Your parents reactions to not circ'ing? - Page 3

[swimswamswum]

My mom works in a NICU and has to leave the room when parents circ because it's so upsetting to her. She was obviously supportive. My mom told me that my dad isn't circed (I didn't know). I haven't told him that we won't circ, but I assume he will be cool with it.

I don't know about the ILs and I really don't care. We live in different states and while I love them dearly, I kind of doubt they're going to be that well acquainted with my son's penis anyway. We will definitely visit lots, but we won't leave our kids with them until they're much older. They're wonderful people but they already think DH and I are "crunchy granolas" so I'm sure they won't be surprised or bothered.

[DoulaClara]

Not sure about the inlaws just yet, but I imagine they'll be reasonable human beings! DH was circ'ed, and I imagine his brother was as well. I think (but I'm not positive) that my SIL did, too. They're rather "live and let live," so I'm not the slightest bit concerned.

My mom and I talked about it at great length. She seemed very sad when she asked, "What are your reasons for not?" I realized that she was struggling with remembering her own choices, and didn't take it as "rejection of my choices," so rather than expound on the evils and cruelty of mothers who do, I gave reasons why it is unnecessary- and she told me that with her first son (my younger brother), they just took him away and did it without any discussion. She felt sad after the fact, as he was in pain. With my youngest brother, she said again they just took him, and this time she could hear him screaming all the way down the hall, and it broke her heart. We talked a lot that day about how, as a young mother, she really wasn't ever aware of her options, and none of the tentative ones she had (outside of BF-ing) were supported by any stretch of the imagination. By the end of the conversation, she sounded extremely supportive of our decisions.

Clara

[kxsiven]

Well. My parents did not naturally react anyway - I wonder if they even know such a thing excists.
My MIL was an American mom in the end of 60's&70's when it was 'just done' in USA, but she is today well educated nurse who thinks it is very much unnecessary thing to do.

[hunnybumm]

Well, I don't know how well known it is in my family, but I have only brought it up to my close family. My step mom is anti-circ but she never informed me until after DS#1 was cut and I realized it and started feeling guilty. Then she said "Yeah, I never wanted to circ J, but your dad really wanted it done. Thankfully we chose to wait until his 1 week visit, but because of what happened he never and go to through it." Her son, my half brother had a heart condition and passed at 3 weeks, so they didn't have it done since they knew he wouldn't make it. I just wished she had shared this with me BEFORE I cut DS#1 since in previous conversations she had mentioned that maybe I should wait until his 1 week check, but never mentioned just not doing it! I never realized we could just not have it done. Anyways, she was very happy we we didn't have it done and gave me props for taking a strong stand against DH. When DS#2 was born she asked if I pushed his foreskin back to clean at every diaper change or just in the bath, I told her never, your not suppose to.

My sister was totally supportive. We had talked a lot and I gave her a ton of info on why it wasn't needed and how horrible it was. I don't know how strongly she feels about it, and I am not sure if she will take a stand against her fiance, but she isn't very likely to be able to physically have children.

My mom just rolled her eyes and said "Oh, I am suuuure you researched it and KNOW that is the best. *sigh*" I told her that yes it was the best and yes I did do a lot of research and I would NEVER do it to another child. She was like.. whatever...

My MIL just said "Are you EVER going to do it?" I said very nicely "nope, and you are never suppose to pull back the foreskin." she just said "Ok" and that was that.

I have no clue how my dad feels, I don't think he cares. He just loves his grandsons and thinks they hung the moon. I haven't talked to my brothers, but they are still pretty young (17&19) and we don't really get along and they aren't really interested in parenting or anything to do with it. LOL They love their nephews but could care less about circ or breastfeeding or anything like that.

My BILs I don't know, I don't know them very well and they are both circ, but are also very young (16 &17).

My extended family, I think all the boys are cut, but we don't talk about it, I don't see them very often because we live so far away.

[witchbaby]

my parents didn't care really, but probably leaned towards the intact side-- my dad is intact.
my in-laws are slightly bothered, i think. my fil is a ped and i think he still believes it's "cleaner." i was SO terrified to leave m with them for the first extended amount of time last weekend, afraid they'd try to retract his foreskin to clean him if he pooped. the boy must have known! he didn't poop AT ALL that day!

[Igraine]

I have had a few family members (grandma, aunts, dear friends) change my ds's diaper when he was a baby and no one every said a thing.

I never made a big deal out of the fact that we did not circumcise nor did I try to hide the fact.

[annalaura]

when i told my mom she seemed kind of suprised...but after i explained to her why we were choosing not to circumcise him,she was supportive of my decision. i never really talked to my dad about it. he's seen my son naked though and changed his diapers a few times,so he knows hes intact- he's never really mentioned anything about it. my husbands parents were supportive from the get go because my husbands is intact,so thats just how they think
in the end,everyone was pretty supportive.

[elmh23]

My mom said she never understood why people did it in the first place. Apparently my dad was intact (I've never had a relationship with him since the broke up before she knew she was pregnant and he's a UA violation.)

My MIL stated that dh and his brother weren't circ'd. Well dh is! And SIL told me that BIL is also. I personally just think MIL can't remember. ETA: I'm pretty sure FIL doesn't know.

[smeep]

My parents were VERY supportive of my decision to leave my son intact. Before I did much research (a couple mainstream sites that say the "benefits" are "equal" either way and that it was "just some skin") I was leaning towards circing. My dad asked me not to (he didn't beg on his hands and knees...but he was definitely not wanting me to do it). He told me that my brothers (who died before I was born) were left intact and that he wish he'd been left intact so he could've had a choice. Over time I found out the REAL truth about circumcision and said no and eventually became horrified that I even considered it. So, yes, my parents were extremely supportive and very relieved that I chose to leave my son intact.

My son's "father" isn't around. He's pulled a bunch of crap and his parents aren't involved in their grandson's life either. But, I have a feeling that his mother would've been sort of supportive of it. Not necessarily against my decision, but not necessarily for it. That's how she was when I told her I was going to have my son in a birthing center, she figured I knew I'd do what was right, even though she knew nothing of out-of-hospital births. I assume his father probably wouldn't have had anything to say either way (he...doesn't tlak much lol). So I don't think I would've gotten any crap from either of them.

[Ilaria]

I'm Italian (from Italy, not just 'of Italian descent') and RIC is unheard of Italy. They would have flipped if I had said we were doing it!


Dh's father said, upon learning on the phone he had a grandson, "Make sure you get him circ'd or he'll be made fun of, blah, blah..." and Dh "No one does that anymore, Dad". "Oh, ok"

[fishface]

I love typing things and then having this godawful internet crap out on me. LOOOOOOOOOOVE IT.

Anyway, my mom and FMIL think it's necessary for hygiene.: Yeah, because all those gnarly, infected penises sure put a damper on humankind til RIC saved the day. I don't know what my dad and FFIL think. If the moms are such cheerleaders for circ, they are more than welcome to grow their very own penises and hack off their foreskin. Any future sons of mine will be keeping theirs. Sorry 'bout it. :

[njeb]

My mother never said anything about it. She'd left my brother intact, after all, and I'm pretty sure that my dad and uncles were intact. Yeah, Mom!

My in-laws never said anything about it, either. My dh is circ'ed, but my in-laws lived 600 miles away, so they only saw our sons about once or twice a year. They've been dead for some time now, so I never learned why my dh is cut.

[momuveight2B]

They don't get a vote and it is not open for discussion. Our parents wouldn't dream of trying to tell us how to parent.

[2tadpoles]

My parents were nonchalant. I don't think the issue ever came up with them, because I'm an only child and they never had to make that decision....but my dad was intact, so I'm not sure what they would have done with a boy. My dad was intact because of time and culture. I'm not sure if he would have been swayed by medical "reasons" to circ.

The boys' grandfather on their dad's side is also intact, also due to time and culture. They circed their own son, though. But they didn't say anything about our decision to keep the boys intact....I'm not sure whether they even have an opinion. It's likely they only circed their son because the hospital suggested it, and they're kind of sheep-like sometimes.

[A&A]

Mom: "Your father's glad he's circumcised."
Me:
Mom again: "Babies feel less pain than older children."
Me: "Actually that's not true! Babies feel pain very acutely."

MIL: "You two will do anything to be different."
Me:

FIL: "I've always thought that circumcision was cruel, anyway."
Me in my head: "Why, exactly, is my dh circumcised then?"

[LotusBirthMama]

It was a non issue..surprisingly. My IL's have never said a word (FIL is intact--all the sons are cut). My father (intact) said to me "Oh, I see Casey got something from me." My mother said she wishes she hadn't done it to my brothers but she didn't know she had a choice. She did tell me that my brother was nursing in the hospital, fell asleep...they took him to circ, he woke up from the pain, and when they brought him back he refused to nurse and never did again. :

[jocelyndale]

It was a non-issue with my mom. My brother was circ'd, but she said that it wasn't really something she had any info on at the time. Her ped said, "you're circing, right? It reduces the risk of cervical cancer in future partners" and she said, "uh, okay?" That was over twenty years ago. I just told mom that we weren't doing it and she didn't care at all.

I couched it a bit differently with my MiL. We were changing Ronan's diaper and I said, "I don't know what they taught you in nursing school about the uncircumcised penis, but you should never retract a baby's foreskin. I just wanted to give you a heads-up since procedures change."

She's an RN who's been in management forever, so she just said, "okay, works for me. I'm not sure I've even seen one like this--both of the boys were cut."

She was fine with it. I have no clue what my dad and FiL think, but my dad would mention it to me if he were really worried and my FiL would probably have sent my husband an email if he were concerned. For all I know, it's such a non-issue that neither my mother nor my MiL have passed on the info.

When folks exclaim that he's such a good baby, I just smile and say it's because we didn't whack his willy off. Hey, it's just been a week--sleep deprivation can explain a lot.

[mntnmom]

It was a non-issue for us. All the men in DH's family are intact.
My mom was a little confused when I told her there's no reason to do it, but didn't argue.
My circ'd dad was a little defensive, but he's an old hippie...so throwing out traditions that don't make sense is no big deal to him.

[mamamillet]

Well my mom is was very supportive and has shared with other pregnant couples some intact info as well. She circed my brother and regrets it--she did not want to but my dad did. SHe is now married to an intact man--which I only found out about after the I left ds intact. My dad, like many of my parenting decisions, gave his 2 cents, to which I replied, nope I am not having it done, and it was left at that-not another word.
DS other grandparents I have no idea nothing was ever said. Ds's dad is circed but his mom is now married to a man from croatia that I am assuming is intact. In general I have pretty supportive parents--for which I am very thankful!

[2 in August]

We haven't told the inlaws. I think they probably assume we did since they circ'd dh.

My mom brought it up while I was pg. Apparently my cousin left his son intact and my uncle was worried because he was circ'd at 3yo and still (at 60ish) remembers how bad it was so he thinks it should be done at birth so the baby won't remember. I told her we were going to leave ds as-is. She admitted that my brother is circ'd because they were told they had to. After I educated my parents, they are supportive of our decision.