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Does it make you sad when you hear a mom is weaning at 1 year? or earlier?

post #1 of 53
4/26/07 at 6:06pm
Thread Starter 
I know it shouldn't matter to me how another mom chooses to feed her baby, but it always makes me a little sad to hear a mom is weaning at 1 year just because that's what everyone else does.

I probably won't completely do CLW. I am so sick of pumping at work that I'm going to eventually stop pumping and give DD cow's milk while at daycare (when the frozen bm runs out). At some point I'm going to have to night wean or I really will become a zombie at work and get nothing done. But other than that I think DD knows better than me when she is ready to be done nursing. At 11 months she is still nursing at least 6 times a day, and I can't imagine taking that away from her just because she's almost a year old.
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post #2 of 53
4/26/07 at 6:17pm
Considering that the vast majority of kids in this country aren't even nursed past six months, no. I congratulate a mother on breastfeeding for an entire year. Good for her!
post #3 of 53
4/26/07 at 6:19pm
Yes, I do feel sad. However, like the above poster I try to remind myself that baby got WAY more breastmilk than most babies in this country.
post #4 of 53
4/26/07 at 6:21pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by zinemama View Post
Considering that the vast majority of kids in this country aren't even nursed past six months, no. I congratulate a mother on breastfeeding for an entire year. Good for her!
I agree bfing for a year is a great accomplishment.

Not bfing past a year just because "that's what everyone else does" is sad.
post #5 of 53
4/26/07 at 6:26pm
Yes. But many parenting decisions make me sad.

-Angela
post #6 of 53
4/26/07 at 6:43pm
Yes it does, but it also would make me feel better that they were at least nursed for a year as the prior posters have stated.
post #7 of 53
4/26/07 at 6:47pm
Yes, but then again - many parenting decisions *I* have made make me incredibly sad!
post #8 of 53
4/26/07 at 9:06pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by angelachristine View Post
I know it shouldn't matter to me how another mom chooses to feed her baby, but it always makes me a little sad to hear a mom is weaning at 1 year just because that's what everyone else does.
Yes, it should matter! Those little people are going to grow up with your children, and you know that breastmilk is best for children for AT LEAST one year, and you know you've made informed decisions. So if it didn't matter to you how someone else chooses to feed their baby, I'd think that was strange.

Does it make me sad...?

Yes, it does. Particularly if it is a friend/acquantence of mine. Because it's that much more difficult to really talk about it, and get beyond the feelings of wanting to blurt out "gosh, I would do it differently" because you like & respect the person & know they are making what they believe to be an informed decision. And may be in the best interest of their family - you can't really know what hurdles & barriers each mother has to overcome in their own life with relation to nursing.

So I try not to judge.

But yes, it makes me sad to think of so many babies weaned too early.

Then again, as many PPs have said... it's also uplifting to think that so many more babies are being breastfed longer & longer... that the benefits of nursing are becoming more well known.
post #9 of 53
4/26/07 at 11:41pm
I have to completly agree with you. I'm ALWAYS sad to hear they're weaning JUST CUZ or for some uneducated reason like: Baby wasn't getting enough because she/he wasn't sleeping through the night, or whatever. Yep I'm glad they've gotten some milk, but I"m sad that they're being weaned for not so good reasons.
post #10 of 53
4/27/07 at 12:04am
Yes. : I wish people were better informed about breastfeeding. Paid maternity leave ends at 1 year, here in Canada. I think a lot of women wean their babies at this point because they don't realize work/breastfeeding can be compatible. Also "everyone else does it", right? Of course, many women wean before one year, which is more sad, and many women don't even try to BF at all, which is sadder still.
post #11 of 53
4/27/07 at 12:07am
Yes, it makes me sad. I try to focus on the fact that they got to nurse for much longer than most babies, but it still makes me sad.

I have said this before, but we heard a pediatrician speak at the hospital where Ani was born when I was pregnant and he said that if you were going to go back to work at six weeks that you shouldn't even bother to start breastfeeding. :
post #12 of 53
4/27/07 at 12:51am
my sil weened at 8 months because she didn't feel like doing it anymore, that made me sad because I can't imagine not wanting that special time/bond with my child but she didn't even attempt to nurse her first so it made me happy that she did it at all

it's sad that most women ween to early and that a year is a long time for a lot of families
post #13 of 53
4/27/07 at 12:23pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by APCDmama View Post
Yes. : I wish people were better informed about breastfeeding. Paid maternity leave ends at 1 year, here in Canada. I think a lot of women wean their babies at this point because they don't realize work/breastfeeding can be compatible. Also "everyone else does it", right? Of course, many women wean before one year, which is more sad, and many women don't even try to BF at all, which is sadder still.
You are so much luckier than everyone here in the US! I wish I got one year paid maternity, even if it was only a percentage of my salary. I would be home with my baby right now, probably nursing her instead of being stuck in a room at work pumping.

In another post on one of the forums here, someone mentioned an article in Cosmo that states most women stop bfing at 3-6 months (or basically implies that). Women basically think they are supposed to stop bfing at that age. I have a parenting book I got from my pedi that I started skimming the other day (realized I hadn't looked at it since DD was about 3 months old... that's what got me thinking on this topic). In the 8-12 month section it stated, "you may be thinking about weaning your baby now." While it did state you can continue to bf past one year, it basically implied that no one really does this and that you should wean at one year. I mean, while I was pregnant I just assumed I'd bf until one year because that's what you're supposed to do and there's no reason to keep going after that, right? Luckily I read better sources on bfing and am choosing to follow my instincts, but many women don't get that new information and are never really told that it's okay to keep bfing as long as your child wants.
post #14 of 53
4/27/07 at 12:29pm
No, I'm happy to hear that a baby got breast milk for so long! That is a wonderful thing!

If I know the mother or if it is in an online community, I'll make sure she understands that she CAN go longer if she wants. I believe that many women think that one year is a magical cutoff where they are "supposed" to stop (i.e., misread the AAP recommendations or their doctor is pressuring them etc). If they know that they could go longer but are making a decision to stop, I honor that. I just want to make sure everyone is informed that continuing to nurse past a year has the same nutritional and comforting benefits as nursing before a year.

Kylix
post #15 of 53
4/27/07 at 3:18pm
Sad to say I think the medical community is pushing this. I had a few fosterbabies who were bottle fed and no matter which of the three ped's I had they all told me to get them off the bottle at one! With bottle fed babies I think they are concerned about "bottle mouth" cavities, but this has morphed into, "all babies should be weaned at one".

They all also told me that at four monthes old the babies were big enough to be sleeping through the night and just to let them cry it out, which is a whole 'nother rant!

Sometimes I wonder if PED's have children or if they see them when they do?

Whats sad is there is so much conflicting advice and interference from others, I think a lot of mom's are not brave enough to listen to their own hearts and do what they feel is best for their own children.
post #16 of 53
4/27/07 at 3:34pm
Please don't be sad on my account! My beautiful, healthy son breastfed for 13 months, weaned on his own due to my pregnant body's changes, and he's the happiest, healthiest baby I've ever known. He's a great eater, growing and developing right on track, sleeps and naps beautifully, and hasn't been sick once since I pulled him from daycare at 8 months. We are terrifically well bonded and I have no regrets about our breastfeeding experience.

I'm sure your heart is in the right place but there's no need for you to be sad for my child.
post #17 of 53
4/27/07 at 3:47pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by FiddleMama View Post
Please don't be sad on my account! My beautiful, healthy son breastfed for 13 months, weaned on his own due to my pregnant body's changes, and he's the happiest, healthiest baby I've ever known. He's a great eater, growing and developing right on track, sleeps and naps beautifully, and hasn't been sick once since I pulled him from daycare at 8 months. We are terrifically well bonded and I have no regrets about our breastfeeding experience.

I'm sure your heart is in the right place but there's no need for you to be sad for my child.
My post was definitely not aimed at you! It makes me sad when moms choose to wean their babies just because that's "what they're supposed to do." If your baby weaned himself, that's completely different.
post #18 of 53
4/27/07 at 3:48pm
Not really, a year is a huge accomplishment! AS a CLW mom I know there is so much more that can only be experienced by those couplets who go beyond a year but I can still celebrate those moms and babies who made a great start.

I feel genuinely sad for those babies who never even got a chance; the ones I see at a few days old in Walmart being pushed around in baby seats with a bottle propped in their mouths.
post #19 of 53
4/27/07 at 4:04pm
See, I see this so differently. I am a person who believes everyone does what they think is best for their family. People dont wean because they are trying to hurt their children, or bottle feed because they are trying to hurt them. They do what they know is best for them.

I bottle fed my twins. I tried to nurse for 3 weeks and was a zombie. I couldnt think straight, they needed supplements because I just didnt have enough for 2 at first. I wasnt getting any sleep, they just wanted to stay latched on all the time, which with 2 is not possible unless your sitting in a chair in the middle of the night when they are newborns. I quit because I was a better mom with sleep and patience then sleep deprived zombie. Am I selfish to you? Maybe, but to me, that was best for my family. I was devestated to stop nursing. I didnt even have a huge supply of bottles because I wasnt planning on bottles. I cried for weeks. But I know my kids are healthy, happy 19 month olds

Everyone does things differently. I think nursing after a certain point in a childs life is wrong. I am not going to go pass judgement on that person, to each his own.

I dont co-sleep. I cant. Tried, and COULDNT sleep. I woke up every 2 seconds. Joshua went into his bed at 3 weeks old, in the other room. He is exclusivly breastfed, and sleep perfectly through the night now that he isnt in my room. 10 hours at night. Most of you dont agree he should go that long. He is 18 lbs, he is growing just fine, and my supply is just fine with him going that long. So that is what is good for us.

I think people shouldnt feel bad for others children for something that is safe, and their own choice. Obviously is a child is beat, neglected, feel bad, even say something. But if someone wants to wean at 12 months, You dont know why. Get over it. To each his or her own, nursing till 12 months is a good lenght these days when women wont even stay home with their children (FIRM believer in SAHMing... but i KNOW sometimes that just ISNT possible. Dont judge though).

BTW, took my son in yesterday, he is exclusivly breastfed, and he has an ear infection.... Younger then Elijah did and he was bottle fed. Elizabeth was bottle fed, and has never had one. The twins sat unassited at 5 months, perfectly. Joshua is almost 7 and is not there yet. Elijah cruised and crawled at 6 months, again, joshua doesnt even get on his knees. Elijah was bottle fed, Joshua is EB.

My only point is that people who choose to bottle feed are not making their kids stupid. My bottle fed children are EXTREMELY intellegent. My breast fed baby is farther behind. I dont feel I did the twins a disservice by bottlefeeding them, although all future babies will be nursed.
post #20 of 53
4/27/07 at 4:20pm
Quote:
I am a person who believes everyone does what they think is best for their family.
:

Well said, mama.
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