3 1/2 DD comes into our room every night

[julie128]

Our girls share a full size bed (w/twin bunk on top). DD2 has no trouble falling asleep in their bed, but every night she wakes up and comes into our room. We still have her crib mattress on the floor so that she doesn't come into bed with us. We'd really like our bedroom and privacy back now. Any suggestions on helping her fall back asleep in her own room? Thanks!

[LotusBirthMama]

no advice, because dd does the same thing! i don't mind if she's quiet tho.

[Jenifer80]

I'd suggest taking the crib mattress out of your room. I don't mean to sound rude, but isn't that inviting her to come in and sleep there? I mean, she has a place to go if she wants to sleep in your room. If there is no set place, she'll have to sleep on the floor and that will make it less appealing to her. We went through something similar with DS1. He now only comes into our room if he has a nightmare or he's sick. HTH.

[Ruthla]

I personally would allow her to continue coming into my room at night, if she still needed it. And if she didn't need it, she wouldn't be doing it, right?

Or you could try removing the crib mattress and see how she reacts to that- Would she come in anyway? Would she climb into your bed? Would she stay in her own room but show signs of not really being ready for that (tantrums, bedwetting, etc)? You could always move the crib mattress back into your room if she makes it clear that she still needs it.

[mraven721]

moved

[julie128]

If the mattress weren't there, she'd come into bed with us. And does, sometimes, even with the mattress there. Maybe we just have to keep taking her back to her bed when she comes in. We're usually too tired, though! *sigh* She is very attached to me, stopped going to preschool because she missed me. Maybe I'll listen to Ruthla and just keep letting her in for a while. She's, um, interrupted us before, though. It can put a damper on certain nighttime activities. She'll grow out of it, right?

[UUMom]

You'll need to get creative. Your child is totally normal

You said she starts the night in her bed. All I can tell you is, "Get Busy".

[BathrobeGoddess]

moved to childhood years

[velochic]

My 5 year old still co-sleeps 100% with us. If they need to be near you, they need to be near you. To get privacy, we get imaginative and use whatever room in the house that's available that we know we'll have to ourselves for a while. That's usually dd's bedroom and bed that she has never slept in even once in her life.

[CarrieMF]

We have 3 that do this. The oldest is 8 and she doesn't come very often, she's starting to prefer to sleep in. We did have to start moving her back into her room because she is a wiggler trying to get asleep and was complaining she didn't have enough room. hon, when there's 5 of us in a queen bed plus the dog nobody has room.lol We don't even realize they're in bed with us until we wake up. they seem to go through stages where for 4-5 nights they'll come into bed. They have gotten to a point where they don't come in until our alarm goes off, turning the alarm off is not an option. The younger 2 are 5 & 6.

[mamaduck]

Normal. My 6.5 yo. still comes in to our room to sleep on the floor occasionally. If private stuff is happening, then we take a minute to lock the door beforehand and unlock it after. (And if a kid comes to the door during a private moment, then we stop right away, make ourselves decent, and let them in!)

IMO, kids need 24 hour access to their parents. Even big kids. For some kids, all night is just too long to go without "checking in."

[melissel]

ITA with the PPs, but you could also ask her what might help her stay in her own bed at night. I know someone in a similar situation who did this, and her DD replied that if she had bedding she really loved, she'd want to stay in her own bed. They went out and let her DD pick out whatever she liked, and it worked. Of course, your solution may not be so simple, but maybe something like a white noise machine (my DD has one that sounds like outdoors night noises, and keeps her very dim bedside light on with a dark playsilk over it all night), very quiet lullabies on a loop, a night light on all night, sleeping with one of your shirts, stuffed animals or books in bed, or something else might help.

We also lock the door before fooling around at night. Our DD rarely gets out of bed--she prefers me to hie my rear end to her room instead --but just in case, we lock beforehand and unlock when we're done.

[chaoticzenmom]

I agree with all of the posters. Also, have you slept in her bed? How comfy is it? Getting high quality sheets is really important for keeping them in their beds. I did this with my kids, test the bed out to see how comfortable it is.

Maybe you could get a lock on your door and unlock it after your "playtime"is over. Then, she could knock, but wouldn't interrupt.

My son just told me the other night that he used to come in the middle of the night after a nightmare and just stand at my door, too afraid to come in. He was afraid that I'd be mad: I've never yelled at him for coming in and have always just invited him into our bed, so I feel so sad for him that he did that.
Good luck
Lisa

[newmommy]

Well, I don't have any advice since DS still Co-Sleeps with DH and that won't change until DS feels HE is ready for that to change.

Privacy-We get privacy after he goes to bed.

[christophersmom]

Yeah, my DS usually lays and cries out for me to go over to his room. He is just one of those kids that needs someone next to him a LOT. Just like his mama, so I guess I really can't complain.

[Mom4tot]

Originally Posted by velochic

My 5 year old still co-sleeps 100% with us. If they need to be near you, they need to be near you. To get privacy, we get imaginative and use whatever room in the house that's available that we know we'll have to ourselves for a while. That's usually dd's bedroom and bed that she has never slept in even once in her life.

ITA. It's exciting to be creative

I agree that your dd needs to be with you, until she feels those needs met, she may have more trouble feeling independent. I think it is temperment, each child is different. Good luck! I'm glad to read that you're willing to cosleep for awhile