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Mamas W/ Toddlers & A Newborn - May

post #1 of 47
Thread Starter 
how is everyone doing?

this last week has been a trial. i think lucien has an ear/sinus infection and has been, what i can only politely say, a handful. marcus is such a calm, easy baby, on the other hand i feel im neglecting him. i rush through diaper changes instead of talking to him because lucien's having a meltdown. when im not wearing him because i need to have my hands free for lucien, he's in his swing or bouncy seat cause all i want to do is sit on my butt and veg out.

i really thought we would try for 3 but lately im seriously reconsidering if i want to do this again. i feel myself regressing down to lucien's level. im cranky, tantrum-y. im ready to be an adult again.
post #2 of 47
no newborn yet but subbing again, I read with interest!
post #3 of 47
I would have to say I can relate. My dd #1 is not what I would say a problem child but she's a Mama's girl thru and thru and she wants my attention and when I am giving it to her, I feel like I am neglecting dd#2 and vice versa. And I am tired all the time it's alot of work!! But I guess it can only get better and I want a third, but I am going to wait a while. I want myself body included back first!!!
post #4 of 47
Thread Starter 
now that the ear infection is gone, things have been infinitely better.

also, i re-checked out happiest toddler on the block and thank goddess i did. i checked it out when lucien was 18ish months and forgot to put most of the things to use. but listening to it (got it on tape 'cause getting time to sit and read rarely happens) was so reassuring. i dont have a crazy horrible monster. i have a perfectly normal, spirited toddler. despite what my ILs might think, im doing nothing wrong. in fact, i was probably doing more "wrong" trying to restrain and suppress his spirt than by letting him be a little noisey, nosey and physical. he's happier, and im happier, too.

it's warming up and we've been in the pool everyday for the last week which has helped give him something to do. he can jump and splash and wriggle all about as much as he likes. and we've been so busy, he's forgotten tv for the most part.

also, ive realised i need to respect his need for sleep. nap time needs to start at 11:30/noon, not 1pm. dinner needs to be on the table between 5 and 5:30 and sleep is right after. he needs to be in bed by 7. he's got the tiniest window of truely sleepy and his second wind. i dont care if he's covered in dog poop, if taking a bath screws up bedtime, it's not worth it. it may still take me an hour to get him to sleep from the time we go in and the time i go out, but it's nice to have him asleep by 8 instead of 10 or later!
post #5 of 47
: I have 2 boys, one almost 23mo and the other 7wks. Sometimes this smiley is so right for me: :
post #6 of 47
subbing
post #7 of 47
We have good days, and not so good days, but mostly good...really. Dd1 is definately a mama's girl, but she also LOVES her brother like nothing else, so she has fun with him and doesn't usually mind when I am paying attention to him....until of course she all of a sudden does.: I get lots of playing done, lots of diaper changing done, and hardly anything else...poor house.
post #8 of 47
also just subbing because I'll be joining you shortly!
post #9 of 47
subbing.

Avena- how is it going? It sounded like it was getting easier...please say that it is!
post #10 of 47
Subbing, I will be back later to read and post. Hope everyone is doing well.
post #11 of 47
My newborn is almost 6 months already, yikes! DS just turned 2. Things are better now...those first three months, wish I could say it was a blur, but I remember every detail.
post #12 of 47
subbing :
post #13 of 47
Hey - joining you guys. I have a 32 month DD and 7 week DS. It's especially tough b/c DH commutes and is gone M-F, so I'm all alone for the week. (we're trying to re-arrange that, with the kids and I joining DH in his commute - I'd rather live crazy as a family than have this separation). DD is very independent, potty trained, and loves her brother, which are all big pluses. The biggest challenge is really my energy level, and DD's nap and bedtimes.

I have definitely found that DD, who has always been as much a mama's girl as a daddy's girl, has become totally her daddy's child since DS's birth. She misses him all week when he's gone (they talk on the phone) - she cries for him when she gets hurt or in trouble with me, she talks about missing him, etc. And on the weekends, they are running buddies. DH goes nowhere without her, and even around the house they are just in each others' pockets. I know part of it is natural - her dad is a lot of fun and takes her to fun places and has the energy to tease her into doing things (unlike me, who ends up raising my voice at least once a day : ), and part of it is a response to him being gone all week. But it's kinda bittersweet for me. We used to be such buddies, and now I'm feeling like the frazzled bad guy. I'm trying to find ways and times to make sure we have special times together. I'm doing a better job of finding my patience everyday - but it's still a struggle.

Anybody else having this issue? I share in the guilt about my poor neglected baby too - I know he's fine, but DD got so much more focused attention in her early weeks.
post #14 of 47

Ah~Ha! Here you all are :)

Hi All~

Welcome new mamas!

Life has been so insanely busy! Some days I feel like WOW! I got so much done and this is easy, other days I'm lucky to anything but change diapers and feel like I can't get anything done

No advice on how to keep the wild toddlers at bay while the babe are sleeping, because that's where my biggest challenge is right now.....Dd thinks it's so fun to scream or try to jump on DS while he tries to sleep.....I'm soooo frustrated! : : : : : :

ADVICE PLEASE~

Whew! I also feel like I HAVE NO time ALONE, not even to pee esp. w/ a 2 yr old and DS is now 8 weeks! Anyone else?
post #15 of 47
Quote:
Originally Posted by vegaenglit View Post
how is everyone doing?

this last week has been a trial. i think lucien has an ear/sinus infection and has been, what i can only politely say, a handful. marcus is such a calm, easy baby, on the other hand i feel im neglecting him. i rush through diaper changes instead of talking to him because lucien's having a meltdown. when im not wearing him because i need to have my hands free for lucien, he's in his swing or bouncy seat cause all i want to do is sit on my butt and veg out.

i really thought we would try for 3 but lately im seriously reconsidering if i want to do this again. i feel myself regressing down to lucien's level. im cranky, tantrum-y. im ready to be an adult again.

I'M SOOO WITH YOU, THIS IS MY LIFE TOO!
post #16 of 47
Avena, I've been putting Griffin in a separate room to sleep, not in a crib, just on our big queen bed, although I'm going to have to start putting him on a comforter on the floor instead, since he's getting quite mobile now. He's the type to go to sleep, though, if I just lay him down when he's drowsy and lay with him for a couple of minutes. He also just plays when he wakes up and lets out a little squawk (not a cry, just a sound he does) to let us know he's up. He co-sleeps with us at night, but he seems to enjoy sleeping in the room much better than trying to sleep with his toddler sister around. He's always a bit on edge in the same room with her. I was very worried the first time I tried putting him in the room by himself for a nap (we've only been doing it a couple of weeks), but he wasn't stressed by waking up alone at all.

We've also discovered rather recently (this week) that taking long walks together with one of us either carrying DS (the infant) or letting him sleep in the stroller and with DD (the toddler) in the stroller is great. DD has always loved to look around in the stroller on walks (since about 6 months). So, she's totally occupied with nature, and getting us to pick her pretty flowers. Carrying DS in the Snugli or letting him sleep doesn't require much attention, either. So, DH and I actually get exercise and some adult conversation! Inside the house, it's very hard to talk to each other without DD trying to get us to listen to her instead and throwing a tantrum if we don't stop in the middle of our conversation.
post #17 of 47
I'm alone with both kids for the first time right now...well, mostly. I mean, DH works during the day, but now he's out of town for 5 days! And all of a sudden DS decided today that he would figure out how to open and unlock the front door, get out/over the gate, and climb out of his crib!

DD also decided that this would be a great day to not do her normal naps and now her schedule is looking to have her going to bed at 10 or 11pm instead of 8pm...so sad since I don't get to eat or shower until both kids are down for the night when DH isn't home. All this great time with the house to myself I was looking forward to and the kids have gone mutiny on me, LOL.
post #18 of 47

Feeling your pain

Wow do I ever feel your pain, and I'm so glad to know I'm not the only one! I have a 23 month old and a 6 week old and some days I feel like I'm having a total meltdown. DD is dancing on the table tops while DS gets his bum changed, or DS is crying in his swing because DD needs me to help her put on her boots, or take her to the potty. I feel like neither kid is getting enough attention and I'm feeling like I'm not being the mom I want to be. The week DH went back to work I thought I would die of exhaustion, but it is getting better, DS is not so fussy now (crying if not in my arms or CuddlyWrap), so it's a little easier, and now that the weather is better, we can get out more. Crying is not so loud when you're at the playground with lots of other kids.

Thanks for sharing, it's comforting to know I'm not alone!
post #19 of 47
Quote:
Originally Posted by spritemama View Post
Wow do I ever feel your pain, and I'm so glad to know I'm not the only one! I have a 23 month old and a 6 week old and some days I feel like I'm having a total meltdown. DD is dancing on the table tops while DS gets his bum changed, or DS is crying in his swing because DD needs me to help her put on her boots, or take her to the potty. I feel like neither kid is getting enough attention and I'm feeling like I'm not being the mom I want to be. The week DH went back to work I thought I would die of exhaustion, but it is getting better, DS is not so fussy now (crying if not in my arms or CuddlyWrap), so it's a little easier, and now that the weather is better, we can get out more. Crying is not so loud when you're at the playground with lots of other kids.

Thanks for sharing, it's comforting to know I'm not alone!
Love to you mama! I know what you are going through! My DD jus turned 2 and DS is 8 weeks~
I'm actually happy to read your post abt. your DD dancing on the table, as mine does the same

It's soooo hard right now with trying to take care of a new babe & wild toddler......

took me over an hour this am to finally get a chance for me to pee! I was back in fourth caring for DD then DS, then ds needed to be nursed, then DD needed food, Ds spit up, DD pooped and then changed DS again AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!: : : : : : : : : :


I've def. had to let more things slide by that DD does, I have to learn to breathe more and be at peace w/my hectic life! I can actually laugh now when DD is Freaking out, I think WHOA this is my DD!

I'm AMAZED at how much we can really do!
post #20 of 47
Hi ladies...I'm joining you all. DS will be three soon and DD is 4 1/2 months.

The napping thing - we finally put up a gate to the room where DD was sleeping. She doesn't like to sleep in the sling, she prefers to be in a bed and I finally put a gate tothe room where she was. I only had to put it up maybe three times and DS got the hint that he wasn't supposed to be in there. I don't need it now at all - he pretty much leaves her alone if she's sleeping.

I feel like things are getting much easier around here. I can get out and about and do all sorts of things and my house/life doesn't feel like such a disaster. Of course, it is, but it's kid disaster, nothing more.

I'm with whoever said they were rethinking having more...I always wanted a big family, 5 or 6 kids, but now, I'm feeling more and more content with two (and not ever, ever, ever having to make this kind of adjustment again).
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