Co-sleepers! Come settle an argument.... - Page 5

[melissel]

I haven't read all the posts, but did your friend do pacifiers, or did her kids suck their thumbs or have loveys?

My first woke every two-three hours to nurse until I nightweaned her. My second has been sleeping through the night (with the exception of bad teething periods) since she was about 3 months old. But she also sucks her thumb and has a wooby.

[pazerific]

i too haven't had time to read all of the posts, but i will proudly stand and be counted as one of the few co-sleeping families with a dc that sleeps through the night. our dd started sleeping through the night by about 2-2.5mos. she started having a difficult time sleeping at about 6 mos when she was getting her first teeth, and then mellowed out by 7mos. but then at 8mos she went on a nursing strike that is still going on 6mos later. i pump for her now, but aside from teething, she slept through the night very early on.

i don't think anyone with dcs that wake at night are doing anything wrong, i just think we got really lucky, and i definitely think our dd is not the norm as far as her sleep habits goes. and as far as the pp (melissel) mentioned, my dd has never taken a pacifier, and just recently adopted a blankey, but i don't think it has any bearing on her sleep habits.

[Selah L.]

What a funny night to be reading this thread - my 11 month old is sleeping at this very moment in his crib for the first time. He's been in bed with us and has NEVER slept through the night. I can't even count the number of times he snacks throughout the night when he's in bed with us.

It's not that I'm calling your friend a liar but it's so hard to imagine what she says to be true, mostly because I can't see beyond my own sleepy experience I guess. But instead of being jealous I'm going to try and be happy for her and embrace your idea of the spectrum of normal.

[Twwly]

My 6.5 month old nurses 3-4 times a night. I can't imagine how upset/hungry he'd be if he went +5 hours without nursing! Just wouldn't happen.

He's never had a pacifier, has no blankey either. Just us.

[KathleenSLP]

My DD slept through the night (8-10 hours) while cosleeping from 6 1/2 weeks of age to almost 5 months old. I then went back to work and she began nursing at night again - reverse cycling I think.

She's 20 months now and still wakes 1-3 times a night to nurse.

I think sleeping through the night is unusual when bfing and cosleeping but definitely not too unusual.

[Teakafrog]

Mine wakes every 2-4 hours or so, all night. But it's ok, because I just latch her on and go back to sleep myself!

[pookel]

My son hasn't breastfed since he was 9 months old and doesn't regularly cosleep, and at 2 he STILL doesn't sleep through the night. He's done it a handful of times (usually during growth spurts), but usually he wakes up at least once or twice.

[love2all]

All my dc's co-splept until age 4 or 5 or more and not a one of them slept thru the night until weening at about 3 years.......
I love my sleeping!!!! I missed it for 10ish years!!

[merpk]

Originally Posted by TattooedMama

... THE ONLY breastfeeding and co-sleeping Mom I have EVER heard say that. EVERYONE else I know has kids that wake every 1-3 hours ALL NIGHT LONG for basically the duration of their co-sleeping and nursing."

How long do you intend to cosleep and nurse?






Yes, my infants woke that often, but once they hit a certain age, it stops. And once they are old enough to find the breast by themselves, they stopped waking me up, too. (That latching-on-by-themselves stuff was in the general area of 8, 9 months old for all of them, give or take.)

And my oldest sleeps in another room about half the time, maybe three, four nights a week, and the other three or four nights a week is still in the family bed. And he's 9yo b'H. Along with my other three kids who are in the family bed every night, the youngest of whom is a few weeks from 3yo and is still nursing ... and no, she doesn't wake up every one to three hours either. Thank G!d.

They all stopped the waking-every-one-to-three hours thing in the general area of six months-ish, with occasional returns to it like during major teething periods, etc. Not a problem either way ... just part of parenting.

And the duration of cosleeping can be very long. Years and years long. And all my kids weaned over age three, too. So you might want to rephrase the above sentence in re "basically the duration of" stuff in the OP.

[NamastePlatypus]

Fortuntly these kids do exist, just not in my home!! They give me hope that my next MIGHT be like that!

[savithny]

Originally Posted by TinkerBelle

I guess it would depend on your perception of "all night". I didn't co-sleep, but the babies were in our room by my side of the bed, in a bassinet. My older two BF, and I will tell you that after about 3-4 mos old, they did, indeed sleep through the night. Usually went to bed around 8 after eating, I "topped them off" around 11 or midnight and they slept until 5 or 6 am usually. Of course, there were deviations from their self-made "schedule", but that was the norm pretty much by 3 mos.

So, maybe I am not exactly like your friend, because the kids were not in our bed every night. But, I know that kids and sleep patterns differ. I know full-on co-sleepers whose kids do as your friend's do. It can happen and I would have no reason to doubt them.

To be honest, this board is the first place where I have EVER heard of BF babies who are on the boob for HOURS at a time. I mean, I nursed on demand, and they did more during growth spurts, but I never had a child literally attached to me for hours at a time.

So, I guess we all learn something new sometimes.

Our arrangement was similar, except that baby went to bed in the bassinet and then joined us sometime between 3-7am.

My first slept 4-hour stretches from birth, except during growth spurts. He was an evening cluster feeder, and one of the theories on cluster feeding I've read is that baby is "tanking up" for a logner sleep. For us, that was very true. He'd cluster feed, nursing nearly constantly from 6 or 7pm until 11pm, and then he'd conk out from 11 or midnight for 4 hours. I'd put him in the bassinette that was right against the side of the bed, and when he awoke I'd usually just bring him in with us (though if I had to get up to change a diaper I'd sit up and rock while he ate). That 4-hour stretch gradually lengthened, until at 11-ish weeks he did 6 hours, and then 7. By the time I had to go back to work at 16 weeks, he was sleeping from 8pm, dream-feeding at midnight, and most mornings I got up at 6am, showered, then got him up, nursed him, and tucked him in next to daddy, who cared for him until noon when I got home from work.

Of course, I thought this was typical, until his little sister was born. Hah. She didn't cluster feed, but she didn't go longer than 3 hours between nursing sessions until she was 14 months old...

[mrsdouglas5]

I Wish!!

I have to agree with the OP that this is both unusual and unlikely-BUT I hope it happens for us with our next baby
My DD is 13 months old, bfeeding and cosleeping since day 1 and has ALWAYS woken up 3-6 times per nite to nurse to sleep. I am looking for answers and may try the daddy nursing ideas I have read.

[TattooedMama]

Originally Posted by melissel

I haven't read all the posts, but did your friend do pacifiers, or did her kids suck their thumbs or have loveys?

My first woke every two-three hours to nurse until I nightweaned her. My second has been sleeping through the night (with the exception of bad teething periods) since she was about 3 months old. But she also sucks her thumb and has a wooby.

Nope, nothing but the breast. She didn't "schedule" feedings, but she definitely didn't nurse as frequently as I have. I think it is more similar to "feeding" vs. "nursing" as I think about it. Like her dc nursed to sleep and for meals. Mine nursed for a lot of reasons other than that. Maybe like a PP said, she didn't just get lucky.... she encouraged them to not nurse all night long. But, so my next question for everyone is..... HOW DO YOU DO THAT?????? If my dc wakes in the middle of the night, I don't know what to do other than nurse them back to sleep. I have to admit that IS creating a suck to sleep correlation. So it's like the chicken and the egg. Which came first? The frequent nightwaking or the frequent nightnursing?

[TattooedMama]

Originally Posted by merpk

How long do you intend to cosleep and nurse?





And the duration of cosleeping can be very long. Years and years long. And all my kids weaned over age three, too. So you might want to rephrase the above sentence in re "basically the duration of" stuff in the OP.

I know. I co-slept and nursed my oldest ds until he was 4. He woke and nursed frequently at night until he was night weaned at 2.5+ My middle ds also nursed at night every 1-2 hours until night weaned and moved to his own bed at 18-20 months when I was pregnant. So, I'll stand by my original post, in MY experience and in a great number of families I know IRL (the majority) their children nurse frequently at night (which is NOT sleeping THROUGH the night) until they were moved out of the family bed and/or are over the age of 2.5 on average. And I still think that is normal. Or can be normal. No wonder mainstream folks think we are nuts. I guess I plan on nightnursing and co-sleeping again this time to around the same age, somewhere between 18 months and 4!

[merpk]

Originally Posted by TattooedMama

I guess I plan on nightnursing and co-sleeping again this time to around the same age, somewhere between 18 months and 4!

Why not eliminate the plan, and just nightnurse and cosleep till they're done?



I mean, I didn't plan on cosleeping with a 9yo, 7yo, 5yo and still-nursing almost-3yo b'H ... it just happened.



YKWIM?

[TattooedMama]

Originally Posted by merpk

Why not eliminate the plan, and just nightnurse and cosleep till they're done?



I mean, I didn't plan on cosleeping with a 9yo, 7yo, 5yo and still-nursing almost-3yo b'H ... it just happened.



YKWIM?

I guess you missed the tongue in cheek.... what I was saying was in reference to my past experiences with my first two dc and meaning that I DON'T have a "plan" as evidenced by the range of ages I mentioned.

[mommyddeville]

I think my seven month old daughter is a pretty good sleeper, but she definitely doesn't sleep through the night. She sleeps next to me, and nurses for at least 1/2 of the night. She's either actively nursing or has my breast in her mouth. And it's normal.

[lyttlewon]

I had a reverse cycler meaning she refused a bottle while I was at work and nursed all night. So at 3 months she was waking constantly to nurse.

[SiValleySteph]

Well, my son cosleeps, nurses and sleeps through the night... BUT this did not happen until after we nightweanted when he was 27mo, he's 31mo now.

That might not count for purposes of this survey.

I usually try to put him in his bed at the start of the night and he will wake to come into our room sometime later, but goes back to sleep without any parenting. If he starts in our bed, he will sleep straight through.