**spotlight on Jilian!**

[dara00]

That's Jilian with 1 L - sorry I just realized that! Is that your name?
So, you have a 4 year old boy and you're expecting another boy - very nice! What does your ds think about the new baby?
I see you are passionate about non circ, non vac, home birth, cloth diapers...anything else? which is your biggest cause?
was your son born at home?
what were we congratulating you about recently - a wedding?
you've been a member here for awhile - do you remember why you originally joined?

ok, I'll add more later! everyone else join in please!

[sebarnes]

Tell us about your ds1's birth. If you could change one thing about it, what would it be?

How do you envision your babe's birth this time?

What is your favorite body part (on yourself )?

What part of your s/o body do you like best?

[ericswifey27]

What do you look forward to most about labor?

[Jilian]

That's Jilian with 1 L - sorry I just realized that! Is that your name? My name is Jill, but I've always thought my name was plain, so as a joke a few friends started calling me "Jilian with one L" a few years ago to make my name interesting. It stuck. DP still calls me Jilian

So, you have a 4 year old boy and you're expecting another boy - very nice! What does your ds think about the new baby? Yep, second boy! DS seems excited but I know it will be really hard for him to share my attention. He is very possesive of me and we're really close. I spent some time as a single mom and it was just the two of us for a while. My sister just had a baby so that helped him to understand the concept of "baby". For a while he hated her baby but now he's coming around and really wanting to help with her baby. I'm glad he got to see a baby in action before our baby is born.

I see you are passionate about non circ, non vac, home birth, cloth diapers...anything else? which is your biggest cause? I think no circ and respect during birth are my two biggest passions. I am a labor Doula and unfortunately I see many people mistreated during labor, it REALLY bothers me and that is why I do what I do. I think it is wrong to take advantage of a woman when she's vulnerable during labor. It's birth rape.

was your son born at home? No. He was born at a hospital in Boston (where we lived at the time). I wanted to have him there "just in case". It was fear of the unknown. Everything went perfectly and I could have easily done it at home. I hadn't found this site before he was born and knew nothing about homebirth or even birth center birth. I was somewhat mainstream :

what were we congratulating you about recently - a wedding? Yeah, DP and I are getting married this weekend We've been together for a little over 2 yrs now and never really felt the need to get married until recently. We both had a talk and decided it was important to both of us to get married before the baby is born, so we're doing it!

you've been a member here for awhile - do you remember why you originally joined? I joined when DS was a few months old. I used to be a member on Americanbaby and I just didn't fit in. One day a mom on that site said I'd probably better fit in on mothering and gave me the link. That is when I started researching cloth diapers, and vaccinations. I stop vaxing 2 months after joining and started using cloth a few weeks after joining. I've learned so much for this site and I'm happy for that, it's made me a more natural and environmentally conscious person.

[Jilian]

Tell us about your ds1's birth. If you could change one thing about it, what would it be? DS's birth was perfect in every way. I went into the hospital at 4 cm and the MW on call admitted me. She encourgaed me to change positions several times. She stayed with me most of the time I was there. 2 hours after being admitted contractions got intense. No one ever even offered me pain meds and the thought didn't even cross my mind. They kept the room nice for me and dimmed the lights and put on some music. When my water broke I told the MW I was scared and I started crying, she sat by my side and held my hand and told me everything was going perfect. I was no longer afraid after that. DS was born 9 hours after I arrived and it took 2 hours, 20 mins of pushing to get him out.

The only thing I'd change is not allowing the nurses to take him away from me after the birth for routing procedures. I thought I had to, I didn't realize I had a say in the matter. I didn't want to be a "bad patient" but it felt so wrong to me to hand him off when all I wanted to do was hold him and get to know him.

How do you envision your babe's birth this time? I'd like a peaceful waterbirth, with low lighting and candles lit, and relaxing music playing. I'd like for DP to catch the baby if he's feeling up to it.

What is your favorite body part (on yourself )? Right now, my belly!

What part of your s/o body do you like best? His eyes, he has beautiful green eyes.

[Jilian]

What do you look forward to most about labor? Meeting my baby. I feel like I already know his personality from how he acts in my belly, I want to see if I'm right. I'm also looking forward to seeing DP become a father. He's already very fatherly with DS but he wasn't there for the baby stage. He met DS when DS was little under 2.

[GenomicsGirl]

Originally Posted by Jilian

I've learned so much for this site and I'm happy for that, it's made me a more natural and environmentally conscious person.

Isn't it funny how so many of us joined and changed our ways afterwards? I love how we are so open to other ways

A few questions:

What do you find most challenging about having a 4-year old?
What do you love about the age 4?
Does your 4-year old pretend to strike you or make guns out of blocks? It's an issue we're having at home right now with DS1.
Do you like to paint your nails and get pedicures?
How often do you shower?
Do you find it difficult to sleep now?

[Jilian]

What do you find most challenging about having a 4-year old? DS is now starting to want to be independent and do things on his own that he's not ready to do - like use a knife at dinner, drive our car, go outside by himself. I'm having trouble balancing his freedom and desire to learn with setting boundaries and deciding what he's not ready for yet.

He is also experimenting with saying bad words. He said the "F" word in Target the other day and I almost died. I was having a bad day (hormonal) and started crying and we left

What do you love about the age 4? I love that he has his own little plans and ideas. He's turning into a problem solver now and it's great to see his though process. The other day he asked if he could go to his aunt's house by himself, I asked how he would get there and he looked at me like it was a silly question and replied "I can drive my jeep". He has a powerwheels jeep

Does your 4-year old pretend to strike you or make guns out of blocks? It's an issue we're having at home right now with DS1. He is starting to experiment with violence/agression but has never mentioned guns. He sometimes has his toys hit each other. He's hit me before. He terrorizes the cats. We're working on it and it's hard because I'm not a violent person at all, so to see my little DS acting violently is disturbing sometimes.

Do you like to paint your nails and get pedicures? I always have my toenails painted but rarely paint my fingernails. I usually keep them really short. I LOVE pedicures. I just got one a few weeks ago and it was wonderful.

How often do you shower? At least ever other day. But if I get sweaty or dirty I'll shower every day. I wash my hair every other day or sometimes every third day because it gets really dry if I wash it too much.

Do you find it difficult to sleep now? YES! I'm uncomfortable. I sleep on the couch all the time now because I like to lean my back up against the back of the couch for support. I toss and turn all night long then have a hard time getting back to sleep after getting up to pee.

[Ks Mama]

Originally Posted by Jilian

what were we congratulating you about recently - a wedding? Yeah, DP and I are getting married this weekend We've been together for a little over 2 yrs now and never really felt the need to get married until recently. We both had a talk and decided it was important to both of us to get married before the baby is born, so we're doing it!

Wow! Congratulations!!!!!

[Jilian]

Originally Posted by Ks Mama

Wow! Congratulations!!!!!

Thanks!! We're excited.

[WhiteWax]

Where were you born?
What prompted the move from Boston to Florida?
How did you and Soon-to-be-DH meet?
How many siblings do you have?
How many kids do you plan on having?

[Jilian]

Where were you born? Boston, in the same hospital that DS was born in

What prompted the move from Boston to Florida? My mom always wanted to move to FL and had been trying to talk me into for years. My ex DH and I owned a construction company and there was a huge market for construction and new house development in the part of FL we moved to. It was a family and business thing. But ex DH and I ended up seperating before we all moved down to FL, but we all decided to still move down.

How did you and Soon-to-be-DH meet? Ironically he moved to FL (from Boston) one month after I did. We did not know each other when we both lived in Boston, even though we only live 1/2 hour away from each other. We both ended up waiting tables at the same restaurant when we moved to FL. I introduced myself because he was the new guy and told him to let me know if he ever needed help. We became friends and hung out for about 5 months before he approached me to tell me he had feelings for me. I always knew he did but was nervous about getting involved with someone since my marriage had just ended a little over a year before. I decided to give him a chance anyway and now here we are over 2 yrs later.

How many siblings do you have? One sister. She's 23, I'm 28. She moved down to FL when we all moved down here too. We're very close friends now, she just had her first child in February.

How many kids do you plan on having? I'm pretty sure I'm done, at least with being pregnant and giving birth. I think I might want one more child but I'd like to adopt or mayber foster. DP feels like he wants at least one more child.

[GenomicsGirl]

Do your ex-DH and your fiance look alike or have similar features?
How similar do you expect your 2 DCs to look?
Do you and you sis look alike?
Do your sis's baby and your ds look alike?
Is your mom still in FL?
What do you like more about living in FL? What do you like more about living in NY?

[dara00]

I've been offline all day, and I enjoyed reading all the replies!

Jilian, congrats on your wedding! what sort of wedding are you having?

[Jilian]

Do your ex-DH and your fiance look alike or have similar features? They don't look alike at all. The only features they have in common are that they are both tall with dark hair.

How similar do you expect your 2 DCs to look? I don't expect them to look much alike, well maybe a little. DS has my coloring - fair skin, light hair, light eyes. But most of the rest of his features are his dad's. I'm guessing this baby will also have light skin and light eyes too, since DP and I both have light skin and eyes.

Do you and you sis look alike? My sister and I look NOTHING alike. We could not even pass for cousins People usually think we're lying when we say we're sisters. We have different fathers. She also looks much older than me. She is taller, has dark skin, dark hair, green eyes, and more fluffy. We couldn't be more opposite

Do your sis's baby and your ds look alike? A tiny bit. They both have fair skin and light eyes, but that is about it. Her DS is the spitting image of his dad, it's funny because he looks like a little miniature version of his dad.

Is your mom still in FL? Yep. We all live in the same town, me, sis, mom, and DS's dad.

What do you like more about living in FL? What do you like more about living in Boston? I like the winters in FL. I like how the houses are all fairly new and the area is well-kept with lots of beautiful palm trees and flowering trees around. I HATE the heat in the summer, it is unbearable at times and the huge bugs scare the hell out of me. Ever seen a wolf spider? They are the size of my hand! I've had them in my house :

I miss the rest f my family and my friends up in Boston, but other than that I don't miss the fast city life. I never liked how everyone was always in a hurry and people weren't very friendly. People are friendlier in FL.

[Jilian]

Jilian, congrats on your wedding! what sort of wedding are you having?
We're keeping it simple. We're getting married on the beach with a JoP. We're gonna have a few family members there but not many. After we're all going out to dinner at a really nice restaurant. My wedding to DS's dad was the big princess type wedding and I did it more for my family members than myself. I hated it. It cost a fortune and I didn't even get to enjoy myself because I was too busy running around and doing silly wedding ritual things. I swore that if I ever remarried I would keep it simple.

[GenomicsGirl]

Originally Posted by Jilian

Ever seen a wolf spider? They are the size of my hand! I've had them in my house :

We get them here in North Carolina - but they're not that big! I squished 3 in the garage the other day (I don't know why they were all hanging around eachother), and when I stomped on them, they popped! Their bodies were about the size of a penny - freaked me out! I would be scared of hand-sized ones!!!

[todavia]

what kind of music do you listen to?
what was the last movie you saw?
do you speak any other languages?
do you remember your dreams?
what is your favorite thing to do with your son?

[Marvelleaux]

Congrats on your impending nuptuals!

Who are you inviting to the birth?
Did you have any self-invitees that you had to let-down easy?
If you could eat anything you wanted at this moment, what would it be?
Do you have any concerns about how your husband will react during labor and birth?

[Jilian]

what kind of music do you listen to? I guess my favorite kind would be emo, I think that is what you call it. I love My Chemical Romance and Panic at the Disco. I also still love Pearl Jam and Nirvana from my high school days.

what was the last movie you saw? "Tuesdays with Morrie" I don't watch movies much at all, I'm not a movie person but we had to watch this for a human development class I just finished. It was such a great movie. Everyone should see it!

do you speak any other languages? I learned Spanish in junior high and high school but was never really any good at it. I can still speak a tiny bit of Spanish.

do you remember your dreams? Always. I have really vivid dreams and I like trying to interpret them. The other day I had a dream that DS wandered away and I lost him, it was horrible. At the end of the dream I found him and was so happy that he was ok.

what is your favorite thing to do with your son? I like cooking together. He's my little helper and likes doing things with me. We also like reading books together on the couch and playing pretend with him toys. I've been trying to teach him empathy by role playing with his toy dinosaurs