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No cell phones at the party, please - Page 2

post #21 of 71
The middle school in my community has dealt with several "incidents" involving improper use of cell phones slumber parties. Camera and video phones seem to cause more problems, but ordinary ones have led to problems too. I would completely support a parent asking that cell phones be left home or handed over to the host parent during an event.

I wouldn't let my child sleep over at the house of someone I didn't know well anyway.
post #22 of 71
Quote:
Originally Posted by ManitobaMom View Post
Original poster: I completely agree with your sentiments that requesting no cell phones brought to a sleep-over at your house is exactly the same as asking kids to refrain from bringing other electronic gadgets with them.
I don't. A cell phone is a tool an Xbox is a game console that attaches to your TV.



Quote:
Originally Posted by ManitobaMom View Post
One poster mentioned a daughter crying in a bathroom after being teased. Yes, mean and sad. Nope, wouldn't WANT it to be happening to my daughter. YEP: situations like this are a normal part of life/humanity/growing up.
Are you saying I should have LEFT her in this situation all night because "thats life?" I realize "thats life," and there is nothing I could have done to prevent it, but it doesn't mean I have to LEAVE her in that situation for another 6 hours!

Quote:
Originally Posted by ManitobaMom View Post
A cell phone is not a silver bullet and I'm really surprised by how many parents responded that a phone is an essential SAFETY item for her/his child to leave the house with. Given the proliferation of cell phones these days, it's extremely likely that if your child were in trouble somewhere, a phone (ie. someone else's) would be immediately handy. But I think it's even more likely that if something truly awful was happening (ie. sexual/physical abuse, kidnapping, etc) that the presence of a cell phone would be of little benefit.
I disagree, since cell phones have built in GPS units and can be tracked. Yes it might be ditched, but it might not and even if it is ditched and found by police it might lead a clue to finding your child.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ManitobaMom View Post
And on another tangent: Kids aren't exactly the most conscientious group I've ever met. They lose/forget/misplace things CONSTANTLY. If a cell phone is essential to a kid's personal safety, I think we're hanging by a fraying thread.
My daughter has never lost her phone. My DH on the other hand has lost several, misplaces/forgets his all the time, and has even had one run over. The phone is safer with dd!
post #23 of 71
Wow. I am really surprised at the number of moms that think a cell phone at a sleepover is essential. When my child attends a sleepover I always know the parents well enough to call my child on their house phone. I prefer to do that because it gives the other parent a chance to give me any needed information.
post #24 of 71
Quote:
Originally Posted by sunnysideup View Post
Wow. I am really surprised at the number of moms that think a cell phone at a sleepover is essential. When my child attends a sleepover I always know the parents well enough to call my child on their house phone. I prefer to do that because it gives the other parent a chance to give me any needed information.
I have stated before, many of my daughter's friends don't have home phones. We have Verison here which ripes you off big time so many people have cell phones. I don't have the number of the parents cell phones. Things are just different here. DD has one friend who has stayed the night SEVERAL times. I didn't meet her mom for two years!
post #25 of 71
Wow, I am surprised you wouldn't get the number of the parent's cell phone. What if you couldn't get your daughter/son to answer their cell phone? Who would you call then? I always knew the parents of my child's friends who had sleepovers and always had the phone number and address. They couldn't stay over without me having that info and meeting the parents.
post #26 of 71
Quote:
Originally Posted by primjillie View Post
Wow, I am surprised you wouldn't get the number of the parent's cell phone. What if you couldn't get your daughter/son to answer their cell phone? Who would you call then? I always knew the parents of my child's friends who had sleepovers and always had the phone number and address. They couldn't stay over without me having that info and meeting the parents.
I know the address and I would have to go over there I guess. The mom's just don't give out their "cell phone" number because they don't want the kids calling it. My DD doesn't stay the night over at that house any more anyway. In my opinion that mom doesn't supervise the kids enough. (for instance, letting them go to a carnival by themselves at 9pm when they were 11/12. : ) The other mom like that, my DD has never stayed at their house. Their dd always stayed here. These mom's however are #1 reason we bought DD her cell phone in the first place.
post #27 of 71
I don't think a cell phone is essential. But what exactly is the problem with the girl having a phone at the slumber party?

And what is "improper use of cell phones?"

OP, what is it exactly you are objecting to?
post #28 of 71
I don't think its essential. I just think its over stepping a boundary to forbid guests to carry one.
post #29 of 71
Quote:
Originally Posted by UnschoolnMa View Post
That just wouldn't work for me and my kids at all. For the most part if they can't bring the phone they'd probably just pass on the event altogether.

Why is the phone useage bothering you?
It would bother me too. It's rude to hang out on the phone when you are a guest in someone's home, and it's even more rude for the host to do it.
post #30 of 71
Quote:
Originally Posted by KaraBoo View Post
I don't think a cell phone is essential. But what exactly is the problem with the girl having a phone at the slumber party?

And what is "improper use of cell phones?"

OP, what is it exactly you are objecting to?
You go to a slumber party to visit with your friends, not talk on the phone to other people...it's bad manners.
post #31 of 71
I ask/tell them phones are for emergencies only at your house and please put them away and only answer if their gaurdian calls. Honestly, if they were too rude to comply they wouldn't be invited back. It feels awful to be a third wheel at your own house while your guest talks on the phone to someone instead of talking to you.
post #32 of 71
Quote:
Originally Posted by moondiapers View Post
You go to a slumber party to visit with your friends, not talk on the phone to other people...it's bad manners.




post #33 of 71
I have seen this happen at parties, it can cause some division and can be annoying to some. It's a bit like visiting someone and they can't be bothered to avert their eyes from the tv. There is usually some huge drama unfolds via cellphone. Everywhere you go people are on their cell phones all the time, a lot of people really do think they are cool just to be holding em.
post #34 of 71
Quote:
Originally Posted by moondiapers View Post
You go to a slumber party to visit with your friends, not talk on the phone to other people...it's bad manners.
You never called boys or made prank calls at a slumber party?

Quote:
Originally Posted by forthebest View Post
I have seen this happen at parties, it can cause some division and can be annoying to some. It's a bit like visiting someone and they can't be bothered to avert their eyes from the tv. There is usually some huge drama unfolds via cellphone. Everywhere you go people are on their cell phones all the time, a lot of people really do think they are cool just to be holding em.
People are on the phone every where you go these days due to business a majority of the time. I DO find this annoying as we can't even go out to dinner as a family because "work" is calling. It's not a matter of being cool, it is a matter of being able to conduct business and having money to support your family.

I still don't see the difference between the girls making these calls on the cell phone vrs. a land line.
post #35 of 71
Quote:
Originally Posted by aniT View Post
You never called boys or made prank calls at a slumber party?



People are on the phone every where you go these days due to business a majority of the time. I DO find this annoying as we can't even go out to dinner as a family because "work" is calling. It's not a matter of being cool, it is a matter of being able to conduct business and having money to support your family.

I still don't see the difference between the girls making these calls on the cell phone vrs. a land line.

I think a lot of people are on their cell phones because it's very convenient, which is fine cos it helps people keep in touch. Lots of people still use them for the sake of using them imo, a kind of cell phone cameraderie, there are lots of people who subscribe to the must have the latest cell phone/ jeans/or whatever so they are definitely cool to some, yes business will deffo come into it, but as more people are communicating via the technology available they are just on phones more often. Being interrupted when you attempt to have family time, like dinner, kinda says it for me cos it's so easy for someone to get a hold of someone else and it's not always very important that they do. I think that if your dc had a sleepover or party and cell phones were not present I don't think there would be a queue for the landline. I also think there can be an exclusion/inclusion issue with them at times in the context of girls slumber parties.
post #36 of 71
Quote:
Originally Posted by aniT View Post
You never called boys or made prank calls at a slumber party?
No I never used the phone as a toy. It was always considered a tool in our home. Aren't prank calls illegal?


Quote:
Originally Posted by aniT View Post
People are on the phone every where you go these days due to business a majority of the time. I DO find this annoying as we can't even go out to dinner as a family because "work" is calling. It's not a matter of being cool, it is a matter of being able to conduct business and having money to support your family.

I still don't see the difference between the girls making these calls on the cell phone vrs. a land line.
It's one thing if they are alltogether on the phone....using speakerphone or something to talk to a friend that couldn't make it to the party. But my experience has been that they use the phone to talk to someone instead of interacting with their hostess, which is VERY rude.
post #37 of 71
I still feel confused about why the OP couldn't just step in and ask the kids to put the phones away for a bit and choose a different activity. If something is rude or bothersome, is okay to use your words by expressing how you feel and asking for a change. Its not always necessary to set a "policy" when you are dealing with a small group of kids for a special activity.
post #38 of 71
Quote:
Originally Posted by pigpokey View Post
I guess I'm unpopular, because I would say on the invite that the girl can either leave the cell phone at home or I will confiscate it at the door with my home phone number on the invitation. The parents can call my house if they want to reach a child, and the child can use my phone. Honestly, since when did our daughters become such sensitive flowers that they can't ask an adult to use the phone? We had sleepovers in the seventies and eighties, believe it or not, without cell phones. I left one when I was 16 -- it was a high school sorority hazing and I got bored/uncomfortable -- and I used the phone to call my parents and I did not die. I'm sure the cell phones can cause more drama and hurt feelings than they help. I would also say that you can't use the house phone after 9pm. I am trying to picture a parent from my childhood knowingly allowing a child of 12 to call friends after 9pm ... nope, I can't see it.
This is my position exactly.
post #39 of 71
Quote:
Originally Posted by moondiapers View Post
No I never used the phone as a toy. It was always considered a tool in our home. Aren't prank calls illegal?
So is TPing and egging peoples homes. Technically so is cussing on the phone.

post #40 of 71
Sorry for not clarifying. The following activities would qualify as improper use of cell phones and are all things I have heard of middle school aged children doing:

- taking someone else's phone and using it to send an obscene or insulting text message to someone you want to offend anonymously.
- taking pictures of yourself or others with a phone and sending them to other people as a means of embarassing the person in the picture or the owner of the phone you are using.
- calling someone not present at an event to make that person feel left out.

I don't use my personal cell phone that much, so I'm not fully aware of the potentials. I'm sure if I asked my students they could offer a much longer list.

I would hope that my dd is friends only with nice kids who would never intentionally do anything mean. I can't guarantee that they will think through their actions rationally in the middle of the night though.
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