Does it make you sad when you hear a mom is weaning at 1 year? or earlier? - Page 3

[SunRayeMomi]

I felt sad when a highschool friend got in touch with me and asked me (a day before her daughter's first birthday) what the easiest way to wean to whole milk was. She had stopped breastfeeding at three months, I'm not sure the reason there, but I thought in my head that if she was still nursing she wouldn't have to wean to cow's milk at all. Ever. But I kept that to myself since it wouldn't apply to her. I didn't have an answer for her though

The things that make me sad aren't when a child is weaned or if a child is ever breastfed, but why. It's often because of being uninformed or misinformed, and THAT is what makes me sad.

[sillymommaX2]

It doesnt make me sad. I am just happy that they made it to one year. Everybody has to do what they think is right for their own family.

[rainymorning]

i do feel sad. and i can't do anything about it, about feeling sad, i mean.

[Meredith&Alexander]

Maybe a little, but I've learned not to dwell on it. Not my body, not my baby, not my choice.

But when a baby isn't weaned at a year, I'm thrilled.

[pixiepunk]

i'm really surprised at some of the responses in this thread. i mean, this is the child-led weaning forum. so i'm imagining that the OP was probably assuming that those reading here were those who were dedicated to CLW, or at least extended nursing. i'm especially surprised by this:

Everyone does things differently. I think nursing after a certain point in a childs life is wrong. I am not going to go pass judgement on that person, to each his own.

i don't mean to sound snarky, honestly, but why are you in a CLW forum if you not only are not intending to CLW but in fact seem to feel that past a certain point it is "wrong"? this is supposed to be a forum where people interested in CLW can come to find support and help.

[sasshell]

I for one cannot wait to wean DD. And it does make me sad.

I don't know why-but for some reason I've never gotten the warm fuzzies everyone told me I would when seeing my babe at my breast. I'm mentally exhausted, sick of being sucked on, tired of leaky breasts and tired of hearing the whine DD has reserved just for me when she wants to nurse. I despise being her sole source of nutrition.

I feel extremely overwhelmed with guilt for me dislike of BFing, but I can't bring myself to give her a bottle of formula. I can only wonder if I was meant to be a mother considering I am completely lacking the tolerance to BF. I just soldier on only knowing I would never forgive myself if I ever gave her a bottle of artificial baby milk. I am grateful I was given the tenacity to stick with it, even though I am so miserable.

[ShadowMom]

Originally Posted by sasshell

I for one cannot wait to wean DD. And it does make me sad.

I don't know why-but for some reason I've never gotten the warm fuzzies everyone told me I would when seeing my babe at my breast. I'm mentally exhausted, sick of being sucked on, tired of leaky breasts and tired of hearing the whine DD has reserved just for me when she wants to nurse. I despise being her sole source of nutrition.

I feel extremely overwhelmed with guilt for me dislike of BFing, but I can't bring myself to give her a bottle of formula. I can only wonder if I was meant to be a mother considering I am completely lacking the tolerance to BF. I just soldier on only knowing I would never forgive myself if I ever gave her a bottle of artificial baby milk. I am grateful I was given the tenacity to stick with it, even though I am so miserable.

*

[natashaccat]

I do feel bad when there is misinformation involved. With my first I was one of those moms who thought that I was doing something wrong because my dd wasn't sleeping through the night and was still nursing so intently at 1 yo. I followed my instincts and continued to nurse and did not CIO but my attitude was conflicted.

Weaning because you think you are supposed to is different than weaning because it's something you have to do in order to otherwise meet their own needs and the needs of their other children.

[thismama]

Okay, yes. I do feel sad. I don't feel sad for babes whose mamas attempted nursing but it didn't get off the ground (this happens often IMO due to the layers of barriers to bf). I also don't really even feel sad for babes who are ff and bf was never attempted. Or maybe I do a little.

But the babes who are nursed and then weaned stupidly early, yes I feel sad. 1 year is the norm here, and I think OMG are people freaking sheeple that they just wean at a year becoz that is what you do? Yes it seems they are. Which is ridiculous given the fact that if you open your eyes and look at the baby in front of you, s/he probably very OBVIOUSLY still wants and needs to nurse. Like, HELLO.

Okay, I'm a bit triggered by this. Yes I feel sad. And judgmental.

[ElliesMomma]

i agree with the above post, in that it seems a lot harder on the baby emotionally to wean at a year vs., say 4 months, when breast could be replaced with a bottle and the baby would hardly notice the difference. by one year, they know what mom's got, and they're used to getting it. to cut them off at a year seems pretty cruel. yes, lots of people do it. we just passed a year and nursing as strong as ever. i have no intention to cut her off. i'm sure the naysayer people will start to comment soon, oh well.

[frontierpsych]

To me, it really depends on whether the weaning was gentle. I definitely agree it is more than optimal to CLW, but cutting a kid off cold Turkey because the earth made one rotation around the sun makes no sense to me.

[mommy2zander]

Babies/children not getting to bf for months or years does make me sad... but not in a judgemental way... more of a morning sadness...

Zander & I have always enjoyed nursing so much... he's a wild kid & can be a huge handful, & when I see how overstimulated he sometimes gets just playing with toys or another child, it's just so nice that he can come back & relax & nurse...

So yes, it makes ME sad that other babies/moms might miss out on this.. but I do understand that breastfeeding is not the same experience for everyone & that some mamas have other ways of connecting with their kiddos & that not everyone has had the same experience of relaxing breastfeeding...

I agree with the op that it's sad when a mom/baby have an easy relaxing bf relationship & are pressured to wean by our western society... if the situation is different, mom & baby aren't mutually happy with bf relationship, it's still sad, but it's a different kind of sad...

I think between being pregnant & tired, I just really need to go to bed!! : But I can say from the bottom of my heart that I'm not judging anyone (I believe most people do the best they can do & I shouldn't judge anyone who's story I haven't lived), but I'd be happy to see 90% of children be bf longer then they are... & for more kiddos/mamas to be able to experience the joy/love/peace that Zander/I have experienced with breast feeding...

[Ruthla]

Yeah, I'm always a little sad whenever I hear of a mama-led weaning, esp if the baby is under 2. I usually try to hide my reaction from the mama in question, so as to spare her feelings and not make it seem like I'm being judgemental, but that initial reaction still happens.

Yes, I understand that there are various things going on in every family and there are plenty of valid reasons for mother led weaning at any age, and plenty of valid reasons for a baby to stop nursing before the age of two (mama's subsequent pg, for example.) Nonetheless, I still feel a little bit sad for the babies who aren't able to nurse as long as they could.