Scared to homebirth.. any advice?

[pottermama]

okay let me start with a little history. I have been pregnancy 6 time with 2 very uneventful, successful hospital births. Those were followed by 3 m/c and I am now pregnant. I have had to be on progesterone for the last 4 months and I am just starting to wean off it. I have encountered problem after problem with my m/w(hospital m/w). I had to do all the research about the prog. and since then have had to force them to help me through all the worries that come from the previous miscarriages.

I have been considering homebirth. The idea sounds wonderful to me,but after going through the pregnancy losses I have read so many things about baby loss(in hospital and homebirth.) My labors were so easy never any problems but for some reason I can not get over the fear of something going wrong at a homebirth. Do you have any suggestions or good reads to help me through this? I am so unhappy with my midwives and I don't want an ob but my fear is holding me back. Please help...

[alegna]

Articulate what you're afraid of (specific things going wrong) then get Henci Goer's Obstetric Myth vs. Research Reality.



-Angela

[alegna]

bumping up for you to get more input.

-Angela

[Peony]

Heather, I have Henri's book and the Suzanne Arms one. And call Carol E., she could help you with your fears.

[ladybugchild77]

Have you read Birthing From Within? and The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth is good too. FWIW I had 2 m/c due to low progestorone and then I had a healthy baby 11 months after the last m/c. I now have two children. I will be thinking of you and your babe!

[Wugmama]

I am never surprised when I hear that someone is afraid to have a baby at home because these fears are so supported by our culture. Can you make a list of your concerns and set up an interview with a homebirth midwife in whom you'd be interested?

I can honestly say after having had hospital midwife care and homebirth traditional midwife care, I feel my baby and I were much safer and better cared for than with the traditional homebirth midwife. When pg last time and waiting for my hb I used to encourage pg friends and family to look into it and make the decision they felt best for them. Now I feel totally comfortable advising them to go for a hospital birth - it is that much better, and the stats bear that out.

Best wishes for a peaceful birth,
Tracy

[SublimeBirthGirl]

I suggest interviewing a few homebirth midwives. Ask THEM what if something goes wrong. See how they deal with various situations. Statistically, homebirth is actually safer, so the fears you have, while normal, aren't really based in reality (in a factual sense). I can imagine it must be hard to think about after suffering the losses you have suffered. I think you will find the care you receive from a homebirth midwife far superior to anything you can get from a hospital based attendant. And the birth itself will be an entirely new experience. There is always the chance something could go wrong, no matter where you give birth. The illusion is that you're better off in a hopsital if something does go wrong.

[huggerwocky]

think is through. What exactly is your fear. what could go wrong. how does a midwife handle this particular situation. how does a hospital handle this. what's the worst case scenario?

and then the hospital, what are your fears there and the chances ofthem becoming true?

[RachelGS]

Read, read, read. I used to think homebirth was crazy, but then I immersed myself in the literature. That fixed it.

[mommy2two babes]

One suggestion I have is to interview some other MW's I learned at my last HB that it really counts to have someone that you trust and like. Trust your first impression and go with your gut. I can completely understand your fear. I had a cerclage in during my pregnancy and was doing shared care with an OB who didn't approve of HB. He proceeded to try to scare the **** out of me and not have me birth at home. I agree witht he others read, read, read.
Good luck.
Krista

[Marvelleaux]

I haven't had a homebirth yet, but I've been seeing a homebirth midwife throughout my pregnancy and everyone, even those opposed to homebirth, has remarked about how relaxed and calm I am about the whole thing. Few people realize that the two are related.

My first pregnancy ended in miscarriage and I was seeing an OB. The whole experience was an emotional train-wreck. I don't blame this on the OB; I blame it (the emotions, not the miscarriage) on what seemed like a billion uncertainties that come along with pregnancy and the OB just didn't have the time between clients to address them fully, and at that point I wasn't self-educated enough to know what kind of questions to ask. I agree with the other ladies here who say to read, read, read. You will benefit from it no matter what kind of care provider you choose.

I also hope you take the advice of speaking a with a few HB midwives to get a feel for what they're all about. My midwife is whip-smart and very friendly. She's also very experienced. It's amazing what the absence of a white-coat can do for a personality... If you make a good match with your care provider you'll be surprised how many of your fears melt away--assuming of course you share them with her .

Good luck!

[mwherbs]

I agree with others interview the homebirth midwives in your area.
and then I say do what you feel safest doing.
I had had 2 hospital births before I had my first home birth-- after one hospital birth without knowing anything about homebirth or anything else I thought maybe I could just rent a motor home and have the baby in the hospital parking lot- I didn't do that but I did have that baby in 1 hr- if I had left from home any later I would have had him in the parking lot . Then we moved and I met a woman who had had several homebirths-she introduced me to her mw- from there I started to read and the first book I got was obstetric emergencies-- which was the right book for me to read- it put a limit to my fears of what could happen- but I was not planning to have any more children I just was not comfortable and actually had alot of depression and fear associated with the births-- so I read and read and read and found other mws, and talked with them- the main thing I was doing was processing what had happened to me and then that gave me some room and language to talk about deeper feelings the hospital births had stirred up. So for me my fears have been a package deal some real about life and death and some boundless that had to do with other losses and painful incidents in my life.

Information alone cannot make all your fears go away- and it is possible no matter where you give birth you could experience loss, but maybe finding out more can limit your fears. since you desire a home birth find out more about it by meeting the providers in your area
take care and good luck

[Ruthla]

Originally Posted by Wugmama

I am never surprised when I hear that someone is afraid to have a baby at home because these fears are so supported by our culture. Can you make a list of your concerns and set up an interview with a homebirth midwife in whom you'd be interested?

I can honestly say after having had hospital midwife care and homebirth traditional midwife care, I feel my baby and I were much safer and better cared for than with the traditional homebirth midwife. When pg last time and waiting for my hb I used to encourage pg friends and family to look into it and make the decision they felt best for them. Now I feel totally comfortable advising them to go for a hospital birth - it is that much better, and the stats bear that out.

Best wishes for a peaceful birth,
Tracy

Did you mean to way "I feel totally comfortable advising them to go for a home birth"?


mwherbs: I think you need to face your fears. What specifically are you afraid of happening during the birth? How would those situations be handled at home? How would they be handled at a hospital? I also suggest you meet with one or more HB midwives adn talk about your fears, and ask THEM what they'd do in each and every situation you're worried about.

[Marvelleaux]

Originally Posted by Wugmama

...Now I feel totally comfortable advising them to go for a hospital birth - it is that much better, and the stats bear that out...

Which stats bear that out?

[pottermama]

Thank you everyone for responding. I will definately read and talk with the midwives. I think I might also read a bunch of birth stories to remind me of how great giving birth is. I really appreciate the wonderful advice. :

[groovynaturemama]

i can relate to your fears... i have been pregnant 9 times. 7 misscarriages, 1 molar pregnancy, and this pregnancy, which resulted in a healthy, beautiful baby girl born at home the 24th of april! personally, i read ina may's "spiritual midwifery", i meditated a lot, and and wrote out positive affirmations (ex. "i can birth my baby at home, without intervention") that i stuck all over my house. my fears of this pregnancy not reaching term were very real, but i managed to overcome them and birth at home. honestly, i feared going to the hospital more, as it would stress me out if they tried to itervine with my birth, and in turn stress out the baby. i just wanted to birth where i felt most comfortable, and my home made the most sense to me, despite my crazy obstetrical history. my pregnancy was completely textbook, which made me more confident that a home birth was the right decision that, and my midiwfe kicks A**!!

[momtoS]

Could you find another midwife? I am concerned that you state that you are unhappy with your midwife. I have two children, the first 2.5 years old, born in hospital, med free with a midwife, and one born 2.5 WEEKS ago at home with the same midwife. I had 100% faith and trust in my midwife. She is confident and knowledgeable. I was a little afraid of the idea of a homebirth and she said at any time we could transfer to hospital if I was uncomfortable. I didn't because my labour was 2.5 hours and she was here only 25 minutes before babe was born. But it was wonderful (and extremely painful and intense) at home!