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Co-sleepers! Come settle an argument....

post #1 of 99
Thread Starter 
I am having a long running disagreement with my best friend. Here's the story. She says that her two children (now older school age kids) co-slept in bed with she and her dh from birth and SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT without waking to nurse after they were about 3-4 months old. They continued to be breastfed until toddler/preschool age and co-slept, but did not wake at night to nurse. They slept through the night. (Did I accentuate that part enough?: ) I say "Great for you, your kids were exceptionally good sleepers. You are the THE ONLY breastfeeding and co-sleeping Mom I have EVER heard say that. EVERYONE else I know has kids that wake every 1-3 hours ALL NIGHT LONG for basically the duration of their co-sleeping and nursing." Hands down, every family I know from LLL, API, etc. has the same story. Hello.... check out all the threads here about frequent night wakings/nursing. I am not debating co-sleeping. I almost always love it and strongly believe in it. I also know in my heart that my baby would sleep better for longer stretches of sleep if he wasn't lying next to the milk maker all night. It is a physiologic fact reasearched by McKenna et al. that co-sleeping DOES produce more frequent sleep cycling by the infant as matched by the mother's breathing, brainwaves, etc., etc. ad nauseum...
So she gets MAD at me whenever I try and dispute that her kids behavior is the norm. I feel she tries (albeit subtly) to imply that my 4 month old waking every 2-3 hours is abnormal. I am not saying her children's behavior was freakish, I just think she got REALLY REALLY lucky with good sleepers. Anyone else want to weigh in? Are we all wacked? Whose co-sleepers sleep through the night? Stand up and be counted!!!!
post #2 of 99
Well, we cosleep and bottle nurse, and my 4.5 month old IN NO WAY sleeps through the night. He just got his first tooth (!) and during teething he was up about 3 times a night. Now that the tooth is through, he's waking up once or twice. Everyone always asks if he's sleeping throught the night... Oh well. No biggie. I actually think that he doesn't wake up much, all things considered.
post #3 of 99
my dd did sleep thru the night from about 2 months to 4 months. now she's 7 months and continues to eat thru the night. currently she starts the night out in the pack-n-play or co-sleeper and then I get her when she wakes up and put her next to me.
post #4 of 99
DS is 13 months, has never slept for more than 4 hours (a handfull of times) and usually wakes every 1-2 hours at night.

ETA: I forgot once he slept for 8 hours, but he was sick.
post #5 of 99
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by lemurmommies View Post
Everyone always asks if he's sleeping throught the night... Oh well. No biggie. I actually think that he doesn't wake up much, all things considered.
Yeh, me too. I don't think my little one is a BAD sleeper. I just have realistic expections for MY child. Truly when people ask me that question I honestly mean it when I say "Sure, he sleeps great." He does. For a BABY. Duh.
post #6 of 99
All of my kids pretty much slept through the night from the get go. Of course, I nurse and sleep at the same time. The babies wouldn't fully wake up... they'd just suck a little bit more if they were thirsty. I usually sleep right through it.
post #7 of 99
My dd has always slept in bed with us and has basically slept through the night since day one.

Now- slept through the night is by definition usually 5 hours.

There were stretches she'd wake 2-3 times a night.

But as a rule, she sleeps through the night.

Since a little past 2 she sleeps ALL night without waking most times (~10 hours)

-Angela
post #8 of 99
We co-slept until my son was 18 months. When his foot ended up in our mouths a couple times in the middle of the night we decided there wasn't enough room for all 3 of us anymore. Anyway, he had only slept "through the night" (5-6 hrs) maybe 4 times in his life! Even in his own bedroom he continued to wake at 1:30am and 4:30 am to nurse like he always had. Then we chose to night wean this past January and now most of the time he sleeps from 11:00-7:00 or so. He nurses before sleep and after waking.

There is a lady I met at LLL who had 3 kids and they all exclusively bf but they all slept 10 hours at night starting at a very young age. She made us all sick :

Maybe your friend was so tired she nursed them in her sleep and didn't know it I think her case is really rare.
post #9 of 99
Quote:
Originally Posted by Daisie125 View Post
DS is 13 months, has never slept for more than 4 hours (a handfull of times) and usually wakes every 1-2 hours at night.

ETA: I forgot once he slept for 8 hours, but he was sick.
:
My 16 month old slept 4-6 hour stretches the FIRST month of his life- I thought I was blessed!! Then somehow that changed. I don't really know why, but he started waking MORE frequently- probably something to do with teeth. Anyway, at 15 months, I was nursing him down to his crib, going up to nurse him back down again every hour or two (sometimes 45 minutes) until after I went to bed, when I just brought him to bed w/ me to nurse through the night. The thing is, if he's latched on, he really doesn't awaken at all- just turns his head, rolls over, or switches "ninnies' occasionally.

Then, a little less than a month ago, we started trying to rearrange his night time habbits. I decided I'd had enough, so we switched to "fathering down" after the first time at night. The thing is, he only wakes once or twice most nights now. And then we bring him to bed to nurse at 5-6am.
post #10 of 99
dd started sleeping a 5-6 hour stretch at 3-4 months, my period came back because of it
post #11 of 99
DS slept so well for the first 3 mos.. and then it went downhill. He rarely sleeps longer than 3 hours now. But it's very very easy to settle him back down so I try not to worry.
post #12 of 99
Not a SINGLE one of my three children have EVER slept through the night while they were nursing/co-sleeping...In fact, we're going through the 2.5 yr old who wants his own bed but still wakes up between 12-2a and climbs into bed with us every night phase right now...Is she for real? Or is she exaggerating???
post #13 of 99
Mine slept through the night (6-8) hours from about 2 months to about 6 months. NOW at 8 months he's up at least every 2-3 hours nursing. If he sleeps next to Daddy however, he's back to sleeping all night even though I'm in the same bed. I agree that sleeping next to the milk machine DOES make a difference!!
post #14 of 99
Quote:
Originally Posted by a_work_in_progress View Post
... I nurse and sleep at the same time. The babies wouldn't fully wake up... they'd just suck a little bit more if they were thirsty. I usually sleep right through it.
: My dd 'wakes' to eat every 2-3 hours at night, but I never wake up and make a fuss about it, therefore she never fully wakes up.

Right now she has been sleeping in the bed by herself for 2 hours soundly. Guess why? Mommy and the milk aren't in there. As soon as I go to bed (which will be very shortly) she'll fidget and want to nurse.

But to answer your question- no, she doesn't just sleep all through the night without wanting to nurse.
post #15 of 99
I have two that slept through the night by six weeks, and one who still doesn't at 1.5 years. I think both are "normal", you just hear/read about the wakers more, that's all. What's to talk about when you're getting a good nights sleep?
post #16 of 99
We still cosleep at 20.5mo with no intention of stopping any time soon. DS started "sleeping through the night" (ie 5ish hours) around 14mo, before that for many months he woke up every 3 hours on the nose and nursed back to sleep.

By 18mo DS was sleeping 9+ hr stretches at night without nursing. Of course by then I was pregnant which probably played a role in his not needing to nurse as often.
post #17 of 99
My daughter is 18 months old and still nurses ~3 times during the night.
post #18 of 99
My DD has always slept 5-6 hr. stretches from day 1. Most consider that sleeping through the night. IF she wakes to nurse it's once or maybe twice, very rarely will she wake more than twice.
post #19 of 99
I guess it would depend on your perception of "all night". I didn't co-sleep, but the babies were in our room by my side of the bed, in a bassinet. My older two BF, and I will tell you that after about 3-4 mos old, they did, indeed sleep through the night. Usually went to bed around 8 after eating, I "topped them off" around 11 or midnight and they slept until 5 or 6 am usually. Of course, there were deviations from their self-made "schedule", but that was the norm pretty much by 3 mos.

So, maybe I am not exactly like your friend, because the kids were not in our bed every night. But, I know that kids and sleep patterns differ. I know full-on co-sleepers whose kids do as your friend's do. It can happen and I would have no reason to doubt them.

To be honest, this board is the first place where I have EVER heard of BF babies who are on the boob for HOURS at a time. I mean, I nursed on demand, and they did more during growth spurts, but I never had a child literally attached to me for hours at a time.

So, I guess we all learn something new sometimes.
post #20 of 99
I co-sleeped, and breastfeed my son, and he from day one would sleep through the night. When he was a newborn and before I went back to work, he would sleep from around midnight when I would feed him and go to bed till between 7-9am. Now that I work he sleeps from 8am until between 5 and 7am without waking up. He still does sleep through the night, although he usually sleeps in his crib now. For the first month or two, I had to constantly try to wake him up to eat, night and day. I had what the doctors called a sleepy baby. I had a hard time waking him up especially the first week, even the hospital nurses had a hard time getting him to wake. I had to pump alot at first because he was constantly falling asleep 5-6 mins after starting to eat.
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