local article...aarrrrgh! - Page 2

[purplepaisleymama]

I would really like to put in "Please feel free to remind them of the other things that irritate you in life, the people who have different colored skin and the people who have all of the special parking, I am sure that you will get a response.", but I am pretty sure that is going a bit far.
laura

[papercranegirl]

Anyone else find it odd that he has no problem reaching for the milk from the teat of animal who stands in poop all day but has a problem with milk from a clean source that was specifically designed for human consumption?

[earthgirl]

Here's what I sent him:

Dear Mr.Winokoor,

I just read your piece on breastfeeding in public and to say I am appalled is an understatement. The benefits of breastfeeding are irrefutable, so it is always surprising to me that there are still people, such as yourself, who feel the need to berate it.

I was quite confused by your reaction to Dr. Tracy and the incident at IParty. On the one hand, you say "she comes across as a decent, sincere individual", yet you assumed she, and all mothers who breastfeed in public, must only do so to make some sort of point. If you believe Dr. Tracy to be a sincere person, then why not believe the only reason she attempted to feed her child in the middle of the store was simply because he was hungry? Could she have gone to the bathroom to feed him? Perhaps, but why should she have to? I can think of no other circumstance in which someone would be asked to eat in a public bathroom, so why should this be advised for babies?

I also found it interesting that you pointed out that you are not used to "seeing babies suckling". Ironically, it's opinions such as your own that keep many women from nursing in public. I can assure you if mothers were not made to feel bad about it, then we would all see more of it, thus ending the "public controversy".

You also mention concern for how the act of public breastfeeding may affect the child. You make the conclusion that "there's a legion of kids nowadays who have grown up thinking they're extra-special, entitled and oh-so-superior" because they were given breastmilk. Need I remind you that until very recently ALL babies were given breastmilk so this new "legion" must be due to something else. Considering that the number of babies who are breastfed is quite low in America, maybe you should point the blame on formula manufacturers.
Lastly, I want to comment on your assumption that mothers who nurse in public are immature, as this is what I found to be most bothersome. To become a mother and make the decision to breastfeed is quite responsible, but to continue breastfeeding after being made to feel ashamed for it is one of the most mature decisions a mother can make.

Sincerely,
"me"

[MaryTheres]

I sent an email to him

His piece was os incredibly offensive.

Here's my email:

Mr. Winokoor,

When a mother drops to the floor to nurse a two month old, I can assure you it is not about YOU or "making a point" or anything like that. When you are a nursing mother and your newborn baby (2 months is so very young) starts telling you he or she is hungry, you are overcome with an overwhelming desire to nurse your baby. That mother was simply desperate to feed her newborn - period. Trust me, I am a nursing mother and that is all that is going through my head when I nurse. I promise you, it is not about you or any other man or "a cause." It is about a defenseless baby, my baby, who is in need. I suspect it is a hormonal reaction honed by years of evolution necessary for baby's survival and for human survival in general. A nursing mother's breasts will literally start leaking milk at the sound of a baby's cry - so overwhelming is the desire to nurse the baby. So, I can assure you, it's not about anything but caring for and nourishing a baby. And no baby should have to nurse in a bathroom - especially a filthy public bathroom! Seriously, would you eat and drink in a bathroom? On a toilet? There is no where to sit (which is very necessary to nurse, at least for me), and they are loaded with germs (and if a newborn get rotavirus or any other virus, it can be FATAL to the baby).

The very best nutrition for children is breast milk. There is simply no doubt about this. The American Association of Pediatrics recommends that children receive breast milk exclusively for the first six months. Nursing is not even close to being the same as urinating or having a bowel movement! A nursing mother is not having sex or masturbating - she is FEEDING a newborn. Moreover, she is doing something wonderful not only for her baby but also general public health! You should be thanking her for nursing, not condemning her. Numerous studies show that breastfed children reap the benefits not only as newborns, but as infants, toddlers and adults. In addition, mothers who have breastfed have a significantly reduced risk of breast cancer. This is good for public health - it is good for our society!

As for your statement that "one also has to ponder how this type of adult-baby behavior will eventually affect the child." I can tell you how breastfeeding a child will affect him or her: studies show that breast fed children are sick much less often - it is a food that also offers natural pain relief, http://www.pregnancy.com.au/the_plea...astfeeding.htm Journal of Human Lactation, March 1991, and antibodies to fight illness, (such as secondary infections), http://www.llli.org/llleaderweb/LV/LVAugSep05p88.html, along with emotional comfort; it is a food that scientists say may literally destroy cancer cells, http://discovermagazine.com/1999/jun/featcancer http://www.mothering.com/articles/ne...ine-chest.html. Furthermore, studies show that when breastfed children grow up they handle stress better and have higher IQ's. Do you not want smart, physically healthy as well as emotionally healthy children and adults in our society? That is what breastfeeding does. Educate yourself, please. If you find you must condemn, then condemn the mothers (and fathers) who do not care for their children - who do not feed them (let alone nurse them), who abandoned them, who ignore their needs and their cries. It is those type of mothers who raise unhealthy children - physically, mentally and emotionally. Such babies become the adults who burden our society and communities with physical and mental health problems. The mothers who breastfeed are not only caring for their babies but they are caring for them in the best possible way! The next time you see a nursing mother think about that - think about what she is really doing for her child and ultimately for all of us.

I welcome and look forward to any further dialogue with you on this situation.

[Romana]

I wrote a long letter. I just hated the misconceptions perpetuated by the article, specifically:

Breastfeeding in public is the same as urinating or defecating in public;

Breastfeeding in a public restroom is a reasonable expectation;

A two-month-old can wait to eat until mom's got out to the car/restroom/wherever;

A breastfeeding woman can convince her baby to take a bottle;

A breasfteeding woman can magically warm cold breastmilk or formula with her heat vision so it will be acceptable to her infant.

Okay, I didn't quite put it that way in my letter. But I was honest and said his comments showed ignorance of normal breastfeeding and infant behavior. I don't care if my letter doesn't "convince him" that he should really be nicer to nursing mothers. I had to call a spade a spade.

Julia
dd 1

[MaryTheres]

loved your email, earthgirl!

[WNB]

Originally Posted by Momma2SoSweet

What a !!! I have no coherent thoughts, as I am fuming!

"And next time you go shopping with your infant in your arms, try bringing along a baby bottle."

Just had to say, my daughter refused a bottle from day one. No matter how many times we tried to get her to take one 'just in case' she never would. Seven months later, she still won't.

I think his closing line is a good jumping off point for any letters, as it really crystallizes the double standards in our society.

The "nightmare" section of the article deals with all sorts of scenarios in which people are taking care of personal business which is better done in private (according to the author): personal hygiene, urination and defecation, and, importantly, eating.

However, with his last line, he makes it clear that it isn't really EATING that's the problem. It's the food source with which he has a problem. A "baby bottle" would make everything OK in his mind, but milk coming from a breast is nightmare-inducing.

Nightmares often stem from unresolved psychological problems. Perhaps the author should look within and address the reasons he is made uncomfortable by the use of women's breasts in accordance with their evolutionary design. However, it simply does not serve the public good to impose sanctions (either social or legal) on women and children for breastfeeding in public places. The health benefits conferred on children and their mothers are too important to risk any policy measures that would encourage artificial feeding.

[velcromom]

This has gotta go into my Hall of Shame file, I have rarely seen such a pathological fear of a feeding baby in my life. Disability, indeed. How embarrassing for him to have revealed such a profound warp in his psyche - in public!!

I'd like to send him this page http://www.netterimages.com/image/10772.htm just so he knows what a mom who gets engorged when she skips a feeding by giving a bottle is risking - and all in the name of preserving the integrity of his "disability".

[Romana]

MaryTheres - It's funny, you pointed out a lot of the things I wanted to say but didn't because I was taking a "scientific/analytical" tack. I think your email and mine will dovetail perfectly and fill in the gaps I left out, but was thinking about. I wanted to drive home the "logical/rational" errors he made because I thought approaching him in that manner would be effective. But I also regretted that I couldn't put *everything* in there.

I won't post my email; I'm just not comfortable doing that. But thank you for posting yours.

Earthgirl, I loved your email, but especially the last paragraph.

Julia
dd 1

[MaryTheres]

Romana

That's why it's good that we get involved in contacting these type of people - we all have something different and important to bring to the table!

[Stinkerbell]

definitely!! And it is equally important to let the publisher know how you feel, too. And, in my case, the advertisers (thank you for that suggestion!) since I am local.

[Guenevere33]

Fire with Fire

Hey Ladies,
Sorry if this isn't as understandable as it should be, I'm at work and multi-tasking while dodging the boss! lol!
I may be WAY off on this and I'm not saying we shouldn't write to the author and the paper but as much as I am ALL for a Mother's right to feed wherever she needs to unharassed, I am equally for an individual's right to write his opinion on it NIP. I probably wouldn't have much faith in any publication if they only published things that they felt were agreeable so I'm not sure writing to the paper will help either because it is the author's freedom of spech/press. I think a better idea would be to write an intelligent and carefully thought out (his obviously was not) response article and submit it for publication. It's like fighting fire with fire! Am I nuts? Let me know what you think.

[Equuskia]

Originally Posted by Guenevere33

Hey Ladies,
Sorry if this isn't as understandable as it should be, I'm at work and multi-tasking while dodging the boss! lol!
I may be WAY off on this and I'm not saying we shouldn't write to the author and the paper but as much as I am ALL for a Mother's right to feed wherever she needs to unharassed, I am equally for an individual's right to write his opinion on it NIP. I probably wouldn't have much faith in any publication if they only published things that they felt were agreeable so I'm not sure writing to the paper will help either because it is the author's freedom of spech/press. I think a better idea would be to write an intelligent and carefully thought out (his obviously was not) response article and submit it for publication. It's like fighting fire with fire! Am I nuts? Let me know what you think.

A newspaper is free to reject rubbish articles like this. While freedom of the press does exist, there also exists a thing called ethics in journalism. If this poor excuse for a UA violation wishes to spread his rubbish, he is free to buy a press and publish all the crap he wants. A newspaper is not obligated to publish everything that is submitted to them, especially when they contain fallacies, slander, and defamation of character. From the Society of Professional Journalists, the code of ethics:
http://www.spj.org/ethicscode.asp

While journalists are encouraged to support the open exchange of views, they are also obligated to minimize harm, and treat news subjects as human beings worthy of respect:

— Show compassion for those who may be affected adversely by news coverage. Use special sensitivity when dealing with children and inexperienced sources or subjects.

While again, this "man" is not a journalist, the newspaper I assume does have journalists on its staff. They are supposed to uphold these ethics, and thus, seeing how this article goes in violation of many of the passages found in the Code of Ethics, it should not have been published. Again, he is free to buy a press, a printer or webspace to post and print whatever his little stony heart desires.

[RachelGS]

My letter to the publisher was pretty basic: "You're not bound, you know, to publish such moronic, offensive, inaccurate filth just because someone writes it. Count me among your lost customers."

[letniaLynne]

Speechless!!!! I could not even read the whole article I was getting nauseous!

[lissabob]

Oh man that was NAUSEATING to read... must calm stomach before trying to reply... :

[jessjgh1]

Need opinions...

Should I leave the last sentence stand (pick on someone your own size?) or end w/o that jab... Oh, and I had a bit in to temper it around bottle feeding that I'm working on putting back, I accidently deleted it at one point


Jessica


I was very disappointed to read the article you wrote regarding the breastfeeding incident at iParty.

My son is very excited to be a big brother soon and understands that breastfeeding is how babies eat. My growing belly and preparatory talk about babies give us more opportunities to talk about the subject but it his innocence and enthusiasm that has him happily chattering away at the site of any baby or toddler. He frequently comments that babies cry and sleep a lot and that babies need ‘nursey’, his word for breastfeeding.

He’s only three so I’m happy that he understands this issue so well. It really is just that simple

Breastfeeding is the biological norm.

Your opinion and discomfort may be the result of culture but breastfeeding is not a cultural choice. It is a mother’s responsibility to react to her child’s need and breastfeeding is simply not only the best and easiest choice, but the way nature intended. If this makes you uncomfortable it is your responsibility to look away or get over your issue.

A mother should be free to respond to her child naturally- not forced to sit and pump, find a bathroom, or figure out what constitutes 'being discreet' in today's society.

Pick on someone your own size, and please for those mother’s that choose to breastfeed, let our children eat as nature intended.


Jessica

[theelfqueen]

Originally Posted by Momma2SoSweet

What a !!! I have no coherent thoughts, as I am fuming!

"And next time you go shopping with your infant in your arms, try bringing along a baby bottle."

Just had to say, my daughter refused a bottle from day one. No matter how many times we tried to get her to take one 'just in case' she never would. Seven months later, she still won't.

Stupid, ignorant %$#!@ ....

My older two children willingly took bottles when we were separated, my youngest would NOT. Whether my older two would have taken a bottle from ME? that's questionable at best.

I hate that people assume that "bring a bottle" is a solution. If I bring a bottle, shall I also bring a pump and pump in the middle of the aisle instead? Cause let me clarify that if breastfeeding public makes 'em uncomfortable -- pumping will leave their heads spinning.

[Socks!]

Romana, I hope it's ok, that I used your post for my email.
Here's what I wrote:

Thank you for the great laugh I had reading Charles Winokoor's article Making Milk public controversy.

I haven't laughed like this in a long time.
To me it's just hilarious how he assumes that:

• Breastfeeding in public is the same as urinating or defecating in public;
  
  
• Breastfeeding in a public restroom is a reasonable expectation;
  
  
• A two-month-old can wait to eat until mom's got out to the car/restroom/wherever;
  
  
• A breastfeeding woman can convince her baby to take a bottle;
  
  
• A breasfteeding woman can magically warm cold breastmilk or formula with her heat vision so it will be acceptable to her infant.

Very funny indeed, as this will settle any questions I had regarding continuing to read your paper - I won't.


signed

[annettemarie]

I've removed quite a few posts for namecalling, which, no matter how deserved, is still against the User Agreement:

Do not post in a disrespectful, defamatory, adversarial, baiting, harassing, offensive, insultingly sarcastic or otherwise improper manner, toward a member or other individual, including casting of suspicion upon a person, invasion of privacy, humiliation, demeaning criticism, name-calling, personal attack, or in any way which violates the law.

I'll try my best to PM for edits tonight.