Dingos - it's May - come tiptoe (or run, walk, or wog) through the tulips with us - Page 3

[Aurora]

Thanks for the warm welcome! I look forward to getting to know everyone.

[doctorjen]

I was going to say also about potty learning - I don't think nighttime dryness always has a lot to do with daytime success. Night wetting runs in our family and my boys both have had a long haul with it - but they were reliably using the potty shortly after age 2.

I say go with any potty interest at any age - but I'm sort of an EC'er at heart, I think, so keep that in mind if you are taking any advice from me! All my kids used the potty a little from a very early age and just transitioned over into full time when they were ready.

Thanks so much for all the supportive words. Today I was talking with a grandma whose grandson has been in so much trouble - drugs, arrested multiple times, putting his young teen sister at incredible risk - and I am reminded that in the grand scheme of things my kids' issues are minimal. Plus, I went to preschool conference this am and heard nothing but praise for my littlest.

The thing with my ds is that he really wants to be at college. He loves it there, loves the independence, loves his friends, and was horrified at the thought of coming home for the next year. He can talk a good game and seems to understand that you must get decent grades to be able to get into grad school or get a job in your field, but he can't seem to make the connection to his behavior. It's really odd. We did tell him though that if his grade point dips below 2, he either has to come up with the funds himself to go back next year (not likely at a private school) or come home and go to community college. I don't like the idea of "threatening" him, but this wasn't said with any threat or malice, just realistically I explained that we can't see spending the money if he's not ready to take it seriously. He has a writing assignment due tomorrow in one of the classes he's getting a D in, and when I talked to him today at 1 pm, he hadn't started it yet, or done the reading yet. : So we'll see. I know in the big picture one bad year is no big deal, but it's a life pattern with him, and I'm wondering when he's going to start caring about something, anything - you know?

Dd, I'm actually less worried about. I think she's just struggling with the normal pre-teen stuff, a lot of peer issues, and has a hard time taking this teacher seriously (as do I.) She was really shocked they booted her off the academic team and pretty upset about it. She was more upset that we password protected the computer and she can't chat with friends anymore. I had her come to my office after school instead of going home alone, and she has been diligently doing homework all afternoon. Just so frustrating to see your bright kids do poorly!

Eksmom - I know what you mean about how it would never have occurred to you to not do the homework. I was the same way. Also, I think you and I are similarly driven to do the right thing and to want folks to like us. That's how I was always the standout student and made it through med school. My kids are nothing like me! And here I am like "What do you mean you don't want to?" : I totally get what you mean about expectations for our kids. I have to remind myself all the time that it's not my job to turn my kids into what I want them to be, just to help them be themselves.

RR - Seriously, any ideas on what to run this week before the half on Sat.?

[Shantimama]

Count me in with too this week - and can you believe it, I lost my Diva cup. How on earth do you do that??? I appreciate it more than ever after this cycle.



doctorjen - I am another one who had some serious struggles after high school - then again, you might not want to hear from me - I am turning 40 this summer and I am just getting my academic act together now : I had an awful lot working against me then - I think some time off would have done me good. I don't know that I will encourage my kids to go to post secndary education right after high school. I won't know until we get there, but I think there is a lot to be said for young people having a year to do some community service work and some growing up before making the personal and financial commitment of university or college. We have friends who made it clear to their children that they would give them some financial assistance for school after they did a year of volunteer or mission type work forst. The kids came back more mature and focussed and with a sense of the world that you just can't get in high school.


Spring cleaning is happening here this week - I moved all of the furniture downstairs the other day and scrubbed the floors. Today I emptied the kitchen cupbaords and scrubbed everything down. I'm not turning into Martha or anything - I discovered moths and was so grossed out that I had to clean and go through everything until I found the source - which was a package of sliced almonds that had been opened but never refrigerated. Yuck.

Aurora - welcome!

babybugmama - nice to see you around!

to everyone else!

[1jooj]

Hmmm...no word from ? Hmmm...

I skipped the TM...and ran OUTSIDE instead! Woo-hoo! Totally challenged my fear of the highway and just did it. Took a little longer than I had planned for the TM...and I ended up doing 5.2 miles, but took 55 minutes. All in all, an excellent run for me.

[Bex80]

Another college slacker here. 3.75 Freshman fall semester, 2.75 Freshman spring semester, the rest were abismal, came up for air during summer school of 2000, continued doing well, then became pg Fall of '01.

I'll finish one day. And it'll be more meaningful and with a truer sense of purpose. I was going initially for my folks. When I go back, I'll be going for myself.

I hesitate to join this thread. I totally suck right now but I have nowhere else to turn. I have been wanting to get back on the diet and exercise wagon for MONTHS!!! I was on week 6 of C25K sometime last fall when I overdid it one day doing some fast walking/incline on the treadmill and got major shin splints. I had to do complete rest for 2 weeks and when I went back to running my heart wasn't in it. I've restarted the program twice since then, and want to start again.

The excuses keep piling up, along with the weight and depression. I so want to get healthy but can't seem to muster the motivation. No one else is going to do it for me, I'm the only one who can make it happen. I KNOW THIS!! Yet, I'm stuck. So, I hope to gain some motivation from you all and when I do start, I look forward to sharing that triumph with you guys.

[babybugmama]

Bex - I've started and stopped running so many times the last few months. I started running a month after ds was born..and then stopped. And started. And stopped. Etc. Just keep trying. Make it really easy to get out. Like, 5 minutes easy. It helps me to say, all I have to do today is x minutes. And make it super easy and attainable. Can you find someone to run with?

How about this...would anyone be interested in picking an online running buddy? I know we kind of buddy up with each other here...but sometimes it moves so fast it's hard to keep up. What if we each had a single buddy that we were accountable to and could work to be each others cheerleaders? Thoughts?

[kate~mom]

Originally Posted by babybugmama

How about this...would anyone be interested in picking an online running buddy? I know we kind of buddy up with each other here...but sometimes it moves so fast it's hard to keep up. What if we each had a single buddy that we were accountable to and could work to be each others cheerleaders? Thoughts?

i am so in - specifically, i need someone to be accountable to in order to get my rear out of bed at 6am to run, please. :

[HomeBirthMommy]

Originally Posted by Shantimama

Count me in with too this week - and can you believe it, I lost my Diva cup. How on earth do you do that??? I appreciate it more than ever after this cycle.

Ummm-you didn't lose in while in use, did you???

Bex-Good for you! The ladies on this thread have been so incredibly inspiring and supportive. I honestly don't think I would be the runner I am now without them and because of them I have set goals I never would have dreamed about before. Love y'all!

Jo-Yippy for the outside run!

Monica-I can't believe you're still sick. Yuck.

College slacking-I didn't hit that phase until my sophomore year. My freshman year I was very competitive with the 5 guys that were in my honors program (we each had to choose a subject for concentration and we all choose biology). Actually, they were very competitive and didn't really pay me much attention. Imagine their surprise when I had the highest scores at the end of the year. I will never forget their faces when our teacher announced it!

I ended up getting a run in today! My SIL and I went for a nice 3.68, with a stop at CVS on the way home. I ran home carrying a bag with Gatorade, saltines and two new coloring books. It's no chicken, but it was a little awkward. :

[poppywise]

welcome newbies! :

is here too, oh joy.

condi - how did it go today?

kerc - congrats on the move. exhausting, aren't they? at least you get to be done with that of a buyer

my toe is slowly coming around. i see some running in my future!

this weekend is the kentucky derby so we're headed to louisville. i'm lucky enough to have access to the track on that day. most locals don't get to go because tickets are very hard to come by and are reserved for all the out of town big rollers. it's a lot of fun, though, for a race all of two minutes long.

back later...

[mamabeth]

it's a little early for AF for me, but I seem to be PMS'ing or something. fight with dh, got all teary about something stupid...not sure what is going on. maybe I'm just getting in sync with the dingos? someone really should study us.

oh and shanti, I totally see how you could lose a diva cup. I have to hide mine because dd and ds are totally fascinated with it, grossening as that is.

yay HBM! I hope your sickies feel better soon, poor girls. "runs with puke supplies" OH! lmk if you want us to pick up your csa thing! yikes!

bex, we are totally there for you. I have started and stopped too many times to count...it's just part of it. let us know what's going on and we will cheer you on no matter what. but be careful...you might get addicted to dingoes and running. it's a good thing, really.

take care mamas.

[eksmom]

Originally Posted by Bex80

I hesitate to join this thread. I totally suck right now but I have nowhere else to turn.

Bex, you can do it! This thread is a wonderful source of support. Please feel free to ask questions and share your struggles and triumphs! I have been off and on myself - I believe that is probably the way it will be for life, especially while I am the mother of young children. This time last year I had finished my first half marathon and logged 150 miles in the month of May. Right now I'm doing great if I get out 4 times a week for a total of about 15 miles a week, and that's after some long stretches of not running at all. You just have to keep plugging away. Remember that every step you take is a step for better health, both physical and mental, and every little bit counts.

Originally Posted by babybugmama

How about this...would anyone be interested in picking an online running buddy? I know we kind of buddy up with each other here...but sometimes it moves so fast it's hard to keep up. What if we each had a single buddy that we were accountable to and could work to be each others cheerleaders? Thoughts?

I like it! I'd be in!

Originally Posted by HomeBirthMommy

I ran home carrying a bag with Gatorade, saltines and two new coloring books. It's no chicken, but it was a little awkward. :

I don't know how you do it, HBM. The one time I ran with a 1 lb. bag of baby carrots I thought that was awkward. You rock!

Originally Posted by doctorjen

The thing with my ds is that he really wants to be at college. He loves it there, loves the independence, loves his friends, and was horrified at the thought of coming home for the next year.

Jen, I would have been absolutely horrified at the suggestion that I come home from school at this same point in my freshman year. I resisted the notion, didn't think I needed to, etc. etc. until literally about 2 weeks before I was supposed to go back in the fall. It suddently started to feel like it was closing in on me and that is what clued me in that I'd better not go or it would be the same deal or worse.

Originally Posted by doctorjen

I know in the big picture one bad year is no big deal, but it's a life pattern with him, and I'm wondering when he's going to start caring about something, anything - you know?

The only real experience I have with someone who doesn't have a lot of drive is my DH. I think that is definitely connected to his other issues, so I don't know that that's an appropriate road to go down with regards to your DS. For myself, I do recall a feeling in college that I was supposed to pick something to do, but I don't think I had the right criteria to use to decide. Somehow I had very little understanding of what the real world is like - i.e. what it's like when you have to pay your own bills, etc. I put all my focus on finding a major that would make me happy - and while I think that is important, I think it is not the only thing to consider. I also didn't really know at the time what would make me happy - I felt like lots of stuff was interesting, but how was I supposed to know if it would be something I would love for the rest of my life? I just had a really abstract view of the world and felt a lot of pressure to make the right decision, but really had no clue how to do so. As it turned out, I had planned to be an elementary school teacher, but needed a primary major. Lots of elem ed majors did psych for their major, so I took some classes. Loved the research aspect of it which was viewed kind of negatively by the education professors, so I ditched the elem ed part and threw myself headlong into psych. This was well after naming majors such as Spanish and computer science. I might as well have been throwing darts to pick a major in my first 2 years of college. Psychology and research really lit my fire and I no longer felt all the doubt that I felt when I was just "picking" something. Don't know if any of that ramble makes sense...

Originally Posted by doctorjen

Also, I think you and I are similarly driven to do the right thing and to want folks to like us. That's how I was always the standout student and made it through med school. My kids are nothing like me! And here I am like "What do you mean you don't want to?" :

Yep, exactly. It was a little tricky when my peers were giving me grief for being the smart kid - but I don't think I ever considered just totally ditching schoolwork. I think I figured I was too nerdy otherwise for it to work - then I'd still be nerdy but with low grades and in trouble with my parents!

RR: I think your plan for this week sounds good. Here's a pretty good article on tapering before a marathon... but it has lots of good advice no matter the distance. Let me know if you want any eating/carb-loading advice!

I have been meaning to say to Aurora! Jump right in!

Poppy, glad your toe is healing. I always think of you at Derby time. Have fun!

Worked in the garden tonight. Remind me next year how much I hate hoeing up clumps of grass and weeds if I get any big schemes about expanding the garden. We doubled its size this year and I am still trying to get it ready to plant. I dug up a half of a brick tonight!

[2babybees]

Welcome Newbies!! A fresh thread is always the best place to start! Just getting out there is 90% of the battle. The rest takes care of itself.

BBM- Yes I'd love a partner. I need to stay on track to have a great racing summer. I am going to be triathloning the whole time but I need to not let the running slide. It is my strength so I think I can get away with doing it less. I really want to go into the fall running strong to pull out the 3:40 marathon time.

Kerc- Congrats on the move! Record time it seemed!:

Re: Potty Learning...We are also ECers at heart. ds was daytime accident free by his 2nd birthday. But he'd been using the potty since 11 months on and off. DS was a very late talker and only had 6 words at age two, "potty" was one of them. At nearly three he's in undies at night. His sister at 5.5 is still in pullups. We also have a very strong line of sleep issues/nighttime wetting in our family(I slept walked through high school age). I imagine she has a long road ahead of her.

[Balancin1]

Ooh, my first attempt at multiquoting!

Originally Posted by babybugmama

Balancin I'm in and out of the loop these days - what's up?

Originally Posted by eksmom

Chelsea, don't wait (especially not for the length of AF!). Pity pot posters are allowed here too! What better place to work it all out than here with us?

Thanks ladies, I think I do need a kick in the pants or something.

I am basically Not Dealing Well with having had my half goal derailed. I cry when I see people running and yet I can't seem to get restarted. I did take DD for a long bike ride on Sunday so I know I'm finally well enough to run. (That cold went into my ears and chest and just took forever to end.) I feel like I was so close to the half and then it just got beyond reach.

I'm worried about the marathon, if I can't manage to train for a half, how will I fit in the marathon training? Although, DD will be starting preschool so at least we will have some relief from this always-at-work thing DH and I have going now (we switch off who is working and who is caring for DD.)

We've got a lot of changes going on at home right now too, both in scraping together the $$ for preschool and in rearranging our small apartment to better fit our lives. I just feel like things have been so out of control this spring. I can't set my priorities and feel like there are so many demands on my time that either I'm running from dawn to dusk or I'm not even coming close to filling half my obligations.

Ok, I and I guess I should just 'fess up to something else about the half that bugs me is that this was "my year" for running in lieu of worrying about having another baby (which our circumstances don't really allow for) and now it feel like I can't even manage that.

On the upside, DD just PL'd at last. She'd been halfway there forever and then DH agreed to cut the safety net. We had about two weeks of wet pants (that DD would take off herself) and all of a sudden it finally "clicked." Last night she even pooped in the potty by herself, which she has not done since we abandoned EC at 15 months (when she hit the negative stage.) So those of you just starting the final push, I have to say just going for it worked for us.

DrJen, what about calling the college and finding out what kinds of counseling they might have? I know at my school there was a ton and I never took advantage of it. I hit stages much like both your DD and your DS seem to be going through right now. I so wish I knew then what I know now. How I'm ever going to get DD through it without hovering too much I don't know.

Maybe I need to sign up for a 5K. With all the training I put in earlier I don't feel it would be hard to do one without having been running long and maybe that would get me started. Ugh. Thanks for reading all the way through this long thing.

Oh and I sure could use a buddy. Having Eks, RM, and DrJen got me so far towards the half, it was Almost There. I need someone just starting over though.

[2babybees]

Originally Posted by Balancin1

I am basically Not Dealing Well with having had my half goal derailed. I cry when I see people running and yet I can't seem to get restarted. I did take DD for a long bike ride on Sunday so I know I'm finally well enough to run. (That cold went into my ears and chest and just took forever to end.) I feel like I was so close to the half and then it just got beyond reach.

Speaking as someone who was at that point in Feb/March realizing I wouldn't be marathoning you'll get to the otherside. Keep coming here!! I was so resentful of the people out there running too. And look just two months later I ran this kick butt half. Sign up for a 5k!! It'll come back faster than you think.

[Balancin1]

Aw 2BBs, that's just what I needed to hear. Why was I hiding from you guys?

[jgmommo]

been lurking and not posting again but...

very nice run w/bbm this morning. I will happily push the jogger halfway if it means we can run together. and her dd ran with us some of the way...she's just so cute.

drjen, your description of your ds fits what dh's family and teachers used to say about him. He failed out of his first year of college, except for psychology class. After we met, something clicked for him and he went on to get his PhD in psych. Now, he's 38 and to say he's driven would be the understatement of the year.

[Taosmama]

THREE pages already and it's still May 1st? This girl just can't keep up with you all!

I'm here to sub and to confess - Chelsea, I'll start the pity party. First, I'm blowing off my race this Sunday. I feel horribly guilty, but I didn't run for a week while on vacation. And the shift changes that dh would have had to do for me to run on a Sunday would have meant me not seeing him all this week.

I'm in a running slump. Still running, but I'm having a hard time with my long runs. I just can't motivate myself and am resenting the time/energy they take. I think the problem is that my LRs are scheduled for Sat, which is our only "family" day together because dh works Sundays. I love running and I love/need the serotonin elevation it provides, but it's so hard to fit in. Not to mention it seriously cuts into my knitting time, and it seems like working mamas are only allowed one hobby at a time.

AF came a week early - must be y'all's fault, even tho' I've barely had time to lurk!

Awesome race times JayGee and Callie! :

CherylAnn - WTG on the marathon! I need to go back to last month's thread to check out your pics!

Bex, you can totally do it! I started running about a year and a half ago with the C25K. It took me forever to get thru it because I'd stop then start up again. But I keep coming back, and now I'm hooked. Even if I feel lousy, I try to just get myself out the door, and I always feel better.

[kate~mom]

Originally Posted by Balancin1

Maybe I need to sign up for a 5K. With all the training I put in earlier I don't feel it would be hard to do one without having been running long and maybe that would get me started. Ugh. Thanks for reading all the way through this long thing.

maybe it's a 5K, maybe it's a trail run, maybe it's a yoga class, maybe it's just *going to a bigger race to be inspired by others (something i have meant to do for almost a year now). this has been a really hard year for me - perhaps because my first year of running allowed me to accomplish and improve so much, and the outside stressors haven't allowed anything near the level i need to train at to see similar improvements.

i can't give you advice about the marathon, as i haven't btdt - but i can talk your ear off about being disappointed in running, training, racing, etc.

i can tell you this - two races got my heart back into it - the crazy, crazy trail run i did in february. trail running is such a different bird than road running - you can't focus on your speed in the same way, so you enjoy the run itself more. add that to the primal childhood memories that are triggered by running through the woods, laughing and covered in mud. it's awesome for falling back in love with your sneakers. then this weekend, with my half, i knew in the back of my mind that only a miracle would give me the 1:37 i wanted for automatic entry into the nyc marathon. miracle, as expected, didn't happen. but i ran for the fun of it - i ran to watch the super-speedies fly by on the out and back course, i ran to cheer on those slower than me on after my turn around on the out and back, i ran to enjoy the awesome park we train in, i ran to thank my awesome club members for putting on a fantastic event, and i ran much better than the nagging self-doubting voice in the back of my head was telling me.

bex - didn't want to forget about you either. welcome - and remember, getting out there once a week is better than nothing! set reasonable, achievable goals, so you can feel a sense of accomplishment. take your time at first, take care of and listen to your body! and don't you dare stop posting to this thread.

[eksmom]

Chelsea, here's my story. It seems like it mirrors yours in a lot of ways. Remember last summer I was running all that high mileage and training for the Richmond Marathon in November? Then my appendicitis hit - on an easy week in my training schedule, no less, so that 6 days after surgery I was supposed to be running 14 miles, which is more or less my longest distance ever, and 15 the week after that. It didn't happen and I even though I jumped right back into running, I realized about a month post-surgery that I wasn't going to make the marathon. There is only one word that sums up how I felt: FAILURE. It's silly really, and I don't understand it, but it totally shook my confidence. The training log gets very sparse after the point that I gave it up. I think I adopted an "if I don't run I can't fail" attitude.

Before this I had always been a pretty faithful, stick-to-the-schedule type of runner. The appendicitis and all of the things that followed (marriage on the brink of separation, Christmas, marriage improving, sickness) have left me with a bit more of a realistic attitude about my running. It's only been in the last few weeks that I've been able to look at it differently. What's important is that I am a lifelong runner (or even exerciser), in whatever fashion that has to be based on whatever else is going on in my life. I need to be realistic about demands on my time and about things that are out of my control or that sometimes have to take higher priority, like illness or my family or my job. For me, it has taken a lot of work to to truly believe that missing a few days, weeks, or a goal doesn't mean that I have failed and have to throw in the towel. I want to be 85 and look back and say, yes, I am a runner, for 50+ years I more or less ran consistently. That doesn't mean day in and day out, but overall in the grand scheme of things, I did what I could do and I kept moving. Maybe some months I ran 150 miles and other months I ran 20, but I was running when I could.

I also feel the same about it being "my year" for running before getting pg again. I did want to run a marathon before I had another baby. It didn't happen, for reasons beyond my control. I've accepted it. The marathon will always be there. I *will* do it someday. I actually have a running-related goal for my next pregnancy, and that is simply to do something besides sit on my posterior which I did a lot of with EK. So, I'm looking at it as trading one for the other. The order is different but there's time for both. Making running fit my life, not trying to make life fit my running.

I don't know if any of this helps. I just know how shocked and disappointed I was in myself that I got appendicitis. See how ridiculous that sounds? But that is how I felt. The things that have interrupted your half training have been out of your control. Sickness is a biggie. It stinks, but you have to acknowledge it/give it some weight/not beat yourself up and take care of your body. I had also never considered that I might not meet a running goal that I laid out for myself (control freak much? ). That was a shock, too. But it doesn't mean I have to give up; I can make new goals and keep trying, and it will be that much sweeter when they are finally achieved.

I agree with the others who have said to pick something to do. A different type of exercise, or a run without a watch/route, or on the trail. A 5K. If you get out and do something, no matter how "small", your confidence will come back. You'll notice a difference in a few days. You can do it, mama. I totally believe in you.

[moonshine]

Ok, just thought that I finally got caught up (and this from just missing this afternoon's posts!), but then when I hit reply, see that there are a bunch of new posts -- will have to catch up again tomorrow. Just wanted to chime in re the college thing. I totally agree with the others who have said that taking a year off between hs and college, esp to do something like volunteering, is so worth it. Not that I would know. I did take a year off, much to the chagrin of my family, who threatened never to pay if I didn't go when planned (which ended up not being true). I moved out, got some much needed independence, saw how far, or rather how not very far I would get w/o college and went the following year. It would have been so much better to have my parents support and do something other than work in a restaurant, party and "find myself" but hey, we try to do better by our kids, right?

Oh, and I love the idea of a running buddy. Maybe that is what I need for motivation!

Oh, and Monica, I saw this sweater, so I got a book about Aran knitting. Thinking I might try to start Christmas gifts. Tonight I spent trying to learn the popcorn stitch. Haven't quite mastered it yet. Will keep you updated. Hmmm, I really should start a blog.

More tomorrow, ladies.