or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Pregnancy and Birth › Understanding Circumcision › Intact Penis-The Teen Years, or "I don't want to talk about it Mom!"
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Intact Penis-The Teen Years, or "I don't want to talk about it Mom!"

post #1 of 49
Thread Starter 
Okay....so there's lots of info out there on intact penises in babies...toddlers...children....

but now that my ds can't bear to talk to me about it...how do I advise him about his cleanliness, things to look for.... etc.!


So here's my question:
If a male NEVER pulled back his foreskin and let water run over it, would something bad happen?
post #2 of 49
Is there a close male relative he might feel more comfortable talking to?
post #3 of 49
When a boy gets to that stage, there are a lot of things besides cleanliness, etc. that he won't want to talk about with his mom. While you need to respect his sensitivities and privacy, you still have responsibilities as a parent. So even if he rolls his eyes, and says "Aw, Mom!" just say what needs to be said occasionally, and briefly, to kind of keep programming him - just like you would about not drinking and driving, etc. I'd say to my boys every so often, "And are you remembering to rinse under your foreskin when you bathe?" (just like I'd say the same thing about "Are you remembering to floss your teeth?"), and they'd roll their eyes, and say "Of course!! Sheesh!!" One time one of them said, "Mom, I've been doing that ever since I was about 12!" So they do hear you, even if they act like they don't.

Gillian
post #4 of 49
I have information that I have gathered to print out and give to ds for just this thing : granted ds is only 2.5 yo but I want to be prepaired. I know how the teen years can be.

I have things about how to clean, what to do if paraphimosis occurs, what to do about a tight foreskin etc.

I also have it on there for dh in case something should ever happen to me. So that he can protect ds.
post #5 of 49
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by MCatLvrMom2A&X View Post
I have information that I have gathered to print out and give to ds for just this thing : granted ds is only 2.5 yo but I want to be prepaired. I know how the teen years can be.

I have things about how to clean, what to do if paraphimosis occurs, what to do about a tight foreskin etc.

I also have it on there for dh in case something should ever happen to me. So that he can protect ds.
These are the types of reasons I started this thread. I am trying to find out WHAT I need to tell him about. Thanks.
post #6 of 49
Other things I can think of are if his frenulum is to tight I have a print out for that so that he can go in and tell them what he wants done for it instead of them saying cut it all off.

Some others are infections bacterial or yeast. How to treat that. Also it is my understanding that sometimes after having sex the first time a intact boy might bleed. That would probably freak a guy out if he didnt realize it would happen.

I will have a nice little book for him by the time he is old enough to read it
post #7 of 49
Yes, I put together a packet of stuff for my boys when they got to be teens. I'm pretty sure they must have looked through them, but when they moved out, I found their packets left among miscellaneous other junk that they didn't think to take with them. I'm hanging onto them, and will pass them on to them again when they get a little more grounded in being adults.

I included info on condom use for intact men. Info on hygiene (from CIRP). And info on appreciating intact sexuality.

Gillian
post #8 of 49
That is a good idea about the condoms i will be adding that to my notes
post #9 of 49
Tell him to ignore anyone who says intact guys are "icky", "nasty", or "gross" (or any variations thereof), and tell him to run far and fast away from anyone who says he should get circumcised.
post #10 of 49
And just to point out.....some of these issues, like bacterial infections, yeast, and STDs, happen to all penises, not just intact ones.

I would also make sure he knows at some point about the functions of the foreskin, so that he knows how lucky he is to be intact. Please don't put the thought in his head with all the "here's what you have to do that circed boys don't" stuff that there's something better about the circed penis! Because there's not. Not even on maintenance issues -- circed penises get skanky if they're not washed, just like intact ones!
post #11 of 49
Would your son sit in front of a computer screen and watch the video "The Prepuce"? It is the most wonderful owner's manual for the penis and I'm sure
that any intact boy who watched it would stand right up and give their parents
gigantic hugs for keeping them intact. See it here


(WMP, streaming) http://www.doctorsopposingcircumcisi...C/prepuce.html

(WMP, download) http://www.doctorsopposingcircumcisi...TSC_256k_D.wmv
post #12 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by glongley View Post
Yes, I put together a packet of stuff for my boys when they got to be teens. I'm pretty sure they must have looked through them, but when they moved out, I found their packets left among miscellaneous other junk that they didn't think to take with them. I'm hanging onto them, and will pass them on to them again when they get a little more grounded in being adults.

I included info on condom use for intact men. Info on hygiene (from CIRP). And info on appreciating intact sexuality.

Gillian
That's really neat. :-)
post #13 of 49
I have nothing to add. I'm glad you started this thread. My boys are young right now but I know this will creep on me before I know it. I want to be prepared.
post #14 of 49
In my family we are a bunch of weirdos with no shame that talk about all sorts of TMI stuff My poor kids will probably be so embarrassed by me when they are teens.

Anyway, I'd say giving him a packet of printed info would be good. Just tell him "hey look, I know you probably don't want to hear this, but in the rare event you ever have any problems with your penis, here is some information in case you don't want to approach me about it.." I'd imagine that if he ever did have anything major or painful come up, he'd eventually say something to someone.
post #15 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by MCatLvrMom2A&X View Post
Some others are infections bacterial or yeast. How to treat that.
I once had an intact partner use MY yeast infection cream. He said it worked like a charm. I was the one that kept giving him a yeast infection. I had a mild one that I couldn't ditch and eventually had to take some oral medication for it.
post #16 of 49
I guess I don't get it. I haven't noticed anything unique about condom use on an intact penis? We used them, didn't seem like anything special. Although I haven't had sex with a condom in years so maybe I'm forgetting something? I don't know, I think that it just isn't that complicated. I don't remind my dd if she is washing the folds of her vulva so I'm not getting why parents would feel the need to make sure their sons are washing under the foreskin?
post #17 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by Arduinna View Post
I don't remind my dd if she is washing the folds of her vulva so I'm not getting why parents would feel the need to make sure their sons are washing under the foreskin?
I'm with you.
post #18 of 49
For me it is not so much reminding him to do it as making sure he knows he can when the time comes.
post #19 of 49
I agree with Arduinna. As the mother of two grown intact males, I worried about the usual things, such as, will they use drugs? Will they become sexually active and get a girl pregnant? Will they keep up their grades and get into college? What will they be when they grow up? I hope I've done a good job of raising them!
I NEVER worried about their penises or their foreskins! : I assumed that they knew how to clean themselves, since they didn't smell bad.

The thing an intact man has to worry about most in the United States is that someone else is going to think that he has a problem. You might want to help them deal with any social pressures they might encounter. The good thing is, by the time your sons grow up, there will be more intact men than there are now. They won't be the only ones.
post #20 of 49
My boys are 15 and going-on-12. Whether it's embarrassing or not, I'm 99.9%certain that they would come to me or DH if anything was wrong or hurting on any part of their bodies.

Honestly, my frequent line as they were getting into the 'tween years was, "Don't forget to clean under the hood" as they made their way to the shower. I don't say that anymore, and kind of miss the eye-rolling from my boys.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Understanding Circumcision
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Pregnancy and Birth › Understanding Circumcision › Intact Penis-The Teen Years, or "I don't want to talk about it Mom!"