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What would you do???? - Page 2

post #21 of 22
I had a similar experience but it was handled much better by the care provider. My 3 year old son told me one morning he didn't want to go to his babysitters because "she talked very loud and it scared him." I tried to calmly get more information out of him without influencing his responses but that was about all I got. So I kept him out of daycare that day and called his babysitter. He's been at this in home daycare for 2.5 years so I have a fairly close relationship with his babysitter. I told her what he said and she was shocked. I said I would understand if she had gotten frustrated and shouted, I've done it myself, I just want to know what happened. Initially she couldn't figure it out. She said she had never yelled at him, she loves him, etc. etc. Anyway after an open and honest discussion we figured out he was referring to when she talks on the phone with her husband during ds's nap. I didn't realise that she is hard of hearing in one ear and if she's talking to her husband who is on a cel on a construction site she often yells because she can't hear him. We went to daycare the next day and sat down and talked it all over with ds. Maria apologised to him and told him if he ever felt scared to tell her and she would stop immediately. He went willingly that day and has ever since so I feel confident that there was no foul play here.

Now my situation is different because of my close relationship with this caregiver but I still think anyone in the child care profession should know to take a child's story very seriously and not just brush it off. If it is a difference of perception than the teacher still must apologise and tell the child they will endeavour to not over step the child's boundaries again. But really the telling thing here is that she put him in time out for speaking up. That's enough reason right there for me to leave this daycare.
post #22 of 22
I would talk to the teacher. It is only fair to get her side of the story. It may have been just a tap to get his attention. He may have just precieved it as hitting. DId your ds say it hurt? or was he just insulted that she would "hit " him?

I am not saying she is innocent. But I can see how i could be totally innocent too. She taps his hand, (he said he had a sharp object, she may have even paniced a little and tapped harder than nessecary but still not intentionally hitting him) he says "hey you aren't allowed to hit me" because any sort of physical reprimand is new to him, she precieves it as just sassy and him avoiding the instruction he was given, and sends him to time out. Never relizing that he actually thought she was hitting him.

of course she may have slapped him, which led your son to gently remind her that we don't hit, and she could have been insulted at being rightly corrected by a four year old and sent him to time out. in which case she has no bussness ever taking care of children again.

definitely get boith sdides of the story before you report her though.
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