Over excited children when we have visitors

[oliversmum2000]

My children get very excited when we have visitors, they become more boisterous, more disrespectful and just more everything. i know it is because they are excited, but it drives me mad, they really show off and to be honest i dont cope very well parenting when i have an audience when they are acting this way.

for instance, we went out for a walk and each had a pack of crisps at a picnic table then walked home, my 6yo kept ignoring me and trying to take the left over crisps and was incredibly definat about it where as normally he would have left them alone, when our guests left i had to physically restrain both my 4yo and 6yo from running out in to the road, i just cant help thinking that at 61/2 i would like my ds to be able to cope better even when he is very excited.

i hate to say it but i really dont like being around them when they are excited, they jump all over me and sometimes our guests, and can really hurt people (they are reasonably big and strong) and will often do the same thing again, even after they hurt somebody and can clearly see they have just hurt someone. their self control and coping mechanisms just seem to be non existent - what can i do?

[oliversmum2000]

wow - nobody with any advice

[lazra]

No advice, here - I wish I had some for us both. My 3.75yo dd does the same, but only with people who occasionally visit, most especially first-time visitors.

It's definitely her coping mechanism when she's feeling uncomfortable or socially awkward, I've noticed. It's the same root cause as when she's being asked to do something that's just beyond her skill level and she collapses in ridiculous silliness. So, while I can kind of see where she's coming from (she's stressed and trying to handle it), it can *definitely* drive me bonkers - I can't imagine having two of them doing it! I just try to stay calm and follow the guest's lead to see when I need to intervene, but I'm usually a bit at a loss. Maybe someone will have advice for us...

[midwestmom]

: I have the same problem with my almost 4 yr old DS. It makes things very uncomfortable sometimes. I also have trouble with him respecting others personal space.....

Anyone?

[HappyAgain]

I talk to my six year old before the company gets here. "I know you wil be excited that whoever is here, but you need to remember that all the rules still apply. It would be too bad if you had to be in your bedroom while they are here." It did work, so I do feel he has some control over this.

Also, taking him aside to quietly remind him while the company is present, if he does "forget".

[maliceinwonderland]

Originally Posted by HappyAgain

I talk to my six year old before the company gets here. "I know you wil be excited that whoever is here, but you need to remember that all the rules still apply. It would be too bad if you had to be in your bedroom while they are here." It did work, so I do feel he has some control over this.

Also, taking him aside to quietly remind him while the company is present, if he does "forget".

That's what I do with mine as well. She seems to do better with a warning prior to company arriving, not after. And I've also explained that if she's jumping all over people (possibly hurting them, she's not small anymore) and generally being obnoxious to the guests, they probably won't want to come back and visit.