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How many do you want to have? Why? - Page 2

post #21 of 41
We currently have two children with #3 on the way.

I understand that maternal age and finances can be limiting factors in family size. But we decided a while ago that we would do whatever we could to accept as many children into our family as we can. I originally wanted six, but after my super easy pregnancies and deliveries, I'm currently thinking eight. Finances are a bit tight right now, but that's only because DH is still in school and only working part time, while I'm a complete SAHM.

Thankfully, we started having children young and seem to be having them close together (I was 22 when DD#1 was born, I just barely turned 24), so my current goal is still do be done with the childbearing part by the time I'm 35.

post #22 of 41
When we finally got around to starting a family (our 16th anniversary is next month ), we originally talked about 3-4 kids, but we have a 1 year old & a baby due in July, & we're thinking right now that 2 is feeling like a really good number! I'm turning 40 this fall, have been preg for the last 3 yrs (had a m/c before the 1st baby), & am feeling pretty tired, & DH is 12 yrs older than me, & while he loves his DD, finds her pretty lively, & thinks 2 of them are going to keep us both pretty busy So energy levels, age, financial, etc are all issues here.
post #23 of 41
If not for genetic issues, DH and I would probably go right ahead and have another. But wishing doesn't make those issues go away, so we're probably done now, with our lovely two.
post #24 of 41
We're stopping at 2. I'm never more miserable than when I'm pregnant. We also don't have much family support, so we think morbidly: if something were to happen to DH, 2 is a number that I feel I can support on my own. If something were to happen to both of us, 2 is a number that won't be an undue burden for the person we designate as legal Guardian.
post #25 of 41
I'd like to have one or two. (I have four. We're trying to decide which ones to get rid of. )
post #26 of 41
I want as many as possible. Double digits are not out of the question for me. DH, on the other hand, is dead set on three. I think it's the money thing. But I'm sick to my stomach thinking that the whole time I'm pregnant with number 3 I'll be miserable that I'll never do it again. I don't know. I'm praying he'll budge when we get there.
post #27 of 41
Thread Starter 
Originally Posted by RBinTEX View Post
I'd like to have one or two. (I have four. We're trying to decide which ones to get rid of. )
: I love it!!!! How about a swap?!?
post #28 of 41
preferably 2. but if we happen to have more, that's okay. even tho i'm not a huge fan of being preggers, i still think that children are blessings (as corny as that sounds).
post #29 of 41
We have four, three by birth and one by guardianship/soon-to-be-adoption. We will continue having children as often as they come to us with no end in sight. We are open to children, not using any kind of birth control, so I'll probably give birth to several more children, and if any more come to us through guardianship/adoption (unlikely but possible), we'll be open to them too. If nothing else changes, we'll probably have at least 3 more children.

I think there are advantages to this (besides not having to plan or fool with birth control)--kids get to grow up with siblings, play with each other, learn about babies, etc. Having little ones around makes the home an all-around more pleasant environment. And no one is ever lonely.

Disadvantages include money (not so much the household expenses, but things like saving for college become more problematic with each arrival) and energy (mine--although, because of the playing-with-each-other factor, this is more of a push). But as a whole, I wouldn't do it any other way.
post #30 of 41
One and we have him! We love having a small family. Frankly, sometimes I'm surprised that more people don't have one child!
post #31 of 41
I have one. And while my babyfever is strong, I have no plans on having another any time soon. My son is a super high needs, strong willed little boy. I love him with everything that is in me, but there are some days I still long for the childfree days. I want to be the best mom I can be for him. And adding another baby into the mix would take me away from him. He needs me too much. And I still have a lot of growing as a parent to do.

We will have at least one more. As long as we are physically able to. But it will be when I can talk and reason with my son. He'll need a lot of help accepting a new baby and he needs to be old enough to have a general understanding of what will be going on.

Don't get me wrong, he is a good good baby! Just.... a little high maintenance, which DH likes to remind me is from my side.
post #32 of 41
We have 3 right now...

DS1 is 7, DS2 is 24mo, (family foster turned adoption) and DS3 is 12mo.

I am currently pregnant w/ twins. If these/this pregnancies stick, this will be it for us. I have terrible uterine issues and will be having a hysterectomy after this pregnancy. If we do m/c this pregnancy, I will probably try again for a few months then if we don't get pg have a hysterectomy anyways...

I always wanted 4. Since I was a small child...But as I get older, (lol, I am all of 24 years old) I wish we could have more. I honestly do. I love children.

post #33 of 41
We have 2 and DH says we are done; I would love at least one more. I have always wanted a big family (I'm #1 of 4 and DH is #1 of 3) and feel that having only 3 would be compromising. We will see what happens.
post #34 of 41
We have one and we both want as many as Gd gives us.

Which we hope will be very many indeed.

I'm a little nervous about being pregnant with too short intervals for health reasons, but so far I've refused to use any sort of birth control after DS was born (he's almost 6 months) so I'm clearly not that nervous! And I feel like we got late starting. I'm all of 25, but my 23 year old sister has two already......and DH keeps calculating how many we could possibly have based on a baby every 2.5 years and menopause at 45...then he says maybe we could do every 2 years...etc. I've got baby fever already -- I keep checking my cm and praying AF won't show up. Getting pregnant right now would be bad on so many levels, but if I did I would be thrilled anyway.

I'm from a family of six, by the way, and it was the best thing in the world.
post #35 of 41
Originally Posted by MommytoTwo View Post
Why not 4? Space and money. Also, as DD is now 2.5 and can play at the park without me hovering, and she and DS are playing nicely (soemtimes) together... I can see the light at the end of the diaper-years tunnel... now I am pg with #3 but I can sort of see some freedom for myself, and I like that..

Space and money (along with our age) are big factors in our not having more than three.

I had the same experience as you. When I was pg with #3, I could see the light at the end of the tunnel It's been great for me.
post #36 of 41
I always thought I would have 3-4 kids. I came from a big family and to this day have a close and loving relationship with all of my sisters.

But I ended up divorced, and now I'm in a new career that I really love. My son is 4.5 and things are getting so easy ... I dare say he might be my one and only.

I'd love to have one more eventually .. but I want to be able to be home with my baby for the first 2 years at least, and I just don't see that being able to happen anytime soon.
post #37 of 41
When we had 2, we decided that was enough. I really wanted one more but DH felt we had our hands full, so I agreed.

Along came #3. I was nervous the whole pg about having another high needs baby - DD had been one and DS1 had been even more high needs, which we didn't think was possible. But he had a lot of health issues. I joked the entire time I was pg that this time I was asking for a baby that didn't cry much. Turns out that's what we got. DS2 was the most easy-going baby. The pregnancy, while not super-easy, was by far my best one. It was the only one I didn't get induced due to pre-eclampsia. I actually got to go to almost 42 weeks.

Then I had a miscarriage when DS2 was 2 years old. It was a birth control mishap pg but the miscarriage hit me really hard. I really wanted to have a fourth then. I felt like someone was missing. But eventually, DH and I decided that we were okay with 3, even though I was sad. But I knew that I couldn't replace that child lost to miscarriage so I filled the hole in my heart by doing tons with my 3 live children.

Then I found out I was indeed pg with #4! It was a hard pg with added health complications that I didn't expect. In the end, I was induced at 37 weeks for pre-e, had high BP for 6 weeks after he was born and was on bedrest for his first week and meds for the entire 6 weeks. The induction was the hardest one yet and then DS3 got sick as a newborn and was readmitted to the hospital for a week. I was an emotional wreck when all was said and done.

I know that DS3 is our last. It has to be. I cannot risk my health with another pg (I know that pre-e is not necessarily going to happen again but I feel the risk will too much for me). I have four great kids who deserve a healthy mommy. They have lots of siblings to grow up with. Some days I'm beyond sad - I want to be pg again and experience the birth/newborn period. But I just can't risk it. It has taken me a lot of emotional work (and will take more) to get to this point. In some ways, I feel like I got out of this last one by the skin of my teeth, so to speak. I lucked out in so many ways.

But that doesn't mean that I'm not sad about the end of my childbearing years. When DS3 eventually weans, I will probably be a basket case
post #38 of 41
I have one. BF (will almost definately be dh) goes back and forth on the issue. Before we even met he said he only wanted one child. Now that he's with me (a mom) he's torn. On one hand he only wanted one child- and that would be Owen now. On the other hand he knows I *really* want one more and I know he wants a biological child of his own. If I have to guess I would say we have one more child in about 5 years.
post #39 of 41
I have one, and we're planning to TTC #2 late this year or very early next. Unless we have twins with that pregnancy, we'll stop at 2. Financially, I think that that is what we can best afford on one salary, and I'd really like to be able to stay at home.
post #40 of 41
One and only one. Before we had her, it was b/c of the long history of genetic problems in DH's side of the family, as well as "questionable" sperm (my husband has tons of chemicals in his system from Iraq).

We have one. She has solidified our decision. We love her to death, but we're not baby people. We can't imagine doing this again, and, frankly, she's pretty darn close to perfect, and we know we wouldn't get this lucky a second time around (slept through the night at six weeks, hardly ever cries, teethed w/o a sound, way ahead on milestones, etc.).

With my luck, if we tried for a second, we'd get Damien incarnate.

There's more to it than just that, but for everything that encompasses our lifestyles and personalities (and, honestly, for our daughter's as her personality is becoming more discernable, as well) one child is probably the best fit all around.
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