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What would you do????

post #1 of 22
Thread Starter 
I really need your help mama's, Tonight after dinner I was talking to my 4yr son about his day at daycare, asking him several questions what he did etc.
And he told me his Teacher slapped his arm twice, and then calmly I said what did you do (he looked down and said I told her she's not allowed to hit me), and then I asked what the teacher said apparantly she told him he isn't allowed to say that either and put him in time out.
I have no idea what happend to cause the woman to slap my child but my son says he was playing with something sharp.
Mind you he's only been in this Daycare 3 days. I just recently went back to work full time, and had worked at this daycare previously in the past. I feel comfortable with the facility, but DO NOT WANT THIS TEACHER GETTING AWAY WITH THIS. What do I do? How would you address the issue.

I am planning on going to the director and demanding this be taken care of immediatley in a non threatening way. I do not want her around him un supervised.
Am I overreacting? I sure hope this isn't allowed and the Director doesn't blow it off!

Thank you for your time
Valerie
post #2 of 22
No way are you overreacting! You have every right to speak to the director and demand that this be taken care of. IMO, this teacher should be thanking her lucky stars that you aren't filing charges - that would be one of the first things to cross my mind if anyone ever laid a hand on my child!

And good for your ds for standing up for himself! It stinks that he was put in that position but he certainly seems to have handled it well!
post #3 of 22
Moving to Parenting Issues!
post #4 of 22
Personally, I'd find a new daycare immediately.
post #5 of 22
Oh girl. No way would anyone slap my child (hell, I don't even slap my children). I am a very hotheaded person and that daycare lady would not only loose her job, but wouldn't be working with children EVER again. I certainly would bring this up with the director and then I would demand that the director call the lady into the room so that I could confront her as well. I might even take out assault charges against this lady....see, hotheaded. Slap a 4 year old....that is ridiculous and should be addressed immediately.

Sorry for getting so upset, but these daycare workers are there to help your children, not slap them around.
post #6 of 22
Say something! NO ONE has the right to slap your ds.

I am sorry this happened, I can only imagine what you are feeling.
post #7 of 22
I would do all of the above! I would confront her, asking her what happened, (although chances are she wouldn't be completely honest, who allows someone else to smack their kids?)I'd also talk to the director just to let hir know Exactly why we wouldn't be coming back.

One might think a warning was in order and than to wait to see if things improve but my personal oppinion, If it were MY dd, we'd be gone because that lady needs a re-education, Her whole concept of relating with children is flawed, unfortunately it's more common than not probably.

Just teaching her that hitting children is not going to fix the problem. The way she thinks about children is wrong and it would take a lot to change it. Even if she were to quit hitting she would probably resort to some other innappropriate method.
post #8 of 22
Quote:
Originally posted by Dragonfly

And good for your ds for standing up for himself! [...] he certainly seems to have handled it well!
I second this. Good Job Baby
post #9 of 22
WOW! Great Job for your son telling you and very brave for him telling that teacher (if she should be so worthy) that. Please tell us how it turns out. I would file charges. I am so mad at this woman. How dare her touch any child inappropriately!!! I wonder how many others she has done this to? I would definitely talk to someone in charge and file charges, but that is just me. I am sorry to get so upset but I am disgusted.:Puke
post #10 of 22
I agree with the others. No way should anyone EVER lay a hand on your child (even if a parent advocates spanking....no way is it cool to hit or slap another child). I always thought if another adult spanked your child/my child, they could get arrested!

I would call for a meeting immediately for you, the director and the teacher.

I would look for another place for my child. There are plenty of places for your child that are wonderful.
post #11 of 22
Quote:
Originally posted by Justice2
Oh girl. No way would anyone slap my child (hell, I don't even slap my children). I am a very hotheaded person and that daycare lady would not only loose her job, but wouldn't be working with children EVER again.
I'd just like to add that once I got through with her, she wouldn't be WALKING again either.

Yes, OK, that was not very constructive and absolutely not behaviour I'd want to model for my children, but stuff like this makes me REALLY mad! So sorry this happened to you and your little boy, mama. But I am so impressed that he's so assertive - right on!

Let us know how it goes.
post #12 of 22
Quote:
Originally posted by Jeffiner
I'd just like to add that once I got through with her, she wouldn't be WALKING again either.

Yes, OK, that was not very constructive and absolutely not behaviour I'd want to model for my children, but stuff like this makes me REALLY mad!
Well you don't have to do this IN FRONT of your children

I am sorry. Normally I do not condone violence. These are our children and if we don't take up for them, who will? This lady had absolutely NO RIGHT to touch your child whatsoever. It's great that your little boy knows that noone is allowed to slap him! Good job mama for instilling that into your child! Go go put the fear of mama in that woman!
post #13 of 22
wow that is awful!!!
Can you gives us and update? What did you do?
ITA with everyone else here that no way in he** would anyone get away with hitting my ds.......
UGH..the nerve of some adults!!!!!!!!
post #14 of 22
ITA with the previous comments and...

You also need to demonstrate to DS that there are consequences for this type of behavior and that his complaints are taken seriously (that he was not only right in reporting it to you, but that something will happen if he comes forward). Demonstrate your outrage to confirm to DS that it *was* outrageous and he will definately say again "you can't hit me/touch me there/etc..." when/if he is in that same situation again!

Good luck & Good job raising a child who *knows* that his body is his own!!!

Kay
post #15 of 22
Thread Starter 
well, sorry it took me a few days to update I kept them out of daycare Friday and spoke with the director this morning. She kept saying are you sure it wasn't just a tap, or trying to remove him from an area, we don't hit. I was kinda dissappointed in her reaction. I told her to take care of it and handle it in a way where the teacher won't be addressing my son in this manner again. I also have a younger son in a different classroom and those teachers are great in there, but if something doesn't happen by tomorrow when I go back in there I might just have to switch daycares!

All of your suggestions and support has helped!!
Thank you~
Valerie
post #16 of 22
I would like to add that if the director doesn't address the problem to your satisfaction you should report this to CPS. It might not be the first instance for this teacher but might be at this center. The only way to be sure this doesn't happen againif she is fired and rehired at another center is to get an offical agency involved.

I'm so sorry this happened...
post #17 of 22
I think you should report the daycare to whatever state board is in charge of child care licensing - IMMEDIATELY. Of course the director is going to say that they don't hit.
post #18 of 22
"Just a tap" as if it was acceptable! If the director didn't take me seriously I would be SO ANGRY. There is NO WAY I'd take my kids back. Unacceptable. She may take it out on your son and tell him not to tell mommy. This is not to be handled lightly and it sounds like the director is not concerned and as a
Parent you have the POWER, don't let them intimidate you

I would never put my daughter back in the room with her or she would learn not to trust me.
post #19 of 22
Given the director's reaction, I would speak with her again. I would point out that even if the teacher felt it was "just a tap" your son felt it was hitting. The perceptions are important.

I wouldn't move him out of daycare unless you don't feel comfortable.

Talk again with the director.

Hugs
post #20 of 22
I would also take great care to get to the bottom of it - it is easy as a parent to jump immediately and assume the worst.

I say this as I've seen teachers accused of all sorts of things, which were just not true. I"m not saying that your child is lying, but that there can be all shades of grey - eg if a child is doing something dangerous and the adult taps him on the arm, or if he isn't turning to listen.

'Tap' could mean all sorts of things. I often tap my dd on the shoulder - but I'd never hit her, not in a million years!

I'm just saying that I'd check it out calmly before jumping to conclusions. Indeed, if she did hit a child, she should be fired, but only after an investigation. Otherwise just about every teacher in the land would be out of work!

T: I once carried a very difficult child out of an assembly, because she was screaming and hitting the children around her. She hit me, kicked me, and tried to bite me as I carried her, as gently as I could, but a tantruming seven year old can be difficult to carry! This was in front of about 500 students and 25 adults. She went home and told her mother I'd hurt her and that she'd been doing nothing wrong. The mother to this day believes her, above the 525 people who witnessed the incident.: :
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