She's having another boy

[~Megan~]

I know you will all understand and right now I need to "talk" to someone that can understand.

A relative is having her second boy. I couldn't talk her out of cutting her first son. I know that if I discuss it with her again it will cause family strife to an already stressed relationship.

If I say something she won't change her mind and it will make things hard for us.

If I don't say something then I'll feel guilty for sure.

Its horrible.

[Yulia_R]

Would you say something if you saw someone raping your nephew? Would you fight like mad to protact him?
Is there really a difference between these two things?..

[Papai]

If you already presented her with information for her first son and she ignored it, I highly doubt she's going to do anything different for her second son.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

If this was me dealing with the situation a second time if it ever came up I would say you know how I feel about it and if you have any questions you know were to find me. And then avoid her if she chooses to mutilate another child. I couldnt socialize with someone who knows how wrong it is and still does it no matter what the reason they use to justify the abuse of a child.

[Nodtveidt]

I'd say something anyways, because I'm just that kind of

[~Megan~]

Originally Posted by Yulia_R

Would you say something if you saw someone raping your nephew? Would you fight like mad to protact him?
Is there really a difference between these two things?..

No, its not any different! I think circumcision one of the most abhorrent things in this world. Its basically doctor sanctioned sexual torture.

Originally Posted by Papai

If you already presented her with information for her first son and she ignored it, I highly doubt she's going to do anything different for her second son.

Its true. There is no way I can change her mind. She is not even open to the information. She just changes the subject. She obviously doesn't understand it.

Perhaps what I can do is just include some anti-circ information when I send her gift, or better yet, anonymously send it to her. That way she gets the information (again) but I don't get "in trouble" from the family for saying something.

She is a hard nut to crack, she doesn't talk openly with me about things. I can't think of another relative or friend that I'd hesitate speaking to about circumcision or any other issue but I can't have a real conversation with her about this.

I am also concerned about creating disharmony in the family because she is not the only pregnant person right now. I don't want to be seen as the crazy lady and thus destroy my credibility.

[AntoninBeGonin]

Even if you sent it anonymous, she would know it's from you. Especially since you tried to talk her out of amputating part of her first son's penis.

Idea! What you need to do, is round up some other intactivist friends. Throw a casual get-together and invite them and her. Then just let the natural course of conversation flow!

[TigerTail]

Just get out there & talk, all of us. I've been happily surprised on other forums- there are everyday garden variety 'mainstream' (but thoughtful & intelligent ) mamas who are speaking out, and not letting this slip by.

What people will ignore when it comes from their 'crunchy granola' friend, they will hear when it's 4 out of the 10 people in their playgroup (and usually the four smartest, unless they have a lot of religiously circ'ing friends- I may disagree, but I would never call them stupid ).

Get out there, make noise. It's so much easier when people realize they're not alone!

(Megan, I wish I had more immediate practical advice. I'm sorry. I'm just very matter-of-fact about it, but even I don't go around irl frothing at the mouth about it, or I'd lose all credibility. Play it by ear, you know this person better than we do. The more time you spend with her, probably the easier you can naturally work it into the conversation.)

[LavenderMae]

Do you know anyone who would talk to her or send her info?
It really sucks. I hate that some people won't listen to me because I'm difernt (that's how one of them says it ).