But much of the time, I find play tedious. My mind wanders. I don't want to come charging out of the bedroom with my red rescue cape on saving the cow (DD) from the bear a thousand times. I feel physically tired most of the time. I feel trapped by these games. When I try to find something that is more interesting for me, she is not interested (reading a book, drawing, painting, etc). When I'm sitting on the floor playing with her I find my mind wandering and I start cleaning and tidying up, then she tries harder to get my attention (Mama! Mama! Help me! A twister's coming!) then I feel guilty for not giving her my whole attention. I'm trying to type this and think about this and she keeps pushing the keys on the keyboard, so I have to re-write the sentence, and I know she wants my attention, but we just spent 20 minutes cracking open eggs and cooking them, and now I want to be here, writing, only I'm only half here.
She won't get dressed and get in the car to go somewhere without a huge fight. Then I feel horrible for forcing her, even though she enjoys herself when we get to the park or wherever. I try to make it fun for her but rarely succeed. She is suddenly fearful about going outside. So often I am not up to the battle and don't try. We are stuck in 800 sq. feet with the same old boring toys. I should be able to find play that is interesting for the both of us, but I am too tired, or too stupid, or too unimaginative, to try very hard.