DH wants Circ, I do not - Page 2

[TigerTail]

It takes a lot less time to get used to 'normal', than to condition & harden & blind yourself to thinking maimed is 'normal'.

[A&A]

Originally Posted by awallrising

Honestly, I think uncircumcised penises look weird

Trust me......when it's your baby, it doesn't look weird. It looks normal.

[awallrising]

Even though I am not used to the uncirc'd penis, I would never let that guide my decision. I'm sure it will become normal to me after a few hundred diaper changes. After seeing the video, it seems ever weirder to do that to a baby. It's really horrific.

I have to say, had I known I was going to get so mini-lectures for saying that uncirc'd penises looked weird (just being honest b/c I thought that this site is an open forum), I wouldn't have said it. It's not like I'm saying I'm circ'ing my son so he won't look weird. Things just seem weird sometimes when they are different. I'm sure if I was accustomed to the penis as it's supposed to be, I would think circ'd penises look really weird.

[trmpetplaya]

To comment further on "normal" looking penises - I grew up seeing my brothers' circumcised penises at their diaper changes and when we used to take baths together (I was 6-8 yo and my brother was 1-3 yo when we took baths together and my other brother was born when I was 11.5 yo so I definitely remember seeing their penises a lot around that time) and that was "normal" to me for the longest time.

Now, I don't have any friends who circumcise their sons, my dh is intact, and I only rarely see circumcised penises (at the swimming pool and once at the LLL meeting) because it's just not done around here. Let me tell you, once I started seeing normal penises, circumcised penises looked so wrong! They always look aroused (the only time when the glans on a normal intact penis is visible is during sexual arousal) which is very disturbing to see on a young child... The circumcision scar became SO visible once I became used to seeing penises that didn't have a scar. The scar just jumps right out at me when I see a circumcised penis now :

It's extremely visually disturbing to me to see a circumcised penis and intact has only been my norm for about 1/5 of my lifetime. The other 4/5ths, I thought that circumcised was "normal" and it was all I knew.

You'll be seeing your son's normal penis all the time for the first couple years at least and it will get to be so normal to you that you won't even give it a second thought after a month or two. Seriously. It doesn't take that long to get used to I understand how seeing an intact penis for the first few times can be odd and perhaps a bit off-putting - I've been there. Honestly, you get used to it and it eventually does look infinitely better without the scar and without the baby looking aroused all the time!

love and peace.

[tiffer23]

I pretty much said over my dead body, but in a sweeter way. I just kept on about how horrible it was, and that I knew he was going to be a wonderful father and I couldn't imagine him letting his brand new perfect son have a piece of his body ripped off of him so violently. He's not that kind of dad. I played on the fact that I thought he was too good to do something that bad. KWIM? It worked. Honestly, if he'd admit it I know he still wishes Milo was circ'd. But he's never said anything about it, and would never ever push the issue.

[jessjgh1]

Originally Posted by awallrising

I'm sure it will become normal to me after a few hundred diaper changes. After seeing the video, it seems ever weirder to do that to a baby. It's really horrific.

I have to say, had I known I was going to get so mini-lectures for saying that uncirc'd penises looked weird (just being honest b/c I thought that this site is an open forum), I wouldn't have said it. It's not like I'm saying I'm circ'ing my son so he won't look weird. Things just seem weird sometimes when they are different. I'm sure if I was accustomed to the penis as it's supposed to be, I would think circ'd penises look really weird.

BTW, I'm not responding at all because I find your response anything but pretty normal and honest-- just wanted to put a different spin on it.

Most of us really don't ever see the immediate results of circumcision- we see one months or years after the surgery was performed, and I think this makes a big difference.

I think most people are "used" to seeing a circumcised penis after it has healed but a newly circumsized penis is pretty hard for most people to take w/o some emotional response. Might you have been horrified to change a diaper just after the penis had been circed and the wound was fresh??

After the injury is healed it conforms to the 'norm' in our society and it does not necessarily provoke much of an emotional response. It conforms to the idea we already have of what is normal. And the only way it is justified those first few days/weeks after circumcision is because most parents believe they have done this for some medical reason.

The fact is that you have undergone a huge mindshift after watching that video and getting some accurate information.

So FWIW, I think you will probably be surprised at how normal an infants intact penis looks the second you see it (-:

Good luck with dh.

Jessica

[trmpetplaya]

Originally Posted by awallrising

I have to say, had I known I was going to get so mini-lectures for saying that uncirc'd penises looked weird (just being honest b/c I thought that this site is an open forum), I wouldn't have said it. It's not like I'm saying I'm circ'ing my son so he won't look weird. Things just seem weird sometimes when they are different. I'm sure if I was accustomed to the penis as it's supposed to be, I would think circ'd penises look really weird.

I wasn't lecturing (or meaning to, at any rate). I just wanted to point out that I saw circumcised penises as normal for the majority of my life and now they're the ones that look strange. I was hoping more to encourage you about the fact that you'll most likely soon find that your son's intact penis looks just fine I've definitely been in the position of seeing circumcised penises as "normal" penises though so I thought I'd share my experience...

I also cross-posted with your post right before my pp... and I'm sorry about that

love and peace.