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what do you wish you had put in divorce settlement/parenting agreement? - Page 7

post #121 of 287
12/21/07 at 4:34am
my ex works under the table so it's hard for me to document income. even though we are suppose to split everything 50/50, he's always behind. he claims he's always broke yet he always hitting up bars, taking weekend trips, etc. not to mention he hasn't paid me a nickel of our mutual debt. Plus he owes a $1000 of my lawyer fees which he hasn't paid a dime of. I don't even know how to enforce this or put it in the settlement.
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post #122 of 287
12/24/07 at 12:32pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissSavannahsMommy View Post
2. When can significant others/friends whatever be involved with the childrens daily care. Obviously it's hard to put this on paper, but having simple steps like "children cannot meet significant others until they have been dating for ___ months and parties will both agree to meet the other significant other prior to introducing children" Of course it doesn't have to be that extreme and you can make it to your own preference.
(i havent read all the replys)

Is this something you have in your agreement? I was actually going to post something today on this very topic!
Does anyone have experience with this?
(i think i may still post another thread)

can't wait to read the rest since I think x and i are headed this way (only since the GF thing came into play though)
post #123 of 287
12/24/07 at 12:40pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Areannasmom View Post
(i havent read all the replys)

Is this something you have in your agreement? I was actually going to post something today on this very topic!
Does anyone have experience with this?
(i think i may still post another thread)

can't wait to read the rest since I think x and i are headed this way (only since the GF thing came into play though)

I'm interested in this, too. My situation is a bit different since even x has only met ds a handful of times, but boy is he eager for his gf to play mommy to ds. I think that he should be able to care for ds 100% before introducing someone else. I don't know that the courts will agree with me, though.
post #124 of 287
12/25/07 at 3:32pm
this is great keep em coming!
post #125 of 287
12/26/07 at 11:44am
Quote:
Originally Posted by MsChatsAlot View Post
Also...a right of first refusal clause....meaning that if its his time with the kids and he's going out, he has to give you the first choice to have the kids before using a babysitter or someone else to watch them.

We have this written into our agreement. If he actually followed it, it would work out great.
post #126 of 287
12/26/07 at 11:45am
Something I wish I had written into mine:

No passing messages through the kids.


Seriously, I've had enough. I feel like I am HIS parent too. He acts so childish.
post #127 of 287
1/3/08 at 5:23pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by simplelah View Post
Something I wish I had written into mine:

No passing messages through the kids.


Seriously, I've had enough. I feel like I am HIS parent too. He acts so childish.
thats a great one
bump
post #128 of 287
2/17/08 at 7:51pm
bumping for someone.
post #129 of 287
2/18/08 at 1:13am
subbing
post #130 of 287
2/18/08 at 10:10pm
If you can put things in like being vegan, can you also put things in like that you don't want dds being raised with tv? (we don't have tv, but when I picked up dd2 today from where h is staying, dds were watching tv, which I don't want them doing!!)
post #131 of 287
2/18/08 at 10:31pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by emilyrose View Post
If you can put things in like being vegan, can you also put things in like that you don't want dds being raised with tv? (we don't have tv, but when I picked up dd2 today from where h is staying, dds were watching tv, which I don't want them doing!!)
Theoretically, yes, you can include it--but I think your ex would have to agree. Honestly, I don't think any judge would order someone to keep a TV out of their house (or even off when the child is around) simply because the other parent doesn't want it. The only time I've heard about a judge ordering legal, not intrinsically dangerous items out of house is as part of a criminal sentence (i.e. a hacker can't have a computer).

Same with veganism, really--the PP indicated "we" put that restriction in, which seems to me to mean they agreed. But at the very least, I don't think a judge would order a party with joint legal custody to maintain the child's vegan diet (or any non-medically-required diet, really; religious diets may be orderable in situations where one parent can direct the child's religion).

Unfortunately, there's not a lot you can do about day-to-day stuff at the other house. (And really: Do you want your ex to try to dictate what goes on in your house? Because that's often what happens when one party makes requests/demands for the other to honor, even if the requests/demands are completely reasonable.)
post #132 of 287
2/18/08 at 11:07pm
yes, I realize that we'd have to agree, I know that some of the "smaller" stuff isn't going to be very enforce-able, but when I saw the vegan thing I realized that maybe some of that smaller stuff could be negotiated with h....
post #133 of 287
2/26/08 at 11:24pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by sheilajolene View Post
I've wondered about life insurance. Son's father had a LI policy for 315K which was to come to me... but that was when we were together and I'm sure he's probably changed it now that he's engaged to another woman. Can those of us who were never married even request this? I should get something to support ds if something happens to him...
you can require that he carry a life insurance policy that your child is the beneficiary of. I don't know if that money would be available to you though to use though? they would also be entitled to SS benefits if he died (provided they would have otherwise qualified). you may also take out a life insurance policy on him with you or the children as the beneficiary.
post #134 of 287
3/15/08 at 2:29am
bumping

has anyone included something like a "mission statement" for co-parenting their children? I would love to do something like this (this is something I wanted to do in therapy before STBX filed for divorce).
post #135 of 287
3/15/08 at 9:28am
Quote:
Originally Posted by emma_goldman View Post
bumping

has anyone included something like a "mission statement" for co-parenting their children? I would love to do something like this (this is something I wanted to do in therapy before STBX filed for divorce).
Well, I kind of did. It is attached to our separation agreement/parenting plan -- of course it's not legally binding, but I wanted to get the ideas on paper so it was out there and we could both reference it.

I made an outline framework for Discipline, Mindfulness, Education, and Healthfulness. I'm not sure if that's what you're thinking.
post #136 of 287
3/15/08 at 9:07pm
All I put in mine was "Both parties agree that DS is not to be circumcised or vaccinated at any time."
post #137 of 287
6/21/08 at 5:57pm
* re-subbing *
post #138 of 287
7/7/08 at 2:26pm
*BUMP*

post #139 of 287
7/7/08 at 3:34pm
subbing
post #140 of 287
7/7/08 at 3:35pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by gus'smama View Post
subbing
i'm sorry for whatever you're going through mama.
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