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cut boy asking about whole boy - Page 5

post #81 of 136
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sijae View Post
The problem with this is that that line of thinking is never right regardless of what side you are on. What will the circ'd boy do when he has children, circ them to look like him? The only way to end circ is to tell the truth.

Laura
I agree. I think it is important that they know that cutting and altering another persons body parts is wrong. I would tell them the truth, that we know know that circumcision is wrong, that we now know better, but some people didnt know any better. We shouldnt make it seem as though there is nothing wrong with it, and have them grow up thinking its okay to cut off a part of another persons body to make them look like you is acceptable. People who did circumcise their children I would say made a mistake and didnt fully understand why what they were doing was wrong.
post #82 of 136
Quote:
Originally Posted by enstar780 View Post
I agree. I think it is important that they know that cutting and altering another persons body parts is wrong. I would tell them the truth, that we know know that circumcision is wrong, that we now know better, but some people didnt know any better. We shouldnt make it seem as though there is nothing wrong with it, and have them grow up thinking its okay to cut off a part of another persons body to make them look like you is acceptable. People who did circumcise their children I would say made a mistake and didnt fully understand why what they were doing was wrong.
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post #83 of 136
Quote:
Originally Posted by Romana9+2 View Post
I really doubt saying something that might make him feel bad about himself or insecure about his penis will make him an intactivist. Just give him a foundation, and in time, he'll know what to do with it.

Julia
dd 1
I agree....more lasting would be the negative comment about his penis "not being right".....I'd stay away from the politics at this age....and just say, "ask your mother." or something like, "all penises look different.".....
post #84 of 136
Quote:
Originally Posted by mm72873 View Post
I agree....more lasting would be the negative comment about his penis "not being right".....I'd stay away from the politics at this age....and just say, "ask your mother." or something like, "all penises look different.".....
Yea, right. And his mom will feed him the whole load of crap of how it's better, healthier, cuter (girls like that, you'd be made fun of otherwise), etc. And this boy will go though this life (like most men do) believing this crap (as everyone naturally trusts his mom and believe that she would never allow anything bad to be done to him, so there must be some really good reason for it) and mutilating his sons : .
It’s time to tell the truth! Period! This blunt, unsweetened, uncovered truth!
post #85 of 136
Yes, but it's not your child to indoctrinate. I am a teacher and each child comes to school with their parent's set of beliefs, some I agree with some I don't. I believe very strongly against certain things, but it's not my child to educate. If another person told my child somehting on his body was "wrong" I would be absolutely livid.
post #86 of 136
What about: this is how you and ALL boys look when they are born, ask your mom and dad what happened.
post #87 of 136
Quote:
Originally Posted by mm72873 View Post
Yes, but it's not your child to indoctrinate. I am a teacher and each child comes to school with their parent's set of beliefs, some I agree with some I don't. I believe very strongly against certain things, but it's not my child to educate. If another person told my child somehting on his body was "wrong" I would be absolutely livid.
Sorry for being blunt but if you mutilated your child and I tell him the truth the last thing I'd care is you being livid! Don't you see, this is EXACTLY why this mutilation going on and on in circles, because people who know the truth don't say it minding thier own busuness or being too afraid to make other people feel bad/guilty/livid/etc...
post #88 of 136
Quote:
Originally Posted by NamastePlatypus View Post
What about: this is how you and ALL boys look when they are born, ask your mom and dad what happened.
I like that one! I think this is the one I would go with.
post #89 of 136
I see you feel strongly about this. I feel strongly about gay marriage rights, I feel strongly about ending the war, I feel strongly about Palestinian rights...and on and on and on. I would not go around trying to attack these issues by changing a KID's mind and making him feel bad about his body. You could start an parent education group, you could hand out leaflets.....but to make a child feel that his body is "damaged" for some irriversable mistake his parents made has life-long consequences.

Miriam
post #90 of 136
Originally Posted by NamastePlatypus
What about: this is how you and ALL boys look when they are born, ask your mom and dad what happened.

Quote:
Originally Posted by carriebft View Post
I like that one! I think this is the one I would go with.
Ditto. It's short, to the point. The only downside is the circumcising mom could still fill her son's head w/ lies. It at least informs him of the way boys' penises look like at birth.
post #91 of 136

heh-heh-heh

I've changed my mind. I'm feeling... uh, "feisty". I'd tell him:

This is how you and ALL boys look when they are born. Your mom and dad had the end of yours cut off. Ask your mom and dad what happened.

It's the truth and why should you be scorned for telling him the truth about what happened to him by their choice? If his parents freak, it's proof they feel they've got some explaining to do on WHY they did this to him (KWIM?)!
post #92 of 136
Quote:
Originally Posted by Microsoap View Post
This is how you and ALL boys look when they are born. Your mom and dad had the end of yours cut off. Ask your mom and dad what happened...
This is how you and ALL boys look when they are born. Your mom and dad had the end of yours cut off because they like it nice and short. Ask your mom and dad...

Sorry, black humor. Couldn't help myself ...
post #93 of 136
Yulia, there was an article in The Globe And Mail recently about clipping the end off of dogs ears and tails and how it seems unnecessary, and cruel. A few days later, a wonderfully logical reader wrote in to say how many of those who are against that, also circumcised their sons! I immediately thought that when I read the article.
post #94 of 136
Quote:
Originally Posted by jami77 View Post
To the "wolves"
on this page, I haven't replied as of yet b/c I have been busy being a "horrible" mother as some of you accused me of, and helping my husband with his mother's estate business, as she has just passed. You are all so sensitive to others!
And I did read the rules of posting; its MY opinion. The decision my husband and I made was not ROUTINE and if I hadn't stood by my decision would I have written it here? Some of your replies have contained nothing but venom and disdain.
When my friend said she found a website that agreed with many of my ideas about childrearing, I was so excited. I wasn't aware that to participate and be "accepted" you had to agree with everyone else, on every issue.
I might one day regret my decision, and yeah, my son might want to "sue" me as one of you suggested so kindly(again, about a woman you don't personally know). If he does, it will be between my son a I.
I am a nurse, I am educated, I did my research. I have seen first hand some things that led me to my decision, which I won't bother typing, b/c none of you would be receptive to listening to my different views.
And this will probably be my "THIRD" and last post because this is a sorority I don't think I want to be a part of. GOOD LUCK TO YOU ALL.
Many of the ideals espoused on Mothering.com take the time and effort of multiple people, such as an entire family eating healthy, or happen over a long period of time, such as raising a kid without spanking. Somethings, like breastfeeding, are a relationship between two people that may not always work out the way both people need. Circumcision is on the exact opposite end of the spectrum. Circumcision is a one time choice that does lifelong damage to many people, the boy who was circumcised, his future partners, and his future children. The parents gain absolutely nothing by having their son circumcised. In fact, no one gains anything. It isn't even neutral, it is simply a loss.

Infant circumcision should be illegal. Obviously, there are too many parents in the United States for whom the idea of personal freedoms and bodily integrity only applies to rational thinking adults.

~Nay
post #95 of 136
Quote:
Originally Posted by TigerTail View Post
what, the 'hands off children's genitals' sorority? works for me.
Yeah, I know what I'm changing my location to.

ETA: Kxsiven gave me a better idea.
post #96 of 136
Quote:
Originally Posted by trmpetplaya View Post
I would tell him to ask his mother :

love and peace.
This. I don't have son, but if I did, and if someone who was pro-circ implied to my child that circ was better, and there was something wrong with how they looked, I'd be livid. I"d never discuss another child's penis with them. It's just not anyone but the parents' place to do that.
post #97 of 136
Quote:
Originally Posted by angelcat View Post
This. I don't have son, but if I did, and if someone who was pro-circ implied to my child that circ was better, and there was something wrong with how they looked, I'd be livid. I"d never discuss another child's penis with them. It's just not anyone but the parents' place to do that.
if he brings it up we should lie, then? the difference is INTACT IS DEFAULT. if a pro-circ person tried to tell my kids it was better, they'd run screaming from the pervert. they know about cutters, you see.

even if they shut up the adults, informed, intact children will be direct, i imagine. i teach my kids to be kind, but kids are kids.
post #98 of 136
So let me get this right.....protecting a penis is more important than the child's self esteem and self image.

What I get is that it's more important to convince a child that their circ-penis is a horrible thing their parent did to them......and have them go through life feeling bad about something they could never have controlled to begin with.

If you are so concerened with the child's well being why does not the fact that they are children with feelings and delicate self-esteems not important?. I get the feeling that to disagree with any of you ladies is not an option......I too felt until now these posts were about being open to varied ways of parenting....but I see now some of you are very "fundamentalist" in your views about what is good parenting and what is bad parenting.....I'd say this attitude is very much similar to any maintream group I might encounter and also do not feel like continuing the conversation. Not many OPEN minds here, just rants and raves.

Miriam
post #99 of 136
Quote:
Originally Posted by TigerTail View Post
if he brings it up we should lie, then? the difference is INTACT IS DEFAULT. if a pro-circ person tried to tell my kids it was better, they'd run screaming from the pervert. they know about cutters, you see.

even if they shut up the adults, informed, intact children will be direct, i imagine. i teach my kids to be kind, but kids are kids.

You tell them to ask their parents. Some things are not appropriate to discuss with someone else's children.

And I try to teach my child NOT to be judgmental. but each to their own, I guess.

(I do realize kids will say stuff anyhow. I did, as a child, and got reprimanded, as I should have been, when what I said was inapropriate or mean or anything like that.)
post #100 of 136
You have noticed that this is "The Case Against Circumcision" haven't you?

No-one is going to want to try and give a small boy a complex about his genitals - BUT there is no way that he should be allowed to think that they are natural either - or for that matter that there is something "wrong" with the intact child he is commenting about.

His parents altered his genitals, and he should not be growing up thinking that it's a valid option - especially if he's asking about another person's child. Why should that person have to cover up what his parents did to him? If his parents do not want to explain, maybe they should have left him alone in the first place (especially, as in this case, if they already knew what they were doing was wrong, and refused to listen).

There is also no point in trying to "protect" his feelings over much, you'll probably find that a well educated intact child will be somewhat more direct - and the circumcised one will easily find confirmatory information all over the internet.
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