what do you wish you had put in divorce settlement/parenting agreement? - Page 15

[Jackeke]

Hi Snarky! I tried to find some info for you since my friend just went through a pretty terrible divorce so I know how awful it is! I know rules range from state but this attorney has a few blog posts about common legal mistakes during divorce here. I would really talk to your lawyer to ask him what is applicable to you and what isn't but I figured its a good read

I think the things people forget to include are:

• division of debt (if you guys have any) Dont be the sucker to get stuck with it
• division of retirement benefits like pensions, healthcare etc (you can get a part of these sometimes!!!)
• taxes! Definitely try to make your taxes favorable to you. Also be careful about how things are worded...if you word something incorrectly the courts can say that you're receiving alimony and not child support. You have to pay taxes on alimony (spousal support) but not child support. So just be weary of that. My friend had no children with her husband so she pays taxes on everything now

Also..something kind of for yourself be sure to protect your credit. You'll need it in the future :/ so be sure to make wise financial decisions from here on out 

[val03]

I do say that there is great information here. I have been struggling whether to file divorce papers myself or retain a lawyer to do so for me. I know it would be much easier to hire a lawyer to take care of the divorce process for me. At the same time, I can't afford a lawyer and am thinking about filing the paperwork myself. Has anyone filed for divorce without a lawyer? Any thoughts? Thank you.

[SgtLilith]

My lawyer caught a very important one to add.... if you or anyone on your side of the family set up college funds for your kids...that money is to go to your half (or what ever portion you have agreed to).  If you don't specify this then the money is to go to the total amount and to their dad's payment portion as well.

[rubelin]

Originally Posted by val03 

I do say that there is great information here. I have been struggling whether to file divorce papers myself or retain a lawyer to do so for me. I know it would be much easier to hire a lawyer to take care of the divorce process for me. At the same time, I can't afford a lawyer and am thinking about filing the paperwork myself. Has anyone filed for divorce without a lawyer? Any thoughts? Thank you.

a family friend (who's a big deal family law attorney) helped me to do the initial filing (just making sure everything was in the right place and the right boxes ticked off) and then the rest was on us. I did find out that the county has a wonderful FREE program where final year law students offer classes (which are mostly one on one) that take you through the entire process. We used that to do the final paperwork and get it signed off by the judge.

[val03]

That program sounds interesting. Do you remember the name of that program? I would like to check into it. Thanks

[rubelin]

I don't think it had a name. It was through the Los Angeles county court system and it wasn't something listed anywhere, you had to sign up at the courthouse and it was only available at certain times when they had the funding and enough students to do it. I'd just check in with your local court and ask if they have any classes to help with filing.

[RollerCoasterMama]

Hello! I came across some great info while revising my custody agreement. The original agreement is really vague, and it's time to lock things down with more details. What I've learned that isn't anything I've seen elsewhere are:

1. Request to split legal costs incurred on behalf of the minor child. Ex: kid gets into trouble and you need to hire a lawyer for the kid.

2. No piercings/tattoos without both parents' consent.

3. When splitting uncovered medical, make sure you explicitly call out contacts and braces. Otherwise they can be successfully argued as cosmetic and not required to split.

4. Magic language to get any flat rate monthly payment collected by the county with your child support (with arrears tracked and treated the same): "as and for additional child suport". According to the county child support rep I talked to today, that language brings the payment under the child support order. It must always be the same amount each month. Not a percentage. But you could use it for all sorts of things: college savings, extracurricular monthly amount instead of splitting actuals, clothing allowance, school costs...anything that is the same amount every month.

Good luck to all! Oh, #1 and #2 were both on the wish-she-had-them list of clauses from a divorced mom of teens who used to be a family law attorney. #3 was her recommendation from seeing people get out of sharing those costs. These are all reliable, smart clauses if you can agree to them.