DH cousin killed at VT

[Ideesmom]

MY DH cousin was a German prf. at VT and was killed last week. They are having the funeral this week and I am at a loss for words for the family. IT was his second cousin that I didnt know that well but my dh was close to as a child. He was only 35 and has left a very sweet wife behind whose family is all in Germany. PLease help me with some words of encoragement and peace to give to the family.
Thanks

[bullfrog]

I'm sorry for your loss.

As far as what to say to the family - there is nothing that will make them feel better. Just knowing that you care and that you are sorry for their loss will help. Then just offer to help wherever you see a need. Maybe find some pic's of him when he was young with your DH - I'm sure his wife would appriciate that.
Again - what is there to say - you know? It's just awful altogether.

[TCMoulton]

No words, just hugs.

[bobica]

i'm so sorry.

[Sisyphus]

This is the best advice I ever got about how to help people who are grieving. Mark you calendar for a month from now, three months, six months - even randomly... mark all of their families special dates on your calendar and call or send her a card for every one.

Most people stop asking, talking or calling after about a month and THAT is when it gets incredibly hard for the survivors... no matter HOW a person died. Just remembering her during times that will probably be very hard for her will help her immensely.

I've done this for every person I know who has experienced a loss (since I was told about this) and to a person EVERY ONE has told me how much they appreciate that I didn't "forget" them after a week or two. I feel like it's the least I can do for people I love to help them through the pain.

Hugs to you and your dh's family.

[mamaley]

I read about him, he seemed like a very neat person. You and your family are in my thoughts.

Do you know his wife well enough to call? If not, you could send a cards periodically, saying that she's been in your thoughts, and to call you if she ever needs anything, or would ever like to get together just to talk (if she's local). I think the pp was right in saying that it's 1 month and so on after the death that's the hardest part because everyone else moves on but you're still grieving.

[Breathless Wonder]

[De-lovely]

HUGS mama

[Ideesmom]

I like the idea of sending cards at a month etc. I'll have to remember that.
Thursday will be a hard day. But, we have a large and very caring family. I know we will all come together. Thanks for all the hugs and thoughts