For anyone reading this thread and interested in The Work and how it can address issues of parenting, I'm a certified facilitator of The Work of Byron Katie and I offer a free month Teleconference for parents who want to use the four questions and turnarounds to look at any stressful parenting beliefs.
I just did a call tonight with a few parents and we all looked at the belief "My child should listen to my advice". I can easily send anyone the recording if you register on my website (listed below).
What I love about The Work is that there is no-one but you to find your own answers... your answers and your truth. In the plethora of parenting advice that is out there these days it is so refreshing to simply question a belief and see what then emerges as creative and playful solutions with your children and your family. Unique to you and perfect for you. There is no better expert than you...
I did a piece of work this morning to question my belief that "my children should get along with each other", as when I experience that they don't, it is very stressful for me. I see that my stress occurs not because they are arguing, it is stressful because they are messing with a core belief of mine (picked up from my mother especially) that brothers and sisters should get along. My behaviour is then that I want them to stop fighting and feel I have to be the one to fix it. I can read (and actually have read) all sorts of parenting books which address what to do with sibling rivalry. Yet, for me nothing comes close to the peace that is in my heart as I gently stay open to my son and daughter, when I drop the thought and then look at them without "my children should get along with each other" belief.
The Turnarounds "I should get along with my children" and "I should get along with myself" are far more true for me and there are many genuine examples I can find to support these turnarounds...and the funny one is "My children shouldn't get along with each other..."
and reasons why:
1. They plain and simple don't. That's the fact.
2. They need to learn about conflict.
3. So they can teach me to let them have their fights and not feel this need to step in and sort it out, micro-manage them all the time.
hope some of you join the calls and I'm open for questions about The Work during the calls too