*~Another Weekly Thread April 23-29 ~* - Page 3

[wombatclay]

DH was really disappointed by how little the rest of the men seemed to be interested in taking parental leave, or learning about baby care themsel

my Dh ran into something similar just last night...our local hospital just changed their policies and as a result 6 of the crunchy/birth friendly care providers in our town (2 OBs, 2 family practice docs, and 2 midwives) wont be able to deliver at the hospital as of July. (my birth will actually be one of the last for my VBAC OB team...which totally stinks!).

Anyway, there was a public meeting yesterday to discuss what was happening and what could be done about the birth options available and I had to work. DH went with DD and he said later he was one of only two guys in the room without a female partner (the other was the DH of one of the affected midwives because she couldn't be there in person), and the only solo guy with a child.

We live in a really crunchy area, and everyone here is so quick to pride themselves on how "alternative" they are...but when it comes right down to it there is still a lot of assumption as to what role people should fill in a family. Apparently guys aren't supposed to care about birth options or something.

Ah well. If anyone wants to write to the hospital in support of birth choice, they have an online form (http://www.cayugamed.org/contact/index.cfm). Apparently they are discontinuing their "on call OB" service and individual care providers will have to provide their own OB backup for deliveries. And many of the smaller care providers can't arrange this sort of OB back up and can't afford the higher insurance costs this new system will require...so they simply can't deliver at the hospital anymore.

What really stinks IMO is that they handed out a list of the providers (within a 3 hour drive) who will continue to deliver babies (this list includes homebirth and hospital midwives, family practitioners, and OBs) and there were only three groups that will continue to see VBAC mamas on the list....and then only if the mama meets certain standards, or if the one OB in the practice who "does" VBAC is on call when mama goes into labor, or only if mama has insurance coverage from specific companies! It's insane! Especially given that whole "we are crunchy earth people living in harmony with nature" vibe this town likes to project.

Ugh. It makes me sick thinking about it. I mean, what if I'd gotten pregnant two months later than I did? And what about my next babe? Our local hospital is one of the few in the region that even offers VBAC, but if none of the care providers who support VBAC are allowed to use the hospital than WTH is up with that?

[Jilian]

Originally Posted by willoLevin

You guys whose husbands are traveling late are PROBABLY safe, but not all first-timers go late. Someone chime in the with stats here

My son was born a week early and from 4 cm to birth was about 7 hours, including over 2 hours of pushing. As a Doula I've never had a first-time mom go into labor before her due date. The shortest first birth I've attended was about 9 hours long. Most first time moms have notice that labor is coming, sometimes there are a few false starts too. But I do have a friend who had a 3 hour labor from start to finish with her first, so it's hard to say how long someone's labor will be.

I *think* you guys should be safe until at least 38 weeks anyway. It also depends on how reliable your due date is.

[Corri]

It also depends on how reliable your due date is.

I had two early ultrasounds (5w6d and 7w2d) that confirmed the date I got through charting and an ovulation predictor test, so my due date is pretty darned solid! I'd actually said June 25th, but they backed me up to June 24. for one day, I wasn't going to argue.

I actually have a funny feeling that I'll go on June 28th - that'll be the blue moon. We'll have to wait and see!

[GenomicsGirl]

Originally Posted by wombatclay

Our local hospital is one of the few in the region that even offers VBAC, but if none of the care providers who support VBAC are allowed to use the hospital than WTH is up with that?

When I got pregnant with #2, it was the first question that the OB asked me - "are you going to schedule a c/s". I got confirmation from all the OBs int he practice that there was no reason why I shouldn't try for a VBAC. I did. I failed. Now, with #3, I'm being forced to schedule a c/s. But at least they let me have a go at a 2nd vaginal birth before restricting me to a scheduled c/s! Also, they'll let me schedule my c/s at 40 weeks - so not as early as other OBs require.

As far as paternity leave, my dh just takes off 2 weeks as paid vacation time. He took off 3 weeks with our first child, 2wks when I had the 2nd, and he'll take off 2wks with the 3rd. But, I've asked him not to travel in May or June, so that at least he's home with me to help me out in the evenings. So far, his first trip will be in August - but then they'll continue ferociously until Christmas. Busy busy busy. It's tough when he travels.

My sister still lives in Montreal, Canada, and she got 12 months off with her first, and 15 months off with her 2nd (she took disability leave early because of her debilitating nausea). She got 60% of her salary during that time and was able to stay home with her kids. Also, when she went back to work, she had government-subsidized day care at $7/day including snacks and lunch - something that you can't get around here (unless you're below the poverty line, I guess). The Canadian system certainly has a lot of faults, but as far as mat leave and child care goes, it's way above what I see around here.

[todavia]

hi mamas!

i've been keeping up with everyone's news even though i haven't been able to post much lately. i've been going crazy trying to finish my last few papers (only one more to go now) and wrap up my internship before the end of the semester. i can't wait for it all to be over *sigh* so i can really relax and hopefully have a couple weeks to breathe before baby girl makes her entrance. i can't believe i'm already 35 weeks :

i had a great meeting with my doula yesterday. she' gave me a questionaire about my feelings about the birth - fears (not being able/strong enough to push & major tearing), fantasies (peaceful mood, good support, healthy baby), preferences (open to everything - music, distraction, meditation, water, aromatherapy, massage - since i've never actually labored before, who know's what i'll like or not like) which we went over and talked about everything. she said she was really excited for us and was so looking forward to our birth...it was sweet.

she asked me if there was a challenging situation i could recall that i might be able to use for inspiration if things got overwhelming and the first thing that popped into my mind was about 2 weeks after ds was born when i had a mini breakdown when i realized how exhausted i was and how i'd sort of been expecting a break somewhere and realizing that there would be no break and that it was totally up to me to feed and care for this little person and even if people tried to help me they couldn't really help me because they weren't me and i was it. not sure if that makes sense but that's how i felt. she thought it was a great parallel because labor can feel the same way - there might be people around to support you but ultimately it's up to you to get the job done and it's exhausting and you feel vulnerable, etc, etc.

what else? ds and i are doing a sibling preparation class this saturday at RealBirth. i'm so excited. he's been asking me a million questions about babies and birth lately so hopefully the class will go a long way for him. we'll see.

and just to rant a little - i'm getting tired of people asking me when i'm due. i know people get excited about babies but, come on! is there nothing else to say? i swear, at least 10 people - 5 of them total strangers (lady in lunch line, security guard at kmart...) - asked me this today. maybe i should just make a big button that says JUNE 1ST ! i actually might do that now that i think of it.

anyway, i'm going to bed. i hope everyone is feeling strong and good and for those who aren't, i hope things get better soon.

oh yeah, and i just wanted to add my thanks to everyone for their contributions to this DDC. there are some very wise women here and i've learned so much from all of you over the past 7 months...
excuse the mushiness but i'll play the hormone card cuz it just can't be helped. :

g'night.

[herbmama3-7]

[QUOTE=violetisadora;7954988]

she asked me if there was a challenging situation i could recall that i might be able to use for inspiration if things got overwhelming and the first thing that popped into my mind was about 2 weeks after ds was born when i had a mini breakdown when i realized how exhausted i was and how i'd sort of been expecting a break somewhere and realizing that there would be no break and that it was totally up to me to feed and care for this little person and even if people tried to help me they couldn't really help me because they weren't me and i was it. not sure if that makes sense but that's how i felt. she thought it was a great parallel because labor can feel the same way - there might be people around to support you but ultimately it's up to you to get the job done and it's exhausting and you feel vulnerable, etc, etc.

QUOTE]

I totally understand your feelings on that issue, I have never actually heard it put so well. I think that is a great thing to focus on durring labor, we all need to remember how strong we are. My midwife refers to labor and birth as our initiation, our right of passage, it is quite a special unique thing that only us women can accomplish, and what an accomplishment it is!! It is so amazing that there is really nothing to compare it to, I remember after giving birth I felt so proud and powerful, it was better than climbing a mountain and getting a beautiful view. Some people think I am crazy, but I think the best thing about childbearing is giving birth, I get excited to go through the experience.

On another note, Oh sleep where have you gone?: I too have been waking and then not able to go back to sleep. How to survive this, I don't know.

[Shell_Ell]

Ugh I spoke too soon I think... I've been having a lot of contractions this afternoon and I'm starting to feel uncomfortable. DS is down for his nap and I'm laying in bed now. I ate some protein and I'm drinking some tea. I hope they chill out. I'll probably try a bath soon.

[mataji4]

Hi everyone!

The sun is shining, the flowers are in bloom, my belly is big...I am feeling GREAT! (unless I am bending over!) I am feeling super in love with baby lately, crooning and massaging my belly...and really starting to work with some consistent visualization of the birth. It feels like the birth is in the near future now that my due date is just 5 weeks away.

I went to the Waldorf in the Home workshop near Sacramento last weekend, and that was a fun little getaway with my good friend who is due a week before me. We got lots of attention and were quite a sight. It was my last hurrah! before baby comes, and probably for some time. Honestly, the best part was being able to eat in peace...it made the food so appetizing!

I had an exhausting day with my preschool kids this morning and am SOOOOO glad to only have two more weeks with them before I'm free to just be busy in all normal housework/mother ways and not be working otherwise.

Thanks for the posts on Magnesium...I've been chugging my cal/mag at night for leg cramps but apparently it's made me quite a bit "loose" (that is an understatement!). So I didn't take it last night and got a leg cramp! Damn. I think I prefer the leg cramps, though.

[Jilian]

Originally Posted by Shell_Ell

Ugh I spoke too soon I think... I've been having a lot of contractions this afternoon and I'm starting to feel uncomfortable. DS is down for his nap and I'm laying in bed now. I ate some protein and I'm drinking some tea. I hope they chill out. I'll probably try a bath soon.

I hope they stop! Stay in there baby, it's not time to come out yet!! Sending you lots of "stay put baby" vibes. Take it easy mama.

[Marvelleaux]

Hi ya'll~

Just dropping to to say howdy.

Sticky vibes to Shell_Ell!

[jstar]

sleep is evading me too. i am soooo tired.

stay put little shell ell baby!

[PatchChild]

I still can't believe how close we're all getting. Too strange to think about it.

Everyone I run into now feels the need to ask me when I'm due. When they hear June 1st, the most common comment it "You must be glad it's almost over." ??? I admit, I've been generally very lucky in feeling so good along the way with this pregnancy, but why does the general population seem to feel that pregnancy, especially later pregnancy, is some form of torture?

[Shell_Ell]

Thanks guys.

So I'm up at 11 pm, but I have been sleeping since 5 pm. I tried all of my little tricks to slow them down/stop them... and finally took a unisom when DH got home. (slows down contractions and is safer than the next step- the meds I took with my last pg and DON'T want to take again!!) I called my midwife and ran it by her and then was out cold a few hours. Now I'm up getting something to eat and drink and I'm still having them but they aren't as sharp. She said absolutely no lifting except a glass of water, but DH can't take a day off tomorrow so I'll have to do the best I can and then just rest up this weekend. Stress only makes it worse so I'm hoping DS will be mellow tomorrow.

I'm taking it in stride, though. I'm definately still in the camp of "pregnancy doesn't suck" and I'm not ready for it to be over yet. So if this is what I have to deal with for the next several weeks, then so be it.

[Marvelleaux]

Originally Posted by PatchChild

...but why does the general population seem to feel that pregnancy, especially later pregnancy, is some form of torture?

'cause it is!

Ok seriously, I'm betting that since the general population is "differently-minded" and far less educated about their own pregnancies than those of us here, that by the time they reach late term many of them are scared, stressed out, and probably more physically uncomfortable than most of us.

However...

I'm uncomfortable now. My belly feels sunburned, I'm tired, my back hurts, and my joints are starting to hurt from lack of excersize (which I can't really do because of contractions) and although I'm gonna buck up and wait until the little one feels he/she is ready I would be lying if I didn't say I'm looking forward to physically recovering from this.

[Jilian]

If you have to let your little one watch TV for hours at a time so you can rest, then do it. Don't feel bad about it. You need to keep the baby in for a few more weeks at least. DS has had his share of movie marathon days while I was trying to ward off PTL and it worked pretty well.

I'm with you on the pregnancy doesn't suck, somehow PTL makes pregnancy less uncomfortable. It has made me cherish each day that I'm still pregnant. I hope you stay pregnant for a lot longer. I'm keeping you in my thoughts.

[wombatclay]

sticky vibes to those in need...stay in babies!

[momtokay]

Originally Posted by Jilian

If you have to let your little one watch TV for hours at a time so you can rest, then do it. Don't feel bad about it. You need to keep the baby in for a few more weeks at least. DS has had his share of movie marathon days while I was trying to ward off PTL and it worked pretty well.

I'm with you on the pregnancy doesn't suck, somehow PTL makes pregnancy less uncomfortable. It has made me cherish each day that I'm still pregnant. I hope you stay pregnant for a lot longer. I'm keeping you in my thoughts.

Yes that!! My first was introduced to TV when I was pg with my second. On days when the ctx were more painful and less than 10 minutes apart I'd climb in bed, we'd read, play games and when she was losing patience I'd turn on the TV for her. She's almost 7 now, and everyone who works with her now (her teachers, other adults, etc.) comment on what an imaginative and well rounded child she is, so she made it through okay.

I'm hoping that baby of yours stays put until at least 37 weeks!!! Thinking of you!

I'm also, in the like being pg camp, though I am more uncomfortable this time than in the past. This seems to be one long and/or strong baby.

[jstar]

i have to say i look forward to it being over. i'm not a big lover of pregnancy. i love some aspects of it...and some moments. but mostly i feel uncomfortable and very happy it is a journey which will soon come to an end :

[vannienicole]

**

[Shell_Ell]

Looks like we're getting through today okay, only about 2 more hours until DH is home and then I'll have help all weekend... thanks for your thoughts, guys. Hopefully this is just a one time thing. I honestly don't think he's going to come early... I think this is just my uterus being extra sensitive.

I was going to start a thread elsewhere about this but I felt more comfortable writing about it here. I've been feeling VERY positive about having a homebirth, like things will go beautifully, envisioning a peaceful, gentle, relatively easy birth. I feel that filling my mind with these thoughts has made me feel more confident and less scared of the pain and of experiencing the same trauma I did with DS.

The other day a friend of mine was feeling the baby and started reading him. She does Reiki, and she's done a bit with me before and I'm fine with it. I didn't ask her to do it... she just sort of started to. I don't like hearing how things are "going to happen" because I feel that we make our own destiny. Except she started talking about the birth, and she said that she didn't see it going perfectly, but it would be okay in the end. Everything would be okay. She also said that she didn't see it being better than DS's necessarily, just different.

After the hell and (seriously) torture I went through with DS's birth, this sort of upset me. I don't see how it wouldn't be better than that. It would have to be pretty bad to even measure up.

She did say, though, that her feeling about this birth is that it will be like floating on a cloud. Not sure if that's for me or for baby. So it wasn't all negative, I just heard it that way, if that makes sense. It threw off what I have been envisioning this birth to be like.

I'm trying to put it out of my mind and shrug it off, but it keeps creeping back in. This past week since I talked to her my confidence level has plummeted. Any advice on how to move past this and keep a positive attitude?

I was hoping maybe some of you will read this and read into those words differently. Maybe there's a way I can twist them around to mean what I need them to mean?

Sorry so long, thank you for reading if you did!