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support for UC in a UC forum - Page 3

post #41 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2bluefish View Post
Here's where I *will* preach humility. It's fine to decide that for yourself that would not be a valid reason to transfer. Just don't judge that it wasn't for another woman. You see, sometimes the goal isn't "to avoid transfer" or "to have a UC" for a particular woman. Sometimes the goal is a "trauma free birth" or something else. If a particular woman decides in the moment that another course of action will better met her goals, she may change course. That ability to decide for oneself is the essence of UC "for me".

I wasn't able to meet all my goals last birth, but I did meet the main ones by being flexible and evaluating my needs as my labor progressed. I do not mourn a lost UC. I do mourn having those first moments with my baby stolen from me. It was a high price to pay for an untraumatic labor and delivery.

This is why I felt unsafe sharing my birthing with in this forum right away, and why I did not post my birth story for 9 months. To have someone judge that my reasons were not "valid" is unfair. We must not assume that we all have the exact same goals. I've read UC stories where mamas were thrilled, and I would have been horrified by the traumas they endured. We all have different personalities and different ways we define "success".
See this is what I mean... I in no way meant to take away from another person. In a "general birth forum" I would never look twice at someone choosing another way to birth. But thats not what this is. And this post in itself is why I feel that i need to put more disclaimers than comments in my posts.

*my disclaimer* For WOMEN IN GENERAL, NOT SPEAKING OF MYSELF I think that the right birth for them, is the birth they are most comfortable with....be that UC, midwife assisted, doctor assisted or even elected cesarean. FOR MYSELF, I feel that the RIGHT birth, is a birth at home, with my husband, and no medical personnel, in the peace and tranquility of my home. People read birth stories in preparation for their own births, or to compare their birth stories. Maybe not everyone, but that is why I have read them. Why do you care if I don't agree? I'm just some name on the board. I go to UC specific boards to get support for UC. I just don't understand why things said in one context are so often taken out of context. In no way did I say I was judging anyone. I just look at transfers as a researcher would view a case study. In that situation would I or could I have done something different. It has nothing to do with YOU what so ever.

Call it pregnancy hormones but I just have no patience to defend myself anymore. I have UC'd before, it worked, I will do it again. Luckily I don't feel the need to find online encouragement and support for my decision these days because I do not think I would find it here. There are other groups... but that is another chat for another day. But I do have to stay away when things are just so negative and argumentative and defensive. GIP is more important to me than anything, and I would rather remove a negative influence to that, than try to argue my point.

You can find me in the CD, homeschooling, and trading areas of the board.
post #42 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jenlaana View Post
In no way did I say I was judging anyone. I just look at transfers as a researcher would view a case study. In that situation would I or could I have done something different. It has nothing to do with YOU what so ever.
Please know, I wasn't saying you were judging anyone either. I was just trying to understand and clarify what you were saying. Which you did here - thank you! I'm just realizing that there is a difference between UC as the goal and UC as a means to meet other goals. Both are relevant to this board. So I wouldn't assume when I comment to a mama that her goals are my goals. I'm sorry you feel you have to defend yourself. That wasn't my intention.

I'm having trouble resolving these two statements: "Why do you care if I don't agree? I'm just some name on the board." and saying "I don't feel the need to find online encouragement and support for my decision these days because I do not think I would find it here." I don't personally look for support in place where I don't care about the opinions of the participants.
post #43 of 44
LOL you want to talk about having to put caveats - go to the SAHM forum and read all the "but women who put their kids in daycare, WOH are good moms too" posts! Guess this is just life in a diverse world, huh?
post #44 of 44
I feel a bit "on the line" here because I know that when I first came here I was an honest UC-sceptic. In my heart I was wishing for a UC, but my rational mind was not cooperating. I am pretty sure I have posted some "unsupportive" threads here - for that I apologize - especially if they have made others feel doubt about their own choice to UC.

However I want to make it completely clear that this forum is the main reason that I eventually chose to go ahead with my UC plans. Without the patience, experience and knowledge of you ladies here I probably would have ended up planning another MW attended birth - and I am 100% sure that even if the outcome of my birth would have been the same then the way there would have not been anywhere near as empowering as it turned out to be with me "at the wheel".
Anyway my point is that if the ladies here in this forum can convince a rational sceptic like me then it has got to have an overweight of supportive posts..

As said before here then we dont all have the same reasons for wanting to UC - we dont all share the same filosophy about UC and we dont all have the same view of when it is wisest to transfer. I consider myself to be supportive of UC - but I may not think it safe to UC in all the same cases as some other mamas here would. It is completely possible that I would transfer at a time when another mama on this board would not - and it is possible that I would advice someone here to seek medical assistence when someone else here wouldnt. I think it is necessary for a board like this to welcome this range in opinions and views rather than rule out stuff at one end of the spectre - as long as our main wish - to have an unassisted, undisturbed, unhindered birth is the same.
Disclaimer:
It should go without saying that I think it inappropriate to come here and advocate against UC..
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