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Need your feedback experienced Mamas! - Page 2

post #21 of 26
Well, since everyone else has been so positive, I'll feel free to be totally honest with you.

I felt totally unable to get anything done for 6 mos after dd was born. It was a cesarian birth and I had lingering pain the whole time. Sure, dd slept a lot, but only if she was in my arms. I didn't have a sling, and the carrier I had became painful after 30 mins max. To bathe, I would put her in a rocking chair in front of the shower, and I'd have to let her cry the whole time. I showered about every 2-3 days. We also had a swing, which would keep her quiet for about half an hour. That's how I got work done in the kitchen. She wasn't great at nursing at first, so she would most often nurse for 45 mins or so, starting every 2 hours or sooner, so in between sessions there just wasn't much time. I was exhausted all the time, it was painful to move, walk, stand, or sit. I set a daily goal of washing a load of laundry and getting a load of dishes into the dishwasher, and I made it maybe 75% of the time.

At the same time I had a huge surge of creative energy, like never before, but I felt completely unable to channel it into anything significant at all. Couldn't play music, it would wake the baby. Some crafts, like painting or decoupage, by the time I got the materials together and some space cleared she would wake up hungry. I started gathering up hedge trimmings and weaving them in the yard, while dd slept on the boppy just inside the patio doors. I could get maybe half an hour to work. I hung my creations around the yard. I'm sure dh thought I was crazy. Looking back, I was, I had ppd, but when I asked myself if I needed help, I thought, it would be abnormal NOT to be depressed right now.

So, personally, I wouldn't think of having another baby if there were ANYTHING else I needed to do in the next six months.
post #22 of 26
You can do it, just be prepared for the most intense relationship of your life between you and your little one - and dont let the pressure to be perfect get to you. You will find the time
post #23 of 26
really the first few weeks are tough. no matter what really.
I do have a very supportive DH, who when he is here will do anything that needs to be done. he makes sure i get time (at least and hour) every night even in the first few weeks. you can do it Im sure, it will take some finnaggling but you should be ok. it probably wont be easy at first but once you dh and baby find a rhythm it will get better. wearing the baby and nursing will help alot especially if your wearing and nursing.
post #24 of 26
Thread Starter 

really appreciate you all...

Just wanted to say thanks again for all your attention and ideas-
I feel like the 2 post partum doulas, 5 slings, laptop and bed desk, and 3 totally present and helpful sisters will be a huge asset. And I could probably take the first 3 weeks with absolutely no writing and be ok as long as I pick my schedule back up- I do get a little sad and antsy when I go so long w/o... I am used to a half hour here, a few lines there... something jotted down while I am out in my small journal in my bag.... I hope this will all be helpful. And I am completely willing to wait another semester to finish, I just kinda doubt it will get any easier the longer I wait. The most important thing is that I fully experience this precious time with my daughter.

On the other hand, I am experiencing an all time low in my ability to cohesively express myself...

I mean I feel like what I am writing is crap- not beating myself up here, it just doesn't feel like great work... my brain's all mushy and not as sharp and clever.. but, still I got very high reviews with what I last turned in (although I was embarrassed to even be turning it in)... what does this tell me?? I need to cut the perfectionism (just like Darsmama said!) and just keep plowing through, and I think whatever work I will create will be accepted. All the academic stuff is done- it's all creative writing at this point. So my big lesson is to let go, do my best, and let my best be good enough. Ah, if I could transfer my enthusiasm for organizing closets right now onto my thesis!

Thanks for all the support Mamas! I am sure my check-ins post partum will be largely about this- if not, ask me why, ok?
post #25 of 26
...And since the topic you're writing about is so closely related to what you're about to experience, that will make it both harder and easier. I felt blown away by birth and being a doula/aspiring midwife already, it took me a while to integrate my experience. I was like, "Okay. WOW. So, now what?" for a while.
post #26 of 26
Just wanted to chime in and say in my experience new babies really aren't all that hard. My dd was high needs, I could barely put her down, but I managed to finish highschool and have a job cleaning houses for people (god I loved my sling!) right after she was born. I found the most helpful things were to wear her in the sling as much as possible, and learn how to breastfeed and type at the same time. I spent most evenings doing my homework on the computer with dd attached to me for the first few months.

I'm sure writing a thesis is a far cry from finishing highschool, but just wanted to say I managed to keep everything together, and it sounds like you have a great support system lined up, so you should be just fine!
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