Your parents reactions to not circ'ing? - Page 4

[MyBoysBlue]

I think that we would of had a problem if we had decided TO circ. No one in my or DH's immediate families is circ'ed except my brother. He smooshed his penis badly with the toilet seat when he was being potty trained. It didn't heal right and was circ'ed at 6. It probably didn't have to go that far but my parents didn't question the doc. So for us it was never a question, we just didn't circ. I never knew it was a big deal either way until MDC. Now I can't imagine ever doing it. I am so glad that even though we were uninformed that we made the correct decision.

[wannalilcountry]

My mother had 4 girls, and even then she told me not to circ my sons, my father is not circed, and told me not to circ, my inlaws think it is disgusting and nasty to not circ, but these are the same people who claim that nursing 9is perverted and if god wanted it, then he wouldnt have created formula.......

None of my 5 boys were circed.

[Greeneyes0506]

My Mom told me my son would hate me for not doing it. After I told her how a circumcision is performed (she thought it was a snip like the umbilicl cord) the functions of a foreskin and that there are no health benefits, she's pro-intact. My Dad has never mentioned it.

DH's parents would flip out and try to get him circed behind our backs. They're Muslim.

[onelilguysmommy]

hmm..my mom, she was a tthe hospital with me.
my mom asked the oncall ped when it was being done. she said it was 350 out of pocket. my mom told me that id have to pay for it, i said i idnt give a crap how much it was cause it wasnt being done, even if it had been free. she then tried to convince that doc to get me to do it. oh yeah THAT makes sense!
but anyway, she explained that a lot of people in that area dontdo it, and if she thought it should be done to make him like other kids, thats stupid, and about it costing money, and its not mediaclly needed, etc, and had a comeback to everything my mom asked of her to try to get me to do it.
then, she had tried to get nurses, and another doc in the hspital to get me to do t. ummm..no.

ANYWAY, so yh. shes still not thrulled hes not circd, but oh well. she wont discuss with me much of anything other than she thnks youre supposed to if youre christian. :sigh: but..yeah.
my 8yo brother had iot done, and she said that..like im supposed to want my kid to look like my brother? oh yeah and my sons dad is..so??
:

my dad i dont think he knows. he isnt..or didnt used to be anyway, i dont know about now, since theyve been apart almost 15 years, and none of his family has seen my son naked, so none of them know either LOL so i dont know what theyd think or if my 7yo cousin is or not, i dont remember what they said about it...but anyway, yup. she is irritated about it, and my dad has no clue.

[corgimom]

The only one besides Lucas who knows that I do not plan to circ our future sons is my mom. I told her about the video I watched of the procedure. She immediately felt guilty about having my brother circ'd in 1982 and said that if she had been more knowledgable, he would not have been circ'd. When my brother was born, the doc said, "You are having him circ'd right?" Back then, it was just assumed that it would be done. I honestly don't know how my dad or Lucas' parents would react. Lucas' mom is a "do what you want without worrying about offending others" type of person, so I think she will be fine with it. The one I worry about the most is Lucas' aunt. She is one of those people who feels the need to give her advice/opinion on everything, so I expect to hear some complaints from her if she ever sees our future Atticus naked. But then again, her middle son is married to a woman from Bulgaria. I don't know what Bulgaria's rate of circ is, but I doubt it is as high as the US. It's possible that their son is not circ'd. If he isn't circ'd then maybe we won't get as much grief.

[iris0110]

My inlaws have never actually said anything about it to me. I don't know if they have to dh or not. If so he hasn't mentioned it. I totally forgot the first time they babysat to give them the run down on not messing with it. I made dh call his mom and just let her know that he didn't need retracted at diaper changes. I think dh said "penis" about 30 times in that conversation cause he knew it would make me blush and he knew is would fluster his mom. He's such a nut.

My mom asked when ds2 was a few weeks old why we hadn't had him done. Ds1 is cut, it was done at the hospital without my permission and I was too young and uneducated about it to know to be upset. I just told her that new studies show that there is no reason to do it. She just said "oh, when we had your brother they said there were medical benefits." And that was the end of it. My dad went on about it for a while. Asking wasn't it a problem that he didn't look like dh or ds1 (this is the man who wouldn't help my brother learn to use the potty because he didn't want brother to see him naked. He is uber private about it). I told him we just did what is in ds's best interest. He does ask from time to time things like "who will teach him how to take care of it?" I don't know if he is trying to be difficult or genuinely concerned. It's hard to tell with him, and I have a tendency to get defensive. I just tell him not to worry it's easy to take care of and dh can show him even though he is cut. What I haven't said is that dh is planning to restore so they will look alike. I just worry about poor ds1 if dh restores. He will be the odd one out, and I won't be able to say "but it is better to be intact." to help him.

[Rez]

Only my 1st or 2nd post but had to vent about my mom...

I researched before my son was born and decided to keep him intact. We ended up having him at the wrong hospital (long story) with the majority of the patients being Hispanic. If I wanted my son circ'ed I would have had to wait and have the ped do it as they didn't circ routinely at this hospital.

I feel so lame because that's the excuse I used on my mom. Just recently I was complaining about my son's behavior and she told me "See, if you would have had him circ'd he wouldn't be acting like that" HUH? My son is 3 years old and she's still throwing those nasty comments at me. Needless to say she got an earful and then a click.

I have two brothers who are circ'd and I think deep down mom feels guilty about it. Another comment she made was "what, is your son better than mine?" when I tried to explain my reason for not cutting my boy. I also let a lot slide because she's 75 yo now and has MS and I don't want to upset her, just yes her to death.

IL's didn't care either way. I did find out my fil was intact.

[Azuralea]

They were totally supportive. All the men in my side of the family are intact, same with DH's family. Both sides find circumcision horrifying. They are mostly all Americans btw. If I had decided to circumcise it would have caused a huge family uproar. Of course that was never an option.

[dancindoula]

My mom's reaction when I told her we didn't plan to circ any future sons was curiosity then regret at having had it done to my brother. I don't actually know my dad's reaction since he wasn't part of the conversation, but I imagine it would be the same. My MIL didn't learn about the evils of circ until after she had her 2 sons, but about a year ago out of the blue over dinner she took it upon herself to apologize to my DH for having his "poor little penis" cut instead of protecting him. Yeah. He was like "thanks, Mom."

Hey, it's the thought, right?

[Eben'sMama]

DH's parents were a bit surprised, as I'm pretty sure that every other male child and grandchild in the family has been circ'd. Once we explained our reasons for opposing circumcision, they were completely supportive. My family was completely supportive; they are accustomed to my doing things the non-mainstream way.

[Katielady]

My mom's reaction makes me so happy. At the time she didn't say anything and was just sort of neutral about it. Later, she told me that she thought it was "a little weird" when I first told her we were going to keep our son intact, but that the more she heard from me about it the more she came to realise that RIC is wrong. This is a big deal for her too- she is a nurse and her branch of the family is very medical, and very supportive of the medical model and mistrustful of anything outside it. So this is a big turnaround for her. I'm so glad she kept an open mind about it. She works as a school nurse in an elementary school and she's always telling me that when she sees an intact boy now, she feels like the penis looks so natural and so protected, and that circed boys look so raw and wounded to her now. And she's also told me that the circed boys often come in because their penises hurt from being chafed against rough material, and that this never happens to the intact boys.

Go mom!

My dad's barely in my life, so I don't think I've ever had a conversation with him about it.

The inlaws were another story- they are orthodox Jewish, so they were horrified. They tried to sell DH the whole "it's just skin" thing, and at one point when DH said "I don't want to cut off part of his penis," FIL said "it's not part of the penis!" : But to their credit, they didn't say a word once DS was born.

[Lady Madonna]

My mother is the only grandparent who has said a word - she told me that he would hate me when he's 14 or 15 because we didn't circumcise. I told her that when he's 14 or 15 he'll probably hate me for all sorts of reasons and if he hates me for not cutting off part of his body, I'm sure I'll get over it. I didn't add "as soon as he has sex and realizes how very nice it is to be whole" because I didn't want to give her heart failure, but I think she got that it was implied.

Apparently my grandfather "had" to be circumcised when he was in his 60s and it was "so painful". My response was that at least my grandfather was unconscious and got pain relief he could control, unlike infants, so, well, forget it.

And that was the end of that. I did make sure that when she first changed him, she knew not to retract and we haven't had any issues on that front. I think she has chalked it up to me being (as compared to anyone else in our entire family) a liberal hippie weirdo.

My in-laws would die before they'd even think of talking about DS's penis. My dad knows it's none of his danged business, and my step-dad heard enough about the discussion between my mom and me to know to not even go there.

[AstridS]

Originally Posted by Katielady

The inlaws were another story. They tried to sell DH the whole "it's just skin" thing, and at one point when DH said "I don't want to cut off part of his penis," FIL said "it's not part of the penis!" : But to their credit, they didn't say a word once DS was born.

Wow. That says a lot about the state of denial, that some circed men are in...:

[lbchacon]

My parents-in-law are fine with it since they didn't circumcise any of their 3 sons. My dad, who wasn't circumcised either, was disappointed and said he would have voted FOR circumcision...I told him that's nice to know but this issue was never up for voting! Since then, he's never mentioned it.

[Cinder]

there was no reaction...I'm not even sure if my il's know or not, and my mom couldn't of cared less what decision we made.

[CherylDec&Jul]

So far the only parent that knows is my mom (the baby isnt due til July) so its likely it wont come up with the others until after babys born.

When dh & I were debating to leave intact or not my mom very sadly said "I cant believe they are still doing that to little boys!" Which really surprised dh as she's pretty mainstream & often doesnt give her opinion (ie, well, you need to look at the facts & do whats best kind of answers). Even I didnt think she would be against it so I was a little surprised too (I was just trying to show dh it wasnt a big medical deal to leave intact & was looking for a neutral reaction from her)! But her reaction was one of the two things that helped dh look at the research material much more closely so it was really great!

I also told me sister. She just said wants to see it as she's never seen an intact penis (her son is circ'd).

My family is pretty supportive on most things (or at least arent negative if we do something different) so I would be surprised to get any negatives comments from that side. My in-laws are more opininated so I may hear something from them. . . but we dont see them as often and they dont really "do" diaper changes much so it could be some time before they even know.

[octobersweethearts]

My parents were very supportive. My father is intact and very happy that way. My mom is now married to a Chinese American who is intact as well. So it was completely a non issue.

My husbands family asked when we were having it done while we were in the hospital and I told them we weren't. I think they thought it was just more of my more "crunchy" lifestyle, I guess. You know, the wooden toys, the organic food, etc.

My MIL still tells me I will regret not circ'ing. Apparently her uncle had to have it done at 40 yrs old due to some sort of infection. I don't even try to go into why this happens sometimes. :

[alissakae]

Well, since my family has never circumcised and my mom describes circumcision as "mean", this has definitely NOT been an issue on my side of the family. I probably would have been disowned if I'd done anything that cruel to one of my babies!

My in-laws carefully avoided the subject from day one. I know they disapprove, and my brother-in-law (the "golden boy" of the family) proudly mutilated HIS son : . We're the black sheep since we homebirth, breastfeed for over a year, etc. anyway

[Katielady]

Originally Posted by AstridS

Wow. That says a lot about the state of denial, that some circed men are in...:

I know, right? If it's not part of the penis, then what is it...part of the elbow? I'm big on seeing things as they are...it's so strange to me when people create these elaborate lies to comfort themselves rather than facing up to reality.

[Jennifer3141]

My parents just chalk it up to my being weird. I'm sure my Mom researched it on the 'net and found out how ridiculous it really is.

My ILs don't know. They don't have much contact with us.