn anything new by reading the Tightwad Gazette books except recipes. ) I have applied for all the assistance programs I can think of, and have accepted all the help I qualify for.

We were doing fine, until my (fully paid-for) car started having problems, and I had to use most of my savings and all of my tax refund (or what was left of it, anyway, after I bought new coats for my children for next winter. They were on clearance, so I couldn't pass that up) to get it fixed.

So now, despite all of my frugal efforts, we are going to be late on rent for the month of June. Add to that the fact that my daughter is supposed to be the flower girl for my sister's wedding in July, and I have no earthly idea how I'm going to pay for the trip.

I thought I would be able to find a little temporary part-time job during the summer, while my children are visiting their father, but (long story short) they are only going to be with him for 2 weeks, instead of 8 weeks, so instead of socking a little extra money away, I have to pay for summer daycare for the younger two.

I could just cry. It just feels like too much. I know there are other families who are worse off than we are, really I do. It just gets to me sometimes, ya know?

Just wanted to vent. Thanks for listening, mummas.
Hey mama, is there anyway you can get cs raised? My husband is paying $880 a month for our 4 kids. I'm not sure if that is because I have no income to tak einto consideration, or what, but 3 something sounds really low for four kiddos. They are taking half of my husbands paychecks for cs.

I am so sorry you are haivng such a rough time.


I am going to try to post my story tonight, I realized I didn't say why I was here either. LOL
post #788 of 832
I never introduced myself. I am mostly a lurker....I grew up poor with my mom and sis. We were on every government assitance program out there, lived in a bug infested apartment, and never had anything.

My mom drilled it into our head how important education was and so I got my nursing degree (a quick degree to make money) and was on my way. I eventually got another degree in something I love and God has blessed me.

However, in my heart I am still that poor little girl who had nothing.

But I don't regret how I grew up, because it made me the person I am today.

Peace!
post #789 of 832
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mama Poot View Post
Henri is 10 months old now and getting very big, I'd like to get a crib to sidecar to our bed because HE is getting frustrated with not having enough space at night, and I'm very uncomfortable as well with my bad back- but we're still all crammed in because we can't afford a crib right now.
try freecycle, half the people in the world, it seems, have a crib lurking somewhere.
post #790 of 832
Quote:
Originally Posted by kathirynne View Post
I know there are other families who are worse off than we are, really I do. It just gets to me sometimes, ya know?
to you mama. People being in a worse situation doesn't make yours any better, so go ahead and feel what you need to feel.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruthla View Post
Do you think the creditor will still accept the bimonthly payments if he finds out that the last two bounced checks were due to bank errors? Or would this not be considered a bank error?
I don't know if it would be considered a bank error, because your friend was giving the "wrong name". If the bank does call it an error, I would think the creditor would have to accept that- but who knows? They aren't the nicest of people. :P

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruthla View Post
ETA: I just called the bank and they still have $-113 in the account. So either she's lying or the bank is REALLY slow to update their computer system.
Ugh. I'm really hoping it just happened after the "business day" time cut-off and that your friend isn't feeding you a story. What a stressful situation.
post #791 of 832
Quote:
Originally Posted by Potty Diva View Post
No, it was 158 for the power sterring fluid and we had one strut replaced.
Awesome!
post #792 of 832
Quote:
Originally Posted by kytheria View Post
don't know if it would be considered a bank error, because your friend was giving the "wrong name". If the bank does call it an error, I would think the creditor would have to accept that- but who knows? They aren't the nicest of people. :P



Ugh. I'm really hoping it just happened after the "business day" time cut-off and that your friend isn't feeding you a story. What a stressful situation.
The more I think about it, the less sense it makes. She had my account number, and supposively walked out of the bank with a receipt each time! How could a bank just "misplace funds" like that when cash is brought in?
post #793 of 832
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruthla View Post
The more I think about it, the less sense it makes. She had my account number, and supposively walked out of the bank with a receipt each time! How could a bank just "misplace funds" like that when cash is brought in?
AFAIK, they can't. In over ten years of having an account and depositing money using an account number, I've had a bank error only once, when the teller transposed two numbers and deposited my check in someone else's account. (And I noticed almost immediately by looking at said receipt.)

I'd ask to see one of those receipts asap. If she can't provide one... well, you know.

I'm really angry for you, but I'm not sure if it's more because she screwed you over, or because she seems to keep lying about it. It's too bad she won't own up.
post #794 of 832
Quote:
Originally Posted by sonrisaa29 View Post
I wanted to tell you I am wishing you lots of good luck in finding a place to live
Thank you so much!! I really think positive thoughts help most anything in life.

Good news - we found a place that's within our budget and has what we want (fenced in backyard!). It doesn't have a dishwasher but my goodness, who the heck cares? The realtor said she likes me and said it sounds like I have a great family. She is contacting the owner to show me the house this weekend. I've seen the outside and love it! We hear about the other place tomorrow, but I doubt we'll get it (not trying to be negative here, but the landlord is taking forever to "decide"). So my fingers are crossed for this place we found today.

Our landlord is playing more games. He unhooked our hose outside. I guess as a hint to not let the kids play in the water? : So DH hooked it back up and the kids and I just got in from playing in the water. It's not like we are wasting it. We have a nozzle thing on it to not allow it to just sit there and flow out!


Ruth - Ahhhhh. Can I strange your friend? Oh wait, that wouldn't be legal. : I cannot believe this. I don't even think we should be calling her your "friend". Friends don't do this crud to one another! :

Kathirynne - Even though there's always someone that has it worse off than you, that doesn't mean your problems aren't real, you know? So don't downplay your problems and think you should be happy or okay with things. It's okay to be down about it all, as this can be a very stressful thing (money.. or issues involving money). {{HUGS}}
post #795 of 832
Quote:
Originally Posted by UberMama View Post
Good news - we found a place that's within our budget and has what we want (fenced in backyard!). It doesn't have a dishwasher but my goodness, who the heck cares? The realtor said she likes me and said it sounds like I have a great family. She is contacting the owner to show me the house this weekend. I've seen the outside and love it! We hear about the other place tomorrow, but I doubt we'll get it (not trying to be negative here, but the landlord is taking forever to "decide"). So my fingers are crossed for this place we found today.
That's great news! I'll be sending positive thoughts your way. Moving is stressful enough!

We're hoping to hear something about Mark's job (or lack thereof) next week. They were interviewing 5 people, plus him. The last interviewer has his appointment tomorrow, two were no-shows, so that leaves two other folks plus Mark in the running so far. Maybe tomorrow will be a no-show too. *crosses fingers*

After trying like mad to get through on the Medicaid appointment line, they sent me a form to do it via mail. Argh. It would have been nice if they had told me that a month ago before I wasted hours on the phone. I hate telling my daughter we can't walk to the park because Mama has phone calls to make *every single day*. But at least I don't have to spend another month trying to get through, or have to deal with the hassle of going to the UMOS office.

All in all, not much happening here. We're just in limbo.
post #796 of 832
Quote:
Originally Posted by UberMama View Post
Good news - we found a place that's within our budget and has what we want (fenced in backyard!). It doesn't have a dishwasher but my goodness, who the heck cares? The realtor said she likes me and said it sounds like I have a great family. She is contacting the owner to show me the house this weekend. I've seen the outside and love it! We hear about the other place tomorrow, but I doubt we'll get it (not trying to be negative here, but the landlord is taking forever to "decide"). So my fingers are crossed for this place we found today.
Good luck!!!

Quote:
Ruth - Ahhhhh. Can I strange your friend? Oh wait, that wouldn't be legal. : I cannot believe this. I don't even think we should be calling her your "friend". Friends don't do this crud to one another! :
Maybe I'll just call her "F" from now on.
Quote:
Kathirynne - Even though there's always someone that has it worse off than you, that doesn't mean your problems aren't real, you know? So don't downplay your problems and think you should be happy or okay with things. It's okay to be down about it all, as this can be a very stressful thing (money.. or issues involving money). {{HUGS}}
post #797 of 832
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruthla View Post
Maybe I'll just call her "F" from now on.
Hmm, I thought about "B".. but we can go with "F".
post #798 of 832
My parents can't help me. I have no way to pay an $8,000 debt. I have no clue what I'm going to do.

And to top it off, my parents started yelling at me, telling me "You can't homeschool DS" as if that had ANYTHING to do with my money problems!!! Yeah, it's related in that I really can't pay tuition, but WTF would public school be my only option here and what does that have to do with the fact that I'm now completely screwed?
post #799 of 832
Idiot landlord just turned the water off again. Grr. I'm ovulating today, and you don't mess w/ me when I'm O'ing! Going to take kids back outside when they are done eating.. then the water fest will begin again.

Ruth - Uh, yeah.. homeschooling has nothing to do with the $! Just try and ignore them. If they can't help, then why listen to them? I know that's childish, but you need to save your own sanity right now for other things.
post #800 of 832
I haven't been able to stop crying all evening. I'm so sorry I even told my parents about the debt- if I'd known they couldn't/wouldn't help me, I wouldn't have bothered.

So what are my options now? The debt is almost as high as my annual income (about $8,000). There is simply no way I can possibly pay this off. There's nobody else I can borrow from.

What can the debt collection agency do to me if I can't pay?

It's been about 8 years since I last declared bankrupcy, and I can't pay for a lawyer right now either.
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