This thread has been INCREDIBLY helpful to me.....my ex moved out of state about a year ago, and....a LONG story, but still have an order of protection against him. He is currently not able to have contact with the children or me since he violated a previous non-harassment order, and was arrested (only overnight). He has not shown up for court dates, and my attorney said that if he continues to ignore court appearances, I can basically ask for anything, within reason. I KNOW that he will not be able to pay the child support that the court will deem he is responsible for (we have 3 children together), so I LOVE the advice that I should include him paying for any legal fees if he is dissatisfied with the settlement.
Basically, I have compiled a list:
- Half medical copays/out-of-pocket expenses (my son has Type 1 Diabetes, and my other two are under the care of a psychiatrist and therapist, so we have lots of medical expenses!)
- Half of dental/braces/eye care not covered by insurance
- Half of college tuition
- Work out who will be claiming children as a tax deduction and when (every other year, etc.)
- Half of extracurricular activity costs (sports, lessons, etc.)
- Child support until kids are 23 and out of college. After age 23, the CS goes directly to them if they are in grad school
- If we ever have to go back to court bc he is dissatisfied with financial arrangements, he will pay all legal fees.
- No smoking inside/in car/around children (he's a two-pack-a-day smoker)
- Not able to be under the influence of alcohol (he became abusive when drinking....hence, the order of protection.)
- Pay half of buying a car for children
- Visitation schedule must be worked out in detail (this is not an issue for me yet, but will be in the future) including summer vacations, holidays, and school breaks. Also include who will be traveling if you are any distance apart.
- Half of summer camp expenses
- Provide life insurance for children
- Split any legal costs for minor children (if they need legal services for any reason, he would have to pay half)
- Make sure you work out all details about the car(s)!!! Both cars are registered in his name, and this is a big problem!!! I have been paying for my husband's car insurance for the past year, and my insurance co. refuses to take him off the policy bc it is in both our names. He "said" he mailed the plates to DMV, but they never received them, and he refuses to report them lost. Also, the car I am driving is registered in HIS name, and he refuses to sign it over to me. I tried to re-register in his name, bc I got the temporary registration online, but when it was mailed out, was mailed to HIM!!! (which he denies.) So I am driving a car with an expired registration.....the only good thing is that any tickets incurred go on HIS record, not mine!!! :)
It sucks that we are dealing with this.....I guess none of us ever expected it. But, thank you all again for your help and support!!!! :)