local article...aarrrrgh! - Page 5

[hunnybumm]

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan

I'm betting that everyone else got one like that too.

Actually, I got pretty much the same response, but personalized. I called his article ignorant and he said he was sorry I thought his article was "ignorant", but yadda yadda about the employee doing what he felt was right.

[pfamilygal]

I got a similar response.

This is what I wrote back:

You may need to reread your article. You still suggested that the proper place for babies to eat was in the ladies room. That is sick and unsanitary. What if I am offended by your chewing gum in public? Should I have the right to demand that you do it in the bathroom?

A woman feeding her child should be able to do so wherever the child and mother are legally allowed to be. As long as society suggests, as you did in your article, that the act of breastfeeding is somehow shameful and should be hidden (you ended your article by suggesting that women bring bottles when out in public - as if feeding your child a substandard food substance in a plastic container is the preferrable act) we will continue to have the abyssmally low breastfeeding rates that we have now.

Yes, businesses can set standards for their own employees. But mothers have the right to say "this is wrong!" and stand up for their rights by spreading the word that a business discriminates against breastfeeding mothers. (And yes, it is discrimination - the act of feeding the child is not the issue. A mother feeding her child formula in a bottle would never be told that it is necessary to feed the child standing next to a toilet in some nasty ladies room, would she? So the business is discriminating against the mother because of the source of her baby's nutrition.)

[ferrous]

i emailed him as well ..

- - - - -

At the beginning and the end of your article it states that you're a
business writer. That's odd, because I could have sworn you were
trying to be funny. Perhaps you should add 'comedian' to your title as
well?

I laughed and laughed! Yes, I did. Not with you, though, at you.

Actually, I shouldn't laugh, because it's not nice to laugh at someone
who seems to have issues with what are, for most of us, normal
day-to-day occurances. Perhaps you should be seeing a therapist about
these problems of yours?

As for Melissa Tracy and your wish for her to take her child to the
bathroom to feed him, perhaps you'd like to go and eat your lunch in
the toilet next time you're hungry? I imagine it's not then nicest
place to eat. Public bathrooms usually smell pretty bad. In fact, they
probably smell about as bad at that pet supplies aisle in the
supermarket of your dream.

Just as well that was only a dream. It's a shame that it's not a dream
that others would let a mother feed her child whever she chooses,
because expecting someone to sit in a stinking bathroom to nourish
their child is about as rude as allowing one's pets to void themselves
in the aisle of a supermarket.

I hope your delicate sensibilites weren't offended too much by this
awful woman imposing her "version of an enlightened society" upon you.
You really should get therapy, because if you don't rush off
immeditely to talk to a professional about all this angst you've been
put through, it might just ruin your life forever.


My absolute sincerest regards to you,

Coralie

[nichole]

Originally Posted by pfamilygal

I got a similar response.

This is what I wrote back:

You may need to reread your article. You still suggested that the proper place for babies to eat was in the ladies room. That is sick and unsanitary. What if I am offended by your chewing gum in public? Should I have the right to demand that you do it in the bathroom?

A woman feeding her child should be able to do so wherever the child and mother are legally allowed to be. As long as society suggests, as you did in your article, that the act of breastfeeding is somehow shameful and should be hidden (you ended your article by suggesting that women bring bottles when out in public - as if feeding your child a substandard food substance in a plastic container is the preferrable act) we will continue to have the abyssmally low breastfeeding rates that we have now.

Yes, businesses can set standards for their own employees. But mothers have the right to say "this is wrong!" and stand up for their rights by spreading the word that a business discriminates against breastfeeding mothers. (And yes, it is discrimination - the act of feeding the child is not the issue. A mother feeding her child formula in a bottle would never be told that it is necessary to feed the child standing next to a toilet in some nasty ladies room, would she? So the business is discriminating against the mother because of the source of her baby's nutrition.)

[nichole]

Originally Posted by ferrous

i emailed him as well ..

- - - - -

Perhaps you should add 'comedian' to your title as
well? ...

I laughed and laughed! Yes, I did. Not with you, though, at you.
...

I hope your delicate sensibilites weren't offended too much by this
awful woman imposing her "version of an enlightened society" upon you.
You really should get therapy, because if you don't rush off
immeditely to talk to a professional about all this angst you've been
put through, it might just ruin your life forever.



Coralie

[Stinkerbell]

you guys rock

[sapphire_chan]

I wrote back to the standard response as well.

Thank you for your response. I suspect you have rather sensibly generated the same response to be given to everyone who critiques your article. Which is just fine, assuming you actually mean it.

To that end, I suggest you write a correcting article that promotes education over false assumptions. While there are many people who view breastfeeding and defecation as exactly the same thing, it is your job as a responsible journalist to concentrate on the truth rather than pandering to the masses.

The iParty store manager should have done whatever he would have done as a professional business person encountering a customer who needed to feed a baby. If he was more comfortable with bottlefeeding, he could have thought of what he would have done if the mother in question was using a bottle. Perhaps offered to find her a chair?

If you are truly sympathetic to the plight of those ignorant of the law and basic logic, then I suggest you write an article which teaches them how to appropriately respond when encountering a baby who needs to eat.

http://www.kellymom.com/about/index.html

Is an excellent place to start doing the research.

[Zwillingsmama]

Originally Posted by earthgirl

This is what he wrote me: I don't believe women who breast-feed in public are immature. But I do think the woman in this case put the iParty store manager in a very unfair position; he was only trying to do what he thought was the right thing. I do appreciate you taking the time to email.

Well he did the WRONG thing. It's as simple as that.
The writer is clearly a very uneducated person!

I also thought it's common sense that you fully inform yourself about a topic before you write about it???

What an idiot.

[MaryTheres]

hmmmm

I did not get a response and I sent my letter via email to both him and the publisher (twice, just to make sure )

[Romana]

I also got a similar response. He said that he thought it should be up to individual businesses to set a policy on breastfeeding in their stores. He also said he felt sorry for iParty and the manager in question, and defended his position on BF (claiming to be a supporter).

I responded that it should be the purview of the legislature, not individual businesses, to set breastfeeding norms. I stated that if left to the determination of individual businesses, nursing mothers and infants would be subject to the ignorance, apathy, and personal bias of store managers and corporate officers.

I'm glad I wrote the original letter; hopefully next time he won't be blathering on about bottles and bathrooms.

Julia
dd 1

[bellymama]

heres the letter i wrote him:
dear sir,
i was shown a copy of your article regarding the iparty public breastfeeding incident, and i was appalled. your obvious lack of education regarding the protection of the woman's right ti breastfeed her child in public, as well as your ignorance toward the benefits of breastfeeding ON DEMAND (which actually provide our society with more independent, LESS spoiled children...do your research) makes me wonder why you even wrote this article. no one is interested in what you personally feel about a woman using her breasts as God intended, to feed her child. perhaps you, and others like you, who are not "used to" seeing a woman "suckling" her child in public, should take a looooong look at yourself and ask why it bothers you? does it turn you on? does it somehow make you feel "funny" inside? if not, why do you care? I highly doubt that the woman in question was at Iparty planning a political move towards breastfeeding rights...being that most of us (in our "enlightenment") who breastfeed do it because it is a natural, NORMAL and doctor reccommended way to feed our child. we don't sit around thinking of how to make you feel uncomfortable...we just want to feed our children. here's some advice for you and others like you: DON'T LOOK!
Your use of the Islamic people who wanted to stand on the plane for their prayers does not prove your point that people are trying to get publicity, it in fact shows your absolute ignorance and lack of even WANTING to understand someone whose views and beliefs are different then yours.
Your description of how children today have a sense of entitlement (is that a bad thing?) and a sense of being better than others is actually a fair description of the way your article depicts the kind of person YOU are...question...were you breastfed?
Finally, closing your article with the statement that women with "babies in arms" should bring bottle is just plain stupid, and something only a man who has never has and never will be a mother, would say...why on earth would i bring a bottle when nature has provided me with the ultimate bottle...my breasts,which may i remind you one last time before i end this letter, where not put on this earth to titilate or offend puritan perverts like you, they were put here to feed my child...they are MAMMARY GLANDS...because i am a MAMMAL....
do you see cows, deers, foxes, wolves, or any other animal busting out their bottle to feed their child from a substandard and toxic substitute?
finally...you are an idiot.
thank you for your time

[mom2snugbugs]

Originally Posted by bellymama

finally...you are an idiot.
thank you for your time

I called him an a$$.

hoping i didn't just make a ua violation.

[littlesaramax]

I am sort of new to the whole lactivism movement, so bear with me here. My understanding from the article, the way the writer phrased it, is that the mother sat down on the floor and began nursing . . . so my question is . . .she literally SAT on the floor of a party store???? If that is the case, shouldn't she have attempted to find somewhere, anywhere, other than a possibly dirty party store floor to nurse?? I have never seen a nursing mother just plop down on the floor somewhere and start nursing. Do you think that is an accurate statement as the writer wrote it? If it is accurate, I am sorry, but I am on the side of the store manager here . . . it is just not appropriate to plop down on the floor of a business and start nursing. Most party stores, at least where I come from, are relatively small and while I agree, she has a right to feed her child on demand, couldn't she have taken all of 60 seconds to walk to the door of the store and go to her car? Maybe there was a bench out front? Somewhere??? I just couldn't fathom plopping myself down in the middle of a store to feed my child whether it was breastfeeding, bottle feeding or feeding a toddler a snack of crackers. I myself would not just sit on the floor of ANY store to eat anything . . . it is just common sense, isn't it?

Of course, I agree, the tone of his article is over the top idiocy, but I think his point is . . . couldn't there be a better place for this mother to have nursed? Is a party store really responsible for providing a place for nursing mothers to breastfeed?

[Organicavocado]

Ugh the tone of that article was ATROCIOUS! Bring a bottle? Are you serious? Ughhhhhhh!

She shouldn't have had to go anywhere, no. If the floor appeared pretty clean, it wouldnt be an issue.. I dont think it would be as bad as say, nursing in a bathroom where the handles, doors, walls, everything were possibly covered in germs. Dirt doesn't bother me, personally.. its the potential of people wiping sloppily and having urine and feces traces everywhere. I've seen a nursing mama sit down on the floor, set herself up with a book, and nurse a babe in a quiet corner of a Target. She looked up when I walked by to make sure I didnt trample her, LOL, gave her a smile to let her know she was alright and kept going. Nobody has the right to say "Hey, you can't breastfeed here.".. not even the manager.

And, FWIW, I haven't tried it yet obviously but nursing in a car looks kind of awkward and hard to me when my friend has to do it. If I had a cart full of party supplies I wouldnt want to run out to the car, feed, then come back and have to resupply my cart (causing some poor employee much grief I assure you LOL) when you can just have a seat, breastfeed and take a break, and then resume what you're doing. It shouldn't have to be such a huge deal. It shouldnt be a deal at all, really..

[Romana]

Originally Posted by littlesaramax

I am sort of new to the whole lactivism movement, so bear with me here. My understanding from the article, the way the writer phrased it, is that the mother sat down on the floor and began nursing . . . so my question is . . .she literally SAT on the floor of a party store???? If that is the case, shouldn't she have attempted to find somewhere, anywhere, other than a possibly dirty party store floor to nurse?? I have never seen a nursing mother just plop down on the floor somewhere and start nursing. Do you think that is an accurate statement as the writer wrote it? If it is accurate, I am sorry, but I am on the side of the store manager here . . . it is just not appropriate to plop down on the floor of a business and start nursing. Most party stores, at least where I come from, are relatively small and while I agree, she has a right to feed her child on demand, couldn't she have taken all of 60 seconds to walk to the door of the store and go to her car? Maybe there was a bench out front? Somewhere??? I just couldn't fathom plopping myself down in the middle of a store to feed my child whether it was breastfeeding, bottle feeding or feeding a toddler a snack of crackers. I myself would not just sit on the floor of ANY store to eat anything . . . it is just common sense, isn't it?

Of course, I agree, the tone of his article is over the top idiocy, but I think his point is . . . couldn't there be a better place for this mother to have nursed? Is a party store really responsible for providing a place for nursing mothers to breastfeed?

First off, TO MDC, as I see this is your first post.

Now, please allow me to disagree. This is part of my letter to the author of the article:

(1) Two-month-old babies often nurse once every one to two hours. No mother should be expected to be a shut-in, especially since this contributes to post partum depression. A trip to the mall could very reasonably, door-to-door, take 3 or more hours. Most two month old babies would require 1-2 feedings during this time.

(2) For a newborn, eating when hungry is essential. For a mother and her newborn, it is akin to an emergency. The baby screams as if it will die (typically, a newborn has not yet learned to differentiate between "I'm hungry" and "I'm dying" - there's just hysterical screaming for all needs). When a mother carries a screaming baby around a store (let's pretend this mother was going to walk to an area set aside for nursing mothers), she receives angry stares and rude comments. This mother would certainly have experienced some level of those remarks or looks if she walked her baby to another area, or out to the car, to nurse. Furthermore, once the mother finally reaches this "acceptable destination," her hysterical baby would find it difficult to nurse. Newborns are difficult to soothe and easily become hysterical if their needs are not met quickly. A hysterical, crying newborn could refuse to nurse (thus exacerbating its crying and discomfort), or its nose and nasal passages could be impeded by mucus from crying and thus unable to nurse or to nurse properly. I'm sure you wouldn't advocate that babies suffer just so you never see a mother nursing an infant in a public place.

No, the iParty store is not responsible for providing a "place" for mothers to nurse. Mothers can nurse standing up, sitting, with a baby in a sling, etc. Some mothers feel more comfortable nursing in private, but many simply feel the needs of the child predominate over mom's need for privacy or strangers' needs to never see a breastfeeding woman and her child.

I see no reason why someone couldn't sit on the grass and nurse, or sit in an aisle and nurse. I do not see the carpeted floor of a store in a mall as "dirty" in the same way I see nursing while sitting on a toilet stall as dirty. Especially when you know exactly what happens to all the filth in the toilet when you flush (hint: lots of it ends up in the air). A bathroom stall is unsanitary and no one should be expected to eat in such a place; a store in a mall, however, does not seem particularly dangerous or unsantiary to me. Obviously, I wouldn't rub my boob on the floor and then put it in my dd's mouth, but I don't see how sitting on the floor while BF is significantly more unsantiary than sitting on a public bench.

Julia
dd 1

[Momma2SoSweet]

Originally Posted by bellymama

finally...you are an idiot.
thank you for your time

[purplepaisleymama]

I have breastfed all 5 of my children everywhere, I have nursed on the floor of stores, if there was no other place to sit and I was too tired to carry the chld around while nursing. I have nursed while sitting on the ground outside and I would say that the ground is definately dirtier than the floor in the iparty store in South Weymouth. I have breastfed in restaurants, churches, buses, trains, cars, and everywhere else that I have been in the last 9 years.
Yes, perhaps they are dirtier than my own house but my kids have never had any problems from breastfeeding in public places, I would like to believe that this is because my body recognizes the ambient germs and produces the protection needed.
I would consider the idea of waiting to feed an obviously hungry baby until after I had gotten out to my car more than I can handle, my little ones would be hysterical in about one minute and I would be left with a very upset baby that would rather continue to scream than calm down and nurse. When I am in a store and there is a little baby screaming all I would like to see is that baby being taken care of. Whether it be breastfed or given a bottle, the baby is hungry and too little to know that the food is coming, this is akin to starving.
I was shopping the other day with my toddler, who as luck would have it breath-holds, we were in the store for 20 minutes. That was how long it took for him to decide that he wanted something that he could not have and collapse into a faint. He came around a few seconds later and began screaming so loud that two people came over to ask if I needed help, I took him out of the store right away and left my cart in the aisle. I put him in the car and drove the 3 minutes home and my husband went back to the store to get the groceries. By the time he got there, 7 minutes later the cart was gone. That was the first time in 9 years that I have had to leave a store, I have always nursed the child and they calmed down..... too bad he didn't want to nurse then!!!!
laura

[Socks!]

I just got an email from the The Patriot Ledger thanking me for my letter and saying that they are planning to publish it.

It doesn't have a phone number or anything no regards to which letter...

Did anybody else happen to get this? I think this is the only article that I sent an email using that particular email address of mine.

Weird.

WWYD?

[Beckula]

I just caught this thread and this is the letter I sent him:

Dear sir,
referring to your article written on 4/27/07:

Wow, do you dislike her because she is educated or are you somehow truly shocked because you have never seen a breast before? In most of the United states of America Women are perfectly within their rights to breastfeed anywhere they have the right to be and assuming Mother's aren't being segregated (which is illegal) they have the right to be and nurse a baby in a party store. Imagine that someone had placed the same demands on you that you have stated in this article, it would be like going to a restaurant and being told that "we don't serve your kind in the dining room so you must consume your food on the toilet." Yeah right you would be so upset you would complain to the management JUST LIKE SHE DID. Oh and by the way not every baby eats from a bottle and even if they can what a useless waste of money and time to bring one when the baby's food comes right out of the Mother's chest. I find it very sad that you have such an immature view of parenting and I suggest that you don you big boy pants and get over it because in the end the LAW that protects nursing Mothers isn't going to be changed by you.

Sincerely,
Rebecca Klein

what a jerk.

[jessjgh1]

The Patriot Ledger published a different letter, much more positive around the iParty incident.

OUR VIEW: Awareness is the mother’s milk
here's a link to it: http://ledger.southofboston.com/arti...ion/opin01.txt

HTH you figure out what letter you wrote.

Jessica