Help us mamas. I’m feeling pretty stressed out about this at this point. Dd (2) and our good friends Dd, who turned 2 in March, are currently together 3 days per week. My dw is looking after them in their home or ours. We have been good friends with this couple since we were pregnant, we really like them, and have enjoyed spending lots of time together, including holidays. They are great people, always ready to help us out, AP parents, and although our values aren’t identical, we have lots in common as parents.
Our two dds have WILDLY different personalities. They are both wonderful girls, but very different. A (our dd) is a highly sensitive kid, cannot be left with anyone other than grandma, easily upset by change and disruption, takes a while to adjust to new situations, very verbal and articulate, usually tries to solve problems by talking them out and generally is pretty willing to go with the flow. K (their dd) is outgoing, charming, funny, chatty, transitions easily, loves noise, big groups and does well with different caregivers. She is not as verbal as our dd, does not understand turn taking, and tends to grab toys and push. They have been together for almost 3 months now. We were very happy to help out our friends whose nanny quit suddenly, as dw was already home and we could use a bit of extra cash. They are looking for new childcare, and it looks likely that they will find something soon, which is great news. But in the meantime, this is what the week has been like so far:
Thursday- A throws a book at K’s head, catching her with a corner (very sore). We tell A it is not okay to hit, and explain that she has made her friend sad.
Friday- A hits K over the head with a toy broom. We tell A it’s not okay to hit, and take away the broom.
Saturday-no contact.
Sunday-A’s birthday party. Seemingly out of nowhere, K chomps down hard on A’s legs. There are still marks 3 days later. K’s parents make her apologize and give A a kiss and then remove her from the party.
Monday-no contact.
Tuesday-A hits K a few different times.
Wednesday-I talked to dw, so far today, A has hit K with a book and a stacking cup and stomped on her fingers while she was climbing a ladder at the park. K has bitten A on the arm when they were both riding in the double stroller.
Generally we have been handling this by removing the offender from contact, giving love and support to the victim, and explaining very seriously to the offender that they have made their friend sad.
Thanks for still being with me! I am finding this personally very hard as our family are pacifists and A has never shown any real aggression before, and certainly never to other kids. K’s parents tend to laugh off A’s aggression as in “K deserves some of the same that she’s been giving.” I guess I’m looking for input…are we handling it okay? Other than separating them, what else can we do? How can we help our normally verbal, easygoing & patient toddler to protect herself without hitting. Apparently K now flinches when she sees A coming which makes me sad.
Our two dds have WILDLY different personalities. They are both wonderful girls, but very different. A (our dd) is a highly sensitive kid, cannot be left with anyone other than grandma, easily upset by change and disruption, takes a while to adjust to new situations, very verbal and articulate, usually tries to solve problems by talking them out and generally is pretty willing to go with the flow. K (their dd) is outgoing, charming, funny, chatty, transitions easily, loves noise, big groups and does well with different caregivers. She is not as verbal as our dd, does not understand turn taking, and tends to grab toys and push. They have been together for almost 3 months now. We were very happy to help out our friends whose nanny quit suddenly, as dw was already home and we could use a bit of extra cash. They are looking for new childcare, and it looks likely that they will find something soon, which is great news. But in the meantime, this is what the week has been like so far:
Thursday- A throws a book at K’s head, catching her with a corner (very sore). We tell A it is not okay to hit, and explain that she has made her friend sad.
Friday- A hits K over the head with a toy broom. We tell A it’s not okay to hit, and take away the broom.
Saturday-no contact.
Sunday-A’s birthday party. Seemingly out of nowhere, K chomps down hard on A’s legs. There are still marks 3 days later. K’s parents make her apologize and give A a kiss and then remove her from the party.
Monday-no contact.
Tuesday-A hits K a few different times.
Wednesday-I talked to dw, so far today, A has hit K with a book and a stacking cup and stomped on her fingers while she was climbing a ladder at the park. K has bitten A on the arm when they were both riding in the double stroller.
Generally we have been handling this by removing the offender from contact, giving love and support to the victim, and explaining very seriously to the offender that they have made their friend sad.
Thanks for still being with me! I am finding this personally very hard as our family are pacifists and A has never shown any real aggression before, and certainly never to other kids. K’s parents tend to laugh off A’s aggression as in “K deserves some of the same that she’s been giving.” I guess I’m looking for input…are we handling it okay? Other than separating them, what else can we do? How can we help our normally verbal, easygoing & patient toddler to protect herself without hitting. Apparently K now flinches when she sees A coming which makes me sad.
